History Funny / TheNorthman

-->'''Amleth''': ''(to one cloth-carrying slave)'' Go take a piss.

-->'''Amleth Aurvandilson:''' ''(beaten to a bloody pulp)'' You cannot kill me. Even if you were to strike me with your sword, it would not bite. It is not my time. I ''will'' die in battle.
-->'''Fjölnir The Brotherless:''' ''(punches his nephew in the face)'' Where is my son's heart?!\\

-->'''Fjölnir The Brotherless:''' ''(punches his nephew in the face)'' Where is my son's heart?!
-->'''Amleth:''' Óðinn... the All-Father... will vanquish your god of erections. Fear him.
-->'''Fjölnir:''' Silence! ...I will come back for ''your'' heart. And your mother and I will ''eat it''.

* When Amleth tries to steal a knife from the kitchen to start his revenge, the vixen he's supposed to follow causes a ruckus by killing a chicken. The next night, she doesn't wait for Amleth to go off The Norns' script by simply waiting outside the hut Amleth is staying.
* While tending to his labors, Amleth sees two people carrying a cloth on a stick into Fjolnir and Gudrun's home. Curious to see what's going on for himself, Amleth finds the next pair of cloth-carriers, and shoves one of them away.

* Amleth quickly gets fed up with the He-Witch and orders him to "speak, [[ShapedLikeItself witch]]!" The He-Witch promptly throws "So be it, slave!" back at Amleth.
* Gunnar tries to get involved with the [[BloodSport knattleikr game]], but the burly team member knocks him out. After awaking, his first words are, "[[SkewedPriorities Did we win?]]"
** During the game, when Amleth and Thorfinnr are the last ones standing, Thorfinnr bats the ball towards the opposing goal and actually manages to score a hit on the thin post from across the entire pitch. Amleth can only stare after the lost point with an incredulous and despondent puppy expression on his face.
* Amleth shoving the Mount Dweller's head up its ass.
* As Amleth lies in wait during an attempt to kill Fjolnir, Fjolnir's dog runs ahead and starts barking at him. Amleth shuts him up by growling back.
* "This is not the work of my god! This is trollish sorcery!"

** During the game, when Amleth and Thorfinnr are the last ones standing, Thorfinnr throws the ball towards the opposing goal and Amleth stares at it flying past with an incredulous expression on his face.

* While undergoing a RiteOfPassage with his father and Heimir, Amleth and his father walk on all fours like dogs, barking all the while. It's pretty silly, until the following occurs.

* Amleth quickly gets fed up with the He-Witch and orders him to "speak, [[ShapedLikeItself witch]]!" The He-Witch promptly throws "slave!" back at Amleth.

* Amleth shoving the [[spoiler:Mount Dweller]]'s head up its ass.

* This priceless bit of swerving black comedy during the DarkestHour for our hero.

-->'''Fjölnir Silence! ...I will come back for ''your'' heart. And your mother and I will ''eat it''.

* This priceless bit of swerving black comedy during DarkestHour for our hero.

* This priceless bit of swerving black comedy during TheDarkestHour for our hero.

--->'''Heimir:''' Prove you are not a dog.\\

* After [[spoiler:Amleth]] is captured and tortured, [[spoiler:Finnr]] tries to appropriate his sword... Only to throw it away in disgust after [[PhlebotinumHandlingRequirements trying and failing to draw it from its sheath several times]].

* Amleth shoving the [[spoiler:Mount Dweller]]'s head up its ass for seemingly no ([[ShoutOut in-story]]) reason.