History Main / ListOfExperiencesSpeech

* Spitting Image's "I've never met a nice South African" song. In that song, a guy recounts many many near-impossible things that he's seen (a working Yorkshire Miner, Creator/RowanAtkinson paying for lunch, and a close encounter of the twenty-second kind (that's when an alien spaceship [[AssShove disappears up your behind]])) but maintains that he's never met a Nice South African.

* The song "When I See an Elephant Fly" from ''Disney/{{Dumbo}}'' is a parody of this.

* ''Film/SecondhandLions'': Hub at one point grabs a hotheaded youth by the throat and tells him who he is and what he's done, including seeing the headwaters of the Nile and tribes of natives no white man had seen before.

-->''Saw a lava lake near the core, Kratos from VideoGame/GodOfWar, mushroom spore, liquor store, statue of [[Literature/HarryPotter Dumbledore]]...''

* Roy Batty's speech in ''Film/BladeRunner''.

-->In this life I've seen everything I can see woman

* The song "When I See an Elephant Fly" from ''Film/{{Dumbo}}'' is a parody of this.

--->[[Literature/TheLostWorld With Lord John Roxton I sought a lost world,]]\\

[[Franchise/CthulhuMythos Mr. Peaslee and I explored ancient halls,]]\\
But [[Creator/LucBesson Mad'moiselle Blanc-Sec]] won't return my calls.\\

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[[AC:ComicBooks]]
* ''ComicBook/{{Watchmen}}''. Doctor Manhattan combines this with TheReasonYouSuckSpeech:
-->I've walked across the Sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at ''all'', but ''you''... you are a ''man''. And this world's ''smartest'' man means no more to me than does its smartest ''termite''.

[[AC:{{Film}}]]
* Roy Batty's speech in ''Film/BladeRunner''.
--> "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
* Alan gives a much nastier list of experiences in ''Film/{{Jumanji}}'' when he explains exactly what Judy and Peter are getting themselves into.
-->You think that mosquitoes, monkeys, and lions are bad? That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God you aren't dessert. Afraid? You don't know what afraid is. You will not last five minutes without me."
* Notably subverted in ''Film/TheGhostAndTheDarkness'', where GreatWhiteHunter Remington has a quote about how time steals away many of the memories that would otherwise be part of one of these speeches.
-->So many things flash by and at that moment you say "Oh yeah, this is gonna stay with me. Surely. I will never forget this dawn. This hunt. This passion." And then... it's all gone.
* ''Film/SecondhandLions'': Hub at one point grabs a hotheaded youth by the throat and tells him who he is and what he's done, including seeing the headwaters of the Nile and tribes of natives no white man had seen before.
* Han Solo gives one of these to young Luke Skywalker in ''Film/StarWarsANewHope'', poo-pooing the concept of The Force: "Kid, I've flown from one end of this galaxy to the other. Seen a lot of strange stuff. But I've never seen anything to make me believe there's some all-powerful force controlling ''everything''. No mystical energy field controls ''my'' destiny." This speech neatly gauges how cynical and faithless Han Solo is at that point.
* ''Film/GoodWillHunting'' has a speech like this except Maguire is using the speech to show Will that he isn't as smart as he thinks he is. Will has been arrogantly frustrating one therapist after another but Maguire tells him that all he has is book knowledge. "But you've never been inside the Sistine Chapel and smelled the mortar."

[[AC:{{Literature}}]]

[[AC:LiveActionTV]]
* Parodied in Manny's speech in ''Series/BlackBooks''.
-->Now look, you have given me everything that money can buy. Yes, I've slept on satin sheets, I've eaten crinkle-cut chips from a silver bowl, I've been driven all over town in minicabs. But there are some things that money can't buy.
* Overlaps with BadassBoast in ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E7TheRingsOfAkhaten "The Rings of Akhaten"]], when the Doctor attempts to cause a PhlebotinumOverload in a god that eats memories:

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* Charlene's "I've Never Been To Me"

[[AC:{{Poetry}}]]
* Part of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's poem "Ulysses" is this trope. The title character (also known as Odysseus) describes his adventures.

[[AC:TabletopGames]]

[[AC:{{Theatre}}]]
* In a children's theater musical production of Creator/OHenry's ''Literature/TheRansomOfRedChief'' Sam & Bill lure Red Chief away from home by telling him of all the adventures they've had and places they've seen, saying that if he joins them he'll have similar adventures.

[[AC:VideoGames]]
* VideoGame/{{Starcraft}}: Zeratul to Aldaris, who's getting uppity with him:
-->You speak of knowledge, Judicator? You speak of experience? I have journeyed through the darkness between the most distant stars. I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities... Unto my experience, Aldaris, all that you've built here on Aiur is but a fleeting dream. A dream from which your precious Conclave shall awaken, finding themselves drowned in a greater nightmare.

[[AC: Webcomics]]
* In ''Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor'', Quentyn, Son of Quinn has listed his experiences at least twice as a BadassBoast, and TheReasonYouSuckSpeech in the first case.
** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0311/ First time]], to a gangbanger who threatened him after being arrested thanks to Quentyn.
--->''I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half your big, bad gang, jackass.''
** The [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0598/ second time]] he's added slaying a Swamp Kraken and surviving TheWildHunt to his list.

[[AC:WebVideo]]
* In season 6 of ''WebVideo/AcquisitionsIncorporated'', Creator/WilWheaton's character discovers that the giant demonic statue he's hiding under has a hole at its rear end that leads into its stony bowels. While understandably reluctant to explore it further at first, nudging from other players and the audience forces him to reconsider and climb inside. Before that, however, he lists all the famous ''[[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons D&D]]'' adventures he played (including ''Against the Giants'', ''TabletopGame/TempleOfElementalEvil'', and even the ''TabletopGame/TombOfHorrors''), before concluding that he [[ARareSentence never had to say following words before]]: "I will climb up the asshole."

[[AC:WesternAnimation]]
* PlayedForLaughs in ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', where after opening up his own restaurant, Peter laments that he hopes he doesn't have one of those handicapped [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar Vietnam vets]] who's missing both legs come into his store, before seeing one enter and acknowledging it happening.

* {{Starcraft}}: Zeratul to Aldaris, who's getting uppity with him:

!!!Examples

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht\\

* Spitting Image's "I've never met a nice South African" song. In that song, a guy recounts many many near-impossible things that he's seen (Working Yorkshire Miner, Rowan Atkinson paying for lunch...) but maintains that he's never met a Nice South African.

-->'''The Doctor:''' I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time. No space. Just me! I've walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a MAD MAN. I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I have seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you'll never understand! And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods BLAZE!

* As part of a BadAssBoast.

--> '''Col. Danning:''' Princess, I've seen a lot over the years, the crystal rivers of Erridel, the blue volcanoes of Kashtorr Rama, even the Starfires of Grablax Six. ''(grabs her)'' None of it compares to you. ''(kisses her)''
--> ''(somebody's cell phone rings)''
--> '''Director:''' CUT!

--> Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
--> I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
--> I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
--> I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

--> I mean, I've seen the world
--> I've been around
--> I could tell you stories
--> That would quite astound you
--> I'm not a fool!
--> I went to school!
--> I've been from Liverpool to Istanbul, Istanbul.
--> I'm no fool!
--> And anyone will tell you
--> That I'm sharper than a knife,
--> But I've never seen anything like it in my life!
--> Well, I've never seen anything like it!
--> Never seen anything like it!
--> I've never seen anything like it in my life!

-->I've seen a rich man beg
--> I've seen a good man sin
--> I've seen a tough man cry
--> I've seen a loser win
--> And a sad man grin
--> I heard an honest man lie

-->With Sherpas who work herds and use a fresh fountain
-->I've discerned brews from Peruvian mountains
-->...
-->I've slurped up a cuppa from an elephant's trunk
-->With a couple of monks who utterly stunk
-->I've had bourbons with sultans and creams with queens
-->And I've bathed in Earl Grey--I'm really that keen!
-->...
-->I've been around the world in eighty brews,
-->To see the place it takes me to
-->To make a brew that tastes like the
-->Cream cakes made by angels do

--> [[Literature/TheLostWorld With Lord John Roxton I sought a lost world,]]
--> [[Literature/TheSpaceTrilogy And I left on Malacandra my flag unfurled;]]
--> [[Franchise/CthulhuMythos Mr. Peaslee and I explored ancient halls,]]
--> But [[Creator/LucBesson Mad'moiselle Blanc-Sec]] won't return my calls.

---> I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes,
---> I've seen things, they're often in disguise, like
---> Carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets,
---> Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings,
---> Poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur,
---> Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!

---> I've seen fire and I've seen rain
---> I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
---> I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
---> But I always thought that I'd see you again.

-->All times I have enjoy'd
-->Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
-->That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when
-->Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
-->Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
-->For always roaming with a hungry heart
-->Much have I seen and known; cities of men
-->And manners, climates, councils, governments,
-->Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;
-->And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
-->Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.

-->Through the travail of the ages,
-->Midst the pomp and toil of war,
-->I have fought and strove and perished
-->Countless times upon this star.
-->[snip many stanzas about his combat adventures]
-->So as through a glass, and darkly
-->The age long strife I see
-->Where I fought in many guises,
-->Many names, but always me.

--> You speak of knowledge, Judicator? You speak of experience? I have journeyed through the darkness between the most distant stars. I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities... Unto my experience, Aldaris, all that you've built here on Aiur is but a fleeting dream. A dream from which your precious Conclave shall awaken, finding themselves drowned in a greater nightmare.

--> ''I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half your big, bad gang, jackass.''

* ''Film/GoodWillHunting'' has a speech like this except Maguire is using the speech to show Will that he isn't as smart as he thinks he is. Will has been arrogantly frustrating one therapist after another but Maguire tells him that all he has is book knowledge. "But you've never been inside the Cistine Chapel and smelled the mortar."

* Overlaps with BadassBoast in ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E07TheRingsOfAkhaten The Rings of Akhaten]]", when the Doctor attempts to cause a PhlebotinumOverload in a god that eats memories:
-->I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time. No space. Just me! I've walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a MAD MAN. I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I have seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you'll never understand! And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods BLAZE!

* Inverted with Creator/DrSeuss' ''Oh, the Places You'll Go!''. '''ZCE'''

* the circus song in DrDolittle

* Inverted with WesternAnimation/VeggieTales' "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything," in which the pirates sing about the things they haven't done (because they don't do anything).

* Creator/JohnnyCash's song "I've Been Everywhere" starts as SeenItAll and then turns into this as he lists out all the places he's ever been.

* PlayedForLaughs in ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', where after opening up his own restaurant, Peter laments that he hopes he doesn't have one of those handicapped Vietnam vets who's missing both legs come into his store, before seeing one enter and acknowledging it happening.
-->'''Wheelchair-bound Vietnam Vet:''' I've seen some things man, and did some stuff. I wouldn't recommend it!