History Quotes / HorribleHollywood

->You'll always meet this one guy out in L.A, this real smarmy guy. He always says this: ''"Yeah, I love calling back east January 1. 'What are all you doin'? Snowed in, huh? Bummer. Me?'' I'M OUT BY THE POOL!! '''''BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!'''''[='=]"'' What a ''dick'' this guy is.

->You'll always meet this one guy out in L.A, this real smarmy guy. He always says this: ''"Yeah, I love calling back east January 1. 'What are all you doin'? Snowed in, huh? Bummer. Me? I'M OUT BY THE POOL!! '''''BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!'''''[='=]"'' What a ''dick'' this guy is.

[[folder:music]]

[[folder:films - live action]]
->'''Celeste:''' [accepting an award] Oh, there's so many people to thank! First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...\\
'''Ariel:''' (Bitch!)\\
'''David:''' (Hag!)\\
'''Montana:''': (I hate her so much!)
-->--''Film/{{Soapdish}}''

->Because ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey is a sex movie,'' Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have routinely been asked about sex. Because Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan seem to dislike at least this ''specific'' sort of sex ([[HollywoodSex fake sex]], with [[TroubledProduction a person they hate]], in a movie they made for [[CreatorBacklash a job they regret]]), they routinely display discomfort (ranging from wide-eyed confusion to intense aversion) when talking about sex, in general.

Well, once they did\\
But listen kids\\

!!!Fiction

!!!Creators

->You must remember one thing about Hollywood. Even if ''Ishtar'' is a big bomb, Warren, Dustin, Elaine, and I will all work again … only next time [[KarmaHoudini at a higher fee!]]
-->--'''Paul Williams''', composer for ''{{Film/Ishtar}}''

!!!Others

->...there's a strange dichotomy of encouraging us to be fiscally responsible, but then upper management allows [[Creator/AdamSandler certain talent and filmmakers]] to bleed us dry with their outlandish requests for [[ThePrimaDonna private jets, wardrobe and grooming stylists]] - and are surprised when they are asked to work more than 5 hours to promote their film.
-->--[[http://gawker.com/sony-hack-reveals-25-page-list-of-reasons-it-sucks-to-w-1666264634 Anonymous]] employee at Sony Entertainment

->Everything I’ve heard about Hollywood has never been good. You know, they make these movies, they’re supposed to make you feel really good, and make you escape the pains of your real life, but when you go to Hollywood, the pain is there. It’s always there and Hollywood never lets you forget that.
-->-- '''Donnie [=DuPre=]''', ''WebVideo/DemoReel''

->Because ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey is a sex movie,'' Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have routinely been asked about sex. Because Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan seem to dislike at least this ''specific'' sort of sex ([[HollywoodSex fake sex]], with [[InformedAttractiveness a person they hate]], in a movie they made for [[CreatorBacklash a job they regret]]), they routinely display discomfort (ranging from wide-eyed confusion to intense aversion) when talking about sex, in general.

->Other ''Titanic'' films always had their limitations...but [[Creator/JamesCameron Cameron]] set out to make somethin'a little more ''epic'': usin' non-union Mexican slave labor, he built a near-size replica of the ship in a new studio FOX made for the movie. It was in Baja, Mexico. Great care was taken at every step in the process by documentary crews not to show the Mexicans hand-carving the deck hairs for a dollar a day--[-oh shit. Can we cut that out? Can you take that out?-]
-->--'''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''' on ''Film/{{Titanic}}''

->''"The usual crowd. The traveling compliment show. Everyone thrilled with everyone's success; positively orgasmic at anyone's failure. Envy so thick, you can cut it with the knife lodged in every other back. The script's going along pretty well. Some interesting changes I sort of like. At any rate, Buddy does, therefore, I do."''

->''"It's about two percent movie-making and ninety-eight percent hustling. It's no way to spend a life."''

->''"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. [[FromBadToWorse There's also a negative side.]]"''

->''"I can't even go to the movies; when I'm there I think about the fact that I have to learn my lines when I get home. And if I go to a late movie, I fall asleep. It's a real thrilling life, I tell you...I've spent many times driving home from my auditions crying, because I put everything into it and the person I auditioned for was eating salad and talking on the phone while I was reading for them."''
-->--'''Sarah Buxton'''

->''"Having lived in Los Angeles for nearly three months, I can assure you that [[http://joshreads.com/images/14/11/i141124spidey.jpg panel two’s]] depiction of a Hollywood producer is 100% accurate."''

->''"James Garner's marvelous detective series ''Series/TheRockfordFiles'' (1974-1980) met a sudden and ignominious end twelve episodes into its sixth season. The series had been moderately successful during its network run on NBC, but a huge hit in syndication, grossing some $52 million by mid-1979. Nonetheless, the studio producing the series, {{Creator/Universal}}, in a notorious and flagrant example of 'creative bookkeeping,' insisted the show was actually $9 million dollars in the red, and Garner, who worked hard to kept the series on schedule and on budget, watched helplessly as [[DudeWheresMyReward his profit participation evaporated.]]"''

->'''"When you’re waiting in line at a Taco Bell drive-thru late at night, you pretty much expect to see a plastered, no-tooth-having, crackhead mess wandering around between cars. But in L.A., the drunken Taco Bell drive-thru trolls are famous!"''

->''"...there's a strange dichotomy of encouraging us to be fiscally responsible, but then upper management allows [[Creator/AdamSandler certain talent and filmmakers]] to bleed us dry with their outlandish requests for [[ThePrimaDonna private jets, wardrobe and grooming stylists]] - and are surprised when they are asked to work more than 5 hours to promote their film."''

->''"Now it's Britney Jean's turn to tell us her story. Britney sits down with the camera and says 'DEAR GOD HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN NO LONGER FEEL MYSELF IN MY OWN SKIN. I CAN ONLY SUBMERSE MYSELF DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO MY OWN PAIN. PLEASE SOMEONE, ANYONE SAVE ME FROM THIS.' And then the interviewer says ''[[CassandraTruth hahahhah]] Britney you are the best OMG tell us how you stay so fit, girl!''"''

->''"Everything I’ve heard about Hollywood has never been good. You know, they make these movies, they’re supposed to make you feel really good, and make you escape the pains of your real life, but when you go to Hollywood, the pain is there. It’s always there and Hollywood never lets you forget that."''

->''"Here's what I learned in two years of mostly answering phones, typing reports, making coffee and periodically having to run up to the Oscar-lined executive floors: Entertainment is a fabulous business to go into if you enjoy being a nervous, groveling toady, a petulant tantrum thrower and a crafty manipulator--all at the same time."''

'''Montana:''': I hate her so much!

->'''Angel''': I mean, walking I get. But "Power Walking"? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.
->'''Cordelia''' ''(notices the shiner on Wes, gasps)'' A power walker did that?
->'''Wesley''': Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad by killing it.]]
->'''Cordelia''': This town sucks.

->''"I’ve enjoyed some of the acting I’ve done, ''[[Series/NorthAndSouthUS North And South]]'' and the movie ''The First Great Train Robbery''. But I’ve done a lot of stuff that I didn’t enjoy. Part of that was because of [[CastingCouch all the lecherous men]], studio executives, producers, directors. There was a lot of running away and hiding under tables. They made everything so uncomfortable."''
-->--'''Lesley-Anne Down'''

->'''Angel''': I mean, walking I get. But "Power Walking"? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.\\
'''Cordelia''' ''(notices the shiner on Wes, gasps)'' A power walker did that?\\
'''Wesley''': Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad by killing it.]]\\
'''Cordelia''': This town sucks.

->'''Angel''': I mean, walking I get. But "Power Walking"? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.
->'''Cordelia''' ''(notices the shiner on Wes, gasps)'' A power walker did that?
->'''Wesley''': Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad by killing it.]]
->'''Cordelia''': This town sucks.
-->--''{{Series/Angel}}'', "Belonging"

-->--'''OrsonWelles''', ''The Battle Over CitizenKane''

->''"Here's what I learned in two years of mostly answering phones, typing reports, making coffee and periodically having to run up to the Oscar-line executive floors: Entertainment is a fabulous business to go into if you enjoy being a nervous, groveling toady, a petulant tantrum thrower and a crafty manipulator--all at the same time."''

-->--'''''[[http://jezebel.com/britney-spears-delusional-documentary-is-a-hot-glit-1491497710 Jezebel]]''''', "Music/BritneySpears' Delusional 'Documentary' is a Hot, Glittery Mess"

-->--'''Donnie [=DuPre=]''', ''WebVideo/DemoReel''

->'''When you’re waiting in line at a Taco Bell drive-thru late at night, you pretty much expect to see a plastered, no-tooth-having, crackhead mess wandering around between cars. But in L.A., the drunken Taco Bell drive-thru trolls are famous!"''

->''"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. [[DiscriminateAndSwitch There's also a negative side.]]"''

-->--'''OrsonWelles'', ''The Battle Over CitizenKane''

->''The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. [[FromBadToWorse There's also a negative side.]]''