Follow TV Tropes

Following

History Quotes / OnlyFoolsAndHorses

Go To

OR

Added: 4

Changed: 58

Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


''Uncle Albert (just before they start a formal dinner):'' I've made the coffee.\\
''Derek Trotter:'' What do you mean 'You've made the coffee'? It's too early.\\
''Albert:'' Well, it don't take us that long to finish our dinner.\\
''Derek:'' I know that, but we're not wolfing down a Big Mac 'n' Chips, are we. We're savouring the food, we're taking our time, and we're talking between mouthfuls. All right, don't worry. I'll bung [the coffee] in the microwave. ''(sniffs the coffee)'' Hold on. Which coffee did you make this with?\\
''Albert (gesturing):'' That jar over there.\\
''Del (taking a couple more sniffs):'' This isn't coffee, it's [[PrecisionFStrike bloody]] ''gravy!''\\
''Albert:'' Well, it's not my fault, it's them jars. ''(grabs two identical jars)'' How am I supposed to tell which is which?\\
''Del (annoyed):'' I'll tell you. This one says Maxwell House Coffee, and this one says Oxo Gravy Granules. It doesn't take a mind like Sherlock Holmes to work it out.\\
''Albert (panicking):'' Well, I was in a rush and I got mixed up.\\
''Del (threatening):'' I'll mix you up. ''[beat]'' Wait a minute. If you made gravy in the coffee machine, [[OhCrap what are they pouring over their dinners?]]

to:

''Uncle Albert (just ->'''Uncle Albert:''' ''(just before they start a formal dinner):'' dinner)'' I've made the coffee.\\
''Derek Trotter:'' '''Derek Trotter:''' What do you mean 'You've made the coffee'? It's too early.\\
''Albert:'' '''Albert:''' Well, it don't take us that long to finish our dinner.\\
''Derek:'' '''Derek:''' I know that, but we're not wolfing down a Big Mac 'n' Chips, are we. We're savouring the food, we're taking our time, and we're talking between mouthfuls. All right, don't worry. I'll bung [the coffee] in the microwave. ''(sniffs the coffee)'' Hold on. Which coffee did you make this with?\\
''Albert (gesturing):'' '''Albert:''' ''(gesturing)'' That jar over there.\\
''Del (taking '''Del:''' ''(taking a couple more sniffs):'' sniffs)'' This isn't coffee, it's [[PrecisionFStrike bloody]] ''gravy!''\\
''Albert:'' '''Albert:''' Well, it's not my fault, it's them jars. ''(grabs two identical jars)'' How am I supposed to tell which is which?\\
''Del (annoyed):'' '''Del:''' ''(annoyed)'' I'll tell you. This one says Maxwell House Coffee, and this one says Oxo Gravy Granules. It doesn't take a mind like Sherlock Holmes to work it out.\\
''Albert (panicking):'' '''Albert:''' ''(panicking)'' Well, I was in a rush and I got mixed up.\\
''Del (threatening):'' '''Del:''' ''(threatening)'' I'll mix you up. ''[beat]'' Wait a minute. If you made gravy in the coffee machine, [[OhCrap what are they pouring over their dinners?]]dinners?]]
----
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
iconic uncle albert moment

Added DiffLines:

''Uncle Albert (just before they start a formal dinner):'' I've made the coffee.\\
''Derek Trotter:'' What do you mean 'You've made the coffee'? It's too early.\\
''Albert:'' Well, it don't take us that long to finish our dinner.\\
''Derek:'' I know that, but we're not wolfing down a Big Mac 'n' Chips, are we. We're savouring the food, we're taking our time, and we're talking between mouthfuls. All right, don't worry. I'll bung [the coffee] in the microwave. ''(sniffs the coffee)'' Hold on. Which coffee did you make this with?\\
''Albert (gesturing):'' That jar over there.\\
''Del (taking a couple more sniffs):'' This isn't coffee, it's [[PrecisionFStrike bloody]] ''gravy!''\\
''Albert:'' Well, it's not my fault, it's them jars. ''(grabs two identical jars)'' How am I supposed to tell which is which?\\
''Del (annoyed):'' I'll tell you. This one says Maxwell House Coffee, and this one says Oxo Gravy Granules. It doesn't take a mind like Sherlock Holmes to work it out.\\
''Albert (panicking):'' Well, I was in a rush and I got mixed up.\\
''Del (threatening):'' I'll mix you up. ''[beat]'' Wait a minute. If you made gravy in the coffee machine, [[OhCrap what are they pouring over their dinners?]]

Top