History Funny / TheMightyBoosh

--> '''Bollo:''' That is Chinko. He was my friend. As children we played together in forest. My father warn us, "No go too far, for there are hunter at edge of forest." But Chinko curious. He always say, "Bollo please, please can we go to edge of forest?" over and over and over. And so finally, one day (pause) I chopped his head off. Cup of tea, anyone?

* ''Topshop!''
** [[NoIndoorVoice ARE YOU STILL HERE?!]]

--> '''Bollo:''' That is Chinko. He was my friend. We were raised together in the forest. My father say, don't go to edge of forest! but every day, Chinko would say, please, please Bollo can we go to edge of forest? then, finally one day (pause) I chopped his head off

-->'''Vince''': A latte?! What is this, Vince Noir's Moonlight Cafe?

--->'''Vince''': I'll make a feature of it!

* New Wave: Combining elements of the past and the future to make something not quite as good as either...

--->'''Vince''' (playing a xylophone, sings): Shoot your face off! (xylophone) SHOOT YOUR FACE OFF!

* "I love the Chosen One! I stick my fingers up his -- " "THAT'S ENOUGH MUSIC FOR TONIGHT."

** "If there's any little kids here, it's S-T-U-M-P, STUMP-FUCKING. Get it right when you tell your mates in the playground tomorrow!"

--> '''Hitcher:''' No it fucking ain't.

** Also from that scene: when Fossil asks for the two cavemen's CVs, one of them simply picks up a piece of paper from Fossil's desk and gives it to him.

* "When an young... ah, kitten, and he in a bag, and I make him go, and I ''flat him out''!!" Such a CrowningMomentOfFunny, in fact, that Julian and Noel themselves could hardly keep straight faces.

* An exchange between Bollo and Tony Harrison from a deleted scene (from memory, may not be entirly accurate)

* "I'M [[CardCarryingVillain EVIL]] BRIXTON I'M....I'M A KNOB!!"

* "I'M [[CardCarryingVillain EVIL]] BRIXTON I'M....I'M A KNOB!!"

* "Some say Old Gregg painted his pubes yellow so he can read in the bed."

--> '''Bollo:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder With my hands!''']]
--> '''Tony:''' (worried) Right...

--> '''Bollo:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder With my hands!'''

--> ''This is the Number 2, OK? He runs a coffee shop. And this is the Number 9. And 9 is a customer, right? And one day 9 goes in and 2 goes, "I don't have a coffeehouse no more. I have a knife fighting academy." And Number 9 goes, "I want coffee!" And Number 2 goes, "No, I'm gonna slice you! AND LEARN HOW TO SLICE OTHERS." And 9 goes, "I can't, I gotta get out of here!" And 2 goes, "I LOCKED THE DOOR."''

* In the power of the crimp, Lance Dior and Harold Boom tell Vince that the future is out, and that they must look to the past for inspiration. Howard interrupts with:
--> '''Howard:''' (hopefully) You mean like in the 50's?

--> '''Spirit''': Ain't no door back there. It's a toilet.

---> It's mixture of chinese and chav. I call it chavese'

->Howard (hopefully) You mean like in the 50's?
->Vince: Don't be ''ridiculous'', Howard!

->Howard: What would Mick Jagger do?
->Vince: He'd probably just do this (does chicken dance)

->Bollo: That is Chinko. He was my friend. We were raised together in the forest. My father say, don't go to edge of forest! but every day, Chinko would say, please, please Bollo can we go to edge of forest? then, finally one day (pause) I chopped his head off

* The Hitcher: Oooooo, I'm a cockney nutjob! E' slashes one way! E' slashes another! E' even slashes diagonal! E's like connect four in DAGGER terms!

* Old Gregg: Do you like bailey's? I got some. I can give you Bailey's. Mmmmmm creamy!

->Howard: Roaring fire. Cup of tea. What more do you need eh?
->Vince: MTV.
->Howard: Listen, Vince, what can you hear?
->Vince: Your cells dying.

*
->Howard: Hi, It's me, Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning?
->Kodiak Jack: The Hwat?
->Howard: You know, the telephone?
->Kodiak Jack: Ohhhh, the talkie stick, your voice got trapped inside it this morning



->I am Sunflaaaaash. I am from the futaaa.
->It's mixture of chinese and chav. I call it chavese'

* '''"CRIMPETY CRIMPETY FUCK YOU."'''

* The ''entirety'' of Nanageddon, but a few gems stand out.
->Howard: Killed a swan today. Did a shit on it. (beat) ''Right'' on it.

->Naboo: You've gone too far this time. I'm going to have to turn my back on you. *revolves on the spot, while a guitar riff plays*
->Vince: Aw, come on Naboo!
(beat)
->Naboo: faces Vince and Howard again, while the guitar riff finishes: Let that be a lesson to you.

This happened a couple of times, the earlier one went something like this:

->Naboo: You know what's coming. Bollo, hold his arms
->Howard: No, don't be silly Naboo! no you don't have to do this! Vince! Vince! Vinceeee! Nooooooooooooo
(Naboo turns his back on them, while Howard sobs hysterically)

* "When an young... ah, kitten, and he in a bag, and I make him go, and I ''flat him out''!!" Such a CrowningMomentOfFunny, in fact, that Julian and Noel themselves could harldy keep straight faces.

->Howard: (after Vince tries to rescue him and fails) well I appreciate the gesture, but it was a bit of a wasted journey wasn't it? did you bring anything? like a gun. Or a fork?

--> '''Howard''': Howard Moon; colon; explorer.

** It is hard to pick one moment from ''TheMightyBoosh'', but mention must be made of the episode where Howard gets kidnapped by a mysterious sea monster with webbed hands and a "mangina" who lures him back to his cave and shows him his watercolour paintings. They sing a song about playing "Love Games" and Gregg tries to get Howard, his "fuzzy little man-peach" to marry him.
---> '''Old Gregg''': I did home economics. I got an A+ . I made a crumble. My teacher said mine was the best one.
** The hash cakes bit:
---> '''Naboo''': Quick thing about hash cakes, have just one, wait an hour, see how you feel. Don't have fifteen at once, because you will see the devil, and he will try and tear your heart out through your kneecaps.
** Howard tests out his pitch for the Survivor Patch.
** When Howard has his first ever kiss... with Vince. Howard thinks he has fallen in love, but his feelings go away when he spots the girl he has a crush on. Vince feels personally hurt, until [[RealLifeRelative some random girl]] comes in and says hi and he gets over it. Then they jump on the bouncy castle. [[CrowdSong "Bouncy bouncy, Ooh such a good time!"]]
*** Howard's last Arctic journal entry:
---> '''Howard''': "So alone. Wind my only friend."
---> '''The Wind''': ''"~I hate you.~"''
---> '''Howard''': "Shut up, Wind!"

---> '''Spirit''': "Ow, chicka chicka ow... ''oww''! Man, my hat's on fire! Are you blind?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
---> '''Howard''': "Sorry. I thought that was your look."
---> '''Spirit''': "No, it ain't my look! Spoiled my exit now. Tryin' to do you a favour.
---> ''He exits, then walks back past Howard thirty seconds later.''
---> '''Spirit''': "Ain't no door back there. It's a toilet."

* "Argh! I've got ''bunches''!!"

---> '''Howard''': "Shut up, Wind!"

->Howard: (after Vince tries to rescue him and fails) well I appreciate the gesture, but it was a bit of a wasted journey wasn't it? did you bring anything? like a gun. Or a fork?

* In the power of the crimp, Lance Dior and Harold Boom tell Vince that the future is out, and that they must look to the past for inspiration. Howard interrupts with:

->Howard (hopefully) You mean like in the 50's?

->Vince: He'd probably just do this (does chicken dance)

* The Hitcher: Oooooo, I'm a cockney nutjob! E' slashes one way! E' slashes another! E' even slashes diagonal! E's like connect four in DAGGER terms!

* Old Gregg: Do you like bailey's? I got some. I can give you Bailey's. Mmmmmm creamy!

* New Wave: Combining elements of the past and the future to make something not quite as good as either...

*

* '''"CRIMPETY CRIMPETY FUCK YOU."'''

** And:

->Naboo: faces Vince and Howard again, while the guitar riff finishes: Let that be a lesson to you.

* ->Howard: (after Vince tries to rescue him and fails) well I appreciate the gesture, but it was a bit of a wasted journey wasn't it? did you bring anything? like a gun. Or a fork?

* "When an young... ah, kitten, and he in a bag, and I make him go, and I ''flat him out''!!" Such a CrowningMomentOfFunny, in fact, that Julian and Noel themselves could harldy keep straight faces.