History Quotes / Bottom

->'''Richie:''' Why can't we ever bloody win anything?\\

->'''Richie:''' What's in this?!\\

->'''Richie:''' (Preparing to haul a passed-out Eddie up the stairs by means of a rope tied to his leg) Well thank you, Lord, for making me such a nice person. Not many of use, ehh? Just me, Jesus, and Mahatma Ghandi. (Fixes rope to ceiling and sings:) "Do your balls hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro? / Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? / Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling? / Oh you'll never be sailor if your balls hang low..." (Yanks Eddie into the bannister, [[GroinAttack crotch first]].)\\

->'''Richie:''' There's a 28 inch surround sound TV with fast text, FST, NICAM and loads of other bollocks that no-one understands that I've had my eye on for a couple of months now. Right, shopping list, shopping list... I'll grab my ballpoint.\\

->'''Eddie:''' (disguised as that bird from the abatoure) Sleep on the sofa? on my honeymoon? My mother warned me about you, you basterd, (proceeds to beat richie) you brute, Oh I've suffered in the name of love! Only women bleed!\\

->'''Richie''' So who is getting married to?\\

->'''Eddie''' Sprouts mexicain?\\

->'''Richie''' Where's that packet of johnnies we used to have?\\
'''Eddie''' We stuck 'em on our heads remember when came round with that sherry.

'''Eddie''' We stuck 'em on our heads remember when came round with that sherry\\

'''Richie''' yes I know they were a bit frisky but the spices'll cover any embarisment.
->'''Richie''' Where's that packet of johnnies we used to have?
'''Eddie''' We stuck 'em on our heads remember when came round with that sherry

'''Richie''' yes I know they were a bit frisky but the spices'll cover any embarisment.

'''Richie''' Yeah they were left over from last christmas (immitates ASDA theme)\\

'''Richie''' yes I know they were a bit frisky but the spices'll cover any embarisment.\\

'''Eddie''' What's that?

'''Richie''' yes I know they were a bit frisky but the spices'll cover any embarisment.

'''Eddie''' No. He getting married to that bird from the abertoure who looks like Ted Rodgers\\

->'''Richie''' So who is getting married to?
'''Eddie''' Well ya know Ted Rodgers
'''Richie''' [[FoeYay He's not marrying Ted Rodgers?]]
'''Eddie''' No. He getting married to that bird from the abertoure who looks like Ted Rodgers

'''Richie:''' [[GroinAttack Get this!]] (kicks eddie in the balls)

'''Richie:''' Get this! (kicks eddie in the balls)

'''Richie:''' Get this! (kicks eddie in the balls)\\

'''Richie:''' (with nosebleed) No I've had plenty! you can have the bed darling.
'''Eddie:''' Why thank you tulip
'''Richie:''' Oh and er daffodil?
'''Eddie:''' Yes carnation?
'''Richie:''' Get this! (kicks eddie in the balls)

'''Eddie:''' Oh -- No time for crap double entendres, Richie, the window of Curry's just blown. They've thrown Asswag through it!

->'''Richie:''' (Preparing to haul a passed-out Eddie up the stairs by means of a rope tied to his leg) Well thank you, Lord, for making me such a nice person. Not many of use, ehh? Just me, Jesus, and Mahatma Ghandi. (Fixes rope to ceiling and sings:) "Do your balls hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro? / Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? / Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling? / Oh you'll never be sailor if your balls hang low..." (Yanks Eddie into the bannister, [[GroinAttack crotch first.)\\

->'''Richie:''' Well thank you lord for making me such a nice person. Not many of use ehh? just me Jesus and Mahatma Ghandi (fixes rope to ceiling and sings) Do you balls hang low? can you swing 'em to and fro? can ya tie in a knot? can you tie em in a bow? do you get a funny feeling when they're habging from the ceiling? or you'll never be sailor if ya balls hang low\\
'''Eddie:''' (catches nuts on banister) Take it easy Selina we've got all night

->'''Richie:''' There's a 28 inch surround sound TV with fast text, FST, NICAM and loads of other bollocks that no-one understands that i've had my eye on for a couple of months now. Right shopping list shopping list I'll grab my ballpoint\\
'''Both:''' [[DoubleEntendre ooh err!]]\\
'''Eddie:''' No time for crap doudle entendres curry's window's blown. they've throw Asswag through it!

'''Eddie:''' (catches nuts on banister) Take it easy Selina we've got all night\\

'''Eddie:''' No time for crap doudle entendres curry's window's blown. they've throw Asswag through it!\\

'''Both:''' "[[DoubleEntendre ooh err!]]\\

'''Both:''' "[[Double Entendre ooh err!]]\\

'''Both:''' "[[Double Entendre ooh err!]]

'''Both''' [[Double Entendre ooh err!]]
'''Eddie''' No time for crap doudle entendres curry's window's blown. they've throw Asswag through it!\\

->'''Richie:''' Well thank you lord for making me such a nice person. Not many of use ehh? just me Jesus and Mahatma Ghandi (fixes rope to ceiling and sings) Do you balls hang low? can you swing 'em to and fro? can ya tie in a knot? can you tie em in a bow? do you get a funny feeling when they're habging from the ceiling? or you'll never be sailor if ya balls hang low//
'''Eddie''' (catches nuts on banister) Take it easy Selina we've got all night.

->'''Eddie:''' (as death) How much money have you got in the house?\\
'''Richie:''' Oh none\\
'''Eddie''' What abot the £300 on top of the bathroom cabinet?\\
'''Richie:''' How do you know about that?\\
'''Eddie:''' Look I keep telling you mate i'm death I know everything?\\
'''Richie:''' What even the?\\
'''Eddie:''' Especially that you naughty boy\\

'''Richie:''' What even the?...\\

'''Richie:''' What even the?...
'''Eddie:''' Especially that you naughty boy

'''Richie:''' What event the? ...

->'''Richie:''' What's in this?!
'''Eddie:''' Brandy!
'''Richie:''' Good!
'''Eddie:''' [[GargleBlaster Meths, pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!]]
'''Richie:''' Drambuie?! [[CampGay Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!]]
'''Eddie:''' "[[LeisureSuitLarry Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright! You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?]]
'''Richie:''' *taking a whiff* Jesus! How are you alive?!

->Richie: "What's in this?!"
->Eddie: "Brandy!"
->Richie: "Good!"
->Eddie: "[[GargleBlaster Meths, pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!]]"
->Richie: "Drambuie?! [[CampGay Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!]]"
->Eddie: "[[LeisureSuitLarry Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright! You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?]]"
->Richie: *taking a whiff* Jesus! How are you alive?!
->Eddie: "[[CloudCuckoolander I may very well not be!]]"
-->-- {{Bottom}}, Hole

'''Richie:''' ''(laughs)'' I know you're just trying to cheer me up.