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* In a crossover appearance on a 1946 episode of "The Fred Allen Show", the Benny/Allen feud reached its peak when Jack played a contestant in the quiz show spoof, "King for a Day". Jack's string of ridiculous prizes culminates in getting his suit pressed. [[spoiler: As in stripping an outraged Jack down to his underwear on stage, while the audience roars.]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X8tJ9toH7A You can hear the sketch here, including Kenny Delmar's sponsor tag getting cut off the air.]]

Added DiffLines:

** In his book "100 Years, 100 Stories", Burns described what he felt was his finest moment in getting Benny to crack up: at a dinner party, George noticed a loose piece of thread on Jack's suit jacket that stood out like a sore thumb. George removed the thread and quipped, "Say, Jack, thats a nice looking piece of thread there. Can I borrow it?" and proceeded to put the thread on his own jacket. That's all George did, but it was all it took to make Jack collapse in hysterics. The coup de grace came afterwards: George sent that same thread back to Jack in a small box and a thank you note. A few days later, George got a phone call from Mary, Jack's wife; "George, your package arrived today with your note...as soon as Jack picks himself up off the floor, I'm gonna leave him!"


-->[Crowd roars with laughter]''

to:

-->[Crowd -->''[Crowd roars with laughter]''


-->'''Benny:''' (silence)
--> Crowd starts laughing at the pregnant pause.

to:

-->'''Benny:''' (silence)
--> Crowd
''(silence)''
-->''[Crowd
starts laughing at the pregnant pause.]''



--> Crowd roars with laughter

to:

--> Crowd -->[Crowd roars with laughterlaughter]''


--->--->'''Benny:''' Okay, men, this is Romanoff's restaurant, that man in that red uniform with the gold braid must be the doorman. I'll ask him. ''[footsteps]'' Pardon me, are you the doorman?\\

to:

--->--->'''Benny:''' --->'''Benny:''' Okay, men, this is Romanoff's restaurant, that man in that red uniform with the gold braid must be the doorman. I'll ask him. ''[footsteps]'' Pardon me, are you the doorman?\\


'''Wilson:''' I heard it on Drear Pooson-\\

to:

'''Wilson:''' I heard it on Drear Pooson-\\Pooson- ''[audience laughter]''\\



--->'''Benny:''' Say, mister...are you the doorman?\\
'''Nelson:''' Who do you think I am in this uniform...Dreeeear Pooson?\\

to:

--->'''Benny:''' Say, mister...--->--->'''Benny:''' Okay, men, this is Romanoff's restaurant, that man in that red uniform with the gold braid must be the doorman. I'll ask him. ''[footsteps]'' Pardon me, are you the doorman?\\
'''Nelson:''' Who Well, who do you think I am in this uniform...Dreeeear Pooson?\\am, '''Drear Pooson??'''\\


** An even bigger laugh came on [[http://www.jackbenny.org/biography/other/longest_laugh.htm the night of January 8, 1950]]. Early in the episode Don Wilson flubbed a line about newspaper columnist Drew Pearson, referring to him as "Drear Pooson". This got a huge laugh from the audience and the rest of the cast. Sensing a golden opportunity, the show's writers summoned actor Frank Nelson (the "Yeeeeeees?" guy), who was due to appear as a hotel doorman later in the episode, backstage. They gave him a new line of dialogue to deliver in place of what was in the original script. The results were as follows:
--->'''Benny:''' Say, mister...are you the doorman?
--->'''Nelson:''' Who do you think I am in this uniform...Dreeeear Pooson?
*** At this, Benny literally fell off the stage laughing and the audience went nuts while he tried to compose himself.
* Speaking of Jack Benny and his violin, he had the world's greatest violinists, like Jascha Heifetz and Isaac Stern, on his program where he not only compared his skills with them, but went on to play duets for added effect, which makes his violin playing all the funnier. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seZ4KhYr-Hw This one]] is nothing short of [[RefugeInAudacity pure audacity]]:

to:

** * An even bigger laugh came on [[http://www.jackbenny.org/biography/other/longest_laugh.htm the night of January 8, 1950]]. 1950]].
**
Early in the episode Don Wilson flubbed a line about newspaper columnist Drew Pearson, referring Pearson:
--->'''Benny:''' Thank you, thank you, hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, I wanna ask you something, how did you know that I bought a new suit?\\
'''Wilson:''' I heard it on Drear Pooson-\\
'''Benny:''' You heard it on ''what?'' Wait a minute, I want
to him as "Drear Pooson". hear this...
**
This got a huge laugh from the audience and the rest of the cast. Sensing a golden opportunity, the show's writers summoned actor Frank Nelson (the "Yeeeeeees?" guy), who was due to appear as a hotel doorman later in the episode, backstage. They gave him a new line of dialogue to deliver in place of what was in the original script.script ("Nelson Eddy", a reference to the similarity between a doorman's uniform and the Mountie uniforms Eddy often wore on screen). The results were as follows:
--->'''Benny:''' Say, mister...are you the doorman?
--->'''Nelson:'''
doorman?\\
'''Nelson:'''
Who do you think I am in this uniform...Dreeeear Pooson?
*** At
Pooson?\\
''[At
this, Benny literally fell falls off the stage laughing and the audience went goes nuts while he tried tries to compose himself.
himself.]''
* Speaking of Jack Benny and his violin, he had the world's greatest violinists, like Jascha Heifetz and Isaac Stern, on his program where he not only compared his skills with them, but went on to play duets for added effect, which makes his violin playing all the funnier. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seZ4KhYr-Hw This one]] is nothing short of [[RefugeInAudacity pure audacity]]:


-->'''Jack Benny:''' I've made a lot of money, and gotten a lot of laughs. Don't tell ''anyone'' I play that well.

to:

-->'''Jack Benny:''' I've made a lot of money, money and gotten a lot of laughs. Don't tell ''anyone'' I play that well.

Added DiffLines:

* One episode from the television show had Professor [=LeBlanc=] suffer a nervous breakdown and wind up catatonic. Various flashbacks show him gradually losing his sanity over many years due to his failure to improve Jack's violin playing. His therapist thinks that the power of music could help him, and Jack retrieves his violin. A lesser show would have gone for the obvious joke; Jack plays so badly that [=LeBlanc=] reflexively snaps out of it to insult him. Instead Jack plays beautifully, the professor is ecstatic, and leaves the office happily, even planting a kiss on Jack. Once he is gone, Jack addresses the doctor, giving one of the best character breaks in television history.
-->'''Jack Benny:''' I've made a lot of money, and gotten a lot of laughs. Don't tell ''anyone'' I play that well.


* The ChristmasEpisode where Jack goes shopping for gifts. His interactions with Mel Blanc about the wallet and card for Don Wilson are just the tip of the iceberg. Along that we have:

to:

* The ChristmasEpisode where Jack goes shopping for gifts. His interactions with Mel Blanc (who goes into ever-increasing SanitySlippage) about the wallet and card for Don Wilson are just the tip of the iceberg. Along that we have:


* One episode had Jack participating in ''Series/YouBetYourLife'', putting on a PaperThinDisguise to dissuade [[TheMarxBrothers Groucho]]. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

to:

* One episode had Jack participating in ''Series/YouBetYourLife'', putting on a PaperThinDisguise to dissuade [[TheMarxBrothers [[Creator/TheMarxBrothers Groucho]]. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.


---> At this, Benny literally fell off the stage laughing and the audience went nuts while he tried to compose himself.

to:

---> *** At this, Benny literally fell off the stage laughing and the audience went nuts while he tried to compose himself.

Added DiffLines:

* The ChristmasEpisode where Jack goes shopping for gifts. His interactions with Mel Blanc about the wallet and card for Don Wilson are just the tip of the iceberg. Along that we have:
** The masked gunman pointing Jack to the jewelry department and Jack wondering if there's still a nice selection.
** Rochester explaining to one clerk via process of elimination what kind of man Jack is.
** Dennis Day's interaction with another clerk.
** Don Wilson sitting in Santa's lap.
** Jack buying a nightgown for his sister. "Da loops!"


** An even bigger laugh came on [[http://www.jackbenny.org/biography/other/longest_laugh.htm the night of January 8, 1950]]. Early in the episode Don Wilson fluffed a line about newspaper columnist Drew Pearson, referring to him as "Drear Pooson". This got a huge laugh from the audience and the rest of the cast. Sensing a golden opportunity, the show's writers summoned actor Frank Nelson (the "Yeeeeeees?" guy), who was due to appear as a hotel doorman later in the episode, backstage. They gave him a new line of dialogue to deliver in place of what was in the original script. The results were as follows:

to:

** An even bigger laugh came on [[http://www.jackbenny.org/biography/other/longest_laugh.htm the night of January 8, 1950]]. Early in the episode Don Wilson fluffed flubbed a line about newspaper columnist Drew Pearson, referring to him as "Drear Pooson". This got a huge laugh from the audience and the rest of the cast. Sensing a golden opportunity, the show's writers summoned actor Frank Nelson (the "Yeeeeeees?" guy), who was due to appear as a hotel doorman later in the episode, backstage. They gave him a new line of dialogue to deliver in place of what was in the original script. The results were as follows:


Added DiffLines:

* One episode had Jack participating in ''Series/YouBetYourLife'', putting on a PaperThinDisguise to dissuade [[TheMarxBrothers Groucho]]. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.


* Jack's LemonyNarrator moments, especially when he has to provide on-the-spot [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] for what went against the planned script. This is no more gloriously demonstrated than in the episode "Baby Face Bogart", with guest star HumphreyBogart.
* The classic "TheJackBennyProgram" moment, supposedly the longest laugh ever recorded, came when Jack Benny, always known as a skinflint and cheapskate, is mugged:

to:

* Jack's LemonyNarrator moments, especially when he has to provide on-the-spot [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] for what went against the planned script. This is no more gloriously demonstrated than in the episode "Baby Face Bogart", with guest star HumphreyBogart.
Creator/HumphreyBogart.
* The classic "TheJackBennyProgram" "Jack Benny Program" moment, supposedly the longest laugh ever recorded, came when Jack Benny, always known as a skinflint and cheapskate, is mugged:



-->'''Benny:''' ''[[ImThinkingItOver I'm thinking it over!]]''

to:

-->'''Benny:''' ''[[ImThinkingItOver I'm thinking it over!]]''''ImThinkingItOver''



* Speaking of Jack Benny and his violin, he had the world's greatest violinists like Jascha Heifetz and Isaac Stern on his program where he not only compared his skills with them, but went on to play duets for added effect, which makes his violin playing all the funnier. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seZ4KhYr-Hw This one]] is nothing short of [[RefugeInAudacity pure audacity]]
---> Jack (after a round of playing with Heifetz): "Honest folks, can you tell the difference?" (Even announcer Edward Arnold is laughing in splits at this stage...)
* According to friends like GeorgeBurns, many moments were this to Jack Benny, who was always engaged in a friendly battle of jokes with Burns. Benny always tried to get Burns to laugh with a gag and often failed, but Benny would crack up at almost any joke. One such story told by Burns involves Benny lighting a cigar. As he pulled out a box of matches, Burns quipped "Oh, and here goes Jack Benny performing the famous match trick!" Once a confused Benny lit up, Burns then said: "Aha! A new ending!" Moments later, Jack Benny was doubled over, convulsed in laughter.
* The classic violin duet (duel?) bit between Jack and songstress Gisele [=MacKenzie=].

to:

* Speaking of Jack Benny and his violin, he had the world's greatest violinists violinists, like Jascha Heifetz and Isaac Stern Stern, on his program where he not only compared his skills with them, but went on to play duets for added effect, which makes his violin playing all the funnier. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seZ4KhYr-Hw This one]] is nothing short of [[RefugeInAudacity pure audacity]]
---> Jack
audacity]]:
-->'''Benny'''
(after a round of playing with Heifetz): "Honest "Honest, folks, can you tell the difference?" (Even announcer Edward Arnold is laughing in splits at this stage...)
* According to friends like GeorgeBurns, Creator/GeorgeBurns, many moments were this to Jack Benny, who was always engaged in a friendly battle of jokes with Burns. Benny always tried to get Burns to laugh with a gag and often failed, but Benny would crack up at almost any joke. One such story told by Burns involves Benny lighting a cigar. As he pulled out a box of matches, Burns quipped quipped, "Oh, and here goes Jack Benny performing the famous match trick!" Once a confused Benny lit up, Burns then said: "Aha! A new ending!" Moments later, Jack Benny was doubled over, convulsed in laughter.
* The classic violin duet (duel?) bit between Jack and songstress Gisele [=MacKenzie=].[=MacKenzie=].
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