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-->'''Menkmack''': You want to know about our history? Sure! We can tell you a whole lot about that! Unless you want it to be true. In which case, we will tell you significantly less.
Changed line(s) 136 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing... and by that I don't mean "something we don't want to talk about", I mean it's ''literally'' a big thing. A moon-sized creature that eats planets! Well, technically, it only eats the atmosphere, but, technically, we need that to breathe, so...\\
to:
Changed line(s) 140 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Menkmack''': I convinced the Drenkend that they all needed to have three ears. ''[very proudly]'' I did this using treachery! [...] So what happened is that my people suddenly found ourselves in possession of a huge cache of fake ears. Now, I know what your next question is going to be. Don't ask. It's a weird galaxy, we found an ear cache, it happens, ''shut up''!
to:
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Changed line(s) 136 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing... and by that I don't mean "something we don't want to talk about", I mean it's ''literally'' a big thing. A moon-sized creature that eats planets! Well, technically, it only eats the atmosphere, but, technically, we need that to breathe, so...
to:
-->'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing... and by that I don't mean "something we don't want to talk about", I mean it's ''literally'' a big thing. A moon-sized creature that eats planets! Well, technically, it only eats the atmosphere, but, technically, we need that to breathe, so...\\
'''Captain''': And why is this creature eating your homeworlds?\\
'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing. And this time I do mean it's something we don't want to talk about, so stop asking.
'''Captain''': And why is this creature eating your homeworlds?\\
'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing. And this time I do mean it's something we don't want to talk about, so stop asking.
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Changed line(s) 129 (click to see context) from:
'''Pinthi captain''': maybe. sounds like something we would do.\\
to:
'''Pinthi captain''': maybe. sounds like something we would might do.\\
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* The Menkmack can be annoying, but if you catch on to their sense of humor...
** Their homeworld is called "New New New Whatever Menkmack" because they've moved it around so much they just can't be bothered with the name anymore. Those travelling away from the homeworld will often admit they're not sure if it's even in the same place anymore.
** Talking about the giant monster that keeps forcing them to relocate their homeworld:
-->'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing... and by that I don't mean "something we don't want to talk about", I mean it's ''literally'' a big thing. A moon-sized creature that eats planets! Well, technically, it only eats the atmosphere, but, technically, we need that to breathe, so...
** One Menkmack explaining the whole [[ItMakesSenseInContext three ears situation]] with the Drenkend:
-->'''Menkmack''': I convinced the Drenkend that they all needed to have three ears. ''[very proudly]'' I did this using treachery! [...] So what happened is that my people suddenly found ourselves in possession of a huge cache of fake ears. Now, I know what your next question is going to be. Don't ask. It's a weird galaxy, we found an ear cache, it happens, ''shut up''!
** Their homeworld is called "New New New Whatever Menkmack" because they've moved it around so much they just can't be bothered with the name anymore. Those travelling away from the homeworld will often admit they're not sure if it's even in the same place anymore.
** Talking about the giant monster that keeps forcing them to relocate their homeworld:
-->'''Menkmack''': It's this whole big thing... and by that I don't mean "something we don't want to talk about", I mean it's ''literally'' a big thing. A moon-sized creature that eats planets! Well, technically, it only eats the atmosphere, but, technically, we need that to breathe, so...
** One Menkmack explaining the whole [[ItMakesSenseInContext three ears situation]] with the Drenkend:
-->'''Menkmack''': I convinced the Drenkend that they all needed to have three ears. ''[very proudly]'' I did this using treachery! [...] So what happened is that my people suddenly found ourselves in possession of a huge cache of fake ears. Now, I know what your next question is going to be. Don't ask. It's a weird galaxy, we found an ear cache, it happens, ''shut up''!
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Changed line(s) 119 (click to see context) from:
** If you ask about his appearance, he comments that he is visible in the first 9 dimensions, skips the next two, and then is visible again for the next 4. When asked why he skips those two, he quips that it makes him look fat. Looks like even an ancient space probe is not immune to body image issues.
to:
** If you ask about his appearance, he comments that he is visible in the first 9 dimensions, skips the next two, 2, and then is visible again for the next 4. When asked why he skips those two, 2, he quips that it makes they make him look fat. Looks like even an ancient space probe is not immune to body image issues.
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** Most of their 'fun facts' are plain nonsensical, obscure trivia, or just flat-out CaptainObvious.
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** If you ask about his appearance, he comments that he is visible in the first 9 dimensions, skips the next two, and then is visible again for the next 4. When asked why he skips those two, he quips that it makes him look fat. Looks like even an ancient space probe is not immune to body image issues.
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** When you bring ''more'' Pinthi to the Mowlings to cure them, introduce them as sapient viruses. The Mowlings cheerfully greet the viruses. . . then ask who wants kisses.
** Jeff notes that, while the Mowlings seem stupid, they aren't. They're just accident-prone. As a result, natural selection works in their favor, making them evolve and advance quickly. He feels bad for how many of them die in stupid accidents, yet admits they're one of the few races who could someday (and that day isn't that far off by his reckoning) pose a threat to him. When you ask if their quick advancement and evolution should mean that they also become less accident-prone, Jeff notes that, while you would think that, it doesn't seem to be the case. Essentially, he's saying the Mowlings have BewareTheSillyOnes [[PlanetOfHats as their hat]].
** Jeff notes that, while the Mowlings seem stupid, they aren't. They're just accident-prone. As a result, natural selection works in their favor, making them evolve and advance quickly. He feels bad for how many of them die in stupid accidents, yet admits they're one of the few races who could someday (and that day isn't that far off by his reckoning) pose a threat to him. When you ask if their quick advancement and evolution should mean that they also become less accident-prone, Jeff notes that, while you would think that, it doesn't seem to be the case. Essentially, he's saying the Mowlings have BewareTheSillyOnes [[PlanetOfHats as their hat]].
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Changed line(s) 106,107 (click to see context) from:
Dialogue Option B: "What!?"\\
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhat What."]]
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhat What."]]
to:
Dialogue Option B: "What!?"\\
"[[BigWhat What!?]]"\\
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhatWhat."]]What]]."
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhat
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Content to Hover''': OH MY! From your question I infer that you creatures perceive in a different spectral range and can see our... well our, er... well, WE can't see them. Ehhh... Ahem... What I mean to say is... they are... well we use them for when [[TheTalk the male and the female]]... ahem. Look, I'd prefer you didn't ask about them, okay? (especially not if front of Sullen Plummet... she's shy.)
to:
-->'''Content to Hover''': OH MY! From your question I infer that you creatures perceive in a different spectral range and can see our... well our, er... well, WE can't see them. Ehhh... Ahem... What I mean to say is... they are... well we use them for when [[TheTalk the male and the female]]... ahem. Look, I'd prefer you didn't ask about them, okay? (especially not if in front of Sullen Plummet... she's shy.)
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This bit gave me a laugh
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* The simple-minded Doog are long frustrated by their "allies", the Daktaklakpak. One such Doog considers them arrogant because of how they communicate:
-->'''Doog''' (about Daktaklakpak): "Saying one: You stoopid!\\
Saying two: Us smart!\\
Saying three: So derefore YOU STOOPID!"
-->'''Doog''' (about Daktaklakpak): "Saying one: You stoopid!\\
Saying two: Us smart!\\
Saying three: So derefore YOU STOOPID!"
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Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Pik:''' ''[to the Zoq]'' So what does all your nicey-nice to the alien get us? Nothing! That's what! You should have done what I said and told him we were the Precursors!
to:
Changed line(s) 33,34 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Captain''': Goodbye, Slylandro gasbags!
-->'''Content to Hover''': Goodbye, human fluid-sack!
-->'''Content to Hover''': Goodbye, human fluid-sack!
to:
Changed line(s) 116 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jeff''': There is a species in this area. A sentient bioweapon. I have seen one of their ships nearby recently. When I asked the Mowlings, they said they had met the bioweapons... and hugged them.
to:
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* Talking to the Pinthi about their having infected the Mowlings can be very funny:
-->'''Captain''': Did you guys infect the Mowlings?\\
'''Pinthi captain''': maybe. sounds like something we would do.\\
[...]\\
'''Captain''': Did you guys infect the Mowlings?\\
'''Pinthi Supercolony''': ''[Too quickly]'' NO! ''[very guilty]'' y-yeeeesssss... we... we have made a mistake...
-->'''Captain''': Did you guys infect the Mowlings?\\
'''Pinthi captain''': maybe. sounds like something we would do.\\
[...]\\
'''Captain''': Did you guys infect the Mowlings?\\
'''Pinthi Supercolony''': ''[Too quickly]'' NO! ''[very guilty]'' y-yeeeesssss... we... we have made a mistake...
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* The Orz's theme perfectly encapsulates just how confusing a conversation with one would be, incorporating a bubbly tune with various soundbites including a confused Franchise/ScoobyDoo grunt. From a meta-perspective this is also likely the ''first'' bit of Star Control media that younger gamers came into contact with since from 2003 to 2008, it was re-used for ''Toys for Bob's intro logo.''
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** You can ask them which one of them is the Fot. The ''Zoq'' and ''Pik'' will start arguing which one of the two of them it is. WordOfGod has confirmed that the guy in the back who never says anything (see above) is in fact the Fot.
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Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
* Combined with CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming and TearJerker: The Yehat ''[[CutenessProximity gush]]'' over the young Shofixti you send them like a proud parent over a baby.
to:
* Combined with CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments and TearJerker: The Yehat ''[[CutenessProximity gush]]'' over the young Shofixti you send them like a proud parent over a baby.
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* When it's revealed that the Ancient One has an egg, the Captain can ask the Greegrox what exactly you would call a [[OxymoronicBeing young Ancient One]].
-->'''Greegrox''': Do not mock us, metal vessel!
-->'''Greegrox''': Do not mock us, metal vessel!
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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
* The simple fact that the Mowlings' god is named "Jeff".
to:
* The simple fact that the Mowlings' god is named "Jeff". [[spoiler:Full name "Jefftopher".]]
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* The simple fact that the Mowlings' god is named "Jeff".
** After the first meeting, Jeff will always greet the Captain with some variation of "I'm still Jeff", as though that would have changed.
** The Mowlings tried to send a rocket ship to blow up an incoming asteroid... and crashed into it. Their second plan? Build a giant paddle and swat the asteroid away!
** How the Mowlings got their cough:
-->'''Jeff''': There is a species in this area. A sentient bioweapon. I have seen one of their ships nearby recently. When I asked the Mowlings, they said they had met the bioweapons... and hugged them.
** After the first meeting, Jeff will always greet the Captain with some variation of "I'm still Jeff", as though that would have changed.
** The Mowlings tried to send a rocket ship to blow up an incoming asteroid... and crashed into it. Their second plan? Build a giant paddle and swat the asteroid away!
** How the Mowlings got their cough:
-->'''Jeff''': There is a species in this area. A sentient bioweapon. I have seen one of their ships nearby recently. When I asked the Mowlings, they said they had met the bioweapons... and hugged them.
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* Talking to the Tywom about the time they asked the Mu'Kay to create an artificial human "meat puppet".
-->'''Tywom''': Oh. That. It's... more innocent than it looks.\\
'''Captain''': This had better not be a sex thing, Tywom.\\
'''Tywom''': It's not! It's not a sex thing! ...okay, one guy... ONE GUY wanted to make it a sex thing! But we didn't listen to him!
-->'''Tywom''': Oh. That. It's... more innocent than it looks.\\
'''Captain''': This had better not be a sex thing, Tywom.\\
'''Tywom''': It's not! It's not a sex thing! ...okay, one guy... ONE GUY wanted to make it a sex thing! But we didn't listen to him!
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[[folder:Star Control 2]]
Deleted line(s) 41 (click to see context) :
* "I'M BEING MOLESTIFIED!". Said by surrendering K'tang king.
Changed line(s) 90 (click to see context) from:
** His attempt to not seem ''too'' overjoyed by the mission you give him, instead stoically treating it as a matter of honor. Said mission is to repopulate his species with multiple nubile females.
to:
** His attempt to not seem ''too'' overjoyed by the mission you give him, instead stoically treating it as a matter of honor. Said mission is to repopulate his species with multiple nubile females.females.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Star Control 3]]
* "I'M BEING MOLESTIFIED!". Said by surrendering K'tang king.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Star Control Origins]]
* The Captain's reaction to being called "sexy" by Wymdoo.
-->Dialogue Option A: "What?"\\
Dialogue Option B: "What!?"\\
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhat What."]]
** Wymdoo's response: "Oh... that's weird. [[BlatantLies Probably a translation error.]] That happens sometimes. Anytime we say something weird, that'll be a translation error."
* The first time you turn on a Starbase:
-->'''Starbase AI''': Language calibration complete. Natural communication now possible with an accuracy of 95 ponkdonk... percent.
* The Star Control Commander lists "all those disappearing giraffes" as evidence for alien interference early in the game. Later you encounter a Precursor Starbase that explains that [[spoiler:giraffes evolve naturally on 45% of all life-bearing worlds, and generally all vanish without explanation when the dominant species reaches a certain level of development.]] It also points out that this is ridiculous.
[[/folder]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Star Control 3]]
* "I'M BEING MOLESTIFIED!". Said by surrendering K'tang king.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Star Control Origins]]
* The Captain's reaction to being called "sexy" by Wymdoo.
-->Dialogue Option A: "What?"\\
Dialogue Option B: "What!?"\\
Dialogue Option C: "[[FlatWhat What."]]
** Wymdoo's response: "Oh... that's weird. [[BlatantLies Probably a translation error.]] That happens sometimes. Anytime we say something weird, that'll be a translation error."
* The first time you turn on a Starbase:
-->'''Starbase AI''': Language calibration complete. Natural communication now possible with an accuracy of 95 ponkdonk... percent.
* The Star Control Commander lists "all those disappearing giraffes" as evidence for alien interference early in the game. Later you encounter a Precursor Starbase that explains that [[spoiler:giraffes evolve naturally on 45% of all life-bearing worlds, and generally all vanish without explanation when the dominant species reaches a certain level of development.]] It also points out that this is ridiculous.
[[/folder]]
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-->"And in case you're wondering, I'm not going with you, Captain. I'm staying on board with the bomb. Why, you ask? [[spoiler:BECAUSE I'M LOCKED IN HERE -- THAT'S WHY! HELP!!!]]"
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** The fact that the UniversalTranslator results in both the Supox and the Humans claiming to be from Earth, which in either language basically means "dirt." Note that the Supox Earth is on the opposite corner of the map from the human Earth.
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Supox''': Yes. This has been confirmed by our people as well. Strange, is it not? Many of our people regard this inconsistency as proof of our divine origin.
to:
-->'''Supox''': Yes. [[MindScrew This has been confirmed by our people as well. well.]] Strange, is it not? Many of our people regard this inconsistency as proof of our divine origin.
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
Die, you two-eyed loathsome faceless slug!
to:
Die, you two-eyed loathsome faceless slug!slug!
* The surviving Shofixti captain Tanaka is pretty amusing, screaming juvenile insults at you (his sensors are down and he mistakes you for Ur-Quan), and attacking despite the fact that his ship is without its Glory Device, he has only one crew member (himself), and his primary weapon is pathetic. Depending on how many crew pods your ship is equipped with, you could sit there for several minutes while he attacks you before he makes a dent. And the successful way to win him over is to repeatedly insult him and then flee his attacks; Ur-Quan are polite, so he'll finally realize you aren't them if you do it enough times.
** His attempt to not seem ''too'' overjoyed by the mission you give him, instead stoically treating it as a matter of honor. Said mission is to repopulate his species with multiple nubile females.
* The surviving Shofixti captain Tanaka is pretty amusing, screaming juvenile insults at you (his sensors are down and he mistakes you for Ur-Quan), and attacking despite the fact that his ship is without its Glory Device, he has only one crew member (himself), and his primary weapon is pathetic. Depending on how many crew pods your ship is equipped with, you could sit there for several minutes while he attacks you before he makes a dent. And the successful way to win him over is to repeatedly insult him and then flee his attacks; Ur-Quan are polite, so he'll finally realize you aren't them if you do it enough times.
** His attempt to not seem ''too'' overjoyed by the mission you give him, instead stoically treating it as a matter of honor. Said mission is to repopulate his species with multiple nubile females.
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Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
'''Chmmr:''' NO.
to:
'''Chmmr:''' NO.NO[[note]]NEGATIVE in the PC version[[/note]].
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Changed line(s) 80 (click to see context) from:
and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.
to:
and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.\\
\\
This is VUX Commander YAX. On behalf of the team here\\
I would like to say how very much we have all enjoyed taunting you\\
and to congratulate you on plumbing the limits of VUX courtesy\\
which you have now exhausted. Therefore, let me just say\\
Die, you two-eyed loathsome faceless slug!
\\
This is VUX Commander YAX. On behalf of the team here\\
I would like to say how very much we have all enjoyed taunting you\\
and to congratulate you on plumbing the limits of VUX courtesy\\
which you have now exhausted. Therefore, let me just say\\
Die, you two-eyed loathsome faceless slug!
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
* If you go to the enslaved Umgah homeword without the Taalo Shield, you'll be psychically compelled to fly into Ur-Quan space (The Ur-Quan will let you go if you tell them about what happened). What's so funny about this? [[TooDumbToLive You can go straight back to the Umgah Homeword, again without the Taalo Shield]] and then get sent to Ur-Quan space again. The Ur-Quan are not amused by this.
to:
* The Ur-Quan Kzer-Za has several funny moments, despite their EvilOverlord status. Contrast with their Kohr-Ah cousins, [[NoNonsenseNemesis who has little to no funny quips.]]
** If you go to the enslaved Umgah homeword without the Taalo Shield, you'll be psychically compelled to fly into Ur-Quan space (The Ur-Quan will let you go if you tell them about what happened). What's so funny about this? [[TooDumbToLive You can go straight back to the Umgah Homeword, again without the Taalo Shield]] and then get sent to Ur-Quan space again. The Ur-Quan are not amused by this.
** If you go to the enslaved Umgah homeword without the Taalo Shield, you'll be psychically compelled to fly into Ur-Quan space (The Ur-Quan will let you go if you tell them about what happened). What's so funny about this? [[TooDumbToLive You can go straight back to the Umgah Homeword, again without the Taalo Shield]] and then get sent to Ur-Quan space again. The Ur-Quan are not amused by this.
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--> "You boldly enter our space! Approach this Dreadnought as though it were a recreation base and then play the dumb hominid? Who do you take us for, Captain... Spathi!?"
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Changed line(s) 58 (click to see context) from:
* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...
to:
* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...however...
* [[JerkassDissonance Some wonder why the VUX are popular]], despite being hypocritical bigots. Might be due to their... [[HilarityEnsues unorthodox]] greetings when they're about to kill you.
-->Welcome to the end of your life, courtesy of VUX technology.\\
Our infinite supply of Intruder vessels is even now locking their vaporizers onto your position\\
and we shall end your painful, grotesque existence for you as soon as possible.\\
In the meantime, here is a little music...\\
\\
Salutations, and may your sense of self-preservation always be so dim.\\
As our Intruders surround your vessel, you may care to raise both hands into the air above you\\
and practice the ancient chant of the prancing oowee master, ZEN DUX, which begins...\\
`AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!'\\
\\
Welcome back to total annihilation, where, as they say\\
once is silatious, twice is phlagrant melons\\
but the third time is when it really hurts.\\
Please stay seated until your vessel starts smoking\\
then feel free to dash your head painfully against the floor.\\
\\
Congratulations for exhausting the VUX vocabulary of greetings to despicable life-forms.\\
May we take this opportunity to lock our femoral scrapers onto your ship\\
and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.
* [[JerkassDissonance Some wonder why the VUX are popular]], despite being hypocritical bigots. Might be due to their... [[HilarityEnsues unorthodox]] greetings when they're about to kill you.
-->Welcome to the end of your life, courtesy of VUX technology.\\
Our infinite supply of Intruder vessels is even now locking their vaporizers onto your position\\
and we shall end your painful, grotesque existence for you as soon as possible.\\
In the meantime, here is a little music...\\
\\
Salutations, and may your sense of self-preservation always be so dim.\\
As our Intruders surround your vessel, you may care to raise both hands into the air above you\\
and practice the ancient chant of the prancing oowee master, ZEN DUX, which begins...\\
`AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!'\\
\\
Welcome back to total annihilation, where, as they say\\
once is silatious, twice is phlagrant melons\\
but the third time is when it really hurts.\\
Please stay seated until your vessel starts smoking\\
then feel free to dash your head painfully against the floor.\\
\\
Congratulations for exhausting the VUX vocabulary of greetings to despicable life-forms.\\
May we take this opportunity to lock our femoral scrapers onto your ship\\
and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
'''Chmmr:''' NO.
to:
'''Chmmr:''' NO.NO.
* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...
* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...
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Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Yehat:''' Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws! Our children have returned from oblivion!
to:
-->'''Yehat:''' Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws! Our children have returned from oblivion!oblivion!
* Discussing your battle plan with the Chmmr.
-->'''Captain:''' We'll fire this weapon at the Sa-Matra, right? It's not going to hurt my ship, is it?\\
'''Chmmr:''' YOUR VESSEL WILL BE TOTALLY ANNIHILATED.\\
'''Captain:''' Whoa. Gee, that's bad. I don't suppose there's anything we can do to change that, is there?\\
'''Chmmr:''' NO.
* Discussing your battle plan with the Chmmr.
-->'''Captain:''' We'll fire this weapon at the Sa-Matra, right? It's not going to hurt my ship, is it?\\
'''Chmmr:''' YOUR VESSEL WILL BE TOTALLY ANNIHILATED.\\
'''Captain:''' Whoa. Gee, that's bad. I don't suppose there's anything we can do to change that, is there?\\
'''Chmmr:''' NO.
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** He also makes numerous demands for his comfort, like changing out the Mozart and Iggy Pop on loop in the hold, thermal blankets and pillows, fresh meat and vegetables, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick crew members to play with]].
