History Funny / TheOfficeUK

* "You're not all going to lose your jobs. Look, ''(To one employee)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job, ''(To another employee)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job, ''(To another employee)'' you know, uh... ''(Moving on to the next employee, leaving the previous one in tears)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job..."

* David going on a blind date. He says that the woman he's looking for is wearing a white scarf. When he glances behind him and sees an obese, middle-aged woman wearing a white scarf, he mutters "Oh, for fuck's sake". Followed by him telling her, "I've got a blind date, and I thought it was you."

* David going on a blind date. He says that the woman he's looking for is wearing a white scarf. When he glances behind him and sees an obese, middle-aged woman wearing a white scarf, he mutters "Oh, for fuck's sake". And his phone-call to another woman, where he tells her that he was in a documentary called [[TitleDrop "The Office"]].

'''Keith:''' ... not your minge.

A list of series-defining funny moments for the original version of ''The Office''

* Not to forget, from the very first episode: "He's put my stapler inside a jelly again!"

''pause''\\

''extremely long pause''\\

** Followed by him taking a bite of a scotch egg.

-->'''David:''' Under "strengths", you've written "Accounting"...
--> and under 'weaknesses' you've put 'eczema'

** Discussing the idea of ultimate fantasies, the trainer says he'd like an island, David waffles about time travel, and Gareth declares "Two lesbians, sisters - I'm watching." Following an awkward silence, Tim declares he'd like to hear more from Gareth, for once. And you can see a very small smile on Gareth's face.

* Gareth's rambling about the imaginary sniper on the roof across David's senile dad's retirement home.

* For us literary nerds, there's this line: "Tim Canterbury...''Literature/TheCanterburyTales''. By [[Creator/GeoffreyChaucer Chaucer.]] And [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare.]]
** The fact that it took Creator/RickyGervais and Creator/MartinFreeman over 25 takes to film that scene because they kept cracking up.

* David Brent telling Jennifer what a brilliant person Finchy is, then putting him on speakerphone and having to backpedal on what he'd just said.
** And Finchy jokingly says "stop looking up her skirt" as Davids eyes begin to wander.

*** David then jokes about how Jennifer needs to mellow out, possibly with some "wacky-backy". He's ''immediately'' brought back in for another scolding.
* Gareth playing with his "Dirty Bertie" toy. He finds it hilarious, but Tim finds it annoying.
** Then when Tim's recommending Gareth for the manager's position, you can hear Gareth playing with Bertie some more. The guy's his own worst enemy.
* David going on a blind date. He says that the woman he's looking for is wearing a white scarf. When he glances behind him and sees an obese, middle-aged woman wearing a white scarf, he mutters "Oh, for fuck's sake".
** And his phone-call to another woman, where he tells her that he was in a documentary called [[TitleDrop "The Office"]].

* David showing Donna how to use email by demonstrating on an employee's computer. He opens up a message and Donna cracks up laughing. It's then revealed that the message was a pornographic picture with David's face in it.
** When David demands to know who has seen this. Everyone raises their hands. Including the cleaning lady - who doesn't even have email.

* Taffy putting Anne in her place at the Christmas party:
--> '''Taffy:''' You think we care as much about your baby as you do? Just cos you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff. Well done! Merry fucking Christmas!

* During the training episode. Gareth gets asked his ultimate fantasy:
--> '''Gareth:''' Two lesbians, probably. Sisters. I'm just watching.

* Absolutely anything 'Training' episode, "I THINK THERE'S BEEN A RAPE UP THERE!"

** Quesioning what Rachel sees in Tim, Gareth declars his colleague looks 'like a little Fisher-Price man'.

--->'''Anne''': I went to a lot of places over the years, and the ''number'' of infatuations blokes have had over me, oh God. I mean they know they can’t have me, but it don’t stop ‘em. I dunno what it is about me they like so much.
--->'''Tim''': Yeah. ...I’ve been racking my brains.

* When David is hired to be a motivational speaker. He comes in dressed like a homie, acts extremely flamboyant without offering any substantial advice and runs out of the room with "Simply the Best" by Creator/TinaTurner playing him out. Watching him pose for photos is pretty funny as well.

--> '''Gareth:''' Two lesbians, probably. Sisters. I'm just watching.

--->'''Tim''': Yeah. ...I’ve been racking my brains.

** Discussing the idea of ultimate fantasies, the trainer says he'd like an island, David waffles about time travel, and Gareth declares "Two lesbians, I'm watching." Following an awkward silence, Tim declares he'd like to hear more from Gareth, for once. And you can see a very small smile on Gareth's face.

* After a particularly disastrous night out at a dance club, Gareth is seen riding home in the sidecar with a couple for some ThreeWaySex. His face as he passes the camera is a thing of beauty.

*** David then jokes about how Jennifer needs to mellow out, possibly with some "wacky-backy". He's immediately brought back in for another scolding.

* When the female employees are talking about what kinds of men they find attractive, Trudy says "I like blacks", with Oliver (the office black-guy) sitting right next to her.

--> So what's a goblin?

--> '''Gareth:''' Er yes they do, because if people were rude to me, then I used to give them their milk last, when it was warm.

--> '''Taffy:''' You think we care as much about your baby as you do? Just cos you let some useless tosser blow his beans up your muff. Well done! Merry fucking Christmas!

--> and under 'weaknesses' you've put 'eczma'

* When Neil and Rachel are performing a ''Film/SaturdayNightFever''-style dance for charity, [[GreenEyedMonster David's reaction]] is "That looks gay".

** When David demands to know who has seen this. Everyone raises their hands. Including one woman who doesn't even have email.

* Creator/MackenzieCrook in general is bloody brilliant in The Office.

* When Neil and Rachel are performing a Film/SaturdayNightFever-style dance for charity, [[GreenEyedMonster David's reaction]] is "That looks gay".

* David's attempts to endear himself to the Swindon branch by telling as many jokes as he can. the deafening silence he gets allows for Tim to let out a very audible "ooh..."

* "You're not all going to lose your jobs. Look, ''(To one employee)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job, ''(To another employee)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job, ''(To another employee)'' you know, uh... ''(Moving on to the next employee, leaving the previous one in tears)'' '''you're''' not going to lose your job..."

--."If you do go all the way with Tim and you want me to go in ''(points at her crotch)'' there straight afterwards, make sure he wears a condom. It's sort of a rule."
* David's attempts to endear himself to the Swindon branch by telling as many jokes as he can. the deafening silence he gets allows for Tim to let out a very audible "oh..."

** Then when Tim's recommending Gareth for the manager's position, you can hear Gareth playing with Bertie some more. The guy's his own worst enemy.