History Funny / XWingSeries

** "You have just been bested by Dinner Squadron!" "And Silly Squadron!" "Consider yourselves humiliated. And welcome to Folor. Out."
** "Thank you, thank you. Performances every hour, on the hour. Imperial madmen a speciality."

'''Jesmin''': Keep it together, Four. any noises?\\

'''Trey''': Or as soon as [[PottyFailure I disgrace myself]].

---> '''Turman''': "A pool. a waterfall. An acid bath! Sandpaper! ''Get me clean!''"

'''Trey''': Conversation. I can't make out the words, but it's getting more urgent [{{Beat}}] [[PottyEmergency I]] ''[[PottyEmergency understand]]'' [[PottyEmergency that urgency.]]\\

---> '''Voort''': You're working with a Yuuzhan Vong.
---> '''Bhindi''': And a Clawdite and a Gamorrean and several humans, and, worst of all, a Corellian.
---> '''Myri''': Cheap shot.

** Kirney want's Piggy to understand very clearly that under absolutely no circumstances is he to recruit her children.
** Turman's reaction to ''FINALLY'' getting out of a decomposing, organically grown, full body lobster costume he'd had to inhabit for several days.

** Turman's reaction to ''FINALLY'' getting out of a decomposing, organically grown, full body lobster costume he'd had to inhabit for several days.

** Turman's reaction to ''FINALLY'' getting out of a decomposing, organically grown, lobster costume.

** Kirney want's Piggy to understand very clearly that under absolutely no circumstances is he to recruit her children.

**** (Mind you, this is coming from ''[[AdultChild Wes Janson]]'', of all people.)

-->'''Wedge''': Oh, [[AdultChild Wes's]] maturity, [[TheEeyore your]] optimism, and [[AssInAmbassador my]] diplomatic skills.

---> '''Hobbie''': Oh, I do it all the time. Whenever [[LethalChef a Corellian cooks for us]]. Whenever [[AdultChild Wes]] plans our missions.

---> '''Myri''': Cheap shot.

*** That one joke became a BrickJoke at the end of the same book, when Lara (or Gara depending on her mental state) ''found'' an actual Ewok who had been genetically modified and trained to become a pilot. Her first, stressed-out reaction is to shout that she's heard this one already. She then explains to the uncomprehending Ewok that "we're both [[BecomingTheMask lies that became the truth]]."

* ''Mercy Kill'', while not quite as light-hearted as the previous X-Wing book, still manages to bring the funn:

*** [[BrickJoke Eventually leading to...]] the Cartann Minister for Crawling into Very Small Spaces.

--->''Janson uses his blastsword, which leaves a glowing trail behind it when on, to doodle a bantha in midair.''

--->''He draws out a local riding animal.''
--->'''Janson''': An Adumari ''farumme''! Here's another one. ''He draws an Adumari starfighter.'' A Blade Thirty-Two!

--->'''Janson''': One more! ''He draws a stick figure with a tiny head.'' It's Thanaer ke Sekae!

---> '''Wedge''': "I did. With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.

*** (Mind you, this is coming from ''[[AdultChild Wes Janson]]'', of all people.)

--->'''Wes''': "You know, wearing an Ewok as a swimsuit is a felony on some worlds."

--->'''Pirate''': "An Ewok pilot! ''They've got an Ewok pilot!!!''"
--->'''Wedge''': "Bleed and die, yub yub!"

--->'''Donos''': "Sir, permission to kill Face?"
--->'''Wedge''': "Granted. But keep the hat, like he says."
*** The whole infiltration sequence is beautiful, from the ComicallySmallBribe ("[[FlatWhat A whole credit.]]") to the synchronised head-bobbing to the reason for their visit being "Brides."

-->'''Wedge''': "We have the right tools to subvert our Imperial admiral."
-->'''Hobbie''': "What tools?"
-->'''Wedge''': "Oh, [[AdultChild Wes's]] maturity, [[TheEeyore your]] optimism, and [[AssInAmbassador my]] diplomatic skills."
-->'''Hobbie''': "We're doomed."

--->'''Announcer''': "Honor or death."
--->'''Janson''': "Wait! look at this."

--->'''Janson''': "Look! A bantha!" ''({{beat}})'' "Not familiar with banthas? Try this."

--->'''Janson''': "An Adumari ''farumme''! Here's another one." ''He draws an Adumari starfighter.'' "A Blade Thirty-Two!"
--->'''Thanaer''': ''(impatiently)'' "Are you ready to die yet?"
--->'''Janson''': "One more!" ''He draws a stick figure with a tiny head.'' "It's Thanaer ke Sekae!"

--->'''Janson''': "So it's like a blaster you have to hit people with? I ''have'' to get one!"
--->'''Tycho''': "Don't let him have a new type of weapon! It'd be like giving a lightsaber to a two year old."

---> '''Wedge''': "We'll need a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and [[NoodleImplements four sets of women's clothing.]]"
---> '''Hobbie''': "[[GenreSavvy Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing.]]"
---> '''Wedge''': "Very well. [[BlatantLies I'm not putting us in women's clothing.]]"

---> '''Hobbie''': "You lied to me."
---> '''Wedge''': "I did. With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators."
---> '''Hobbie''': "My faith is shattered."
---> '''Wedge''': "You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You ''knew''. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion."
---> '''Hobbie''': "I understand that. But I'd rather blame you than me."
---> '''Janson''': "So. [[{{Crossdresser}} Who's best-looking in women's dress?]] I vote for myself."

---> '''Wedge''': "Sithspit! What's that?"
---> '''Wes''': "That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn."
---> '''Wedge''': "Well, it offends me. Turn it off."
---> '''Wes''': "It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here."
---> '''Wedge''': "Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down for me."

---> '''Wes''': "Wedge, stop acting like a little kid. You're embarrassing me." (Mind you, this is coming from ''[[AdultChild Wes Janson]]'', of all people.)
** … and again…

*** [[BrickJoke Eventually leading to...]]the Cartann Minister for Crawling into Very Small Spaces.

** The "Lieutenant Kettch" prank, where Wes ends up naked holding a stuffed Ewok in front of his jewels in front of the entire squadron, is a shining example, the culmination of an escalating prank war. The kicker? ''Wedge planed it all.'' As revenge. Wes has the talent and the will... Wedge has the resources.

** The whole conversation between Wes Janson and Wedge after the latter manages to get back with Iella is too long to relate here, but is made even funnier by the inversion of their usual roles (with Wedge as the AdultChild).
--> '''Janson:''' Wedge, stop acting like a kid. You're embarrassing me.
** While Red Flight is on the run and stuck on foot, Wedge devises a plan to escape and asks for several items.
--> '''Wedge:''' We need a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing.\\
'''Hobbie:''' Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing.\\
'''Wedge:''' Very well. I'm not going to put us in women's clothing.\\
''(GilliganCut, and Red Flight is now wearing women's clothing)''\\
'''Hobbie:''' You lied to me.\\
'''Wedge:''' I did. With my [[SarcasmMode brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that [[CaptainObvious lies can be powerful motivators]].
** A few minutes later, to complete the disguise, Hobbie manages to let out a very convincing version of a frightened woman's scream.
-->'''Wedge:''' Good screaming, Hobbie.\\
'''Hobbie:''' I practice a lot. Anytime [[AdultChild Wes]] makes plans for the squadron, for example. Anytime a [[LethalChef Corellian]] cooks for us.\\
''(Wes and Wedge glare at him)''

* The "Lieutenant Kettch" prank in ''Solo Command'', where Wes ends up naked holding a stuffed Ewok in front of his jewels in front of the entire squadron, is a shining example, the culmination of an escalating prank war. The kicker? WEDGE PLANNED IT. As revenge. Wes has the talent and the will... Wedge has the resources.
** The Lieutenant Kettch joke became a BrickJoke at the end of the seventh book, when Lara, or Gara depending on her mental state, FOUND an actual Ewok who had been genetically modified and trained to become a pilot.
*** Her first, stressed-out reaction is to shout that she's heard this one already. She then explains to the uncomprehending Ewok that "we're both [[BecomingTheMask lies that became the truth]]."
* ''Starfighters of Adumar'' is one long extended series of funny moments:

''(Wes and Wedge glare at him)''
* Wedge and Han's "mutiny" on board the ''Mon Remonda''.
* Frankly,''Starfighters of Adumar,'' the whole damn book.
* Whenever a new quirk of Ooryl's BizarreAlienBiology pops up, such as the fact that he can store sleep for times when he has to stay awake, or the fact that he only has to breathe when he speaks.
* The reaction when Ooryl announces that he finds Corran's snoring to be soothing.
* The story Face relates to other then-Gray Squadron pilots:
-->'''Face''': So here I am [[NakedPeopleAreFunny stark naked]], locked out of my quarters, running around the corridors looking for a towel, a rag, anything, and I turn a corner and run right into the [[NumberTwo executive officer]]. He has about the same sense of humor as a Wookiee with a rash. So I throw my best salute and say, "Major, I regret to report only partial success with the Personal Cloaking Device." \\
'''Falynn''': So, what did he do? \\
'''Face''': He turned out to be all right. He made me hold salute for a while, looked me over, returned my salute, and said, "It's obvious this project was a failure. I suggest you go and cover up its [[DoubleEntendre shortcomings]]." So I did.

* From ''Starfighters of Adumar'': Hobbie's reference to the "Refresher Course".
** Another from ''Starfighters'': "Very well. I'm not going to put us in women's clothing."
-->"[[GilliganCut You lied to me.]]" \\
"I did. With my [[SarcasmMode brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that [[CaptainObvious lies can be powerful motivators]]."

* Wedge's quip at the beginning of ''Starfighters'' where he tells a general that "If you continue to map the Unknown Regions, you'll have to call them something else."

* Face's story, which he relates to other then-Gray Squadron pilots:

->'''Face''': So here I am [[NakedPeopleAreFunny stark naked]], locked out of my quarters, running around the corridors looking for a towel, a rag, anything, and I turn a corner and run right into the [[NumberTwo executive officer]]. He has about the same sense of humor as a Wookiee with a rash. So I throw my best salute and say, "Major, I regret to report only partial success with the Personal Cloaking Device." \\

->"[[GilliganCut You lied to me.]]"
->"I did. With my [[SarcasmMode brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that [[CaptainObvious lies can be powerful motivators]]."

* The "Lieutenant Kettch" prank in "Solo Command", where Wes ends up naked holding a stuffed Ewok in front of his jewels in front of the entire squadron, is a shining example, the culmination of an escalating prank war. The kicker? WEDGE PLANNED IT. As revenge. Wes has the talent and the will... Wedge has the resources.

* From "Starfighters of Adumar": Hobbie's reference to the "Refresher Course".
** Another from "Starfighters". "Very well. I'm not going to put us in women's clothing."
--->"[[GilliganCut You lied to me.]]"
--->"I did. With my [[SarcasmMode brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that [[CaptainObvious lies can be powerful motivators]]."

* Frankly, "Starfighters of Adumar," the whole damn book.

* The reaction when Ooryl announces that he finds Corran's snoring to be soothing.

* Wedge's quip at the beginning of ''Starfighters'' where he tells a general that "If you continue to map the Unknown Regions, you'll have to call them something else."

* Frankly, "Starfighters of Adumar," the whole damn book.