History Main / NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion

'''Tarrant:''' Ooh, not up to your usual standard.

* On ''[[Website/NotAlwaysRight Not Always Related]]'', [[http://notalwaysrelated.com/the-anatomy-of-a-simple-question/29564 this little girl]] asks her mother where she came from. [[spoiler:She was expecting an answer like "St. Louis".]]

--->'''Kamanda Koroma''': send me your phone number?
--->'''James Veitch''': +44 207 774 1000[[note]]phone number of Goldman Sachs, the bank[[/note]]
--->'''Kamanda Koroma''': James Veitch, I am not sure you are real at all. You gave me phone numbers of a Bank which I called and they say that you are not real, that they don't know you. They even advised me to be very careful about you. WHO ARE YOU???????????????
--->'''James Veitch''': How can I prove to you that I am real? How can you prove that you are real? In truth, how can any of us prove that we are real?[[/folder]]

** Iroh then points out that the {{kid hero}}es have hijacked the pirate ship, and the pirates proceed to chase the heroes in Zuko's ship. Zuko runs after them, leaving Iroh to observe: "Maybe it should be a proverb."

-->'''Iroh:'''Are you so busy fighting you cannot see your own ship has set sail?\\

:: :
Iroh then points out that the {{kid hero}}es have hijacked the pirate ship, and the pirates proceed to chase after the heroes in Zuko's ship. Zuko runs after them, leaving Iroh to observe: "Maybe it should be a proverb."

* ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'': Invoked by the smooth-talking Varrick when Asami asks Varrick why he's there. He starts to wax poetics about the nature of the universe, she wants to know why an escaped criminal is eating dinner with the ruler of Zaofu. (It's hard to tell if his tangent is [[CloudCuckoolander sincere]] or [[ObfuscatingStupidity not]].)

* Early in ''Literature/AmericanGods'', Shadow is released form prison and about the fly home and remembers an interaction with a previous cell-mate, which the cellmate asserted had the moral of not pissing off people who work in airports. During a previous parole, the cellmate had planned to fly home to see his sister, but after losing his temper when being informed that his driver's license had expired, ended up (in that order) going on a drunken bender, robbing a gas station to get booze money, being arrested for public urination, and ultimately winding up back in prison with extra time for armed robbery. Shadow, who [[ObfuscatingStupidity is very intelligent despite pretending to be dumb muscle]] questioned whether the moral of the story was that "The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment", but his cellmate insisted the moral was to not piss off people who work in airports.

Holmes sighs. "Watson, you idiot. I deduce that ''someone has stolen our tent."''

* The story about how Che Guevara became Fidel Castro's right hand man goes like this: Che, Castro and a bunch of other people are having a dinner party, and one of them innocently asks Castro what he was doing in Argentina. Cut to five hours later where everybody but Che has left the table and Castro ''is still talking.''

* A short story in ''Literature/{{American Girls|Collection}} Magazine some years back has a woman come to a New Ager tween who people has been mistaking for a KidDetective (ItMakesSenseInContext) saying "I need help finding patience and harmony." The New Ager is delighted that someone actually wants her help in finding enlightenment... until she learns that Patience and Harmony are just the names of the woman's lost cats.

* Commercials for Tombstone brand frozen pizzas usually go something like this: A modern individual is about to be killed in any of a number of far-off settings. The person leading the execution asks the modern individual "What do you want on your tombstone?" The would-be victim responds by [[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8simZ9mut4Q naming off pizza toppings]].

* Commercials for Tombstone brand frozen pizzas usually go something like this: A modern man is about to be killed by a medieval executioner. The executioner asks the regular guy "What would you like on your tombstone?" The would-be victim responds by naming off pizza toppings.

* Commercials for Tombstone brand frozen pizzas usually go something like this: A modern man is about to be killed by a medieval executioner The executioner asks the regular guy "What would you like on your tombstone?" The would-be victim responds by naming off pizza toppings.

* A short story in ''Franchise/{{American Girls|Collection}} Magazine some years back has a woman come to a New Ager tween who people has been mistaking for a KidDetective (ItMakesSenseInContext) saying "I need help finding patience and harmony." The New Ager is delighted that someone actually wants her help in finding enlightenment... until she learns that Patience and Harmony are just the names of the woman's lost cats.

** And one can get to [[CountryMusic Nashville]] by singing through one's nose.

'''John:''' Turn left at Greenland.

** Ed somehow gets out of having his head stuck in a mailbox offscreen.

* In the ''WebVideo/{{Scamalot}}'' episode "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSoXEtFPTfI Toaster]]", James gives a scammer the phone number of a bank when asked to provide his own. This leads to said bank warning the scammer that James may not be real. When the scammer demands that James proves that he is real, James decides to take this as an existential question.
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