History Recap / GleeS2E15Sexy

* MisplacedWildlife: Brittany mentions having seen a stork build its nest on top of her garage. However, there is only one type of stork, the wood stork, that breeds in the continental United States, and its breeding range is limited to southern states, not extending any further north than North Carolina. (Occasional nonbreedingvagrants have indeed been recorded in Ohio, however). It should be noted though, that especially considering Brittany’s ditziness, it’s also possible she actually saw a heron, which are common and do breed in Ohio, and mistook it for a stork.

* "Animal" by Neon Trees, performed by Kurt, Blaine and the Warblers

* "Kiss" by the artist who used to be and still is known as Music/{{Prince}}, performed by Will and Holly

* "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)" by Music/GaryGlitter, performed by Holly Holliday with Santana and Brittany

* "Kiss" by the artist who used to be and still is known as Prince, performed by Will and Holly
* "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, performed by Holly, Santana and Brittany

* "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)" by Gary Glitter, performed by Holly Holliday with Santana and Brittany

Next Time: Regionals 2011, where ''Glee'' breaks with the formula used since day one, and we get the scene that establishes both an AlternateCharacterInterpretation and a RunningGag that'll last the rest of these recaps.

We start our "sexiness" with... the Celibacy Club. Yes, seems Quinn's reverting to old methods, as we see her and its only other member, Rachel. Emma calls it to order, as it seems the two of them are only there because Rachel, supposedly there to focus on her song-writing (which will pay off next episode), is instead trying to get Quinn to spill about her relationship with Finn; seems the feelings never left despite it being ''Rachel'' who kissed someone not Finnegan. Quinn, despite ''having'' Finn, wants to focus on herself. You know, and this will be elaborated on next episode, but if you took Finn out of the equation, and if both of them didn't cheat on/with Finn, things would be a lot more simple. Just saying. Anyway, Emma, wanting to distribute the message to the whole school (which we know would be a waste of time), produces two necklaces, one with a key, the other with a heart featuring a lock, the idea being to give the lock necklace, but keep the key necklace. Very [[SarcasmMode sub]][[{{Anvilicious}} tle]] Em. Rachel tries to ask Emma some questions, but Emma, in a mood to be insane likely due to Will getting under her skin again, goes on a raving rant about waiting until later. Wow, you'd think that maybe Glee doesn't like celibacy or something. [[spoiler: It doesn't]]. It does, however, like to hit the TitleCard.

Lounge. Emma sits bummed next to Will; seems she did sell the necklaces, but this being [=McKinley=], the students were wearing them as clip-on nipple rings. Will, having seen what Quinn went through, says preaching abstinence is good, and he's happy to help her spread the word. And since this is an episode about sex, and we've had one point, in walks the counterpoint in the form of one Holly Holliday, subbing for the Health and Wellness teacher who apparently got herpes. Damn. Emma, not happy about this obvious challenger to her ex's affections, asks Holly why she doesn't think that celibacy is a valid choice for teenagers. Holly says that she thinks that it is, but it's like saying that lions have a choice to be vegetarians. Holly says that they need to shake up [=McKinley=] because so many of the kids know fuck all about sex, basically. And to provide the proper visuals, we flashback to that morning's sex ed lesson. Holly tells the kids about the uses of a condom before holding up a cucumber to teach them how to use one. Finn asks if cucumbers can give you AIDS (Hudson sometimes your stupidity never ceases to terrify) and Mercedes gets freaked out because she had one on her salad. Back to the lounge, Holly says that they need to educate the kids. Emma, clearly in a mood today, protests, saying that it will steal their innocence. Innocence? On Glee? Excuse me while I laugh hysterically. Ahem.

Anyway, Holly pretty much points out that it's unlikely that the kids have any innocence[[note]]She ain't kidding[[spoiler:, in fact by the GrandFinale, Mercedes will be the only ND member still a virgin.]][[/note]], and Emma, clearly torn by the throws of OCD and her latent virgin sex drive, goes on another batshit rant. [[spoiler: Sadly for her, she'll have to wait until near the end of ''next'' season to get her V-Card punched.]] And now comes a scene that will have an impactful payoff by the end of the episode. We see Brittany at her locker as Santana approaches. Now, up to this point, we've had only subtle inklings about Brittana's hookups. However, in an example of Santana's latent feelings about to bubble to the surface, she arrives for a not so subtle invite for a booty call. However, in a classic case of misdirection, Brittany declines... because she thinks she has an Abrams in the oven. Santana is understandably freaked the fuck out at the love of her life carrying a kid, so after promising Brit she'd stay quiet, she promptly tells Tina who screams 'Brittany's pregnant!' loud enough to be heard by Puck and Zizes, who of course tell Artie who gives us the best D: face ever.

Choir room. Everyone's trying to console poor Artie. Brittany apologises for keeping Artie in the dark and, showing this to be a basic bait and switch, finally explains that a stork built its nest on her garage, so it's ''obviously'' getting ready to bring Brittany her baby. [[FacePalm *thud* *thud* *thud*]]. Brit-Brit, why do you do this to us? As we cut to dumbfounded ND members including an obviously relieved Santana, we then cut to Will in a jazzercise class telling Holly that's why he thinks the kids need to be educated about sex. Holly, in turn, asks Will to come into glee and have her do a number while slipping in a lesson on sex in the process. Things then get personal as we find out, no surprise, Will hasn't gotten any since he dumped Terri; yes, he's made out many times but never got it on. Holly declares it a waste and Will gets the double take. Cut back to the choir room where Will writes out the TitleDrop, after Santana makes a crack about Rachel's tights[[note]]Which are getting to [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Willow Rosenberg]] levels it must be said.[[/note]], Will says the bulk of ND are lacking in basic sex knowledge. And since ND is all about flexing vocal cords while exercising demons, Enter the Holliday HellBentForLeather. Holly starts by declaring sex to be like hugging, only wetter (Artie agrees). She then goes to Finn and after asking him about Quinn and the hot tub, we get the line that would define part of the character of Finnegan Hudson:

''I have always been dubious.''

Holly asks if Brittany thinks storkes bring babies: ''I get my information from WesternAnimation/WoodyWoodpecker cartoons.'' Holly then announces the lesson, only for Rachel to protest about being celibate while sitting next to her is someone who wishes she wasn't. Again, next episode. Holly calls the both of them naive and possibly frigid, and fair point to Holly on that one. After saying that every intimate encounter in their lives is gonna start with a touch, she and Brittana (because the lession is about sex so duh) go into a number by the sexiest one of all... Gary Glitter... yikes. Granted, Puck may like it, but not the rest of us. After we see that not even Faberry are immune to the Lopierce charms, we get Holly saying that every time there's intercourse, due to fluids, that person is technically doing everyone their partner's done. Poor Brit-Brit looks horrified.

After the break, we go from the sexy to the silly, as we're with Klaine at the Lima Bean, when sex in a tracksuit walks in. Sue says that she's heard New Directions is going sexy for Regionals, and suggests an alliance between Dalton and Aural Intensity. Shocking no one, they say no, however this does leave Blaine rattled enough to call a Warbler meeting to discuss increasing sex appeal. In the lounge, Emma, still with something up somewhere, rails on Will over the supposedly inappropriate lesson from Holly, but Will, sensing a fight on his hands, derails her by offering a counterpoint by letting her and Faberry perform. Emma calms down. Cut to Puck's locker where Zizes approaches. Seems she's got the spotlight in her her eyes and since Holly's number got her hot and bothered, she wants her and Puck to partake in that most famous of customs... making a sex tape. Now, can you see the problem here? We will later as we cut to the Warblers in a warehouse. No, they're not doing a modern remake of "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZ33w3B8Hw Relax]]", they're inviting their female counterparts, Crawford Country Day, to watch them perform. Seems the Warblers want to be sexy, so they need an opinion. They cue up some Neon Trees and do their best steps. Unfortunately, amongst them is only who never understood the concept of sexy, as Kurt attempts and sadly just winds up looking like a fuckwit. Although the bubble machine does balance it out. Afterwards, Blaine asks if Kurt's OK, since he was making weird faces. Kurt says he was trying to be sexy and laments over how bad he is at being sexy. Blaine says they'll work something out. Not a spoiler to say Kurt will improve his sexiness over the rest of the series.

Cut to Santana's room, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar post-Brittana sex]]. Brittany, who as we've established is aware of Santana's feelings and is also aware of her denial of them, gets reminded that she's not cheating on Artie because [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex the plumbing's different]], then tells Santana that with Artie, there's feelings. Granted, they're there mostly because Brittany didn't want to be lonely, but she does care about the guy, and thus the feelings, though not romantic, are still viable. In her own words, "Because with feelings, it's better". As you'd guess, Santana disagrees, though mostly it's because she's still terrified to tell Brit the truth, not knowing that she already knows. She even says she doesn't believe in labels. It is understandable to stay in the closet if you're scared of people's reactions and/or telling the person you're in love how you feel. But it's another thing when that person gets the brunt of your denials. Brittany feels like something's gotta give, so after using a breakfast analogy because sometimes the nonsensical is the best way for her to convey herself, she suggests talking to an adult about their relationship.

As Santana ponders, we cut to the library where Puck and Lauren watch Kim Kardashian's sex tape. [[WhatAnIdiot Yes, they're watching porn in a school library]]. Puck and Zizes, you're a pair of idiots. Holly approaches and asks them what they're doing. After hearing the story, namely, Zizes makes the tape and gets a recording contract, which considering AutoTune might make gold, she tells them that while she's impressed with their ambition, as they're both south of 18, if they actually make the tape, they'll be guilty of making and producing child porn[[note]]Gloriously HarsherInHindsight.[[/note]]. As the two of them meekly retreat, Holly runs into Santana and Brittany, who ask her for help. And now for the MoodWhiplash. We cut to the choir room, where Holly calls for her sharing circle. Holly asks if Brittana thinks they're lesbians. Brittany doesn't know, this is because she's actually bi, whereas Santana swears that ''she'''s bi. She's not, assuming she fell for Brit at a young age, that must've freaked her out enough to start hiding behind cocks while having Brit on the side because she thought that's as much of her as she could have. Also, she once had a [[CargoShip sex dream about a shrub]]. Basically, Holly is getting that they're finding it hard to define their emotions for each other, so she suggests that they sing a song. Santana says she knows the perfect song but she needs Holly's help, and Holly agrees.

Kurt's house. Blaine is sitting with Kurt in front of his mirror trying to teach him to be sexy. It isn't working. Basically, while Kurt is comfortable liking guys, he's terrified of ''liking'' guys. Hell, he even tried porn, it didn't work either, his brain wandering off to thinking about anything other than what he's seen. Essentially, Kurt likes all aspects of romance except the physical. Blaine suggests that they talk it through, unfortunately for Blaine, Kurt's whipped into a frenzy and kicks him out. And now, more MoodWhiplash! In the choir room, Will's trying to get his own sexy on, opting to do some {{Music/Prince}} as a tango with Holly, who thinks it's awesome and ridiculous. It turns into a fantasy sequence as per the norm. Afterwards, in a slight plot twist, the passions built up to the two of them making out. In front of the band. Good way to get yourself fired, that. Will asks Holly out and Holly declines, calling herself "damaged goods". After the break, we're at Burt's auto shop when Blaine arrives to give Burt a carburetor; seems Blaine's dad and him rebuilt a '59 Chevy in an obvious attempt to try and make Blaine straight. Blaine's there to ask Burt to give Kurt The Talk; seems Dalton and most schools don't have sex ed, and the ones that do don't take same-sex relations into account. Blaine then lays down the nightmare scenario: Kurt at a party tanked and taken advantage of. Burt ponders as it's back to...

...the choir room, where we get a hallmark scene; Holly and Brittana and some Dixie Chicks. Afterwards, tears in the eyes, Santana admits what she couldn't with words. Sam, either in denial or genuinely oblivious, tells Artie [[HoYay he wishes]] they could be as close as their girlfriends. [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments Artie's reaction is priceless]], although it's tinged with something else, as it appears he's connected the dots and isn't liking the picture. And then, Rachel has to wreck the moment by saying that she applauds them for exploring the world of lesbian love. Rachel, ''you're'' an idiot. And like clockwork, the other "L-Word" causes the walls around Santana to close back us as she snaps back that one song does not give Rachel the right to put labels on her. Brittany is visibly crushed.

Back to the Celibacy club as it reconvenes to discover we have a new member... Puck. Yes, you read me correctly. Quinn and Rachel have a 'WTF?!' moment at another collective ex, while Emma reminds the group that they're performing at Glee. Puck, in what for him is clearly the act of a desperate man, says that he's happy to perform as long as they get another male member. And no, there was not a DoubleEntendre in that last sentence. Emma's got it covered. And then... desserts. The sublety is just... amazing. We see Faberry, Puck, Emma, and Stamos on the drums earning a check as they perform 'Afternoon Delight'. Again, yes, you read me correctly. Afterwards, Holly asks why Emma thought it was a good song to sing. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It is PAINFULLY OBVIOUS Emma clearly doesn't have a clue]] what it's really about (she thinks "Afternoon Delight" is a dessert hence the backdrop), leading Carl to beg Holly for help. I think we all need help after that. Thankfully, we get a break.

After the break, we're back at Kurt's house, where Burt basically drags him in, kicking and screaming, so they can have the Talk. After giving Kurt some pamphlets to explain the technical matters, Burt tells him, in essence, that people become very different when they have sex, and Kurt shouldn't throw himself around or give himself away like he doesn't matter, because he matters. We then cut to Holly giving Carl and Emma a counseling session. While Emma denies, Carl acknowledges there are problems between them. Seems that, as established, Emma's a virgin and she likes to cuddle a lot, while Carl wants more. However, Holly realizes there's one more issue, and asks Emma if she's still in love with Will. Emma doesn't say anything, and the silence speaks all of the volumes. She tries to cover it up by saying she's confused about her feelings, but Carl sees no confusion, and tells Emma that she's got the house to herself because he's going to sleep in a hotel until she's sorted things out. Emma, knowing if Will finds out he'll be on her, so to speak, begs Holly to keep it mum, and Holly agrees.

And now, a very painful moment, but one in the offing since the start of the season. We see Santana at Brittany's locker. It seems that the glee number made her reevaluate. Part of what makes her what she is is that she uses insults as a defense mechanism, strike before being struck. But the anger, the maliciousness of some of the insults is that she has feelings that she keeps at bay because of the horrendous hierarchy of [=McKinley=]. But it's also due to fear of rejection. Bottom line is, in a heart rending AnguishedDeclarationOfLove, Santana doesn't wanna be with anyone but Brittany. However, nothing is ever that easy. As it's obvious Brittany would like nothing more than to make out with her in the hallway, she knows there's a certain boy on wheels that's in the picture as well, and she genuinely cares about him. And thus, because as you'll find out, RIB will love to torture us, Brittany rejects Santana. Three guesses how she responds to that. Yep, and no spoiler but for the next seven episodes it'll get worse before it gets better.

We start the home stretch of this theater of pleasure and pain with [[AbuseIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale Zizes finding Puck and railing on him for joining the Celibacy Club]]. Noah explains that he's trying to take responsibility for his actions. Seems he actually enjoys the chase, wooing her and what not. [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence This makes Zizes want to punch him]], [[BigDamnKiss but it also turns her on]], and she agrees to join too. Zizes, your kinks are mighty. We cut to said Celibacy Club, and it's grown to everyone minus Finn, Mercedes, and Tike. Rachel has taken over, natch. However, because a fickle Fabray is fickle, we cut to... to... Fuinn post-coitus, complete with Quinn saying Finn should've been her first. FacePalm. No, Puck shouldn't been her first, and neither should've Finn.

In the auditorium, Will's trying some steps when Holly walks in. She's leaving to go sub at another school, because her cucumber lesson, as you'd probably expect, did not receive much good feedback to say the least. However, it seems that getting Brittana to show their feelings, as futile as it was for now, made Holly realize how closed off she's been. She asks Will to be with her, he agrees, BigDamnKiss and we're out.

Holly asks if Brittany thinks storkes bring babies: ''I get my information from WesternAnimation/WoodyWoodpecker cartoons.'' Holly then announces the lesson, only for Rachel to protest about being celibate while sitting next to her is someone who wishes she wasn't. Again, next episode. Holly calls the both of them naive and possibly frigid, and fair point to Holly on that one. After saying that every intimate encounter in their lives is gonna start with a touch, she and Brittana (because the lession is about sex so duh) go into a number by the sexiest one of all... Gary Glitter... yikes. Granted, Puck make like it, but not the rest of us. After we see that not even Faberry are immune to the Lopierce charms, we get Holly saying that every time there's intercourse, due to fluids, that person is technically doing everyone their partner's done. Poor Brit-Brit looks horrified.

Next Time: Regionals 2011, where Glee breaks with the formula used since day one, and we get the scene that establishes both an AlternateCharacterInterpretation and a RunningGag that'll last the rest of these recaps.

* AgeInappropriateMaterial: Emma's opinion on giving sex-ed to teenagers. Pretty much all of which she knows are sexually active.

* HarsherInHindsight:
** Puck with the child pornography considering Mark Salling's arrest for possession.
** Holly having performed a ''Gary Glitter'' song.

...the choir room, where we get a hallmark scene; Holly and Brittana and some Dixie Chicks. Afterwards, tears in the eyes, Santana admits what she couldn't with words. Sam, either in denial or genuinely oblivious, tells Artie [[HoYay he wishes]] they could be as close as their girlfriends. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Artie's reaction is priceless]], although it's tinged with something else, as it appears he's connected the dots and isn't liking the picture. And then, Rachel has to wreck the moment by saying that she applauds them for exploring the world of lesbian love. Rachel, ''you're'' an idiot. And like clockwork, the other "L-Word" causes the walls around Santana to close back us as she snaps back that one song does not give Rachel the right to put labels on her. Brittany is visibly crushed.

Next Time: Sectionals 2011, where Glee breaks with the formula used since day one, and we get the scene that establishes both an AlternateCharacterInterpretation and a RunningGag that'll last the rest of these recaps.

Emma calls a meeting of the Celibacy Club to order. There are now only two members: Quinn and Rachel. Quinn rejoined to focus on herself, and Rachel rejoined to focus on her song-writing, since New Directions is doing original songs for Regionals. Emma produces some rather [[{{Anvilicious}} unsubtle]] jewelry that she's thinking that they could distribute to the school as a celibacy message. Rachel tries to ask Emma some questions, but Emma goes on a raving rant about waiting until later. Wow, you'd think that maybe Glee doesn't like celibacy or something.

In the staff-room, Emma tells Will that she's upset about the chastity charms- they did catch on, but students were wearing them as clip-on nipple rings. Will gives her a little talk about how since he's seen what teenage pregnancy can do to a girl, he thinks preaching abstinence is good, and he's happy to help her spread the word. Enter Holly Holliday, who's subbing for the Health and Wellness teacher, who apparently got herpes. Damn. Emma asks Holly why she doesn't think that celibacy is a valid choice for teenagers. Holly says that she thinks that it is, but it's like saying that lions have a choice to be vegetarians. Holly says that they need to shake up [=McKinley=] because so many of the kids know fuck all about sex, pardon the pun.

Flashback to that morning's sex ed lesson. Holly tells the kids about the uses of a condom before holding up a cucumber to teach them how to use one. Finn asks if cucumbers can give you AIDS (oh, for God's sake Hudson, your stupidity never ceases to terrify) and Mercedes gets freaked out because she had one on her salad.
Back to the staff-room. Holly says that they need to educate the kids. Emma protests, saying that it will steal their innocence. Innocence? On Glee? Excuse me while I laugh hysterically. Ahem. Anyway, Holly pretty much points out that it's unlikely that the kids have any innocence, and Emma goes on another batshit rant.

In the hallway, Santana propositions Brittany, who would be only too happy to have sex with her, but she's not feeling very sexy, because she thinks she's pregnant. Oh God, wasn't one dumb blonde teenage pregnant cheerleader enough? Brittany asks her not to tell anyone. Santana immediately tells Tina, who screams 'Brittany's pregnant!' loud enough to be heard by Puck, who tells Lauren, who tells Artie, giving us the best D: face ever.
In the music room, everyone's trying to console poor Artie. Brittany apologises for keeping Artie in the dark and finally explains that a stork built its nest on her garage, so it's ''obviously'' getting ready to bring Brittany her baby. [[FacePalm *thud* *thud* *thud*]]. Brit-Brit, why do you do this to us?

Back in the staff-room, Will tells Holly that's why he thinks the kids need to be educated about sex. Holly gets him to let her lead a Glee rehearsal so she can slip in a lesson on sex in the process.
In the music room, Holly begins her lesson by asking the club about their misconceptions on sex, tells them that they're going to learn the truth about sex whether they like it or not, and performs 'Do You Wanna Touch Me'. For the record, yes. Yes we do.

At a coffee shop, Sue ambushes Kurt and Blaine, telling them that New Directions is going to do a sexy number at Regionals, and suggests an alliance between Dalton and Aural Intensity. They say no.

In the staff-room, Emma confronts Will over the Glee club's supposedly inappropriate lesson from Holly, but Will derails her by offering to let the Celibacy Club perform. Emma agrees.

Lauren tells Puck that she's decided to make a sex tape with him. Puck is only too happy to agree.

Elsewhere, Blaine has decided to be sexy, so Dalton performs 'Animal' in front of their sister school. Kurt attempts to be sexy and just looks like a fuckwit. Blaine asks if Kurt's OK, since he was making weird faces. Kurt says he was trying to be sexy and laments over how bad he is at being sexy. Blaine says they'll work something out.

Santana's room, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar post-Brittana sex]]. They have a talk in which Santana reminds Brittany that they're not cheating because [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex the plumbing's different]], and Brittany says that she's not sure how she feels about them as a couple. Brittany wants to talk to an adult about their relationship.

In the library, Puck and Lauren watch Kim Kardashian's sex tape. [[WhatAnIdiot Yes, they're watching porn in a school library.]] Holly approaches and asks them what they're doing. After hearing the story, she tells them that while she's impressed with their ambition, if they actually make the tape, they'll be guilty of making and producing child porn. As she turns to go, she runs into Santana and Brittany, who ask her for help.

In the music room, Holly asks Santana and Brittany if they think they're lesbians. Brittany doesn't know, and Santana swears she's bisexual. Also, she once had a [[CargoShip sex dream about a shrub]]. Basically, because Holly gets that they're finding it hard to define their emotions for each other, she suggests that they sing a song. Santana says she knows the perfect song but she needs Holly's help, and Holly agrees.

In Kurt's house, Kurt's trying to be sexy. It isn't working. Basically, he's terrified of his sexuality, and though he's tried to watch porn, it didn't work either. Blaine suggests that they talk it through and Kurt kicks him out.

In the music room, Holly and Will perform a tango to 'Kiss' which turns into a fantasy sequence in the auditorium, which turns into the two of them making out in the music room, in front of the club. Good way to get yourself fired, that.

At Burt's auto shop, Blaine asks Burt to give Kurt The Talk, and Burt agrees.

In the music room, Holly, Brittany and Santana perform 'Landslide'. Santana admits to Brittany that yes, it's how she really feels. Rachel applauds them for exploring the world of lesbian love, and Santana snaps back that one song does not give Rachel the right to put labels on her. Sam tells Artie [[HoYay he wishes]] they could be as close as their girlfriends. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Artie's reaction is priceless]].

The Celibacy Club reconvenes to discover a new member, Puck. Yes, you read me correctly. Quinn and Rachel have a 'WTF?!' moment, and Emma reminds the group that they're performing at Glee. Puck says that he's happy to perform as long as they get another male member. No, there was not a DoubleEntendre in that last sentence. Emma's got it covered.

In the auditorium, the Celibacy Club and Emma's husband Carl perform 'Afternoon Delight'. Again, yes, you read me correctly. Afterwards, Holly asks why Emma thought it was a good song to sing. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Emma clearly doesn't have a clue]] what it's really about (she thinks "Afternoon Delight" is a dessert), leading Carl to beg Holly for help.

At Kurt's house, Burt basically drags him in, kicking and screaming, so they can have the Talk. After giving Kurt some pamphlets to explain the technical matters, Burt tells him, in essence, that people become very different when they have sex, and Kurt shouldn't throw himself around or give himself away like he doesn't matter, because he matters.

Holly gives Carl and Emma a counseling session and sums it up by asking Emma if she's still in love with Will. Emma doesn't say anything, and everyone takes it as a yes. She then grudgingly admits she's confused about her feelings. Carl tells Emma that she's got the house to herself because he's going to sleep in a hotel until she's sorted things out. Emma begs Holly to not tell Will, and Holly agrees.

In the hallway, Santana confesses to Brittany that she's a bitch because she's angry, and she's angry because she's in love with Brittany, but she's too scared to be with Brittany because of what happened to Kurt. [[AnguishedDeclarationOfLove She breaks down and admits that she loves Brittany]], not any of the boys, and she just wants Brittany. But Brittany loves Artie, and she's not going to leave him because it would be wrong. Santana gets very, very upset.

[[AbuseIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale Lauren gets mad]] at Puck for joining the Celibacy Club, but he explains that he's trying to take responsibility for his actions. [[BigDamnKiss This turns her on]], and she agrees to join too.

The Celibacy Club has expanded to everyone in New Directions minus Finn, Mercedes, Mike and Tina. Quinn has a flashback to one of the many times she's been screwing Finn. Not surprised in the least, honestly.

In the auditorium, Will's teaching the club some new dance moves when Holly walks in and tells Will that she's leaving to go sub at another school, because her cucumber lesson did not receive much good feedback, to say the least. She asks him to be with her, he agrees, and the episode ends.

In the music room, Holly, Brittany and Santana perform 'Landslide'. Santana admits to Brittany that yes, it's how she really feels. Rachel applauds them for exploring the world of lesbian love, and Santana snaps back that one song does not give Rachel the right to put labels on her. Sam tells Artie [[HoYay he wishes]] they could be as close as their girlfriends. [[CrowninMomentOfFunny Artie's reaction is priceless]].

* "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band, performed by Puck, Carl, Emma, Quinn and Rachel

Santana's room, post-Brittana sex. They have a talk in which Santana reminds Brittany that they're not cheating because [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex the plumbing's different]], and Brittany says that she's not sure how she feels about them as a couple. Brittany wants to talk to an adult about their relationship.

In the music room, Holly asks Santana and Brittany if they think they're lesbians. Brittany doesn't know, and Santana swears she's bisexual. Basically, because Holly gets that they're finding it hard to define their emotions for each other, she suggests that they sing a song. Santana says she knows the perfect song but she needs Holly's help, and Holly agrees.

In the music room, Holly, Brittany and Santana perform 'Landslide'. Santana admits to Brittany that yes, it's how she really feels. Rachel applauds them for exploring the world of lesbian love, and Santana snaps back that one song does not give Rachel the right to put labels on her.

In the auditorium, the Celibacy Club and Emma's husband Carl perform 'Afternoon Delight'. Again, yes, you read me correctly. Afterwards, Holly asks why Emma thought it was a good song to sing. Emma clearly doesn't have a clue what it's really about, leading Carl to beg Holly for help.

Holly gives Carl and Emma a counseling session and sums it up by asking Emma if she's still in love with Will. Emma doesn't say anything, and everyone takes it as a yes. Carl tells Emma that she's got the house to herself because he's going to sleep in a hotel until she's sorted things out. Emma begs Holly to not tell Will, and Holly agrees.

In the hallway, Santana confesses to Brittany that she's a bitch because she's angry, and she's angry because she's in love with Brittany, but she's too scared to be with Brittany because of what happened to Kurt. She breaks down and admits that she loves Brittany, not any of the boys, and she just wants Brittany. But Brittany loves Artie, and she's not going to leave him because it would be wrong. Santana gets very, very upset.

Lauren gets mad at Puck for joining the Celibacy Club, but he explains that he's trying to take responsibility for his actions, and she agrees to join too.

* "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)" by Gary Glitter, performed by Holly Holliday

Flashback to that morning's sex ed lesson. Holly tells the kids about the uses of a condom before holding up a cucumber to teach them how to use one. Finn asks if cucumbers can give you AIDS (oh, for God's sake) and Mercedes gets freaked out because she had one on her salad.

In the hallway, Santana propositions Brittany, who would be only too happy to have sex with her, but she's not feeling very sexy, because she thinks she's pregnant. Oh God, wasn't one dumb blonde teenage pregnant cheerleader enough? Brittany asks her not to tell anyone. Santana immediately tells Tina, who screams 'Brittany's pregnant!' loud enough to be heard by Puck, who tells Lauren, who tells Artie.
In the music room, everyone's trying to console poor Artie. Brittany apologises for keeping Artie in the dark and finally explains that a stork built its nest on her garage, so it's ''obviously'' getting ready to bring Brittany her baby. [[FacePalm *thud* *thud* *thud*]]

In the music room, Holly begins her lesson by asking the club about their misconceptions on sex, tells them that they're going to learn the truth about sex whether they like it or not, and performs 'Do You Wanna Touch Me'.

* "Kiss" by the artist who used to be and probably still is known as Prince, performed by Will and Holly

* "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band, performed by Puck, Carl, Emma, Quinn and Rachel
* "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, performed by Holly, Santana and Brittany

Santana's room, post-Brittana sex. They have a talk in which Santana reminds Brittany that they're not cheating because [[YouFailSexEdForever the plumbing's different]], and Brittany says that she's not sure how she feels about them as a couple. Brittany wants to talk to an adult about their relationship.