History Quotes / HumansAreMorons

->'''Londo''': Well, Captain, you will forgive me if I appear a bit slow; I have studied your race quite a bit, and there are still several aspects of your psychology I don't understand: A place called Winchester Mansion with stairs that go nowhere? Something called "country" and "western"? And the less said about the comedy team of Rebo & Zooty the better--\\

!!!Fiction
->''"The higher that the monkey can climb\\
The more he shows his tail"''
-->--'''Music/TomWaits''', "Misery Is The River Of The World" - ''Music/BloodMoney''.

->''"It was very simple. Only stupid Earth brains like yours would have been fooled."''
-->-- '''Cyberman''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS4E6TheMoonbase "The Moonbase"]]

->''"What do you all have for brains? Pudding? Look at you. Why can't I get a decent species? Planet of the ''pudding-brains!''"''
-->--'''Twelfth Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'' ("Deep Breath")

->''"I'd all but given up my crusade to rid the world of fools... There are, I found, just too many!"''
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Foolkiller}}''', ''[[Franchise/SpiderMan The Amazing Spider-Man]]'', #225

->''Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'cause there's [[NoIntelligentLifeHere bugger all down here on Earth]].''
-->-- "The Galaxy Song", ''Film/MontyPythonsTheMeaningOfLife''

->'''Alien 1:''' So this is he -- [[RonaldReagan The Reagan]]? [[PunyEarthlings A puny specimen]], even for a human. Just like [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters the defilers]] to worship such a one! Do you suppose [[HumansAreUgly ugliness is a virtue to them]]?\\
'''Alien 2:''' [[HumansAreMorons Or stupidity]]? Have you ever seen eyes so vacant?
-->-- Aliens commenting on RonaldReagan, ''ComicBook/StrontiumDog''

->'''Council Woman:''' Are they intelligent?\\
'''Peakley:''' No, but very delicate... We are talking about ''extremely simple creatures'' here, Miss. Landing there would cause mass mayhem and planet-wide panic!
-->-- ''Disney/LiloAndStitch''

->''"Because all you of Earth are '''idiots!'''"''
-->-- '''Eros''', ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace''

!!!RealLife

->''"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."''
-->-- '''Creator/DouglasAdams'''

->''"Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are ''even stupider!''"''
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

->''“Each of us is full of shit in our [[AchievementsInIgnorance own special way.]] We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.”''
-->--'''Creator/LewisBlack''', ''Me of Little Faith''

->''"As the vampire Kain, the only way in which you are capable of interacting with ''Blood Omen''[='s=] human cast by is killing them. This changes when you acquire the Disguise ability, which transforms Kain's sprite into that of [[InTheHood a hooded peasant]] and allows you to solicit voiced audio clips from neutral [=NPCs=]. This is only interesting for about ten minutes; you soon discover that the human race [[WelcomeToCorneria hasn't a single god damned thing worth saying]]. All Nosgoth's menfolk talk like oafish cockneys -- "good day to ya!" -- and the entire female population consists of drunken prostitutes. The vampire Vorador pointedly refers to Nosgoth's human population as 'the cattle;' the opening to ''Soul Reaver'' alludes to Kain's contempt for humanity. After chatting with ''Blood Omen''[='s=] townsfolk for any length of time, it is [[FridgeBrilliance not difficult to see from where such sentiments might have arisen.]]"''
-->--'''[[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=bo Pat R.]]''' on ''VideoGame/LegacyOfKain: Blood Omen''

->''"Subway is a cosmic nexus of stupidity."''
-->-- A thread title at the Customers Suck forums.

->''"People ask me, 'Brother Hovind, do you think that there's intelligent life on other planets?' I reply, 'No, [[MemeticMutation I taught high school science for 15 years.]] [[NoIntelligentLifeHere I don't even think there's much intelligent life on this planet.']]"''
-->-- '''[[HypocriticalHumor Kent Hovind]]'''

->''"Common sense is a sense which is not common to people."''
-->-- Website/YouTube comment

->''"Peter Popoff ''[is]'' a notorious, alleged [[CorruptChurch faith healer and televangelist prophet]]. He was famously exposed in 1987 by James Randi who uncovered that he was being informed of believers’ illnesses through a radio receiver in his ear broadcast to him by his staff, based on conversations they had before the service (Popoff had of course led people to believe he was getting messages about their illnesses [[PhonyPsychic directly from God]]). The scandal did drive him into bankruptcy back then, but didn’t stop him from returning to the airwaves more recently to to fleece a new flock who may not be aware of the scandal.\\\
His current scheme is the typical Prosperity Gospel or “pyramid scheme for Jesus” approach: By giving Popoff money you will make God give you ten times as much money back. He is usually seen on late night infomercials where you can call in and order his special package that includes magic salt and water that you sprinkle over your check, a prayer cloth, and anointing oil. He has reportedly made over $23 million dollars on this scheme.\\\
His newsletters to his fans read mostly as a mixture of spam and cheap conspiracy theories and ''“I’m going to tell you something, but you must promise to keep it quiet. You have to understand that the ‘elite’; would not be at all happy with me if they knew what I was about to tell you. That’s why we have to tread carefully. You see, while most people are paying attention to the stock market, the banks, brokerages and big institutions have their money somewhere else... what I call the [[GrowsOnTrees hidden money mountain]]... All you have to know is the insider’s code (which I’ll tell you) and you could make an extra $6,000 every single month.”\\\
'''Diagnosis:''' ''A living, breathing monument to human naivety and lack of critical thinking skills. Few items around today augur a bleaker future for humanity than the continued media presence of Peter Popoff.''
-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2014/05/1036-peter-popoff.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'', "OK, this one might be too easy"

->''"It's highly unusual for two Borth parents to conceive and deliver an Earthling child. We don't like Earthlings here. They have trouble calculating pi to a thousand decimal places and chewing gum at the same time."''
-->--'''Anonymous technician''', ''VideoGame/SpaceQuestVTheNextMutation'' manual

->''It's highly unusual for two Borth parents to conceive and deliver an Earthling child. We don't like Earthlings here. They have trouble calculating pi to a thousand decimal places and chewing gum at the same time.''

His newsletters to his fans read mostly as a mixture of spam and cheap conspiracy theories and ''“I’m going to tell you something, but you must promise to keep it quiet. You have to understand that the ‘elite’; would not be at all happy with me if they knew what I was about to tell you. That’s why we have to tread carefully. You see, while most people are paying attention to the stock market, the banks, brokerages and big institutions have their money somewhere else... what I call the [[GrowsOnTrees hidden money mountain]]... All you have to know is the insider’s code (which I’ll tell you) and you could make an extra $6,000 every single month.”''\\\
'''Diagnosis:''' A living, breathing monument to human naivety and lack of critical thinking skills. Few items around today augur a bleaker future for humanity than the continued media presence of Peter Popoff.

->''"Peter Popoff ''[is]'' a notorious, alleged [[CorruptChurch faith healer and televangelist prophet]]. He was famously exposed in 1987 by James Randi (videos here) who uncovered that he was being informed of believers’ illnesses through a radio receiver in his ear broadcast to him by his staff, based on conversations they had before the service (Popoff had of course led people to believe he was getting messages about their illnesses [[PhonyPsychic directly from God]]). The scandal did drive him into bankruptcy back then, but didn’t stop him from returning to the airwaves more recently to to fleece a new flock who may not be aware of the scandal.\\\

->''" Peter Popoff is in any case a notorious, alleged [[CorruptChurch faith healer and televangelist prophet]]. He was famously exposed in 1987 by James Randi (videos here) who uncovered that he was being informed of believers’ illnesses through a radio receiver in his ear broadcast to him by his staff, based on conversations they had before the service (Popoff had of course led people to believe he was getting messages about their illnesses [[PhonyPsychic directly from God]]). The scandal did drive him into bankruptcy back then, but didn’t stop him from returning to the airwaves more recently to to fleece a new flock who may not be aware of the scandal.\\\

-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2014/05/1036-peter-popoff.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]''

-->--'''Bertrand Russell'''

->''"What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There's no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told -- and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion."''
-->--'''Ian Malcolm,''' ''Literature/TheLostWorld1995''

->''"What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There's no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told -- and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their 'beliefs.' The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion."''
-->--'''Ian Malcolm,''' ''Literature/TheLostWorld''

-->--'''TomWaits''', "Misery Is The River Of The World" - ''Music/BloodMoney''.

-->--'''TomWaits''', "Misery Is The River Of The World"

-->--'''LewisBlack''', ''Me of Little Faith''

->''"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."''
-->-- '''Creator/HarlanEllison'''

->''"It was very simple. Only stupid Earth brains like yours would have been fooled."''
-->-- '''Cyberman''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS4E6TheMoonbase "The Moonbase"]]

->''"Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."''
-->-- '''Calvin''', ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

->''"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."''
-->-- '''Creator/DouglasAdams'''

->''"Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"''

->''"Stupidity is [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters evil]] waiting to happen."''
-->-- '''Clay Bond'''

-->--'''Rick Riordan''', ''Literature/TheLightningThief''

->''"As the vampire Kain, the only way in which you are capable of interacting with ''Blood Omen''[='s=] human cast by is killing them. This changes when you acquire the Disguise ability, which transforms Kain's sprite into that of [[InTheHood a hooded peasant]] and allows you to solicit voiced audio clips from neutral [=NPCs=]. This is only interesting for about ten minutes; you soon discover that the human race [[WelcomeToCorneria hasn't a single god damned thing worth saying]]. All Nosgoth's menfolk talk like oafish cockneys -- "good day to ya!" -- and the entire female population consists of drunken prostitutes. The vampire Vorador pointedly refers to Nosgoth's human population as "the cattle;" the opening to ''Soul Reaver'' alludes to Kain's contempt for humanity. After chatting with ''Blood Omen''[='s=] townsfolk for any length of time, it is [[FridgeBrilliance not difficult to see from where such sentiments might have arisen.]]"''\\
--'''[[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=bo Pat R.]]''' on ''VideoGame/LegacyOfKain: Blood Omen''

->''"People ask me, 'Brother Hovind, do you think that there's intelligent life on other planets?' I reply, [[NoIntelligentLifeHere 'No, [[MemeticMutation I taught high school science for 15 years.]] I don't even think there's much intelligent life on this planet.']]"''

->''"People ask me, 'Brother Hovind, do you think that there's intelligent life on other planets?' I reply, [[NoIntelligentLifeHere 'No, I don't even think there's intelligent life on this planet.']]"''

->''"People ask me, 'Kent, do you think that there's intelligent life on other planets?' I reply, [[NoIntelligentLifeHere 'No, I don't even think there's intelligent life on this planet.']]"''