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*
-->'''Pirkle''': Will you come?
-->'''Snob''': Oh, I've already come. Twice. I get off on uniforms.
-->'''Pirkle''': Will you come?
-->'''Snob''': Oh, I've already come. Twice. I get off on uniforms.
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* "Next up in the movie..." (''footage of people being shot'') "I said, next up in--" (''footage of people being shot'') "As I was saying..." (''[[RuleOfThree footage of people being shot]]'') "Christ, movie! Stop killing people!"
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Changed line(s) 85 (click to see context) from:
-->''''Pirkle''': Have you seen these cartoons? Programs motivated to lead your child into crime, into sex, into murder?
to:
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* "Let's hear it for the Locust Grove Baptist Church. It's much better than the Death of the Firstborn Baptist Church."
* "I think the fans of this film are gonna love it when angry talk radio becomes a thing!"
* "Pirkle's audience is mostly made up of ''[[ComicStrip/TheFarSide Far Side]]'' characters."
* After Pirkle's anti-Communism scare tactics:
-->'''Pirkle''': Do these things seem far-fetched to you?
-->'''Snob''': '''''YES!'''''
*
-->'''Pirkle''': We, too, will be on the same schedule of every Communist nation on earth. You will be at work by 5:00 in the morning.
-->'''Snob''': What? I gotta be at work at ''5 AM''? No one gets up that early!
*"Yep, sex education. Because teaching about the safe way to have sex is exactly the same as saying, 'hey kids, I want you all to fuck.'"
*
-->'''Snob''': have the feeling Gary and Phil from ''Deception of a Generation'' may be in this audience. Because next on the evil roster is cartoons.
-->''''Pirkle''': Have you seen these cartoons? Programs motivated to lead your child into crime, into sex, into murder?
-->'''Snob''': Okay, so maybe I felt like strangling someone after the premiere of ''WesternAnimation/TheBrothersGrunt''. But it wasn't because it was a cartoon, it was because [[TakeThat it was fucking awful]]!
*
-->'''Pirkle''': Magazines, newspaper, and television are all trying to make extramarital relations appear all right.
-->'''Snob''': Yes, because when it's on TV, that means they're saying the act is good. I saw a guy killed on an episode of ''Series/CriminalMinds'' the other night. [[InsaneTrollLogic That means the show is very pro-murder.]]
*
-->'''Pirkle''': In this torture, a man is kept away from water for two to three days, then salt poured into his mouth. He's made to endure unthinkable torture.
-->'''Snob''': Meh, it's like eating a bowl of the hot and sour soup from P. F. Chang's. You get used to it after a while.
*
-->'''Pirkle''': We mustn't just come on Sunday morning, but on Sunday night as well.
-->'''Snob''': Bullshit! Sunday night's when ''WesternAnimation/BobsBurgers'' is on!
* "I think the fans of this film are gonna love it when angry talk radio becomes a thing!"
* "Pirkle's audience is mostly made up of ''[[ComicStrip/TheFarSide Far Side]]'' characters."
* After Pirkle's anti-Communism scare tactics:
-->'''Pirkle''': Do these things seem far-fetched to you?
-->'''Snob''': '''''YES!'''''
*
-->'''Pirkle''': We, too, will be on the same schedule of every Communist nation on earth. You will be at work by 5:00 in the morning.
-->'''Snob''': What? I gotta be at work at ''5 AM''? No one gets up that early!
*"Yep, sex education. Because teaching about the safe way to have sex is exactly the same as saying, 'hey kids, I want you all to fuck.'"
*
-->'''Snob''': have the feeling Gary and Phil from ''Deception of a Generation'' may be in this audience. Because next on the evil roster is cartoons.
-->''''Pirkle''': Have you seen these cartoons? Programs motivated to lead your child into crime, into sex, into murder?
-->'''Snob''': Okay, so maybe I felt like strangling someone after the premiere of ''WesternAnimation/TheBrothersGrunt''. But it wasn't because it was a cartoon, it was because [[TakeThat it was fucking awful]]!
*
-->'''Pirkle''': Magazines, newspaper, and television are all trying to make extramarital relations appear all right.
-->'''Snob''': Yes, because when it's on TV, that means they're saying the act is good. I saw a guy killed on an episode of ''Series/CriminalMinds'' the other night. [[InsaneTrollLogic That means the show is very pro-murder.]]
*
-->'''Pirkle''': In this torture, a man is kept away from water for two to three days, then salt poured into his mouth. He's made to endure unthinkable torture.
-->'''Snob''': Meh, it's like eating a bowl of the hot and sour soup from P. F. Chang's. You get used to it after a while.
*
-->'''Pirkle''': We mustn't just come on Sunday morning, but on Sunday night as well.
-->'''Snob''': Bullshit! Sunday night's when ''WesternAnimation/BobsBurgers'' is on!
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* "John 11:36 is an accurate review of His reaction to these movies!" Not only is [[StealthPun this verse "Jesus wept"]], this is said over Christ doing a FacePalm.
to:
* "John 11:36 is an accurate "Estus Pirkle, despite having a name that sounds like the obvious villain on every episode of ''Series/InTheHeatOfTheNight'', was a Baptist minister from Mississippi. ''Shocking!''"
* "The movie being named after a [[Literature/TheBible Bible]] verse makes sense. I think John 11:35 pretty much sums up Jesus's review ofHis reaction to all these movies!" films." Not only is [[StealthPun [[GeniusBonus this verse "Jesus wept"]], this is said over Christ doing a FacePalm.
* "The movie being named after a [[Literature/TheBible Bible]] verse makes sense. I think John 11:35 pretty much sums up Jesus's review of
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Death Wish II]]
* The Snob saying that nothing happened is Bronson speech for he let a man he cornered in an alley live.
* When the Snob talks of how Bronson's character's daughter ultimately meets her demise.
-->'''Snob:''' And given how the character of Carol went through an unspeakable horror in the first film, I'm sure this movie will treat her with the utmost respect.
-->''(Carol jumps through a window and get impaled on a metal fence)''
-->'''Snob:''' See? I'm sure she died a quick death, being impaled on a fence!
* "Why the hell is that guy going to heaven?!"
* "And then Bronson shot him for public drunkiness...and for not sharing."
* Detective Ochoa's demise also brings a few chuckles.
-->'''Snob:''' They better have a good reason for bringing Ochoa back for this.
-->''(Ochoa dies in gunfight)''
-->'''Snob:''' And immediately killing him off isn't a good reason!
* "Then it's settled! Eighties's boomboxes, while gigantic, are not big enough to stop a bullet! The debate is over!"
[[folder:Death Wish II]]
* The Snob saying that nothing happened is Bronson speech for he let a man he cornered in an alley live.
* When the Snob talks of how Bronson's character's daughter ultimately meets her demise.
-->'''Snob:''' And given how the character of Carol went through an unspeakable horror in the first film, I'm sure this movie will treat her with the utmost respect.
-->''(Carol jumps through a window and get impaled on a metal fence)''
-->'''Snob:''' See? I'm sure she died a quick death, being impaled on a fence!
* "Why the hell is that guy going to heaven?!"
* "And then Bronson shot him for public drunkiness...and for not sharing."
* Detective Ochoa's demise also brings a few chuckles.
-->'''Snob:''' They better have a good reason for bringing Ochoa back for this.
-->''(Ochoa dies in gunfight)''
-->'''Snob:''' And immediately killing him off isn't a good reason!
* "Then it's settled! Eighties's boomboxes, while gigantic, are not big enough to stop a bullet! The debate is over!"
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-->'''Snob''': He's jealous that's she's gonna fuck a fish- '''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer that's a thing that just happened]]'''!
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?]]
*"John 11:36 is an accurate review of His reaction to these movies!" Not only is [[StealthPun this verse "Jesus wept"]], this is said over Christ doing a FacePalm.
*The constant bafflement at the violence, earning comparisons to ''I Spit on Your Grave'' and ''Beware! Children at Play''.
[[folder:If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?]]
*"John 11:36 is an accurate review of His reaction to these movies!" Not only is [[StealthPun this verse "Jesus wept"]], this is said over Christ doing a FacePalm.
*The constant bafflement at the violence, earning comparisons to ''I Spit on Your Grave'' and ''Beware! Children at Play''.
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says, "[[TheBible Matthew, Mark, Luke, John,]] and FUCK OFF WITH THAT QUESTION!"
to:
* "Are all current and former deejays named Brad complete dickheads?"[[note]]Brad Jones, who plays the Snob, used to be a deejay.[[/note]]
* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says,"[[TheBible "[[Literature/TheBible Matthew, Mark, Luke, John,]] and FUCK OFF WITH THAT QUESTION!"
* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says,
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Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
* Comparing two characters to [[Webvideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Doug and Tamara]], and wondering why Tamara is absence.
to:
* Comparing two characters to [[Webvideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Doug and Tamara]], and wondering why Tamara Malcolm is absence.absent.
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Second Glance]]
*[[InterruptingMeme "Hey Scotty!"]]
*Comparing two characters to [[Webvideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Doug and Tamara]], and wondering why Tamara is absence.
[[folder:Second Glance]]
*[[InterruptingMeme "Hey Scotty!"]]
*Comparing two characters to [[Webvideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Doug and Tamara]], and wondering why Tamara is absence.
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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
** Another CallBack: [[Film/FridayThe13thPartVITheNewBlood "stab stab stab jail end credits"]].
to:
** Another CallBack: [[Film/FridayThe13thPartVITheNewBlood [[Film/FridayThe13thPartVIJasonLives "stab stab stab jail end credits"]].
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** Another CallBack: [[Film/FridayThe13thPartVITheNewBlood "stab stab stab jail end credits"]].
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
* "If I wanted a song about milkshake, I'll stick to ''Can't Stop the Music''... Because you're probably holding a gun to my head asking for my choice."
to:
* "If I wanted a song about milkshake, I'll stick to ''Can't Stop the Music''... Because you're probably holding clearly there's a gun to my head asking for my choice."head, forcing me to make this choice!"
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:War Room]]
* Miss Clara bemoaning teenage boys with saggy pants.
-->'''Miss Clara:''' I'm tired of seeing all these young boys with sloppy hair and pants around their knees. A man wears his pants around his waist.
-->'''Snob:''' That's not how the line goes! The line goes [[CallBack "Goofy Toofie, pick up your pants!"]]
* "Miss Clara is basically a laugh-track character, in that everything she says can instantly be followed with a studio reaction."
-->'''Miss Clara:''' It's my sittin' room.
-->'''Elizabeth:''' Hm. What do you do in here?
-->'''Miss Clara:''' Mainly sit.
-->''(Audience laughs)''
-->'''Miss Clara:''' Can't do nothin' with my phone but call folks. Must be a dumbphone.
-->''(Audience laughs)''
-->'''Snob:''' ''(Fake laughs)'' Ugh, this makes Series/MamasFamily look like Series/{{Frasier}}.
[[folder:War Room]]
* Miss Clara bemoaning teenage boys with saggy pants.
-->'''Miss Clara:''' I'm tired of seeing all these young boys with sloppy hair and pants around their knees. A man wears his pants around his waist.
-->'''Snob:''' That's not how the line goes! The line goes [[CallBack "Goofy Toofie, pick up your pants!"]]
* "Miss Clara is basically a laugh-track character, in that everything she says can instantly be followed with a studio reaction."
-->'''Miss Clara:''' It's my sittin' room.
-->'''Elizabeth:''' Hm. What do you do in here?
-->'''Miss Clara:''' Mainly sit.
-->''(Audience laughs)''
-->'''Miss Clara:''' Can't do nothin' with my phone but call folks. Must be a dumbphone.
-->''(Audience laughs)''
-->'''Snob:''' ''(Fake laughs)'' Ugh, this makes Series/MamasFamily look like Series/{{Frasier}}.
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Snob''': Anyway, it's their pillow Shloofy's birthday- '''[[ARareSentence that was a sentence I just said]]'''!
to:
-->'''Snob''': Anyway, it's It's their pillow Shloofy's birthday- '''[[ARareSentence that was that's a sentence I just said]]'''!
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Changed line(s) 40,41 (click to see context) from:
* The Snob's increasing frustration over the film's excruciating insistence in beating the "Toofie's pants keep falling down" joke into the groun
"I will STAPLE them to your GODDAMN ASS!!!"
"I will STAPLE them to your GODDAMN ASS!!!"
to:
* The Snob's increasing frustration over the film's excruciating insistence in beating the "Toofie's pants keep falling down" joke into the groun
"Iground:
-->'''Snob''': I willSTAPLE ''staple'' them to your GODDAMN ASS!!!"ASS!!!
"I
-->'''Snob''': I will
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"It's their pillow Shloofy's birthday-THAT WAS A SENTENCE I JUST SAID."
to:
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* The Snob's increasing frustration over the film's excruciating insistence in beating the "Toofie's pants keep falling down" joke into the groun
"I will STAPLE them to your GODDAMN ASS!!!"
*Also his bewilderment at the nature of the film's plot that he has to relay
"It's their pillow Shloofy's birthday-THAT WAS A SENTENCE I JUST SAID."
"I will STAPLE them to your GODDAMN ASS!!!"
*Also his bewilderment at the nature of the film's plot that he has to relay
"It's their pillow Shloofy's birthday-THAT WAS A SENTENCE I JUST SAID."
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure]]
* Again, the Snob's sheer hatred for the movie, of the EnragedByIdiocy in this case, leads to plenty of laughter.
* The title card, featuring a {{Chibi}} Snob angry at the Oogieloves.
*"If I wanted a song about milkshake, I'll stick to ''Can't Stop the Music''... Because you're probably holding a gun to my head asking for my choice."
[[folder:The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure]]
* Again, the Snob's sheer hatred for the movie, of the EnragedByIdiocy in this case, leads to plenty of laughter.
* The title card, featuring a {{Chibi}} Snob angry at the Oogieloves.
*"If I wanted a song about milkshake, I'll stick to ''Can't Stop the Music''... Because you're probably holding a gun to my head asking for my choice."
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* [[NamesTheSame Brad constantly compares Brad]] to a serial killer/creep.
to:
* [[NamesTheSame Brad constantly compares Brad]] Clay Walsh [[UnfortunateImplications to a serial killer/creep.]]
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Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
* The sad saga of Kung Tai Ted continues as he has now fallen out of his wheelchair, trying to reach for a can Mountain Dew only to find that it's empty.
to:
* The sad saga of Kung Tai Ted continues as he has now fallen out of his wheelchair, wheelchair and is trying to reach for a can of Mountain Dew only to find that it's empty.
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* The sad saga of Kung Tai Ted continues as he has now fallen out of his wheelchair, trying to reach for a can Mountain Dew only to find that it's empty.
-->'''Snob:''' Goddammit! Stop making me sad!
-->'''Snob:''' Goddammit! Stop making me sad!
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Zombie 3]]
* The intro, recapping all other Zombie movies with Snob getting annoyed with each one.
* "And then she became the Joker!"
[[folder:Zombie 3]]
* The intro, recapping all other Zombie movies with Snob getting annoyed with each one.
* "And then she became the Joker!"
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says, "Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and FUCK OFF WITH THAT QUESTION!"
to:
* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says, "Matthew, "[[TheBible Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, John,]] and FUCK OFF WITH THAT QUESTION!"
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Enter the Ninja]]
* "Good! Ninjas killing people! We're back to normal! Cause I guess that's normal for me..."
* The CallBack to ''Film/TheApple''.
* In a scene where two ninjas jump down a waterfall:
-->'''White ninja''': I didn't think this throooough! The water is gonna be very hard to clean out of white!\\
'''Black ninja''': I don't have that probleeeeem!
* Realizing one guy is the grandpa from ''Film/SilentNightDeadlyNight''.
* Adding a comedic bump once the screen goes black.
* The infamous [[ChewingTheScenery "worst death ever"]] brings back Brad's character dying the same way in ''WebVideo/NinjaTheMissionForce''.
[[folder:Enter the Ninja]]
* "Good! Ninjas killing people! We're back to normal! Cause I guess that's normal for me..."
* The CallBack to ''Film/TheApple''.
* In a scene where two ninjas jump down a waterfall:
-->'''White ninja''': I didn't think this throooough! The water is gonna be very hard to clean out of white!\\
'''Black ninja''': I don't have that probleeeeem!
* Realizing one guy is the grandpa from ''Film/SilentNightDeadlyNight''.
* Adding a comedic bump once the screen goes black.
* The infamous [[ChewingTheScenery "worst death ever"]] brings back Brad's character dying the same way in ''WebVideo/NinjaTheMissionForce''.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
* After one of the (Very) awkward dates in the film, [[OutOfCharacterMoment Snob takes off his glasses, signaling this is Brad Jones talking]], telling of how he went on a bad date with a girl years ago where they saw the ThatDarnCat remake. He says that was the better date.
to:
* After one of the (Very) awkward dates in the film, [[OutOfCharacterMoment Snob takes off his glasses, signaling this is Brad Jones talking]], telling of how he went on a bad date with a girl years ago where they saw [[TakeThat the ThatDarnCat remake.That]] [[ThatDarnCat Darn Cat! remake]]. He says that was the better date.
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Changed line(s) 11,13 (click to see context) from:
* After one of the (Very) awkward dates in the film, [[OutOfCharacterMoment Snob takes off his glasses, signaling this is Brad Jones talking]], telling of how he went on a bad date with a girl years ago where he saw the ThatDarnCat remake. He says that was the better date.
* The two times Snob in confusion asks what kind of dates Brad was on is pitch perfect.
* Snob's reaction to Clay's snarky remark after hearing that Amber broke up with her ex, who was abusive.
* The two times Snob in confusion asks what kind of dates Brad was on is pitch perfect.
* Snob's reaction to Clay's snarky remark after hearing that Amber broke up with her ex, who was abusive.
to:
* After one of the (Very) awkward dates in the film, [[OutOfCharacterMoment Snob takes off his glasses, signaling this is Brad Jones talking]], telling of how he went on a bad date with a girl years ago where he they saw the ThatDarnCat remake. He says that was the better date.
* The *The two times Snob in confusion asks what kind of dates Brad was on is pitch perfect.
* Snob's *Snob's reaction to Clay's snarky remark after hearing that Amber broke up with her ex, who was abusive.
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* After one of the (Very) awkward dates in the film, [[OutOfCharacterMoment Snob takes off his glasses, signaling this is Brad Jones talking]], telling of how he went on a bad date with a girl years ago where he saw the ThatDarnCat remake. He says that was the better date.
*The two times Snob in confusion asks what kind of dates Brad was on is pitch perfect.
*Snob's reaction to Clay's snarky remark after hearing that Amber broke up with her ex, who was abusive.
-->'''Snob:''' So she went from a physically abusive relationship... to a emotionally abusive one. :just sighs in disbelief:
*The two times Snob in confusion asks what kind of dates Brad was on is pitch perfect.
*Snob's reaction to Clay's snarky remark after hearing that Amber broke up with her ex, who was abusive.
-->'''Snob:''' So she went from a physically abusive relationship... to a emotionally abusive one. :just sighs in disbelief:
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* When Clay asks Amber how many sexual partners she's had in the past ten years, Brad says, "Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and FUCK OFF WITH THAT QUESTION!"
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----
to:
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*The Snob's sheer hatred for this movie is both this, and [[Awesome/TheCinemaSnob pretty awesome.]]
*[[NamesTheSame Brad constantly compares Brad]] to a serial killer/creep.
*[[NamesTheSame Brad constantly compares Brad]] to a serial killer/creep.
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[[Funny/TheCinemaSnob All]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2007To2009Episodes 2007-09]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2015Episodes 2015]] | '''2016'''
----
[[foldercontrol]]
----
[[folder:Old Fashioned]]
[[/folder]]
----
[[foldercontrol]]
----
[[folder:Old Fashioned]]
[[/folder]]
