History Recap / StrongBadEmailE163WhatIWant

->'''Strong Bad:''' (''to the tune of Keyboard Strong Bad's rendition of "Jingle Bells" in "Decemberween in July"'') Ding ding dong, ding ding dong, ding ding Dear Strong Bad!

->'''Strong Bad:''' (''singing'') Ding ding dong, ding ding dong, ding ding Dear Strong Bad!

Talon Jendro ("Where'd you get that name, George Lucas? Ta'lon J'en-dr'o from the computery-generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia") wants to know what Strong Bad wants for [[YouMeanXmas Decemberween]]. Strong Bad remarks that the sort of things he wants should be obvious ("A catapult that launches balls of cobras, a chainsaw car, a subscription to [=EGM2=], a hot step-sister..."), and that it's more important to establish what he ''doesn't'' want for Decemberween.

Strong Bad (and Marzipan, of all people) proceed to go into a parody of home shopping TV programs as they list off a series of undesirable Decemberween presents, including:

->'''Strong Bad:''' So Ta'lon, my young apprentice, there's my "Please Great Aunt Whoever, Don't Get Me This Stuff For Decemberween" list. I highly suggest you make your own. But if it doesn't work, don't forget to take advantage of all the temporary help that retailers hire this time of year. Those people will refund ''anything''! Last year, I returned an omelette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks. [[ThatsAllFolks Well, Happy Decemberween everybloody!]]

* PunctuationShaker: Strong Bad reads the sender's name as "Ta'lon J'en-dr'o from the computery generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia."

* CrappyHomemadeGift: This is just a "veritable cornucoperie" (as Strong Bad has said once in the past) of opinionated crappy Christmas gifts that Strong Bad does NOT want, which includes some home-made efforts: seashells with office supplies glued to them for absolutely no reason, and a "31-karat" clothespin reindeer ornament with googly eyes named "Klibber", which Strong Bad calls an "anti-gift" because it's both home-made ''AND'' and ornament.

Talon Jendro "from the computery-generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia" wants to know what Strong Bad wants for [[YouMeanXmas Decemberween]]. Strong Bad remarks that the sort of things he wants should be obvious ("A catapult that launches balls of cobras, a chainsaw car, a subscription to [=EGM2=], a hot step-sister..."), and that it's more important to establish what he ''doesn't'' want for Decemberween.

Talon Jendro "from the computery-generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia" wants to know what Strong Bad wants for [[YouMeanXmas Decemberween]]. Strong Bad remarks that the sort of things he wants should be obvious ("A catapult that launches balls of cobras, chainsaw car, subscription to [=EGM2=], hot step-sister..."), and that it's more important to establish what he ''doesn't'' want for Decemberween.

-->'''Strong Bad:''' So Ta'lon, my young apprentice, there's my "Please Great Aunt Whoever, Don't Get Me This Stuff For Decemberween" list. I highly suggest you make your own. But if it doesn't work, don't forget to take advantage of all the temporary help that retailers hire this time of year. Those people will refund ''anything''! Last year, I returned an omelette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks. [[ThatsAllFolks Well, Happy Decemberween everybloody!]]

* BlackComedyRape: Implied, with Strong Sad's phone call being interrupted by what sounds like an amorous wildebeest attacking him.

* MyNewGiftIsLame: The whole point of this e-mail is listing bad gift ideas that will earn this reaction.

* PunctuationShaker: "Where'd you get that name, George Lucas? Ta'lon J'en-dr'o from the computery generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia."

Strong Bad (and Marzipan, of all people) proceed to go into a parody of home shopping TV programs as they list off a series of undesirable Decemberween presents:
* Tacky and/or quickly dated ornaments ("There's nothing like opening a gift just in time to put it in a box in the attic for a year. And next Decemberween when you get it back out, guess what? It's still just a cool snowman surfing the internet.")

* Home-made gifts, including sea-shells with "office supplies glued to them for no reason", and clothes-pin reindeer ornaments ("Home-made ''and'' an ornament! That thing is an anti-gift!")

* OhNoNotAgain: Strong Sad calls Strong Bad's shopping show to complain about him putting "wildebeest pheremones in my laundry again".

Talon Jendro "from the computery-generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia" wants to know what Strong Bad wants for [[YouMeanXmas Decemberween]]. Strong Bad remarks that the sort of things he wants should be obvious ("A catapult that launches balls of cobras, chainsaw car, subscription to EGM2, hot step-sister..."), and that it's more important to establish what he ''doesn't'' want for Decemberween.

* Motion-activated mechanical dancing "no-bots" which play some garbled pop song "in glorious drive-thru stereo" that tends to be drowned out anyway by their noisy internal mechanisms.

Strong Bad tells us not only what he wants for [[YouMeanXmas Decemberween]], but also what he doesn't.

* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: Ornaments and home-made gifts are bad, but apparently home-made gifts (like the "forgettably precious" clothes-pin reindeer) are the worst.
-->'''Strong Bad:''' That thing is an anti-gift. If someone gives you one of those, you actually have to ''pay'' them because it's so poor. Uh, probably because ''they're'' so poor.