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'''Harry:''' Open your map, and look at the ''big area'' that has a giant red circle around it.\\
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* One part of the video features Cyanide repeatedly singing "Music/JasonDerulo", with the pitch getting increasingly higher. This culminates in Cyanide shrieking it out loud, and is illustrated by the captions spinning like a helicopter rotor and flying away.
* Speaking of helicopters, the pilot for one bugs out and hovers over the LZ. Dinkle jokingly tells Mag to double tap v to rappel down, but Harry joins him, jumping off the aircraft and getting wounded from the fall. Quebec decides to investigate... by jumping out himself. Social, Digi, and Dinkle proceed to jump out when it becomes clear that the chopper won't land, with Womble himself joining them shortly afterwards.
* Before entering a cave system, Womble snacks on a donut, but spills some of the jam onto his mouse.
-->'''Digby:''' Once he's, err... stopped experiencing "[[{{Pun}} jamming]]", he can go down there.
* Speaking of helicopters, the pilot for one bugs out and hovers over the LZ. Dinkle jokingly tells Mag to double tap v to rappel down, but Harry joins him, jumping off the aircraft and getting wounded from the fall. Quebec decides to investigate... by jumping out himself. Social, Digi, and Dinkle proceed to jump out when it becomes clear that the chopper won't land, with Womble himself joining them shortly afterwards.
* Before entering a cave system, Womble snacks on a donut, but spills some of the jam onto his mouse.
-->'''Digby:''' Once he's, err... stopped experiencing "[[{{Pun}} jamming]]", he can go down there.
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* Digby tries to explain a sabotage mission involving planting spiked ammo boxes, but gets interrupted.
-->'''Harry:''' Where- so, where are we going?\\
''(The rest of ZF laughs)''\\
'''Harry:''' Open your map, and look at the ''big area'' that has a giant red circle around it.\\
''(Dinkle repeatedly circles the map for emphasis)''\\
'''Harry:''' Ooohhh!\\
'''Digby:''' We're supposed to be special forces, and I feel like we're leaning very heavy on the "[[StealthInsult special]]".
-->'''Harry:''' Where- so, where are we going?\\
''(The rest of ZF laughs)''\\
'''Harry:''' Open your map, and look at the ''big area'' that has a giant red circle around it.\\
''(Dinkle repeatedly circles the map for emphasis)''\\
'''Harry:''' Ooohhh!\\
'''Digby:''' We're supposed to be special forces, and I feel like we're leaning very heavy on the "[[StealthInsult special]]".
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-->'''ZF:''' Womble?\\
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'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my chat.\\
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'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the napalm.\\
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'''Womble:''' yep?\\
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my chat\\
'''Womble:''' which is?\\
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the napalm\\
'''Womble:''' oh, fuck me
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my chat\\
'''Womble:''' which is?\\
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the napalm\\
'''Womble:''' oh, fuck me
to:
'''Womble:''' yep?\\
Yep?\\
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from mychat\\
chat.\\
'''Womble:'''which Which is?\\
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found thenapalm\\
napalm.\\
'''Womble:'''oh, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, fuck meme]].
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my
'''Womble:'''
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the
'''Womble:'''
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--->'''ZF:''' Womble?\\
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[[/folder]]
!Vietnam
[[folder:Vietnam]]
* The video starts appropriately.
--->'''ZF:''' Womble?\\
'''Womble:''' yep?\\
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my chat\\
'''Womble:''' which is?\\
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the napalm\\
'''Womble:''' oh, fuck me
!Vietnam
[[folder:Vietnam]]
* The video starts appropriately.
--->'''ZF:''' Womble?\\
'''Womble:''' yep?\\
'''ZF:''' I've received some grave news from my chat\\
'''Womble:''' which is?\\
'''ZF:''' Cyanide's found the napalm\\
'''Womble:''' oh, fuck me
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* The climax of the video is a sight to behold: one of Womble's teammates spawns in a HumongousMecha and tests it out for a while, then parks it so they can listen to the briefing. Womble subsequently sneaks off and takes said mech for a joyride. Cue the MassOhCrap from his teammates while he tramples them and [[Theatre/PeerGynt In the Hall of the Mountain King]] plays in the background.
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* Soviet, referencing the time [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cyanide was catfished]] in Part 6:
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* Soviet, referencing the time [[ItMakesSenseInContext [[OnceDoneNeverForgotten Cyanide was catfished]] in Part 6:
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'''Cyanide''': You put an anti-tank mine on ''the fucking main road!''\\
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'''Cyanide''': You put an anti-tank mine on ''the fucking main road!''\\road?''\\
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'''Cyanide''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THE MAIN! FUCKING! ROAD!]] YOU PUT AN ANTI-TANK MINE ON THE MAIN FUCKING ROAD THAT CIVILIANS USE! '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis HOW! FUCKING! DUMB! ARE YOU?!]]'''\\
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'''Cyanide''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis [[SuddenlyShouting THE MAIN! FUCKING! MAIN FUCKING ROAD!]] YOU PUT AN ANTI-TANK MINE ON THE MAIN FUCKING ROAD THAT CIVILIANS USE! '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis HOW! FUCKING! DUMB! ARE YOU?!]]'''\\
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'''Cyanide''': [--[[DeadpanSnarker Why do you think my voice is muffled, Digby!?]]--]
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'''Cyanide''': [--[[DeadpanSnarker Why do you think my voice is muffled, Digby!?]]--]Digby!?]]--]\\
'''[=KayJay=]''': Yeah, holy shit! It's like Joey in ''Friends'' when he had the turkey on his face.
'''[=KayJay=]''': Yeah, holy shit! It's like Joey in ''Friends'' when he had the turkey on his face.
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* As they were doing the Pamphlets mission, they discover accidentally that the text is readable. And all of it is basically Anti-British Conservative propaganda. They are totally on board with distributing these pamphlets.
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* As they were doing the Pamphlets mission, they discover accidentally that the text is readable. And all of it is basically Anti-British Conservative propaganda. [[AcceptableTargets They are totally on board with distributing these pamphlets.pamphlets]].
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-->'''Womble''': Sit still--right. You might feel a slight sloshing sensation around your feet.\\
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-->'''Womble''': Take fuel nozzle, and then I'm gonna go over here, connect fuel nozzle, right, there we go. ''(chuckles)'' Sit still--right. You might feel a slight sloshing sensation around your feet.\\
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** And while they're there, they go get some snacks.
--->'''Moogle''': I want a packet of crisps! Quavers! Get me some [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quavers Quavers.]]\\
'''Womble''': Is it the prawn & cocktail Quavers?\\
'''Moogle''': YEAH. YEAAAAH.\\
''(Quebec returns)''\\
'''Quebec''': They were lovely. I got ten sticks of epi.[[note]](epinephrene)[[/note]]\\
'''Womble''': Yeah? ''(laughs)'' They're selling epipens in there? They don't sell epipens in my local, yeah.
--->'''Moogle''': I want a packet of crisps! Quavers! Get me some [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quavers Quavers.]]\\
'''Womble''': Is it the prawn & cocktail Quavers?\\
'''Moogle''': YEAH. YEAAAAH.\\
''(Quebec returns)''\\
'''Quebec''': They were lovely. I got ten sticks of epi.[[note]](epinephrene)[[/note]]\\
'''Womble''': Yeah? ''(laughs)'' They're selling epipens in there? They don't sell epipens in my local, yeah.
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--> '''Cyanide''': Double tapped {{Your Mom}} last night. ''(begins spinning around while yawning)''
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--> '''Cyanide''': Double tapped {{Your Mom}} last night. OOOOOOHHHHHHH ''(begins spinning around while yawning)''around)''
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--> '''Cyanide''': Fair.
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--> '''Cyanide''': Fair.[[LaserGuidedKarma Fair]].
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-->'''Womble:''' Wait, hang on, he's with the ''[[AcceptableTargets Daily Mail!]]'' [opens fire]\\
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-->'''Womble:''' Wait, hang on, he's with the ''[[AcceptableTargets Daily Mail!]]'' ''Daily Mail!'' [opens fire]\\
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* Cyanide steals Katla's car. This lasts until Cyanide is lying wounded on the ground...at which point mrbatty steals Katla's car. Subsequently, Cyanide blows it up with their only bomb, during a raid so ill-planned that Soviet is the only one with an actual gun.
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* Cyanide steals Katla's car. This lasts until Cyanide is lying wounded on the ground...at which point mrbatty steals Katla's car. Subsequently, Cyanide blows it up with their only bomb, during a raid so ill-planned that Soviet is the only one with an actual gun.([[ItWorksBetterWithBullets working)]] gun.
** During the approach of the raid, Batty and Soviet take time out to fat shame Cyanide. This is done by pointing at Cy and [[YouAreFat calling him fat repeatedly]].
** During the approach of the raid, Batty and Soviet take time out to fat shame Cyanide. This is done by pointing at Cy and [[YouAreFat calling him fat repeatedly]].
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-->'''Womble:''' Do what men do? ''Get shot?!''\\
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-->'''Womble:''' Do "Do what men do? do?" ''Get shot?!''\\shot?!'' ''(looks over at Nevil to see him slumped over)''\\
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[[Funny/SovietWomble Main Page]]
[[foldercontrol]]
[[foldercontrol]]
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[[folder: Part 9]]
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[[folder: Part 9]]9: Antistasi]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 1/5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 1/5]]1 / 5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 2/5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 2/5]]2 / 5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 3/5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 3/5]]3 / 5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 4/5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 4/5]]4 / 5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 5/5]]
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[[folder: Antistasi Part 5/5]]5 / 5]]
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![=Arma3=] Bullshittery
[[folder: Part 1]]
* [[EstablishingSeriesMoment The very first scene]] has the ZF clan on a night mission climbing up a hill, but Gambit is behind because he's slowly crawling/slowly scooting forward. Cyanide joins him, and they decide to have a race, complete with another member using his laser sight as a finishing line. ''Then'', as Cyanide draws near and complains about how the line is slanted against him, Gambit [[DisproportionateRetribution simply shoots him]] and wins.
-->'''Soviet:''' And it's a photo finish!
** In the same mission, they manage to successfully take down a helicopter using a turret. As they're laughing and congratulating each other:
-->'''Soviet''': Ahh, [[OhCrap that wasn't friendly, was it?]]\\
'''Teammate''': I hope not. ''(laughs)''
* As Soviet gathers intel at a target location, Cyanide nervously notices something and asks "Why have we called for [[DeathFromAbove fire support]] at 225199?" ''[[MassOhCrap Their current location.]]''
-->'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Team 1! Team 1, fucking scatter! Team 1, fucking scatter, now!]]
* Shortly after the above, Soviet summarises both Team 1 (Consisting of himself, Kaffe, Pozzie and Quebec) as the "heavy fire and assault squad" and Team 2 (Consisting of Cyanide and Gambit) as the "squad that dicks around and fucks the other team when they're not looking", complete with individual summaries, with Soviet's being a self ego boost while Cyanide is referred as a "curry eating, [[TeamKiller teamkilling]] fucktard" and Gambit is referred as a "[[CrossingTheLineTwice clone of motherfucking Hermann Goring]]"
* The clan heads out in a truck, which they all treat as a wild joyride, complete with gleefully jumping over a steel fence. Then they collide head-on with an enemy vehicle, which flips them all ''backwards''.
-->'''Saggy:''' inb4 we flip and all die
* The team lays low in the grass as enemy soldiers are nearby and scouting the area. The game's ArtificialStupidity rears its hilarious head as ''several'' enemies walk into a prone teammate and even push his model around without noticing him.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 2]]
* Cyanide lays waste to an enemy base with a fighter jet, but as he begins pulling back up, his game crashes. Instead of continuing to fly forward, though, [[GoodBadBugs the jet just stops completely in mid-air.]]
** Womble, still suitably unnerved by a jet sitting in midair with no pilot and the engines at full blast, makes a suggestion that they should move away from the jet before [[TemptingFate something else happens,]] to which Cyanide's abandoned jet responds by remembering how physics work and plowing full-throttle into the ground only yards from Womble's position - with [[StuffBlowingUp explosive results.]]
** Later, Cyanide attempts to use the bridge to an island the rest of the group is heading to as a runway to land. [[StuffBlowingUp He explodes spectacularly on impact.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': I [[ExactWords technically]] landed!
* The gang is hanging around an old church, waiting for Rousch to deliver a sermon. As they begin getting comfortable, [[TheGadfly one of them throws a live frag grenade at the podium]], and they all have to flee... except Rousch, who ends up completely unharmed from [[NoOneShouldSurviveThat hiding]] ''[[NoOneShouldSurviveThat behind]]'' [[NoOneShouldSurviveThat the podium,]] practically sitting on the grenade when it exploded.
--> '''Rotary''': [[ThereIsAGod It's a sign of god!]]
* Soviet brings scuba diving gear on a land mission. While he gets downed pretty quickly, he's inexplicably unable to be revived, and more notably, [[GoodBadBugs appears to be completely invincible until he bleeds out.]] Several shots [[TheGadfly by Cyanide]], multiple close-range grenades, and even more direct shots from a truck-mounted machine gun [[MadeOfIron all completely fail to kill him.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 3]]
* Soviet's confusion over Cyanide mentioning that "Creator/GalGadot is [[Film/WonderWoman2017 Wonder Woman]]", thinking the name "Galga-dot" is of a ''Franchise/{{Godzilla}}'' villain. When Cyanide noted that Gal Gadot isn't a common name, Womble replies, "Nor is Mothra".
* Soviet has a joyride on an ATV suspended by several long cables attached to a ''flying helicopter'', set to the theme of ''Series/ReadingRainbow'', until [[TooDumbToLive the pilot decides attempts to do a mid-air loop.]]
* The incredibly chaotic event where [[HopeSpot just as the team is about to leave a mission site]], an enemy tank appears out of nowhere and utterly devastates the crew. As Soviet is left in the red, he notices an anti-tank launcher, limps towards it, the tank turns around and spots him, [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl he frantically screams]] as he fumbles as it comes barrelling towards him, and then the scene [[MoodWhiplash abruptly smash-cuts to something completely different.]]
* In the lobby, we're treated to a long portion of [[DreadfulMusician Cyanide's dreadful singing]], which Soviet asks the audience to keep in mind before he introduces Edberg, who sings a surprisingly well-done rendition of [[Music/{{Queen}} "Bohemian Rhapsody".]] Cyanide's response?
--> '''Cyanide''': [[BlatantLies He learned how to sing from me.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 4]]
* As a group's helicopter lands on a slope of a rather steep hill, Chinny reports that he can't get out of it and his camera is stuck. [[WithFriendsLikeThese Everyone else decides to push the helicopter down the hill]], and when it reaches the bottom, [[StuffBlowingUp it explodes with him in it.]]
* The clan installs the [[RadioVoice Task Force Radio mod]], which Soviet almost instantly regrets once [[WalkieTalkieGagOver everyone overuses "over" and "copy that"]], they use it while in close proximity to the people they're talking to, and realize they can all [[SensoryAbuse change the volume of their voices to "Yelling."]]
--> '''Echo''': If you want to change channel, use your numpad on the keyboard.\\
'''Quebec''': What if I don't have a numpad?\\
'''Echo''': [[DeadpanSnarker Then you're poor.]]
* As Soviet assembles a squad, when he calls for an LAV driver, Chinny calls out from what sounds like the other side of the room from his mic. To his surprise, he returns with Soviet actually having listed him.
--> '''Chinny''': Oh, you 'eard me?\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, you screamed across the room.\\
'''Chinny''': [[TooMuchInformation I was out shitter!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 5]]
* As Soviet debriefs his squad on the mission, Cyanide gets bored and shoves a mine detector in his face mid-lecture. His confusion is already hilarious, but then others start following in, then Cyanide instead pretends it's a selfie stick, to which everyone, [[NotSoAboveItAll Soviet included]], decides to join in for, complete with a title card resembling a real life military group selfie.
* ''(while in a helicopter)'' "Can we not be 5 metres from the ocean surface, please?"
--> '''Cyanide''': I really like dolphins, I really wanna see one!
--> '''Passenger Soldier:''' ''Lower, please!''
* Soviet and Cyanide's mundane amusement at the "next-gen hand gestures" of an AI officer giving a debrief at the base.
** It's even better than that. That officer giving them the debrief is the "Game Master" of [=Arma3=]'s Zeus Mode, meaning he's an ''actual player'' -- Quebec, to be more specific.
* Soviet having to convince Cyanide that he needs to help rescue the hostages before he can [[SkewedPriorities play with the digger]] they found. Eventually he gets Cyanide to move by promising him that he can bring the hostages back and show them the digger.
** Then the squad finds a larger digger, and they all go up it, except for Cyanide who Soviet ordered to stay on a hill.
-->'''Soviet:''' Aw man, this digger is amazing, isn't it, Ross? Isn't this the greatest digger [[TemptingFate you've ever seen]]?\\
''(Bullet flies by him)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[OhCrap Okay]], he's [[DisproportionateRetribution shooting at us]]! Cyanide is shooting at us!
* When Cyanide is put in charge of a squad, he expresses annoyance with their improper positioning, [[BadBoss tossing a grenade and killing three of them as they bunch up together just to give them a lesson about spacing.]]
* "It's really fucking simple. I wouldn't recommend shooting at me, because your gun goes pew pew but my fucking gun goes..." '[[MoreDakka 30mm Gatling Gun]] whirring'
* Cyanide attempting to impose Zen on the server:
-->'''Cyanide''': SHUT THE FUCK UP! [[HypocriticalHumor I'm trying to impose Zen, you dumb bitch]]!\\
'''Random 1''': Woooooooooo...\\
'''Random 2''': Weeengwoooo...\\
'''Cyanide''': '''''[[SensoryAbuse BZZZZBBZZZBZZBXZBZZXZXZBZZZXZZZZT]]!!!'''''\\
'''Soviet''': AAAAHHHH!!! Owwwww...\\
'''Cyanide''': I win!\\
'''Soviet''': There were no winners in this contest!
* The naming antics of Gambit, [[CrossesTheLineTwice who names himself "Gas Chamber", then later "Auschwitz".]] '''''[[RefugeInAudacity HE'S GERMAN.]]'''''
* "All callsigns, this is Crossroads, be advised. The paramilitary forces in the area have been alerted to your, uh, pre... ''(stammers)'' [[PorkyPigPronunciation pre-pre-pr-pr-pr-pre...]] ''(frustrated)'' [[PorkyPigPronunciation THEY'RE COMING."]]
--> '''Soviet''': (''audibly amused'') Understood, Crossroads.\\
'''Crossroads''': Suck a cock.
* Soviet tries out some new 40mm rounds. He shoots Zodiac point blank with a buckshot round, and [[EpicFail it does nothing]]. Then this happens:
-->'''Soviet:''' So this is something called a stun grenade.\\
''(Shoots grenade at Zodiac, it hits him and just drops to the ground)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[TemptingFate Completely fucking usele]]--''(Grenade goes off)''ARRGHH!!
* Soviet's confusion towards nearby bird calls while in a jungle, which he then realizes is just a teammate through the radio. This culminates in a BrickJoke later:
--> '''Soviet:''' Did you get that?\\
'''Teammate 1:''' ''(whistles)''\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Teammate 2:''' Was that a bird?\\
'''Soviet:''' Urgh, just don't ask.
* The glorious FailureMontage showing ''[[EpicFail 24 ZF members]]'' [[EpicFail getting wasted in a single mission (at least 6 of which died from friendly fire according to the killfeed)]], all while [[SoundtrackDissonance "Moving On Up" by M People plays in the background]].
-->'''Womble''': Jesus, is it just you and me, Aizen?\\
'''Aizen''': Didn't we have more!?\\
'''Womble''': [[RedShirt We had like 12 guys! What happened to the 12 guys we had in our squad 10 minutes ago]]!?
** During the montage:
--->'''Katla''': [[TemptingFate There might be mines in the area.]] ''(explosion, instantly killing 3)''\\
'''Zodiac''': [[OhCrap No! Don't]]-- ''([[KilledMidSentence friendly fire explosion]], killing 4)''
--->'''Soviet''': Christ, 2 guys just got wasted [[BrickJoke because of spacing]].
* The introduction to [[TheUnintelligible Holy'N'Evil/Nevil.]]
--> '''Soviet''': You okay, Nevil? Are you alright?\\
'''Nevil''': Eid new bange on myself?\\
'''Soviet''': Sorry?\\
'''Nevil''': I have bandage but I don't know why I gonda ad bandage do add for some reason.[[labelnote:*]]Possibly: I have a bandage in my inventory, but for some reason I am unable to use it on myself.[[/labelnote]]\\
''({{beat}})''\\
'''Soviet''': Is he speaking English?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Who's still alive in my squad?\\
'''Teammate''': Joep and uh, this guy that can't speak English.\\
'''Nevil''': I cam speek Enlish okay!?\\
'''Soviet''': "She sells sea shells on the sea shore."\\
'''Nevil''': Doeysell on da seesaw?\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Soviet''': Right, that's good enough.
* The squad's annoyance with [=CartonWaffle=] using the radio to broadcast the sounds of himself eating.
--> '''Cyanide''': [=CartonWaffle=], please stay off the radio, you're using a lot of unnecessary chatter.\\
''(radio turns on)''\\
'''[=CartonWaffle=]''': Umm...\\
''[[IResembleThatRemark (radio turns off)]]''
* Cyanide gives a briefing of the new base he finished designing for the clan to use, but asks for a moment of downtime when many of the objects bug out and are floating. Womble and the others think it's still functional and shrug it off, up until one of them gets in a vehicle that [[GoodBadBugs immediately flips out and explodes.]]
* Soviet gets a helium balloon for his birthday. [[HeliumSpeech You can guess the rest.]]
-->'''Soviet:''' ''(in a high-pitched voice)'' Fuck you Cyanide!
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 6]]
* The first clip features a teammate attempting to take down a helicopter with a rocket launcher, but misses... because he isn't carrying one. But then:
--> '''Soviet''': Yeah, obviously, because your rocket launcher is imaginary. ''(brief zoon on Niko's character model holding a rocket launcher that failed to render, making it look like he's just pantomiming holding one)'' [[SarcasmMode Did you make an imaginary miss against the very real helicopter]] that just... [[DoubleTake crashed into the building?]]\\
'''Niko''': See? See?!\\
'''Soviet''': Wait, [[ThisBananaIsArmed so your imaginary rocket just hit]]?!\\
'''Niko''': [[BeyondTheImpossible Yes!]]\\
'''Soviet''': What sort of loopy-land have I entered?!\\
'''Niko''': [[WeirdnessCoupon It's Russia, dude.]]\\
'''Whitey''': ''(pops in from offscreen)'' Welcome to Greybeard's server. ''(leaves)''
** If you take a closer look at the chat, you'll see that someone, presumably the pilot of said helicopter, says that [[IMeantToDoThat they meant to land on the building.]] Still, it's absolutely perfect timing.
* Soviet adoration of the gestures of debriefing officers continues from the last part, which gets amped up where the character played by Zeus [[ArtificialStupidity goes wonky and gets stuck in a loop giving debriefing motions in a jungle with nobody around.]]
-->'''zix7''': Can I shoot him?\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, shoot him.\\
''(everyone guns him down)''\\
'''Zeus''': ''(over the radio)'' What the fuck was that?\\
'''Soviet''': [[BlatantLies Nothing!]]
* In one briefing, Quebec (as a Zeus player) dresses as the general the squad is meant to kill for an objective, and says [[TemptingFate "If you kill this guy, you're good to go."]] Soviet shoots Quebec-as-the-general in the head [[ExactWords and declares the mission complete.]]
* "Hi, [[TheUnintelligible Nevil!]]" "Fuck you."
-->'''Soviet''': ''(after a squad leader disconnects in the middle of a mission)'' Nevil, you're in command.\\
'''Nevil''': Sonarifrity, err, bat bat, errr, long ray radio if you cam.\\
'''Edberg''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, shit.]]\\
\\
'''Nevil''': Err Sovie, salmon be ee go ray?\\
'''Soviet''': Sorry, could you repeat, please?\\
'''Nevil''': Sov bacon, find salmon, can yee both go red.\\
'''Soviet''': Find salmon and go red?\\
'''Nevil''': ''YOU'' and salmon.\\
'''Soviet''': Oh, me and Samming go red team, copy.\\
\\
'''Teammate 2''': Nevil, can you repeat last, please?\\
'''Nevil''': No glue!\\
'''Soviet''': We've got no glue.\\
\\
'''Nevil''': Cy yeah go full butt to butt queue medic don't need to go on the frump.\\
\\
'''Nevil''': If I die, mai be secomb in command, copy? [[FunWithSubtitles (no one is called Mai)]]\\
'''Soviet''': ''([[HesitationEqualsDishonesty hesitant]])'' ...yes. [[FunWithSubtitles (no)]]
** Later on, they find out that [[AccidentalMisnaming they've been misnaming Nevil]]:
-->'''Nevil''': ''(quiet and bitterly)'' My name is not Nee-vil, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bit]]...\\
'''Soviet''': What's that -- What's that sorry Nevil?\\
'''Nevil''': My name is not Neevel, you bith...\\
'''Soviet''': Your name is not Nibble? Oh! ''(reads his name)'' [=HolyN=]'Evil, right so it's not Nevil, your name isn't actually Nevil! ''(laughs)''
* Soviet brings for one mission a shotgun using [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast "Doomsday" rounds]]. At first earns the mockery of the team [[ShortRangeShotgun at long range]], [[MagikarpPower but once they see it in its effective range]]...
-->'''Toucan''': What the fuck kind of gun is that?!\\
'''Soviet''': How those rifles working out for you?\\
'''Cyanide''': We can see concisely where you've been, Soviet, [[FollowTheChaos by tracking the fucking buildings.]]\\
'''Soviet''': When I said [[DoomyDoomsOfDoom Doomsday Rounds]] negated cover, I was being serious.
** In the montage where we see their power, Soviet captions each of his 27 kills... [[StuffBlowingUp and a "house kill?", "wait", "what", "seriously?" and "HOLY SHIT" against a tank.]]
** In future loadups, they have to persuade him to not use the doomsday rounds or even bring a shotgun at all.
* The entire disaster of a mission where the squad has to rescue a hostage named after [[MsFanservice Instagram model Sophia Miacova]] , and despite the squad getting absolutely hammered, [[CelebCrush Cyanide demands everyone press on for her.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': [[PerverseSexualLust I will have my head in between her heavily-muscled thighs!]]\\
'''Soviet''': Seriously, it's not worth it! Like, 20 guys have died, I've taken 3 bullets and some fragmentation to my knees...\\
'''Cyanide''': Yes, but I want to sex her!\\
'''Soviet''': [[DeadpanSnarker Fair enough, that's a good reason.]]
** It turns out to ''not'' be worth it, as they finally find "Sophia"... [[CrossPlayer and not only is it just a dude with an effeminate voice]], [[UnsettlingGenderReveal even his avatar is male.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': I WAS '''CATFISHED!''' ''[[DisproportionateRetribution (unloads an entire clip onto "Sophia")]]''
** Later on, another squad finds "Sophia" again, and Cyanide's a lot more sour after the incident. Once they bring him back to Cyanide, once again, he gets gunned down on sight.
** Even later, [[HereWeGoAgain Cyanide realizes they have to rescue "Sophia"]] ''[[HereWeGoAgain again]]'', and refuses to go.
---> '''Soviet''': But it's a match made in heaven, Cyanide, it's true love!\\
''(Cyanide aims at Soviet)''\\
'''Soviet''': Okay okay okay, plenty more fish in the sea! ''[[OhCrap There's plenty more fish in the sea!]]''
** What's even funnier? [[FreezeFrameBonus THE OPERATION WAS NAMED]] SOPHIA MALE-COVA. The whole thing was obvious from the beginning!
* Zodiac: "My vision's gone very green."
--> '''Soviet''': You've got green sunglasses on.\\
'''Zodiac''': [[CaptainObvious Ah, that might be the reason.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 7]]
* From the briefing for the two pilots:
-->'''Commander:''' There are civilians in the village.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I think the way you pronounce that is [[BlackComedy "Acceptable Casualties."]]\\
'''Soviet:''' No. ''(cut)'' Hearts and minds, we're not bombing the civilians.\\
'''Cyanide:''' Yeah, they'll have hearts and minds, they'll just be [[CrossesTheLineTwice splattered all over the]]...\\
'''Soviet:''' NO.
* And as they are deploying, Cyanide gets stuck.
-->'''Cyanide:''' Uurgh! What the fuck?! Help!
-->'''Soviet:''' What? What's wrong?
-->'''Cyanide:''' I'm in the rotors.
-->'''Soviet:''' What do you mean you're in the rotors?
-->'''Cyanide:''' I'm- [[OhCrap DO NOT TURN ON! DO NOT TURN IT ON TO FULL]]!
-->'''Soviet:''' Turn on the helicopter! Turn on the helicopter!
* While running a checkpoint, a van pulls up:
-->'''Soviet:''' Another truck to the north.\\
'''Team Mate 1:''' He says he doesn't have a bomb, but he won't get out of the car.\\
'''Team Mate 2:''' Be advised, [[OhCrap there is a satchel charge underneath the truck!]]\\
'''Soviet:''' Everyone take cover!\\
''(Soviet takes cover. Cyanide shoots the driver, causing the empty truck to start rolling down the road, go through the checkpoint, then explode)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[DeadpanSnarker We have to be the worst checkpoint team in the history of checkpoint teams.]]
* After the aforementioned shenanigans, a third vehicle comes up from the other way and runs into the bar gate. Cyanide takes the moment to fully embrace his [[FunnyForeigner Indian stereotype.]]
-->'''Cyanide:''' [[BriefAccentImitation TWENTY DOLLARS! YOU BREAK MY GATE!]] (He chases after the vehicle yelling at it and promptly gets run over)
* As Soviet and two squadmates come across an enemy in a tank, they engage combat, ending with the tank exploding. As Soviet congratulates them, he turns around and realizes his teammates are both dead from the backblast. [[BlackComedy He takes the credit for himself.]]
* "I think Edberg might be down."
--> '''Edberg''': [[ClusterFBomb Who threw that fucking stun grenade? Don't throw as you fucking go, there are people around the FUCKING buildings! Are you FUCKING IDIOTS!?]]\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Cyanide''': ...never mind.
* This little bit:
-->'''Redcoat''': You're in Norwegian camouflage.\\
'''Womble''': Also yeah, why are you in your pajamas, Aizen?\\
'''Aizen''': [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Vahhh saw huh? Hawr doh nohe emote normenn ya skaal fahn ema ta da dee lilleh hoore]]?[[note]][[GratuitousForeignLanguage It's Norwegian for]] "So what, huh? Do you have anything against Norwegians? I'll fucking beat you, you little whore."[[/note]]\\
'''Womble''': ...why is he speaking Elvish?
* At one point, Soviet goes AFK for a moment, which led to everyone else starting to plug Creator/{{Ubisoft}} games, [[Creator/ElectronicArts EA]] games, and pre-ordering in general. Cyanide in particular even plugs his own Twitter account and Twitch channel.
-->'''Cyanide''': Buy all of the [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed Assassin's Creeds]] and everything from Ubisoft ever. [[SarcasmMode Ubisoft's a great company with some great reputation for fantastic DRM]].
** When Soviet comes back and realizes what's going on, [[BerserkButton he's angry since he hates in-stream advertising]]. He tries to shoot Cyanide, but ends up hitting someone else instead. This gets him in trouble with the CO, [[RefugeInAudacity whom he also shoots while explaining to him why he teamkilled]].
* Soviet and Cyanide's squad is brought for a debriefing, but Cyanide insists on traveling across the base using an ATV whose brakes don't even work, including to pick up another member from 20 meters away. Best of all, not only does he bump into another parked ATV when he returns, but he returns with ''the wrong guy.''
--> '''Soviet''': Sorry, did you go to pick up Katla --\\
'''Teammate''': Yeah, that's not Katla.\\
'''Soviet''': You picked up a random rifleman, not the officer?\\
''(Cyanide turns around and realizes it's just a random private)''\\
'''Cyanide''': [[FailedASpotCheck OH WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?]] Fuck off! Get the fuck out of here!\\
''(private wordlessly runs back)''
* Cyanide can somehow correctly guess the flavor of Pringles from the sound they make when shook in the can. Even Soviet sounds surprised when he gets it right.
* Soviet's first time driving the [[TankGoodness M1A2 Abrams]] is very clumsy, but when an enemy APC appears out of nowhere, Soviet's first reaction to fighting it is to back up and [[RammingAlwaysWorks ram straight into it.]] It ''[[StuffBlowingUp works]]''.
** Later on, the squad notices a solar tower and begin debating whether or not they should blow it up, and Cyanide ends up firing anyway, [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace knocking out the platoon leader from the concussive blast of the shell being fired and passing overhead.]] Even worse, it turns out their friendly spotters were on top of the tower, leading Cyanide to yell [[OhCrap "OH SHIT!"]]
* Soviet takes down an enemy helicopter while on foot, [[OhCrap then runs off when he realizes it's about to fall on top of him...]] except it doesn't. [[DoubleSubversion Then the instant he moves out, it does.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 8]]
* The entire squad's series of [[ThisIsGonnaSuck annoyed "No"'s when they realize Cyanide is their pilot.]]
** Made even more hilarious when Cyanide fires back with complaints about ''Soviet'' being put on his ship.
* The squad gets told to eliminate a downed friendly helicopter (the mission was either to recover or destroy it to prevent the enemy from recovering it), but Nyan ends up misfiring ''two'' rockets at it. [[BrickJoke Later on...]]
-->'''Quebec''': I heard the order for somebody to blow it up, and was like "Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense," and then there was an explosion somewhere in the next village.\\
'''Cyanide''': It was like someone was getting a cup of coffee and then suddenly a fucking ''rocket'' pops in through the window.\\
'''Quebec''': Locked onto his Gameboy or something.\\
''(chat laughs)''
* During one mission as the squad are pressing onto a target location, Soviet notices two unknown figures in the distance, calls in an air strafe (to Cyanide, who for his mission was callsigned [[InherentlyFunnyWords "Bamboonium"]]) and shoots them down... and then another squadmate correctly identifies them as civilians.
-->'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Wait, you're kidding me!?]]\\
'''Teammate 1''': [[DeadpanSnarker I don't see civilians anymore.]]\\
'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Oohhhh...]] [...] Err, Bamboonium, wave off please, I think I just called in an airstrike on a civilian target! Ohhh noo...\\
'''Teammate 2''': That's a court-martialin'!
** Later when the squad is investigating the village and checking the casualties, Soviet asks if the blue guy he shot had a gun, and a teammate confirms [[BlatantLies he does as he plants a gun as evidence.]]
** Even later in chat:
---> '''Soviet''': My squad basically committed a war crime in the middle of that...\\
'''Teammate 1''': You mean ''you'' committed that? Not the squad?\\
'''Soviet''': Okay, ''[[NeverMyFault we]]'' [[NeverMyFault just wiped out a village of at least 25 people.]]\\
'''Teammate 2''': I'm willing to testify against my squad leader in exchange for immunity.
* "What the fuck? What is THAT?! [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever THERE'S A GIANT TRYING TO BOARD THE HELICOPTER]]!"
* As Soviet is listening to Edberg's mumbling, one of his Twitch notifications pops up to let him know of a re-sub, and when he tries to ask him to repeat what he said, [[ThatCameOutWrong he ends up saying "I can't hear you over the sound of people subscribing."]]
---> '''Soviet:''' I wasn't trying to give you sass there, I was being serious.
--->'''[[FunWithSubtitles Accidental Sass]]:''' I can't hear you over the sound of people giving me money.
* Soviet and Cyanide are paired up as a sniper squad for one mission, and immediately it devolves into a game of oneupmanship of Twitch subscribers.
--> '''Soviet''': Saite, thank you user Saite on Twitch for subbing to me!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=TattemWater=], thank you so much for subscribing! [=GhostBravo=], thank you so much for -- \\
'''Soviet''': [=Robin4TheWin=], thank you for subbing to me and not Cyanide, thank you!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=ComradeHedonismBot=], thank you so much for subscribing!\\
'''Soviet''': Jumitor, thank you for subbing to me!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=Lulabull123=], thank you so much for subscribing!\\
'''Soviet''': Bailey, thank you for subscribing, thank you! [=Ragnar112=], thank you for -- \\
'''Cyanide''': [=Ragnar112=]--[[DoubleTake wait,]] [[BigWhat what!?]]\\
'''Soviet''': Shut the fuck up!
** "[[OnlySaneMan GET IN THE HELICOPTER]]!!"
** Later while on the mission itself, the Soviet realizes that since they're all alone, [[ShameIfSomethingHappened if one of them was to get in an accident, nobody would know how except them.]] They immediately point their guns at each other, then call for a truce.
** Cyanide's idea of interacting with civilians:
---> '''Cyanide''': Yes sir, don't worry, we'll take very good care of you. ''[[BlatantLies (immediately caps him]] [[ImmediateSelfContradiction in the head)]]''
* Soviet finds a go-kart (or ''[[InsistentTerminology Command Mobility Vehicle]]'' if he's to be believed) in the middle of a mission:
-->''(Accidentally runs over a teammate running after him [[GoodBadBugs despite not touching him]])''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[NeverMyFault You screwed]] with the [[BadBoss chain of command]], you got bit, okay, fuck you.\\
'''Medic:''' ''(Faintly)'' [[BlackComedy You killed him!]]
** Later leading a squad into a fight... while still [[{{Bathos}} driving the go-kart]]. And singing the ''Film/JurassicPark'' theme. And telling the guys on foot to hurry up. Then getting angry when one of his squadmates shoots the engine of the [[InsistentTerminology Command Mobility Vehicle]].
* The RapidFireComedy before Soviet before his time as a medic.
-->'''Cyanide''': Can you repeat the part where you said the stuff about all the things because I wasn't listening?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Why exactly did we capture Asian Tiger Woods?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Cyanide, nothing needs to be said, but somehow I know that you're responsible for that (cut to a floating upside-down tank).
* The entire RapidFireComedy section of Soviet being a field medic.
--> '''Soviet''': I now pronounce you legally dead.\\
'''[[BlatantLies Still-standing soldier]]''': Can I get a second opinion?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Shit, I've accidentally given one of you LSD!\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Hah, I'm actually pretty good at the medic, I think!\\
'''Teammate 1''': [[subscript: I can't feel my legs!]]\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, I think I've found my calling!\\
'''Teammate 2''': [[subscript: ahh...]]
** [[BlatantLies Diagnosing]] several teammates as having [[BlackComedy AIDS]]
-->'''Soviet:''' It's a gunshot wound.\\
'''Teammate:''' Really?\\
'''Soviet:''' [[FalseReassurance No]], it's AIDS.
** The following:
--> '''Soviet:''' Don't mix prescription medicines... unless you're [[Creator/HeathLedger Heath]] [[BlackComedy Ledger]]\\
''Beat''\\
'''Soviet:''' NO WAIT! [[CrossesTheLineTwice Especially]] if you're Heath Ledger!
* Soviet's incredulity of a squadmate bringing a ''ladder'' into battle... [[LethalJokeItem then actually putting it to good use to simply climb up to a second-story window to shoot the targets inside.]]
** Saying that the purpose of the ladder is that it allows him to engage in a [[ProfessionalWrestling cage ladder-match]] against Wrestling/TripleH and Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 10]]
* Soviet, trying to rescue informant [[Series/TopGearUK Clarkson]] in (presumably) Afghanistan:
--> '''Soviet''': Hello? What's hello in Arabic? ''(whispering)'' Chat, what's hello in Arabic? Don't say something racist, for the love of god don't say something racist. ''(normal)'' umm... Shalom. [[note]] which '''is''' Hello... in ''Hebrew''.[[/note]]
* Someone having shot an enemy, only to find out they were unconscious when they got shot by that enemy.
--> '''Soviet''': That's what you double tap.
--> '''Cyanide''': Double tapped {{Your Mom}} last night. ''(begins spinning around while yawning)''
--> (''[[DisproportionateRetribution Is shot by Soviet]]'')
--> '''Cyanide''': Fair.
* Soviet, referencing the time [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cyanide was catfished]] in Part 6:
--> '''Soviet''': The town we're in now is called [[CallBack Sofia]].
--> '''Cyanide''': I don't want to talk about it.
* During a World War II mission, Soviet's group is playing as British commandos meeting up with Norwegian resistance. To help with the immersion, the Norwegians are speaking their native language, and Cake provided the British with a translation guide and phrasebook to help them communicate. Hilarity ensures.
** One of the phrases ("Nar er neste pisspreikeriutgivelse?") is translated as "Have you seen any Germans nearby?" In fact, it actually translates to [[{{Troll}} "When is the next bullshittery?"]]
** "Cake doesn't get it, we're British. We just point at things and speak English louder."
** The most important phrase they learn: "Hest kuk." Translation? "Horse cock." Which gets screamed constantly when they meet up with the Norwegians.
[[/folder]]
!Antistasi
[[folder: Part 9]]
* The video opens with a meticulously edited-together NewsBroadcast establishing the context for the Antistasi campaign. [[FreezeFrameBonus Among the scrolling headlines at the bottom]] is text reading "[[OnlyInFlorida Florida Woman Calls Police on Eight Year Old for Selling Water]]".
* As the group starts the game mode, one of the members immediately gets sidetracked by the notice of them doing "guerrilla warfare" and starts singing ''Music/{{Gorillaz}}'' songs.
-->'''Digby''': ''♪ Get the cool shoeshine... ♪''\\
'''Soviet''': Fuck your shoeshine! ''([[DisproportionateRetribution shoots him dead]])''
* This exchange:
-->'''Moogle:''' Oh, if you wanna put anything than flip-flops on, now's the time.
-->'''Soviet:''' No, no, these are my battle flip-flops. I fight with the strength of ten men with my battle flip-flops. Ten really puny men.
* "I'm wearing a balaclava! But I don't think I'm incognito enough! ''[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Double balaclava]]!''"
* Soviet chooses to name the group "The Badgers", and as he comes up with their battle cry, the footage is cut with an [[ThemeTune epic Badgers jingle]] that slowly devolves [[SlowlySlippingIntoEvil as the campaign goes on]].
---> ''The Badgers, they are The Badgers'' ("Yeah!")\\
''They fight for freedom and democracy'' ("Woo!")\\
''Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!''
** "Ooh, badgers hiss? That's brilliant!" ''(patriotic hiss)''
** Much to Soviet's annoyance, the rest of the team isn't quite on board with the title, preferring to just call it "Badger", if even that.
---> '''Digby''': The Molos Independence and Liberation Front is the name of this organisation.\\
'''Soviet''': [[FunWithAcronyms M.I.L.F.]]!?\\
'''Digby''': For the glory of M.I.L.F.!\\
'''Soviet''': We are not being called M.I.L.F.! We are the Badgers!\\
'''Quebec''': I've already got a tattoo though, Soviet!
* "I thought we were trying to make this a dictatorship."
-->'''Soviet''': No, we're fighting for democracy!\\
'''Cadsade''': [[OnlyInItForTheMoney Am I the only one fighting for money here]]?\\
'''Soviet''': Fine, you can fight for money. If you want.
* Soviet claiming that, while undercover, they can just claim to be [[VideoGame/{{ARMA}} Bohemia developers]] photographing the countryside as research if they get caught[[note]]For those who don't know, during the development of ARMA III, two developers from Bohemia Interactive (the makers of ARMA) where arrested while on vacation in Greece under the charge of photographing Greek military instillations without permission for research purposes. As an aside, the charges were eventually proven to be false[[/note]].
* The first sign of things to come is the aftermath of their first successful mission, where after capturing a few [=NPCs=] as political prisoners, Gatsa sets up one of them as a squad leader, prompting them to [[KickTheDog literally take him behind the woodshed and shooting him dead]].
* Soviet partakes in another mission, but as they're geared up to go, the player in the driver's seat becomes AFK.
-->'''Quebec''': Is it the guy in the right hand seat?\\
'''Moogle''': Yeah.\\
'''Quebec''': ''([[KickTheDog machine-guns him to death]] then turns to Soviet)'' There you go, get in.\\
'''Soviet''': Jesus Christ, he was one of us!\\
'''Quebec''': [[BlatantLies Insubordination]].\\
'''Soviet''': Insubordination!?\\
'''Moogle''': Soviet, you can get in now.\\
'''Soviet''': Not sure if I want to!
** During the drive to drop off propaganda pamphlets, they agree to the terms of their proposed system: Digby will only be able to command President Soviet to run the country on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Chairman Moogle on Mondays and Tuesdays, Minister Quebec on Fridays, alternating on weekends. Soviet further proposes that Thursdays be government-free anarchy days (inexplicably represented with a video of a group of people attacking a trash can).
** After Soviet asks if they're going to drive on the left side or the right side of the road, they decide that they can't so either side any favour, so they're going to drive [[GoldenMeanFallacy straight down the middle]].
* [[GoodBadBugs One guy gets stuck on a rock and somehow]], [[TemptingFate he can't be killed]]. Soviet decides to prove it and shoots him point blank. [[OhCrap Only he fired a 40mm grenade round]]. Everybody gives him hell for him and [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Soviet can only laugh at the fact he nearly killed them all]]. So he decides to stick to regular rounds from there on.
-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Moogle]]:''' Next time you're about to kill us all, a little bit of warning.
* Digby keeps on singing to the point he's the team bard. During a drive, he sings a rather impressive piece of "Men of Harlech" until they come head to head with a Russian patrol. They urge him to sing something Russian. Not knowing a word of the language, Digby fumbles it and they get discovered.
* "There's a dog up there, [[TemptingFate don't shoot it]]." ''(beat)'' ''([[KickTheDog shot]])'' "[[BigNo NOO]]--"
** Moogle and Soviet are on a mission to recruit [=NPCs=] into the resistance, but one they encounter inside a house is bugged out and unresponsive.
-->'''Moogle''': [[JoinOrDie You, join us or die.]]\\
'''Soviet''': No, no, this is not what our resistance stands for! We're about justice, and--[[BuffySpeak and like, fairness...]]\\
'''Moogle''': How the hell are we gonna complete the mission if this guy doesn't join our group?\\
'''Soviet''': Hearts and minds! It's about getting people on our side.\\
'''Moogle''': Just... get in the truck.\\
'''Soviet''': Get in the truck, alright. ''(leaves the building)''\\
'''Moogle''': Ah... ha-choo! ''([[ShootTheShaggyDog gunshot]])''\\
'''Soviet''': Augh, for fuck's sake!
** As the leave the mission, Soviet finds another dog [[CutenessProximity and coos over it]] before heading to the truck. [[{{Troll}} They back into it.]]
* The return of the Badgers anthem following these actions, accompanied with a darker-colored logo, featuring a badger in more guerilla-style uniform and covered in money:
-->''The Badgers, they are The Badgers''\\
''They fight for freedom, [[OnlyInItForTheMoney but mainly money]]'' ("That's just Moogle...")\\
''and a restrictive democracy'' ("Well no, just democracy...")\\
''where women can't vote'' ("Okay, wait--")\\
''[[ForTheEvulz and they kill dogs]]!'' ("No--wait, hold on a sec--")\\
''and spread propaganda'' ("No, it's not propaganda!")\\
''[[DisproportionateRetribution and they shot a young man 'cause he wouldn't sign up]]!'' ("He was just bugged out!")\\
''[[IHaveAFamily He had a family, they miss him]]!'' ("Okay, hold on--")\\
''No one tell Womble that Gambit's been smuggling drugs'' ("[[DoubleTake He's doing what]]?")\\
''Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!''
* During a sudden ambush, Womble rescues a wounded Poro and takes him behind cover for medical treatment. Once he finishes and Poro gets back up, his mic comes back on to reveal he'd been playing the ''USSR Anthem'' during the entire procedure.
* After a successful base raid, the squad notices an enemy helicopter coming towards them, but it turns out it's piloted by a resistance member, telling the others to hold fire through the walkie-talkies. [[PoorCommunicationKills Unfortunately, Soviet can't hear them over the heavy rain, and he blasts it down with an anti-air rocket.]]
-->'''Soviet''': [[TemptingFate It's alright, I'm sure they're fine, I'm sure they made it, they're okay]].\\
''([[DescriptionCut cut to]] Rorkiy at the crash site screaming as PsychoStrings play)''
** After the Friendly Fire Incident, Womble is talking to a Russian soldier who's surrendered about what the Badgers are going to do once they have set up a working government over Altis, and all the soldier can think of is the song "The Sound of Silence" before he gets shot in the head. Womble isn't upset over the blatant war crime that just took place as he is over the fact that:
---> '''Soviet''': [[SeriousBusiness I WAS ESPOUSING OUR MANIFESTO]]!
* One of the squad members is about to shoot a LAW, so Womble and the other member [[ShownTheirWork get clear of]] [[MissingBackblast the backblast]]... only for the guy firing the LAW to accidentally knock ''himself'' out with the backblast.
* During a mission, Quebec seizes an enemy tank, which [[GoodBadBugs inexplicably flips itself over]]. The squad thinks it could still be salvaged, but when he tries to tow it with a truck, it makes horrible screeching noises and simply refuses any attempts to flip it right-side up again. [[FromBadToWorse Eventually, Quebec accidentally causes it to collide with a building]], [[IncendiaryExponent igniting it and its ammunition]], killing nearly everyone from the thermal damage as he continues driving around with a flaming tank trailing behind.
-->'''Womble''': It's like Greek fire! [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidVThePhantomPain A weapon to surpass Metal Gear]]...
* Eventually, the clan's descent into actual terrorism (including [[MoralEventHorizon executing surrendering enemy soldiers]] and ''suicide-bombing'') prompts a third version of the Badgers anthem, [[BloodierAndGorier with the logo badger drenched in terrifying fire and]] ''[[BloodierAndGorier eating a human arm]]'':
-->''The Badgers, they are The Badgers''\\
''[[ProtagonistJourneyToVillain They're terrorists]]!'' ("[[HeelRealization Oh god, we are, aren't we]]?")\\
''They like to [[EatsBabies eat babies]]!'' ("Fuck...")\\
''And terrorize the populace with suicide bombers!'' ("Is this what we are?")\\
''[[LeaveNoSurvivors And gun down Russian soldiers that have clearly surrendered]]!''\\
''Because they're assholes'' ("What have we become?")\\
''and thundercunts'' ("Yeah...")\\
''and Quebec parked his APC inside an orphanage!'' ("Oh, for fuck's sake!")\\
''Badgers, they were The Badgers!'' ("What do you mean 'were'?")\\
''From henceforth they have now announced a partnership with ISIS!'' ([[CrossesTheLineTwice plays]] "[[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/salil-sawarim-saleel-al-sawarim Saleel al-Sawarim]]") ("[[MyGodWhatHaveIDone We're fucking terrorists! We're just terrorists]]!")
** And right before the final shingle, the others reveal to Womble that they had been EvilAllAlong.
--->'''Moogle:''' [[NecessarilyEvil Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty]].\\
'''Womble:''' No, no. Already on Youtube, I'm famous for [[CallBack accidentally wiping out a village]] and now I am part of an illegal insurgency.\\
'''Moogle:''' [[WideEyedIdealist Should have known what you were signing up for]].\\
'''Womble:''' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Oh, for-]] ''({{headdesk}})''
* ''Immediately'' following this, Soviet discovers that his fellow resistance members ''are using civilians as human shields during a raid.''
--->'''Soviet''': [[BigNo NO, NO, NO]], don't use civilians as a human fucking shield! That is... what!?\\
'''Poro''': I am naming him Roberto.\\
''(long beat as he runs offscreen with him)''\\
'''Soviet''': We're gonna be fucking tried in The Hague. By the end of this, we're gonna get tried in the fucking Hague.
** Even worse, they discover that since they can shoot while using human shields, ''they're actually really effective in combat'', to a point where [[NotSoAboveItAll Womble simply gives up and takes the base with everyone else with one in tow]].
--->'''Soviet''': Fucking hell, we actually took the base, through err... by exploiting the mercy of our enemy, I think. We are terrible people. We are genuinely... genuinely terrible people.
* Womble discovering that [[CaptainObvious mortars are loud]]... and that the Russians can hear the sound of a mortar firing... and send a [[OhCrap HIND to investigate and neutralise the threat]]. Cue the Russians wiping out Resistance HQ, ending the game for ''everyone''. In fairness, another player knew that the Russians could eventually zero in on the mortars, knew Womble was playing around with the AI mortar team, and didn't bother to tell him until ''after'' the Russians had shown up.
* The video ends with another montage of NewsBroadcast, this one establishing the aftermath of the Russians wiping out the Badgers, or as they will be remembered in a final kick in Womble's teeth: M.I.L.F. After reporting on their various atrocities, followed by reports of the newly-vindicated Russian government cleaning up the mess and a LandslideElection in favor of Altis becoming a semi-autonomous territory of Russian, it finishes with the beginning of a report on whether or not [[MoodWhiplash violent battle royale video games are causing autism in children]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 1/5]]
* At the very start of a new Antistasi campaign, [[LazyBum Cyanide]] decides to log off...[[ToiletHumor in the toilet.]] Several others promptly follow in logging off in the toilet.
-->'''Womble:''' [[QuoteMine Also, I swear to God, if one of you drills a glory-hole-]]
* [[TheLoad Cyanide promptly chews up the resistance's funds by accidentally buying a speedboat]], and when he darts to it in search of girls on the beach, they fire at it ''and him'' with an RPG.
-->'''Cyanide''': Look, if we're gonna kickstart a resistance, we need to raise funds. [[InsaneTrollLogic Get a boat, put lots of girls in bikinis on that boat]], [[MissingStepsPlan then charge desperate wankers like yourself to get on the boat]]. But now you've fucking broken that, so we've got to do stupid shit like fight people.
* During a simple early-game mission to take a lightly-occupied power plant, Womble notices some rumbling noises in the distance. After a while, the squad discovers it's [=TobiWan=], [[AchievementsInIgnorance who inexplicably got his hands on]] ''[[AchievementsInIgnorance an air-superiority fighter jet]]'', [[EpicFail only for it to explode as he rolls it down the road]].
-->'''Tobi:''' Viva la revolution!
** After liberating said power plant, Poro decides to take a human shield. [[CallBack Again.]] Womble...points this out.
--> '''Womble:''' You can't do that, Poro, we've- Poro, we've [[BlackComedy done that joke!]]
* Following in the footsteps of M.I.L.F. from the last campaign, Digby once again overrides naming their resistance "The Badgers" with "The [[FunWithAcronyms Workers and National Kinsmen]]" (or alternatively, "Workers Autonomous National [[ShoehornedFirstLetter Kolle]][[XtremeKoolLetterz ctive]]").
-->'''Womble''': No, we're not W.A.N.K.! We are The Badgers!\\
'''Digby''': [[CallBack I thought all the Badgers went to The Hague and were prosecuted!]]\\
'''Womble''': This is a SoftReboot!
* During a quiet moment, Vesper accidentally runs over an AFK Quebec with his tank, which everyone tells him to stop doing... until they realize it's ''Quebec'', [[KickTheDog so they all decide to riddle his injured body with bullets]].
* Cyanide finds a new hat, which it turns out is just ''an entire crate'' almost bigger than he is where his head should be.
-->'''Cyanide''': [--This is how I'm bringing ammo to the fight.--]\\
'''Digby''': Your voice is muffled!\\
'''Cyanide''': [--[[DeadpanSnarker Why do you think my voice is muffled, Digby!?]]--]
* Moogle and Soviet wander into a seemingly-abandoned residential area, guided by the former's "spidey senses". When they enter in a building, both are surprised to discover a few leftover refugees from an expired mission hanging out in it. Soviet only concludes that Moogle's senses are just a {{Gaydar}} to detect single men in his area.
* As they were doing the Pamphlets mission, they discover accidentally that the text is readable. And all of it is basically Anti-British Conservative propaganda. They are totally on board with distributing these pamphlets.
-->'''Moogle:''' And who said you can't learn anything from video games.
-->'''Soviet:''' I'm just glad it's not about Brexit, otherwise the box would be on fire.
* One incognito mission has the squad meet up a corrupt officer at a location while dressed as civilians. Naturally, [[TheGadfly Cyanide's approach is as suspicious as possible]].
--->'''Cyanide''': [[BadBadActing HELLO, SIR!]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I AM NOT HERE TO MEET YOU FOR ANY BAD PURPOSES]], PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE MILITARY THINGS IN THE AREA, [[BlatantLies BECAUSE I AM A TOURIST AND A MILITARY ENTHUSIAST.]]\\
'''Soviet''': [[RealitySubtext He's a Bohemia dev]], [[NeverLiveItDown arrest him!]]
** While attempting to negotiate with the officer, [[ContinuityNod the gang converse over Cyanide's encounter with Sofia Miacova in a past Bullshittery]].
--->'''Womble''': Some people keep quoting things that I've edited and I can't even remember editing them.\\
'''Cyanide''': Some people quote things and I'm like "Why are you saying such horrible things?", and then I realize ''I'' said them and I'm like "Ahh, okay cool."
* Towards the end, they stop at a gas station to fuel up. When Soviet connects the nozzle, it winds up [[WreakingHavok in the back seat of their truck, behind Moogle]].
-->'''Womble''': Sit still--right. You might feel a slight sloshing sensation around your feet.\\
'''Moogle''': ''(bubbling noises)''\\
'''Womble''': Heh...just don't [[ExplosiveStupidity start smoking]], whatever you do.
* The ending is dedicated to [=KayJay=]'s [[{{Awwchoo}} inappropriately adorable and high-pitched sneezing]], which Womble describes as "Tinkerbell having an orgasm." [[FanDisservice Then KayJay decides to imitate the noise proper.]]
-->'''Womble''': That was not a fucking sneeze!\\
'''[=KayJay=]''': It was a sneeze! Real men don't need their sneezes to sound masculine, okay?\\
'''Womble''': Real men just fucking sneeze! Real men don't sound like a fairy having a stroke!\\
'''[=KayJay=]''': Well maybe I'm the fucking manliest fairy that you've ever seen in your life! [[KilledMidSentence Must]]-- ''([[DisproportionateRetribution Womble guns him down]])''\\
'''Womble''': I really doubt it.\\
'''Nordern''': [[DeadpanSnarker Is that how you win every argument]], [[MurderIsTheBestSolution just shoot the opposition in the face?]]\\
'''Womble''': [[BluntYes It's worked so far!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 2/5]]
* During one mission, Chinny is shot down by a sniper, prompting Womble to go through his backpack to find first aid to recover him. He proceeds to discover ''77 morphine injectors''.
-->'''Womble''': Are you dealing drugs?!\\
'''Chinny''': No!\\
'''Womble''': Yeah, of course the fucking [[OopNorth northerner's]] a smackhead.
** Not much later, Womble is also shot down, but while Chinny manages to restabilize him, he continues to flash white with pain since Chinny refuses to give his morphine.
* One mission features Womble, Nevil, Chinny, and a [[StonersAreFunny seriously drugged-out Aizen]] sneaking into a factory to plant bombs and destroy it.
-->'''Aizen''': Alright, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} the bird is in the bin and has been fed the worm]]...
** When they successfully plant the charges and drive off, Womble pushes the detonator... [[AntiClimax and the explosions fail to deal any damage]]. [[BigWhat Everyone in the crew has the same reaction,]] and Aizen [[IronicEcho futilely sings the Badgers anthem]].
--->'''Womble''': We genuinely suck, folks.\\
'''Nevil''': No ''you'' suck!\\
'''Womble''': I planted the detonators just fine!\\
'''Nevil''': Fucking useless! Hear what I'm saying: fuck you.\\
\\
'''Womble''': Chinny, where did you buy those explosives?!\\
'''Chinny''': Sketchy Irishman!\\
'''Womble''': Is there a slight clue in his name, the fact that he's a ''sketchy'' Irishman?\\
'''Chinny''': It's sketchy 'cause the fact he sells bombs, alright?!\\
'''Womble''': Could you not have bought it from the Totally Legitimate and Highly Competent Irishman?!\\
'''Chinny''': [[DumbassHasAPoint We'll make do with the ones that sell us shit rather than the ones that don't]].\\
'''Womble''': Ugh. For Christ's sake...
** On the drive back to base, mrbatty's car ends up getting rear-ended by a civilian.
--->'''mrbatty''': [[ArtificialStupidity I just got rear-ended by a fucking civvie]].\\
'''Womble''': There goes your no-claims bonus.\\
''(explosion sound in the background)''\\
'''Womble''': ...Did you kill him? [[DisproportionateRetribution You killed him! You just killed him!]]\\
'''mrbatty''': You can't make a claim if you're dead.\\
'''Womble''': What the shit?!\\
'''mrbatty''': My no-claims bonus is safe!
* "[[Theatre/LesMiserables Some will fall, and some will live, will you stand up and claim your chance / the blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of Fra]]--''[[LastSecondWordSwap Altis!]]''"
* After Aizen observes during a ride that they're six dudes in a truck, he plays a small music sample. When Cyanide asks why he recognizes it, [[HoYay it's pointed out that it's a Pornhub bumper]], [[VerbalBackspace to which he promptly feigns ignorance]].
* Back at the swamp base, W.A.N.K. arranges for the next several missions to be done, one of which is to take a truck to drop off propaganda leaflets. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent They don't realize that during all of this, Nevil has quietly taken the truck for himself]] until he's driven off.
* During another moment of downtime at the base, Cyanide points Womble to their Garage, showing that he managed to capture ''a fully intact Su-25'' [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome after holding out in an airfield for an entire afternoon, armed with only a sniper rifle and a pistol]]. Womble is understandably bewildered by this achievement.
-->'''Womble''': We're in a swamp! Where did you land?!\\
'''Cyanide''': [[BoringButPractical I landed on the beach, then I drove it from the beach to the base]]. [[AwesomeButImpractical We can't actually really use it]], but I feel it's like a really nice, yknow... it's for the principle of it.\\
'''Womble''': You went and got a trophy?\\
'''Cyanide''': Yeah, it took me three hours, totally WorthIt!
* For some reason, [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Quebec and Cyanide spend a mission]] speaking [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents in Geordie]].
-->'''Cyanide''': I'm in the fookin' truck, let's gooo. ''(gunfire)'' AH, FOOK! IN THE FOOKIN' FIELD! AYE SHOT A FUCKIN' GUN AT US!\\
'''Quebec''': THESE FUCKIN' GLASSES AIN'T PRESCRIPTION, MAN!
* Womble suddenly grips onto the IdiotBall during a mission to take down an enemy tank patrol and placing an anti-tank mine on the ''civilian'' road. [[LethallyStupid Naturally, things go haywire when a civilian truck ends up getting blown up by it.]]
-->'''Womble''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But it's an anti-tank mine! Why would it go off? It's an anti]]...\\
'''Cyanide''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh my god, you moron, are you serious?!]]\\
''(Moogle bursts out laughing)''\\
'''Cyanide''': You put an anti-tank mine on ''the fucking main road!''\\
'''Womble''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But t-they don't]]--\\
'''Cyanide''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THE MAIN! FUCKING! ROAD!]] YOU PUT AN ANTI-TANK MINE ON THE MAIN FUCKING ROAD THAT CIVILIANS USE! '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis HOW! FUCKING! DUMB! ARE YOU?!]]'''\\
'''Womble''': I think we've learned a valuable lesson today.
* At one point the entire clan is at the HQ, due to the server being bugged out, with no missions spawning among other...apparent issues.
-->'''Vesper''': Right now, this happens when I shoot people. [''pulls out his rifle and shoots another player in the chest. Said player falls over dead.''] ...[[CaptainObvious You die.]][[labelnote:*]]Apparently the issue Vesper was trying to point out was that units aren't getting their revive timers, they're just falling dead with no chance for a medic to tend to them.[[/labelnote]]
-->'''Womble''': ...as opposed to what? It's not exactly a kiss of life. [...] You shoot people in the chest and they fall down dead. 'That's wrong!' [[SarcasmMode Clearly!]]
* Womble's premade loadouts include "Chinny can't drive", "NEVIL IS SHIT" (and also "NEVIL IS SHIT 2"), "Cyanide likes willy", "Edberg is gaaaaaay", and "Digby is a twat".
* [[BrickJoke Womble squads up to return to the earlier factory]] in another attempt to take it down, this time [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill placing more than twice the explosives from before]]. [[NoSell When that still doesn't work,]] the squad come up with a new plan that essentially boils down "[[ExternalCombustion sticking bombs all over one of their cars, driving it into the factory, then detonating it]]". After placing the bombs, Aizen is handed the dead man's switch... and then he's suddenly disconnected from the server, and after a brief delay (punctuated by an increasingly gleeful SynchroVox face one of the bombs), [[EpicFail they go off and kill the entire team]].
* [[HumiliationConga As one last kick in the teeth]], the resistance is in the process of capturing a different factory, and during the firefight, a quad bike goes up in flames. [[CherryTapping The single explosion instantly totals the entire thing]].
-->'''mrbatty''': Ummm....\\
'''Womble''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh, you're fucking joking...]] ''Fuck you, ARMA! Fuck you!''
* Finally, Cyanide decides he's had enough of fighting Russians and using Russian guns, he wants to switch up things. So they decide to fight Americans, therefore doing away with the facade that they're not terrorists and now be blatant terrorists. Which is going to happen in the next entry.
-->'''Soviet:''' Right. No chanting "Death to America".
-->'''Clan Member:''' Awwwww.
-->'''Soviet:''' Okay, a little bit "Death to America".
-->'''Clan Member:''' Yaaaay!
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 3/5]]
* Soviet narrates the in-universe explanation for them opposing American troops (and why Americans are on Altis to begin with) with that oil has been recently discovered on Altis.
* Cyanide steals Katla's car. This lasts until Cyanide is lying wounded on the ground...at which point mrbatty steals Katla's car. Subsequently, Cyanide blows it up with their only bomb, during a raid so ill-planned that Soviet is the only one with an actual gun.
* They decide to go and "poke the Yanks". It turns out during the following montage that "the Yanks" have a particular line in DisproportionateRetribution.
-->'''Womble:''' Is that a drone? That's a drone. We stole some shitty beat-up truck and they send out a four million dollar drone?\\
'''Womble:''' It's a small checkpoint, we'll be right-[cue gunfire] JESUS FUCK WHAT THE SHIT?\\
'''Womble:''' Oh god.\\
'''Womble:''' OH GOD\\
'''Womble:''' [being fired at by multiple helicopters] So what we're learning is that the Americans have ''absolutely no chill''.\\
'''Digby:''' Someone in my chat asked how it feels that we've created an insurgency that elicits a bigger response than Bin Laden did.
* Moogle shoots a police officer.
-->'''Womble:''' You can't do that, that's illegal!\\
'''Digby:''' Well, we are running an illegal insurgency!\\
'''Womble:''' That's ''more'' illegal!
* Womble has a hard time getting his clanmates to not harass the war correspondents. Eventually, he's riding a quad with Nevil, who runs one over, insists "accidents happen", and then steals a car and bails; Womble moves to treat him, and comes to a horrifying revelation:
-->'''Womble:''' Wait, hang on, he's with the ''[[AcceptableTargets Daily Mail!]]'' [opens fire]\\
[cut to Womble in the car with Nevil]\\
'''Womble:''' Accidents happen.\\
'''Nevil:''' Accidents happen.\\
'''Womble:''' Yeah, they just happen.
* "WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS GAME [[DrivesLikeCrazy DRIVE LIKE A FUCKING NUTCASE?!]]"
* Forward planning is vital.
-->'''Nevil:''' Mortar incoming!\\
'''Womble:''' Nevil, where are you firing?\\
'''Nevil:''' [[RecklessGunUsage Don't know.]]\\
'''Womble:''' [[OnlySaneMan What do you mean you DON'T KNOW?]]
* [[SuicidalOverconfidence Nevil's entire attempt]] to [[LeeroyJenkins two-man an American outpost with Womble]] to "[[TestosteronePoisoning do what men do]]".
-->'''Womble:''' Do what men do? ''Get shot?!''\\
[later]\\
'''Womble:''' Is anyone on this comm?\\
'''Clan Member:''' Yeah, we're on it.\\
'''Womble:''' If you see Nevil can you tell him he's a fucking turnip.\\
'''CM:''' Do you need medical assistance?\\
'''Womble:''' No, but ''[[ImpliedDeathThreat he will.]]''
* At the end of it, Womble painstakingly heals up the unconscious Nevil...and then guns him down before he can even say a single full word.
-->'''Womble:''' Fucking willy.
* Non-game related, but Cyanide makes the mistake of complaining about his girlfriend Maja, and specifically how she's been acting while [[MenstrualMenace on her period]], not knowing that she is watching the stream. She spends the next minute giving him a piece of her mind, culminating in the following exchange:
-->'''Maja:''' You're a cunt.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I- what?\\
'''Maja:''' You're a cunt.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I love you.\\
'''Maja:''' No.\\
'''Cyanide:''' No? okay. I... I... I will be whatever you want me to be.\\
'''Maja:''' I want to be single.\\
''(later)''\\
'''Maja:''' You're allowed to tell all of the stories about me if you want to, but don't take them out of context cause then [[SuddenlyShouting I'LL FUCKING]] KILL YOU!]] ''([[EvilLaugh laughs]])''\\
'''Womble:''' ''Okay'', Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend has been replaced with Cyanide's [[{{Yandere}} Psycho Girlfriend]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 4/5]]
* Womble and his squad call in an airstrike on a factory, despite Womble putting up concerns that there may be children in there. The factory goes up in flames, getting a lot of impressed remarks from the clan - and then:
--> '''Random ZF:''' [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence Is it bad to be erect?]]
** And then they spot Edberg in the nearby ocean driving a jetski...[[UnfriendlyFire and proceed to shoot at him.]] He manages to survive the entire experience, even when the squad fires ''every RPG they have.''
** Edberg then finds he has a sniper rifle and decides to get even.
* Apparently, Womble owes Nevil $300.
* The resistance base gets a bit too...loud again, and, like in the first episode, the local government sends air support to take it out. This time around, the resistance is prepared, and quickly down the chopper with anti-air fire....the bad news is, the now-crashing helicopter ''plunges straight into the Resistance HQ.''
* At one point, Womble has to go to the toilet and leaves in the middle of something important. Edberg ''knocks'' on him to get him back.
* [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Womble counting his dog's nipples]]
* Digby shooting a random civilian.
-->'''Digby''': [[InsaneTrollLogic He was killed by an American-caliber weapon, therefore he was killed by the Americans as far as I'm concerned.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 5/5]]
* Their encounter with a tank that they are absolutely unprepared for. It culminates in a less-than brilliant idea: ZF clan members will compete to kill the tank by ramming it with their cars in order to win 20 pounds from Edberg. Two of them immediately run for the cars with a cry of "I'M A STUDENT, I NEED MONEY!"
-->'''Edberg:''' [[ShootTheShaggyDog Is it too late to say that I crossed my fingers?]]
* Womble trying to use a claymore mine to take out a fence so he can go past, doing nothing to the fence but maiming mrbatty, who failed to stand sufficiently clear...before it's pointed out to him that there's a gap in the fence ten, maybe fifteen feet to his right.
* An enemy [[DeathFromAbove A-10]] appears overhead, and Katla takes notice of it
--> '''Katla''': Hello!
--> '''Soviet''': Don't say HELLO at the A-10!
* Dinklebean's attempt to fly.
-->'''Soviet:''' Go for it, Dinkle, you can do it! We believe in you!\\
'''Dinklebean:''' I'm sure I can do it, thank you for believing in me!\\
'''Soviet:''' You can do it, we believe in you!\\
'''Dinklebean:''' Why isn't it speeding up?\\
'''Soviet:''' Yeah, he's gonna die.
* Soviet's character passes out from blood loss and [[WithFriendsLikeThese Dinklebean and mrbatty have a very civil conversation while waiting to see if he recovers by himself]].
-->'''Soviet:''' [[IfYouDieICallYourStuff They're fucking looting my shit while I'm unconscious.]]\\
'''Dinklebean:''' Oh hey! Snickers!
* [[CaptainCrash Moogle]] repeatedly failing to land a fighter jet.
* The extended sequence of AI civilians [[DrivesLikeCrazy driving like crazy]] and otherwise being TooDumbToLive, culminating in a bit where Soviet claims 1300 civilians have died, [[BlatantLies mostly in American reprisal attacks]]...and a civilian just runs in front of his car for no reason.
-->'''Soviet:''' [{{Beat}}] ''[[VerbalBackspace 1301]]'' civilians have died-
* Then an AI resistance driver swerves specifically to run over a civilian.
-->'''Soviet:''' The AI is learning from ZF, everyone!
* Womble utterly failing to remember the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Eventually it mutates into "you're better than the bush, because fuck vegetation".
* Cyanide gets shot down and lands pretty far out to sea.
-->'''Cyanide:''' (singing) [[WesternAnimation/FindingDory Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...]] (gasp) [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny A turtle!]]
* When Cyanide eventually reaches shore, it turns out that he was literally flying by the seat of his pants...as in he was only wearing his underclothes.
-->'''Cyanide:''' We don't have a dress code in the insurgency.
* "Someone kill the engine on the truck-" [gunshots] "[[ExactWords NO NOT LIKE THAT]]"
* Chinny attempts to fire a portable surface-to-air missile...while standing directly underneath a ceiling. A missile that fires ''directly upwards''. Even ''Cyanide'' thinks this is TooDumbToLive.
* While relocating their HQ, they accidentally leave their commander somewhere and have to go and look for him. It's eventually concluded that he's disappeared into a bug caused by a mod, and the attempt to debug this goes...weirdly, with Soviet being teleported from behind the wheel of a truck to ''out in the ocean'', while Cyanide, who is in the passenger seat, is untouched. Eventually it turns out that this issue actually crashed the host client.
-->'''Cyanide:''' Oh, this better not be the start to some kind of horror movie.
** Even better is that before they got teleported they believed that the commander decided to say "ScrewThisImOuttaHere" and ran off with all their cash while in the midst of the firefight.
* The conclusion is a montage where the wonders of ManipulativeEditing imply that the whole occupation and insurgency were just figments of everyone's imagination caused by heatstroke. [[VitriolicBestBuds And so was Cyanide.]] The video ends with Womble realizing he is late for work and catching a cab into town. While at "work" he hums the [[CallBack Badgers' Anthem]] from Part 1 and chuckles to himself.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 1]]
* [[EstablishingSeriesMoment The very first scene]] has the ZF clan on a night mission climbing up a hill, but Gambit is behind because he's slowly crawling/slowly scooting forward. Cyanide joins him, and they decide to have a race, complete with another member using his laser sight as a finishing line. ''Then'', as Cyanide draws near and complains about how the line is slanted against him, Gambit [[DisproportionateRetribution simply shoots him]] and wins.
-->'''Soviet:''' And it's a photo finish!
** In the same mission, they manage to successfully take down a helicopter using a turret. As they're laughing and congratulating each other:
-->'''Soviet''': Ahh, [[OhCrap that wasn't friendly, was it?]]\\
'''Teammate''': I hope not. ''(laughs)''
* As Soviet gathers intel at a target location, Cyanide nervously notices something and asks "Why have we called for [[DeathFromAbove fire support]] at 225199?" ''[[MassOhCrap Their current location.]]''
-->'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Team 1! Team 1, fucking scatter! Team 1, fucking scatter, now!]]
* Shortly after the above, Soviet summarises both Team 1 (Consisting of himself, Kaffe, Pozzie and Quebec) as the "heavy fire and assault squad" and Team 2 (Consisting of Cyanide and Gambit) as the "squad that dicks around and fucks the other team when they're not looking", complete with individual summaries, with Soviet's being a self ego boost while Cyanide is referred as a "curry eating, [[TeamKiller teamkilling]] fucktard" and Gambit is referred as a "[[CrossingTheLineTwice clone of motherfucking Hermann Goring]]"
* The clan heads out in a truck, which they all treat as a wild joyride, complete with gleefully jumping over a steel fence. Then they collide head-on with an enemy vehicle, which flips them all ''backwards''.
-->'''Saggy:''' inb4 we flip and all die
* The team lays low in the grass as enemy soldiers are nearby and scouting the area. The game's ArtificialStupidity rears its hilarious head as ''several'' enemies walk into a prone teammate and even push his model around without noticing him.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 2]]
* Cyanide lays waste to an enemy base with a fighter jet, but as he begins pulling back up, his game crashes. Instead of continuing to fly forward, though, [[GoodBadBugs the jet just stops completely in mid-air.]]
** Womble, still suitably unnerved by a jet sitting in midair with no pilot and the engines at full blast, makes a suggestion that they should move away from the jet before [[TemptingFate something else happens,]] to which Cyanide's abandoned jet responds by remembering how physics work and plowing full-throttle into the ground only yards from Womble's position - with [[StuffBlowingUp explosive results.]]
** Later, Cyanide attempts to use the bridge to an island the rest of the group is heading to as a runway to land. [[StuffBlowingUp He explodes spectacularly on impact.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': I [[ExactWords technically]] landed!
* The gang is hanging around an old church, waiting for Rousch to deliver a sermon. As they begin getting comfortable, [[TheGadfly one of them throws a live frag grenade at the podium]], and they all have to flee... except Rousch, who ends up completely unharmed from [[NoOneShouldSurviveThat hiding]] ''[[NoOneShouldSurviveThat behind]]'' [[NoOneShouldSurviveThat the podium,]] practically sitting on the grenade when it exploded.
--> '''Rotary''': [[ThereIsAGod It's a sign of god!]]
* Soviet brings scuba diving gear on a land mission. While he gets downed pretty quickly, he's inexplicably unable to be revived, and more notably, [[GoodBadBugs appears to be completely invincible until he bleeds out.]] Several shots [[TheGadfly by Cyanide]], multiple close-range grenades, and even more direct shots from a truck-mounted machine gun [[MadeOfIron all completely fail to kill him.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 3]]
* Soviet's confusion over Cyanide mentioning that "Creator/GalGadot is [[Film/WonderWoman2017 Wonder Woman]]", thinking the name "Galga-dot" is of a ''Franchise/{{Godzilla}}'' villain. When Cyanide noted that Gal Gadot isn't a common name, Womble replies, "Nor is Mothra".
* Soviet has a joyride on an ATV suspended by several long cables attached to a ''flying helicopter'', set to the theme of ''Series/ReadingRainbow'', until [[TooDumbToLive the pilot decides attempts to do a mid-air loop.]]
* The incredibly chaotic event where [[HopeSpot just as the team is about to leave a mission site]], an enemy tank appears out of nowhere and utterly devastates the crew. As Soviet is left in the red, he notices an anti-tank launcher, limps towards it, the tank turns around and spots him, [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl he frantically screams]] as he fumbles as it comes barrelling towards him, and then the scene [[MoodWhiplash abruptly smash-cuts to something completely different.]]
* In the lobby, we're treated to a long portion of [[DreadfulMusician Cyanide's dreadful singing]], which Soviet asks the audience to keep in mind before he introduces Edberg, who sings a surprisingly well-done rendition of [[Music/{{Queen}} "Bohemian Rhapsody".]] Cyanide's response?
--> '''Cyanide''': [[BlatantLies He learned how to sing from me.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 4]]
* As a group's helicopter lands on a slope of a rather steep hill, Chinny reports that he can't get out of it and his camera is stuck. [[WithFriendsLikeThese Everyone else decides to push the helicopter down the hill]], and when it reaches the bottom, [[StuffBlowingUp it explodes with him in it.]]
* The clan installs the [[RadioVoice Task Force Radio mod]], which Soviet almost instantly regrets once [[WalkieTalkieGagOver everyone overuses "over" and "copy that"]], they use it while in close proximity to the people they're talking to, and realize they can all [[SensoryAbuse change the volume of their voices to "Yelling."]]
--> '''Echo''': If you want to change channel, use your numpad on the keyboard.\\
'''Quebec''': What if I don't have a numpad?\\
'''Echo''': [[DeadpanSnarker Then you're poor.]]
* As Soviet assembles a squad, when he calls for an LAV driver, Chinny calls out from what sounds like the other side of the room from his mic. To his surprise, he returns with Soviet actually having listed him.
--> '''Chinny''': Oh, you 'eard me?\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, you screamed across the room.\\
'''Chinny''': [[TooMuchInformation I was out shitter!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 5]]
* As Soviet debriefs his squad on the mission, Cyanide gets bored and shoves a mine detector in his face mid-lecture. His confusion is already hilarious, but then others start following in, then Cyanide instead pretends it's a selfie stick, to which everyone, [[NotSoAboveItAll Soviet included]], decides to join in for, complete with a title card resembling a real life military group selfie.
* ''(while in a helicopter)'' "Can we not be 5 metres from the ocean surface, please?"
--> '''Cyanide''': I really like dolphins, I really wanna see one!
--> '''Passenger Soldier:''' ''Lower, please!''
* Soviet and Cyanide's mundane amusement at the "next-gen hand gestures" of an AI officer giving a debrief at the base.
** It's even better than that. That officer giving them the debrief is the "Game Master" of [=Arma3=]'s Zeus Mode, meaning he's an ''actual player'' -- Quebec, to be more specific.
* Soviet having to convince Cyanide that he needs to help rescue the hostages before he can [[SkewedPriorities play with the digger]] they found. Eventually he gets Cyanide to move by promising him that he can bring the hostages back and show them the digger.
** Then the squad finds a larger digger, and they all go up it, except for Cyanide who Soviet ordered to stay on a hill.
-->'''Soviet:''' Aw man, this digger is amazing, isn't it, Ross? Isn't this the greatest digger [[TemptingFate you've ever seen]]?\\
''(Bullet flies by him)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[OhCrap Okay]], he's [[DisproportionateRetribution shooting at us]]! Cyanide is shooting at us!
* When Cyanide is put in charge of a squad, he expresses annoyance with their improper positioning, [[BadBoss tossing a grenade and killing three of them as they bunch up together just to give them a lesson about spacing.]]
* "It's really fucking simple. I wouldn't recommend shooting at me, because your gun goes pew pew but my fucking gun goes..." '[[MoreDakka 30mm Gatling Gun]] whirring'
* Cyanide attempting to impose Zen on the server:
-->'''Cyanide''': SHUT THE FUCK UP! [[HypocriticalHumor I'm trying to impose Zen, you dumb bitch]]!\\
'''Random 1''': Woooooooooo...\\
'''Random 2''': Weeengwoooo...\\
'''Cyanide''': '''''[[SensoryAbuse BZZZZBBZZZBZZBXZBZZXZXZBZZZXZZZZT]]!!!'''''\\
'''Soviet''': AAAAHHHH!!! Owwwww...\\
'''Cyanide''': I win!\\
'''Soviet''': There were no winners in this contest!
* The naming antics of Gambit, [[CrossesTheLineTwice who names himself "Gas Chamber", then later "Auschwitz".]] '''''[[RefugeInAudacity HE'S GERMAN.]]'''''
* "All callsigns, this is Crossroads, be advised. The paramilitary forces in the area have been alerted to your, uh, pre... ''(stammers)'' [[PorkyPigPronunciation pre-pre-pr-pr-pr-pre...]] ''(frustrated)'' [[PorkyPigPronunciation THEY'RE COMING."]]
--> '''Soviet''': (''audibly amused'') Understood, Crossroads.\\
'''Crossroads''': Suck a cock.
* Soviet tries out some new 40mm rounds. He shoots Zodiac point blank with a buckshot round, and [[EpicFail it does nothing]]. Then this happens:
-->'''Soviet:''' So this is something called a stun grenade.\\
''(Shoots grenade at Zodiac, it hits him and just drops to the ground)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[TemptingFate Completely fucking usele]]--''(Grenade goes off)''ARRGHH!!
* Soviet's confusion towards nearby bird calls while in a jungle, which he then realizes is just a teammate through the radio. This culminates in a BrickJoke later:
--> '''Soviet:''' Did you get that?\\
'''Teammate 1:''' ''(whistles)''\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Teammate 2:''' Was that a bird?\\
'''Soviet:''' Urgh, just don't ask.
* The glorious FailureMontage showing ''[[EpicFail 24 ZF members]]'' [[EpicFail getting wasted in a single mission (at least 6 of which died from friendly fire according to the killfeed)]], all while [[SoundtrackDissonance "Moving On Up" by M People plays in the background]].
-->'''Womble''': Jesus, is it just you and me, Aizen?\\
'''Aizen''': Didn't we have more!?\\
'''Womble''': [[RedShirt We had like 12 guys! What happened to the 12 guys we had in our squad 10 minutes ago]]!?
** During the montage:
--->'''Katla''': [[TemptingFate There might be mines in the area.]] ''(explosion, instantly killing 3)''\\
'''Zodiac''': [[OhCrap No! Don't]]-- ''([[KilledMidSentence friendly fire explosion]], killing 4)''
--->'''Soviet''': Christ, 2 guys just got wasted [[BrickJoke because of spacing]].
* The introduction to [[TheUnintelligible Holy'N'Evil/Nevil.]]
--> '''Soviet''': You okay, Nevil? Are you alright?\\
'''Nevil''': Eid new bange on myself?\\
'''Soviet''': Sorry?\\
'''Nevil''': I have bandage but I don't know why I gonda ad bandage do add for some reason.[[labelnote:*]]Possibly: I have a bandage in my inventory, but for some reason I am unable to use it on myself.[[/labelnote]]\\
''({{beat}})''\\
'''Soviet''': Is he speaking English?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Who's still alive in my squad?\\
'''Teammate''': Joep and uh, this guy that can't speak English.\\
'''Nevil''': I cam speek Enlish okay!?\\
'''Soviet''': "She sells sea shells on the sea shore."\\
'''Nevil''': Doeysell on da seesaw?\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Soviet''': Right, that's good enough.
* The squad's annoyance with [=CartonWaffle=] using the radio to broadcast the sounds of himself eating.
--> '''Cyanide''': [=CartonWaffle=], please stay off the radio, you're using a lot of unnecessary chatter.\\
''(radio turns on)''\\
'''[=CartonWaffle=]''': Umm...\\
''[[IResembleThatRemark (radio turns off)]]''
* Cyanide gives a briefing of the new base he finished designing for the clan to use, but asks for a moment of downtime when many of the objects bug out and are floating. Womble and the others think it's still functional and shrug it off, up until one of them gets in a vehicle that [[GoodBadBugs immediately flips out and explodes.]]
* Soviet gets a helium balloon for his birthday. [[HeliumSpeech You can guess the rest.]]
-->'''Soviet:''' ''(in a high-pitched voice)'' Fuck you Cyanide!
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 6]]
* The first clip features a teammate attempting to take down a helicopter with a rocket launcher, but misses... because he isn't carrying one. But then:
--> '''Soviet''': Yeah, obviously, because your rocket launcher is imaginary. ''(brief zoon on Niko's character model holding a rocket launcher that failed to render, making it look like he's just pantomiming holding one)'' [[SarcasmMode Did you make an imaginary miss against the very real helicopter]] that just... [[DoubleTake crashed into the building?]]\\
'''Niko''': See? See?!\\
'''Soviet''': Wait, [[ThisBananaIsArmed so your imaginary rocket just hit]]?!\\
'''Niko''': [[BeyondTheImpossible Yes!]]\\
'''Soviet''': What sort of loopy-land have I entered?!\\
'''Niko''': [[WeirdnessCoupon It's Russia, dude.]]\\
'''Whitey''': ''(pops in from offscreen)'' Welcome to Greybeard's server. ''(leaves)''
** If you take a closer look at the chat, you'll see that someone, presumably the pilot of said helicopter, says that [[IMeantToDoThat they meant to land on the building.]] Still, it's absolutely perfect timing.
* Soviet adoration of the gestures of debriefing officers continues from the last part, which gets amped up where the character played by Zeus [[ArtificialStupidity goes wonky and gets stuck in a loop giving debriefing motions in a jungle with nobody around.]]
-->'''zix7''': Can I shoot him?\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, shoot him.\\
''(everyone guns him down)''\\
'''Zeus''': ''(over the radio)'' What the fuck was that?\\
'''Soviet''': [[BlatantLies Nothing!]]
* In one briefing, Quebec (as a Zeus player) dresses as the general the squad is meant to kill for an objective, and says [[TemptingFate "If you kill this guy, you're good to go."]] Soviet shoots Quebec-as-the-general in the head [[ExactWords and declares the mission complete.]]
* "Hi, [[TheUnintelligible Nevil!]]" "Fuck you."
-->'''Soviet''': ''(after a squad leader disconnects in the middle of a mission)'' Nevil, you're in command.\\
'''Nevil''': Sonarifrity, err, bat bat, errr, long ray radio if you cam.\\
'''Edberg''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, shit.]]\\
\\
'''Nevil''': Err Sovie, salmon be ee go ray?\\
'''Soviet''': Sorry, could you repeat, please?\\
'''Nevil''': Sov bacon, find salmon, can yee both go red.\\
'''Soviet''': Find salmon and go red?\\
'''Nevil''': ''YOU'' and salmon.\\
'''Soviet''': Oh, me and Samming go red team, copy.\\
\\
'''Teammate 2''': Nevil, can you repeat last, please?\\
'''Nevil''': No glue!\\
'''Soviet''': We've got no glue.\\
\\
'''Nevil''': Cy yeah go full butt to butt queue medic don't need to go on the frump.\\
\\
'''Nevil''': If I die, mai be secomb in command, copy? [[FunWithSubtitles (no one is called Mai)]]\\
'''Soviet''': ''([[HesitationEqualsDishonesty hesitant]])'' ...yes. [[FunWithSubtitles (no)]]
** Later on, they find out that [[AccidentalMisnaming they've been misnaming Nevil]]:
-->'''Nevil''': ''(quiet and bitterly)'' My name is not Nee-vil, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bit]]...\\
'''Soviet''': What's that -- What's that sorry Nevil?\\
'''Nevil''': My name is not Neevel, you bith...\\
'''Soviet''': Your name is not Nibble? Oh! ''(reads his name)'' [=HolyN=]'Evil, right so it's not Nevil, your name isn't actually Nevil! ''(laughs)''
* Soviet brings for one mission a shotgun using [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast "Doomsday" rounds]]. At first earns the mockery of the team [[ShortRangeShotgun at long range]], [[MagikarpPower but once they see it in its effective range]]...
-->'''Toucan''': What the fuck kind of gun is that?!\\
'''Soviet''': How those rifles working out for you?\\
'''Cyanide''': We can see concisely where you've been, Soviet, [[FollowTheChaos by tracking the fucking buildings.]]\\
'''Soviet''': When I said [[DoomyDoomsOfDoom Doomsday Rounds]] negated cover, I was being serious.
** In the montage where we see their power, Soviet captions each of his 27 kills... [[StuffBlowingUp and a "house kill?", "wait", "what", "seriously?" and "HOLY SHIT" against a tank.]]
** In future loadups, they have to persuade him to not use the doomsday rounds or even bring a shotgun at all.
* The entire disaster of a mission where the squad has to rescue a hostage named after [[MsFanservice Instagram model Sophia Miacova]] , and despite the squad getting absolutely hammered, [[CelebCrush Cyanide demands everyone press on for her.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': [[PerverseSexualLust I will have my head in between her heavily-muscled thighs!]]\\
'''Soviet''': Seriously, it's not worth it! Like, 20 guys have died, I've taken 3 bullets and some fragmentation to my knees...\\
'''Cyanide''': Yes, but I want to sex her!\\
'''Soviet''': [[DeadpanSnarker Fair enough, that's a good reason.]]
** It turns out to ''not'' be worth it, as they finally find "Sophia"... [[CrossPlayer and not only is it just a dude with an effeminate voice]], [[UnsettlingGenderReveal even his avatar is male.]]
---> '''Cyanide''': I WAS '''CATFISHED!''' ''[[DisproportionateRetribution (unloads an entire clip onto "Sophia")]]''
** Later on, another squad finds "Sophia" again, and Cyanide's a lot more sour after the incident. Once they bring him back to Cyanide, once again, he gets gunned down on sight.
** Even later, [[HereWeGoAgain Cyanide realizes they have to rescue "Sophia"]] ''[[HereWeGoAgain again]]'', and refuses to go.
---> '''Soviet''': But it's a match made in heaven, Cyanide, it's true love!\\
''(Cyanide aims at Soviet)''\\
'''Soviet''': Okay okay okay, plenty more fish in the sea! ''[[OhCrap There's plenty more fish in the sea!]]''
** What's even funnier? [[FreezeFrameBonus THE OPERATION WAS NAMED]] SOPHIA MALE-COVA. The whole thing was obvious from the beginning!
* Zodiac: "My vision's gone very green."
--> '''Soviet''': You've got green sunglasses on.\\
'''Zodiac''': [[CaptainObvious Ah, that might be the reason.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 7]]
* From the briefing for the two pilots:
-->'''Commander:''' There are civilians in the village.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I think the way you pronounce that is [[BlackComedy "Acceptable Casualties."]]\\
'''Soviet:''' No. ''(cut)'' Hearts and minds, we're not bombing the civilians.\\
'''Cyanide:''' Yeah, they'll have hearts and minds, they'll just be [[CrossesTheLineTwice splattered all over the]]...\\
'''Soviet:''' NO.
* And as they are deploying, Cyanide gets stuck.
-->'''Cyanide:''' Uurgh! What the fuck?! Help!
-->'''Soviet:''' What? What's wrong?
-->'''Cyanide:''' I'm in the rotors.
-->'''Soviet:''' What do you mean you're in the rotors?
-->'''Cyanide:''' I'm- [[OhCrap DO NOT TURN ON! DO NOT TURN IT ON TO FULL]]!
-->'''Soviet:''' Turn on the helicopter! Turn on the helicopter!
* While running a checkpoint, a van pulls up:
-->'''Soviet:''' Another truck to the north.\\
'''Team Mate 1:''' He says he doesn't have a bomb, but he won't get out of the car.\\
'''Team Mate 2:''' Be advised, [[OhCrap there is a satchel charge underneath the truck!]]\\
'''Soviet:''' Everyone take cover!\\
''(Soviet takes cover. Cyanide shoots the driver, causing the empty truck to start rolling down the road, go through the checkpoint, then explode)''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[DeadpanSnarker We have to be the worst checkpoint team in the history of checkpoint teams.]]
* After the aforementioned shenanigans, a third vehicle comes up from the other way and runs into the bar gate. Cyanide takes the moment to fully embrace his [[FunnyForeigner Indian stereotype.]]
-->'''Cyanide:''' [[BriefAccentImitation TWENTY DOLLARS! YOU BREAK MY GATE!]] (He chases after the vehicle yelling at it and promptly gets run over)
* As Soviet and two squadmates come across an enemy in a tank, they engage combat, ending with the tank exploding. As Soviet congratulates them, he turns around and realizes his teammates are both dead from the backblast. [[BlackComedy He takes the credit for himself.]]
* "I think Edberg might be down."
--> '''Edberg''': [[ClusterFBomb Who threw that fucking stun grenade? Don't throw as you fucking go, there are people around the FUCKING buildings! Are you FUCKING IDIOTS!?]]\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Cyanide''': ...never mind.
* This little bit:
-->'''Redcoat''': You're in Norwegian camouflage.\\
'''Womble''': Also yeah, why are you in your pajamas, Aizen?\\
'''Aizen''': [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Vahhh saw huh? Hawr doh nohe emote normenn ya skaal fahn ema ta da dee lilleh hoore]]?[[note]][[GratuitousForeignLanguage It's Norwegian for]] "So what, huh? Do you have anything against Norwegians? I'll fucking beat you, you little whore."[[/note]]\\
'''Womble''': ...why is he speaking Elvish?
* At one point, Soviet goes AFK for a moment, which led to everyone else starting to plug Creator/{{Ubisoft}} games, [[Creator/ElectronicArts EA]] games, and pre-ordering in general. Cyanide in particular even plugs his own Twitter account and Twitch channel.
-->'''Cyanide''': Buy all of the [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed Assassin's Creeds]] and everything from Ubisoft ever. [[SarcasmMode Ubisoft's a great company with some great reputation for fantastic DRM]].
** When Soviet comes back and realizes what's going on, [[BerserkButton he's angry since he hates in-stream advertising]]. He tries to shoot Cyanide, but ends up hitting someone else instead. This gets him in trouble with the CO, [[RefugeInAudacity whom he also shoots while explaining to him why he teamkilled]].
* Soviet and Cyanide's squad is brought for a debriefing, but Cyanide insists on traveling across the base using an ATV whose brakes don't even work, including to pick up another member from 20 meters away. Best of all, not only does he bump into another parked ATV when he returns, but he returns with ''the wrong guy.''
--> '''Soviet''': Sorry, did you go to pick up Katla --\\
'''Teammate''': Yeah, that's not Katla.\\
'''Soviet''': You picked up a random rifleman, not the officer?\\
''(Cyanide turns around and realizes it's just a random private)''\\
'''Cyanide''': [[FailedASpotCheck OH WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?]] Fuck off! Get the fuck out of here!\\
''(private wordlessly runs back)''
* Cyanide can somehow correctly guess the flavor of Pringles from the sound they make when shook in the can. Even Soviet sounds surprised when he gets it right.
* Soviet's first time driving the [[TankGoodness M1A2 Abrams]] is very clumsy, but when an enemy APC appears out of nowhere, Soviet's first reaction to fighting it is to back up and [[RammingAlwaysWorks ram straight into it.]] It ''[[StuffBlowingUp works]]''.
** Later on, the squad notices a solar tower and begin debating whether or not they should blow it up, and Cyanide ends up firing anyway, [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace knocking out the platoon leader from the concussive blast of the shell being fired and passing overhead.]] Even worse, it turns out their friendly spotters were on top of the tower, leading Cyanide to yell [[OhCrap "OH SHIT!"]]
* Soviet takes down an enemy helicopter while on foot, [[OhCrap then runs off when he realizes it's about to fall on top of him...]] except it doesn't. [[DoubleSubversion Then the instant he moves out, it does.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 8]]
* The entire squad's series of [[ThisIsGonnaSuck annoyed "No"'s when they realize Cyanide is their pilot.]]
** Made even more hilarious when Cyanide fires back with complaints about ''Soviet'' being put on his ship.
* The squad gets told to eliminate a downed friendly helicopter (the mission was either to recover or destroy it to prevent the enemy from recovering it), but Nyan ends up misfiring ''two'' rockets at it. [[BrickJoke Later on...]]
-->'''Quebec''': I heard the order for somebody to blow it up, and was like "Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense," and then there was an explosion somewhere in the next village.\\
'''Cyanide''': It was like someone was getting a cup of coffee and then suddenly a fucking ''rocket'' pops in through the window.\\
'''Quebec''': Locked onto his Gameboy or something.\\
''(chat laughs)''
* During one mission as the squad are pressing onto a target location, Soviet notices two unknown figures in the distance, calls in an air strafe (to Cyanide, who for his mission was callsigned [[InherentlyFunnyWords "Bamboonium"]]) and shoots them down... and then another squadmate correctly identifies them as civilians.
-->'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Wait, you're kidding me!?]]\\
'''Teammate 1''': [[DeadpanSnarker I don't see civilians anymore.]]\\
'''Soviet''': [[OhCrap Oohhhh...]] [...] Err, Bamboonium, wave off please, I think I just called in an airstrike on a civilian target! Ohhh noo...\\
'''Teammate 2''': That's a court-martialin'!
** Later when the squad is investigating the village and checking the casualties, Soviet asks if the blue guy he shot had a gun, and a teammate confirms [[BlatantLies he does as he plants a gun as evidence.]]
** Even later in chat:
---> '''Soviet''': My squad basically committed a war crime in the middle of that...\\
'''Teammate 1''': You mean ''you'' committed that? Not the squad?\\
'''Soviet''': Okay, ''[[NeverMyFault we]]'' [[NeverMyFault just wiped out a village of at least 25 people.]]\\
'''Teammate 2''': I'm willing to testify against my squad leader in exchange for immunity.
* "What the fuck? What is THAT?! [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever THERE'S A GIANT TRYING TO BOARD THE HELICOPTER]]!"
* As Soviet is listening to Edberg's mumbling, one of his Twitch notifications pops up to let him know of a re-sub, and when he tries to ask him to repeat what he said, [[ThatCameOutWrong he ends up saying "I can't hear you over the sound of people subscribing."]]
---> '''Soviet:''' I wasn't trying to give you sass there, I was being serious.
--->'''[[FunWithSubtitles Accidental Sass]]:''' I can't hear you over the sound of people giving me money.
* Soviet and Cyanide are paired up as a sniper squad for one mission, and immediately it devolves into a game of oneupmanship of Twitch subscribers.
--> '''Soviet''': Saite, thank you user Saite on Twitch for subbing to me!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=TattemWater=], thank you so much for subscribing! [=GhostBravo=], thank you so much for -- \\
'''Soviet''': [=Robin4TheWin=], thank you for subbing to me and not Cyanide, thank you!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=ComradeHedonismBot=], thank you so much for subscribing!\\
'''Soviet''': Jumitor, thank you for subbing to me!\\
'''Cyanide''': [=Lulabull123=], thank you so much for subscribing!\\
'''Soviet''': Bailey, thank you for subscribing, thank you! [=Ragnar112=], thank you for -- \\
'''Cyanide''': [=Ragnar112=]--[[DoubleTake wait,]] [[BigWhat what!?]]\\
'''Soviet''': Shut the fuck up!
** "[[OnlySaneMan GET IN THE HELICOPTER]]!!"
** Later while on the mission itself, the Soviet realizes that since they're all alone, [[ShameIfSomethingHappened if one of them was to get in an accident, nobody would know how except them.]] They immediately point their guns at each other, then call for a truce.
** Cyanide's idea of interacting with civilians:
---> '''Cyanide''': Yes sir, don't worry, we'll take very good care of you. ''[[BlatantLies (immediately caps him]] [[ImmediateSelfContradiction in the head)]]''
* Soviet finds a go-kart (or ''[[InsistentTerminology Command Mobility Vehicle]]'' if he's to be believed) in the middle of a mission:
-->''(Accidentally runs over a teammate running after him [[GoodBadBugs despite not touching him]])''\\
'''Soviet:''' [[NeverMyFault You screwed]] with the [[BadBoss chain of command]], you got bit, okay, fuck you.\\
'''Medic:''' ''(Faintly)'' [[BlackComedy You killed him!]]
** Later leading a squad into a fight... while still [[{{Bathos}} driving the go-kart]]. And singing the ''Film/JurassicPark'' theme. And telling the guys on foot to hurry up. Then getting angry when one of his squadmates shoots the engine of the [[InsistentTerminology Command Mobility Vehicle]].
* The RapidFireComedy before Soviet before his time as a medic.
-->'''Cyanide''': Can you repeat the part where you said the stuff about all the things because I wasn't listening?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Why exactly did we capture Asian Tiger Woods?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Cyanide, nothing needs to be said, but somehow I know that you're responsible for that (cut to a floating upside-down tank).
* The entire RapidFireComedy section of Soviet being a field medic.
--> '''Soviet''': I now pronounce you legally dead.\\
'''[[BlatantLies Still-standing soldier]]''': Can I get a second opinion?\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Shit, I've accidentally given one of you LSD!\\
\\
'''Soviet''': Hah, I'm actually pretty good at the medic, I think!\\
'''Teammate 1''': [[subscript: I can't feel my legs!]]\\
'''Soviet''': Yeah, I think I've found my calling!\\
'''Teammate 2''': [[subscript: ahh...]]
** [[BlatantLies Diagnosing]] several teammates as having [[BlackComedy AIDS]]
-->'''Soviet:''' It's a gunshot wound.\\
'''Teammate:''' Really?\\
'''Soviet:''' [[FalseReassurance No]], it's AIDS.
** The following:
--> '''Soviet:''' Don't mix prescription medicines... unless you're [[Creator/HeathLedger Heath]] [[BlackComedy Ledger]]\\
''Beat''\\
'''Soviet:''' NO WAIT! [[CrossesTheLineTwice Especially]] if you're Heath Ledger!
* Soviet's incredulity of a squadmate bringing a ''ladder'' into battle... [[LethalJokeItem then actually putting it to good use to simply climb up to a second-story window to shoot the targets inside.]]
** Saying that the purpose of the ladder is that it allows him to engage in a [[ProfessionalWrestling cage ladder-match]] against Wrestling/TripleH and Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin.
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Part 10]]
* Soviet, trying to rescue informant [[Series/TopGearUK Clarkson]] in (presumably) Afghanistan:
--> '''Soviet''': Hello? What's hello in Arabic? ''(whispering)'' Chat, what's hello in Arabic? Don't say something racist, for the love of god don't say something racist. ''(normal)'' umm... Shalom. [[note]] which '''is''' Hello... in ''Hebrew''.[[/note]]
* Someone having shot an enemy, only to find out they were unconscious when they got shot by that enemy.
--> '''Soviet''': That's what you double tap.
--> '''Cyanide''': Double tapped {{Your Mom}} last night. ''(begins spinning around while yawning)''
--> (''[[DisproportionateRetribution Is shot by Soviet]]'')
--> '''Cyanide''': Fair.
* Soviet, referencing the time [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cyanide was catfished]] in Part 6:
--> '''Soviet''': The town we're in now is called [[CallBack Sofia]].
--> '''Cyanide''': I don't want to talk about it.
* During a World War II mission, Soviet's group is playing as British commandos meeting up with Norwegian resistance. To help with the immersion, the Norwegians are speaking their native language, and Cake provided the British with a translation guide and phrasebook to help them communicate. Hilarity ensures.
** One of the phrases ("Nar er neste pisspreikeriutgivelse?") is translated as "Have you seen any Germans nearby?" In fact, it actually translates to [[{{Troll}} "When is the next bullshittery?"]]
** "Cake doesn't get it, we're British. We just point at things and speak English louder."
** The most important phrase they learn: "Hest kuk." Translation? "Horse cock." Which gets screamed constantly when they meet up with the Norwegians.
[[/folder]]
!Antistasi
[[folder: Part 9]]
* The video opens with a meticulously edited-together NewsBroadcast establishing the context for the Antistasi campaign. [[FreezeFrameBonus Among the scrolling headlines at the bottom]] is text reading "[[OnlyInFlorida Florida Woman Calls Police on Eight Year Old for Selling Water]]".
* As the group starts the game mode, one of the members immediately gets sidetracked by the notice of them doing "guerrilla warfare" and starts singing ''Music/{{Gorillaz}}'' songs.
-->'''Digby''': ''♪ Get the cool shoeshine... ♪''\\
'''Soviet''': Fuck your shoeshine! ''([[DisproportionateRetribution shoots him dead]])''
* This exchange:
-->'''Moogle:''' Oh, if you wanna put anything than flip-flops on, now's the time.
-->'''Soviet:''' No, no, these are my battle flip-flops. I fight with the strength of ten men with my battle flip-flops. Ten really puny men.
* "I'm wearing a balaclava! But I don't think I'm incognito enough! ''[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Double balaclava]]!''"
* Soviet chooses to name the group "The Badgers", and as he comes up with their battle cry, the footage is cut with an [[ThemeTune epic Badgers jingle]] that slowly devolves [[SlowlySlippingIntoEvil as the campaign goes on]].
---> ''The Badgers, they are The Badgers'' ("Yeah!")\\
''They fight for freedom and democracy'' ("Woo!")\\
''Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!''
** "Ooh, badgers hiss? That's brilliant!" ''(patriotic hiss)''
** Much to Soviet's annoyance, the rest of the team isn't quite on board with the title, preferring to just call it "Badger", if even that.
---> '''Digby''': The Molos Independence and Liberation Front is the name of this organisation.\\
'''Soviet''': [[FunWithAcronyms M.I.L.F.]]!?\\
'''Digby''': For the glory of M.I.L.F.!\\
'''Soviet''': We are not being called M.I.L.F.! We are the Badgers!\\
'''Quebec''': I've already got a tattoo though, Soviet!
* "I thought we were trying to make this a dictatorship."
-->'''Soviet''': No, we're fighting for democracy!\\
'''Cadsade''': [[OnlyInItForTheMoney Am I the only one fighting for money here]]?\\
'''Soviet''': Fine, you can fight for money. If you want.
* Soviet claiming that, while undercover, they can just claim to be [[VideoGame/{{ARMA}} Bohemia developers]] photographing the countryside as research if they get caught[[note]]For those who don't know, during the development of ARMA III, two developers from Bohemia Interactive (the makers of ARMA) where arrested while on vacation in Greece under the charge of photographing Greek military instillations without permission for research purposes. As an aside, the charges were eventually proven to be false[[/note]].
* The first sign of things to come is the aftermath of their first successful mission, where after capturing a few [=NPCs=] as political prisoners, Gatsa sets up one of them as a squad leader, prompting them to [[KickTheDog literally take him behind the woodshed and shooting him dead]].
* Soviet partakes in another mission, but as they're geared up to go, the player in the driver's seat becomes AFK.
-->'''Quebec''': Is it the guy in the right hand seat?\\
'''Moogle''': Yeah.\\
'''Quebec''': ''([[KickTheDog machine-guns him to death]] then turns to Soviet)'' There you go, get in.\\
'''Soviet''': Jesus Christ, he was one of us!\\
'''Quebec''': [[BlatantLies Insubordination]].\\
'''Soviet''': Insubordination!?\\
'''Moogle''': Soviet, you can get in now.\\
'''Soviet''': Not sure if I want to!
** During the drive to drop off propaganda pamphlets, they agree to the terms of their proposed system: Digby will only be able to command President Soviet to run the country on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Chairman Moogle on Mondays and Tuesdays, Minister Quebec on Fridays, alternating on weekends. Soviet further proposes that Thursdays be government-free anarchy days (inexplicably represented with a video of a group of people attacking a trash can).
** After Soviet asks if they're going to drive on the left side or the right side of the road, they decide that they can't so either side any favour, so they're going to drive [[GoldenMeanFallacy straight down the middle]].
* [[GoodBadBugs One guy gets stuck on a rock and somehow]], [[TemptingFate he can't be killed]]. Soviet decides to prove it and shoots him point blank. [[OhCrap Only he fired a 40mm grenade round]]. Everybody gives him hell for him and [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Soviet can only laugh at the fact he nearly killed them all]]. So he decides to stick to regular rounds from there on.
-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Moogle]]:''' Next time you're about to kill us all, a little bit of warning.
* Digby keeps on singing to the point he's the team bard. During a drive, he sings a rather impressive piece of "Men of Harlech" until they come head to head with a Russian patrol. They urge him to sing something Russian. Not knowing a word of the language, Digby fumbles it and they get discovered.
* "There's a dog up there, [[TemptingFate don't shoot it]]." ''(beat)'' ''([[KickTheDog shot]])'' "[[BigNo NOO]]--"
** Moogle and Soviet are on a mission to recruit [=NPCs=] into the resistance, but one they encounter inside a house is bugged out and unresponsive.
-->'''Moogle''': [[JoinOrDie You, join us or die.]]\\
'''Soviet''': No, no, this is not what our resistance stands for! We're about justice, and--[[BuffySpeak and like, fairness...]]\\
'''Moogle''': How the hell are we gonna complete the mission if this guy doesn't join our group?\\
'''Soviet''': Hearts and minds! It's about getting people on our side.\\
'''Moogle''': Just... get in the truck.\\
'''Soviet''': Get in the truck, alright. ''(leaves the building)''\\
'''Moogle''': Ah... ha-choo! ''([[ShootTheShaggyDog gunshot]])''\\
'''Soviet''': Augh, for fuck's sake!
** As the leave the mission, Soviet finds another dog [[CutenessProximity and coos over it]] before heading to the truck. [[{{Troll}} They back into it.]]
* The return of the Badgers anthem following these actions, accompanied with a darker-colored logo, featuring a badger in more guerilla-style uniform and covered in money:
-->''The Badgers, they are The Badgers''\\
''They fight for freedom, [[OnlyInItForTheMoney but mainly money]]'' ("That's just Moogle...")\\
''and a restrictive democracy'' ("Well no, just democracy...")\\
''where women can't vote'' ("Okay, wait--")\\
''[[ForTheEvulz and they kill dogs]]!'' ("No--wait, hold on a sec--")\\
''and spread propaganda'' ("No, it's not propaganda!")\\
''[[DisproportionateRetribution and they shot a young man 'cause he wouldn't sign up]]!'' ("He was just bugged out!")\\
''[[IHaveAFamily He had a family, they miss him]]!'' ("Okay, hold on--")\\
''No one tell Womble that Gambit's been smuggling drugs'' ("[[DoubleTake He's doing what]]?")\\
''Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!''
* During a sudden ambush, Womble rescues a wounded Poro and takes him behind cover for medical treatment. Once he finishes and Poro gets back up, his mic comes back on to reveal he'd been playing the ''USSR Anthem'' during the entire procedure.
* After a successful base raid, the squad notices an enemy helicopter coming towards them, but it turns out it's piloted by a resistance member, telling the others to hold fire through the walkie-talkies. [[PoorCommunicationKills Unfortunately, Soviet can't hear them over the heavy rain, and he blasts it down with an anti-air rocket.]]
-->'''Soviet''': [[TemptingFate It's alright, I'm sure they're fine, I'm sure they made it, they're okay]].\\
''([[DescriptionCut cut to]] Rorkiy at the crash site screaming as PsychoStrings play)''
** After the Friendly Fire Incident, Womble is talking to a Russian soldier who's surrendered about what the Badgers are going to do once they have set up a working government over Altis, and all the soldier can think of is the song "The Sound of Silence" before he gets shot in the head. Womble isn't upset over the blatant war crime that just took place as he is over the fact that:
---> '''Soviet''': [[SeriousBusiness I WAS ESPOUSING OUR MANIFESTO]]!
* One of the squad members is about to shoot a LAW, so Womble and the other member [[ShownTheirWork get clear of]] [[MissingBackblast the backblast]]... only for the guy firing the LAW to accidentally knock ''himself'' out with the backblast.
* During a mission, Quebec seizes an enemy tank, which [[GoodBadBugs inexplicably flips itself over]]. The squad thinks it could still be salvaged, but when he tries to tow it with a truck, it makes horrible screeching noises and simply refuses any attempts to flip it right-side up again. [[FromBadToWorse Eventually, Quebec accidentally causes it to collide with a building]], [[IncendiaryExponent igniting it and its ammunition]], killing nearly everyone from the thermal damage as he continues driving around with a flaming tank trailing behind.
-->'''Womble''': It's like Greek fire! [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidVThePhantomPain A weapon to surpass Metal Gear]]...
* Eventually, the clan's descent into actual terrorism (including [[MoralEventHorizon executing surrendering enemy soldiers]] and ''suicide-bombing'') prompts a third version of the Badgers anthem, [[BloodierAndGorier with the logo badger drenched in terrifying fire and]] ''[[BloodierAndGorier eating a human arm]]'':
-->''The Badgers, they are The Badgers''\\
''[[ProtagonistJourneyToVillain They're terrorists]]!'' ("[[HeelRealization Oh god, we are, aren't we]]?")\\
''They like to [[EatsBabies eat babies]]!'' ("Fuck...")\\
''And terrorize the populace with suicide bombers!'' ("Is this what we are?")\\
''[[LeaveNoSurvivors And gun down Russian soldiers that have clearly surrendered]]!''\\
''Because they're assholes'' ("What have we become?")\\
''and thundercunts'' ("Yeah...")\\
''and Quebec parked his APC inside an orphanage!'' ("Oh, for fuck's sake!")\\
''Badgers, they were The Badgers!'' ("What do you mean 'were'?")\\
''From henceforth they have now announced a partnership with ISIS!'' ([[CrossesTheLineTwice plays]] "[[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/salil-sawarim-saleel-al-sawarim Saleel al-Sawarim]]") ("[[MyGodWhatHaveIDone We're fucking terrorists! We're just terrorists]]!")
** And right before the final shingle, the others reveal to Womble that they had been EvilAllAlong.
--->'''Moogle:''' [[NecessarilyEvil Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty]].\\
'''Womble:''' No, no. Already on Youtube, I'm famous for [[CallBack accidentally wiping out a village]] and now I am part of an illegal insurgency.\\
'''Moogle:''' [[WideEyedIdealist Should have known what you were signing up for]].\\
'''Womble:''' [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Oh, for-]] ''({{headdesk}})''
* ''Immediately'' following this, Soviet discovers that his fellow resistance members ''are using civilians as human shields during a raid.''
--->'''Soviet''': [[BigNo NO, NO, NO]], don't use civilians as a human fucking shield! That is... what!?\\
'''Poro''': I am naming him Roberto.\\
''(long beat as he runs offscreen with him)''\\
'''Soviet''': We're gonna be fucking tried in The Hague. By the end of this, we're gonna get tried in the fucking Hague.
** Even worse, they discover that since they can shoot while using human shields, ''they're actually really effective in combat'', to a point where [[NotSoAboveItAll Womble simply gives up and takes the base with everyone else with one in tow]].
--->'''Soviet''': Fucking hell, we actually took the base, through err... by exploiting the mercy of our enemy, I think. We are terrible people. We are genuinely... genuinely terrible people.
* Womble discovering that [[CaptainObvious mortars are loud]]... and that the Russians can hear the sound of a mortar firing... and send a [[OhCrap HIND to investigate and neutralise the threat]]. Cue the Russians wiping out Resistance HQ, ending the game for ''everyone''. In fairness, another player knew that the Russians could eventually zero in on the mortars, knew Womble was playing around with the AI mortar team, and didn't bother to tell him until ''after'' the Russians had shown up.
* The video ends with another montage of NewsBroadcast, this one establishing the aftermath of the Russians wiping out the Badgers, or as they will be remembered in a final kick in Womble's teeth: M.I.L.F. After reporting on their various atrocities, followed by reports of the newly-vindicated Russian government cleaning up the mess and a LandslideElection in favor of Altis becoming a semi-autonomous territory of Russian, it finishes with the beginning of a report on whether or not [[MoodWhiplash violent battle royale video games are causing autism in children]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 1/5]]
* At the very start of a new Antistasi campaign, [[LazyBum Cyanide]] decides to log off...[[ToiletHumor in the toilet.]] Several others promptly follow in logging off in the toilet.
-->'''Womble:''' [[QuoteMine Also, I swear to God, if one of you drills a glory-hole-]]
* [[TheLoad Cyanide promptly chews up the resistance's funds by accidentally buying a speedboat]], and when he darts to it in search of girls on the beach, they fire at it ''and him'' with an RPG.
-->'''Cyanide''': Look, if we're gonna kickstart a resistance, we need to raise funds. [[InsaneTrollLogic Get a boat, put lots of girls in bikinis on that boat]], [[MissingStepsPlan then charge desperate wankers like yourself to get on the boat]]. But now you've fucking broken that, so we've got to do stupid shit like fight people.
* During a simple early-game mission to take a lightly-occupied power plant, Womble notices some rumbling noises in the distance. After a while, the squad discovers it's [=TobiWan=], [[AchievementsInIgnorance who inexplicably got his hands on]] ''[[AchievementsInIgnorance an air-superiority fighter jet]]'', [[EpicFail only for it to explode as he rolls it down the road]].
-->'''Tobi:''' Viva la revolution!
** After liberating said power plant, Poro decides to take a human shield. [[CallBack Again.]] Womble...points this out.
--> '''Womble:''' You can't do that, Poro, we've- Poro, we've [[BlackComedy done that joke!]]
* Following in the footsteps of M.I.L.F. from the last campaign, Digby once again overrides naming their resistance "The Badgers" with "The [[FunWithAcronyms Workers and National Kinsmen]]" (or alternatively, "Workers Autonomous National [[ShoehornedFirstLetter Kolle]][[XtremeKoolLetterz ctive]]").
-->'''Womble''': No, we're not W.A.N.K.! We are The Badgers!\\
'''Digby''': [[CallBack I thought all the Badgers went to The Hague and were prosecuted!]]\\
'''Womble''': This is a SoftReboot!
* During a quiet moment, Vesper accidentally runs over an AFK Quebec with his tank, which everyone tells him to stop doing... until they realize it's ''Quebec'', [[KickTheDog so they all decide to riddle his injured body with bullets]].
* Cyanide finds a new hat, which it turns out is just ''an entire crate'' almost bigger than he is where his head should be.
-->'''Cyanide''': [--This is how I'm bringing ammo to the fight.--]\\
'''Digby''': Your voice is muffled!\\
'''Cyanide''': [--[[DeadpanSnarker Why do you think my voice is muffled, Digby!?]]--]
* Moogle and Soviet wander into a seemingly-abandoned residential area, guided by the former's "spidey senses". When they enter in a building, both are surprised to discover a few leftover refugees from an expired mission hanging out in it. Soviet only concludes that Moogle's senses are just a {{Gaydar}} to detect single men in his area.
* As they were doing the Pamphlets mission, they discover accidentally that the text is readable. And all of it is basically Anti-British Conservative propaganda. They are totally on board with distributing these pamphlets.
-->'''Moogle:''' And who said you can't learn anything from video games.
-->'''Soviet:''' I'm just glad it's not about Brexit, otherwise the box would be on fire.
* One incognito mission has the squad meet up a corrupt officer at a location while dressed as civilians. Naturally, [[TheGadfly Cyanide's approach is as suspicious as possible]].
--->'''Cyanide''': [[BadBadActing HELLO, SIR!]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial I AM NOT HERE TO MEET YOU FOR ANY BAD PURPOSES]], PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE MILITARY THINGS IN THE AREA, [[BlatantLies BECAUSE I AM A TOURIST AND A MILITARY ENTHUSIAST.]]\\
'''Soviet''': [[RealitySubtext He's a Bohemia dev]], [[NeverLiveItDown arrest him!]]
** While attempting to negotiate with the officer, [[ContinuityNod the gang converse over Cyanide's encounter with Sofia Miacova in a past Bullshittery]].
--->'''Womble''': Some people keep quoting things that I've edited and I can't even remember editing them.\\
'''Cyanide''': Some people quote things and I'm like "Why are you saying such horrible things?", and then I realize ''I'' said them and I'm like "Ahh, okay cool."
* Towards the end, they stop at a gas station to fuel up. When Soviet connects the nozzle, it winds up [[WreakingHavok in the back seat of their truck, behind Moogle]].
-->'''Womble''': Sit still--right. You might feel a slight sloshing sensation around your feet.\\
'''Moogle''': ''(bubbling noises)''\\
'''Womble''': Heh...just don't [[ExplosiveStupidity start smoking]], whatever you do.
* The ending is dedicated to [=KayJay=]'s [[{{Awwchoo}} inappropriately adorable and high-pitched sneezing]], which Womble describes as "Tinkerbell having an orgasm." [[FanDisservice Then KayJay decides to imitate the noise proper.]]
-->'''Womble''': That was not a fucking sneeze!\\
'''[=KayJay=]''': It was a sneeze! Real men don't need their sneezes to sound masculine, okay?\\
'''Womble''': Real men just fucking sneeze! Real men don't sound like a fairy having a stroke!\\
'''[=KayJay=]''': Well maybe I'm the fucking manliest fairy that you've ever seen in your life! [[KilledMidSentence Must]]-- ''([[DisproportionateRetribution Womble guns him down]])''\\
'''Womble''': I really doubt it.\\
'''Nordern''': [[DeadpanSnarker Is that how you win every argument]], [[MurderIsTheBestSolution just shoot the opposition in the face?]]\\
'''Womble''': [[BluntYes It's worked so far!]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 2/5]]
* During one mission, Chinny is shot down by a sniper, prompting Womble to go through his backpack to find first aid to recover him. He proceeds to discover ''77 morphine injectors''.
-->'''Womble''': Are you dealing drugs?!\\
'''Chinny''': No!\\
'''Womble''': Yeah, of course the fucking [[OopNorth northerner's]] a smackhead.
** Not much later, Womble is also shot down, but while Chinny manages to restabilize him, he continues to flash white with pain since Chinny refuses to give his morphine.
* One mission features Womble, Nevil, Chinny, and a [[StonersAreFunny seriously drugged-out Aizen]] sneaking into a factory to plant bombs and destroy it.
-->'''Aizen''': Alright, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} the bird is in the bin and has been fed the worm]]...
** When they successfully plant the charges and drive off, Womble pushes the detonator... [[AntiClimax and the explosions fail to deal any damage]]. [[BigWhat Everyone in the crew has the same reaction,]] and Aizen [[IronicEcho futilely sings the Badgers anthem]].
--->'''Womble''': We genuinely suck, folks.\\
'''Nevil''': No ''you'' suck!\\
'''Womble''': I planted the detonators just fine!\\
'''Nevil''': Fucking useless! Hear what I'm saying: fuck you.\\
\\
'''Womble''': Chinny, where did you buy those explosives?!\\
'''Chinny''': Sketchy Irishman!\\
'''Womble''': Is there a slight clue in his name, the fact that he's a ''sketchy'' Irishman?\\
'''Chinny''': It's sketchy 'cause the fact he sells bombs, alright?!\\
'''Womble''': Could you not have bought it from the Totally Legitimate and Highly Competent Irishman?!\\
'''Chinny''': [[DumbassHasAPoint We'll make do with the ones that sell us shit rather than the ones that don't]].\\
'''Womble''': Ugh. For Christ's sake...
** On the drive back to base, mrbatty's car ends up getting rear-ended by a civilian.
--->'''mrbatty''': [[ArtificialStupidity I just got rear-ended by a fucking civvie]].\\
'''Womble''': There goes your no-claims bonus.\\
''(explosion sound in the background)''\\
'''Womble''': ...Did you kill him? [[DisproportionateRetribution You killed him! You just killed him!]]\\
'''mrbatty''': You can't make a claim if you're dead.\\
'''Womble''': What the shit?!\\
'''mrbatty''': My no-claims bonus is safe!
* "[[Theatre/LesMiserables Some will fall, and some will live, will you stand up and claim your chance / the blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of Fra]]--''[[LastSecondWordSwap Altis!]]''"
* After Aizen observes during a ride that they're six dudes in a truck, he plays a small music sample. When Cyanide asks why he recognizes it, [[HoYay it's pointed out that it's a Pornhub bumper]], [[VerbalBackspace to which he promptly feigns ignorance]].
* Back at the swamp base, W.A.N.K. arranges for the next several missions to be done, one of which is to take a truck to drop off propaganda leaflets. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent They don't realize that during all of this, Nevil has quietly taken the truck for himself]] until he's driven off.
* During another moment of downtime at the base, Cyanide points Womble to their Garage, showing that he managed to capture ''a fully intact Su-25'' [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome after holding out in an airfield for an entire afternoon, armed with only a sniper rifle and a pistol]]. Womble is understandably bewildered by this achievement.
-->'''Womble''': We're in a swamp! Where did you land?!\\
'''Cyanide''': [[BoringButPractical I landed on the beach, then I drove it from the beach to the base]]. [[AwesomeButImpractical We can't actually really use it]], but I feel it's like a really nice, yknow... it's for the principle of it.\\
'''Womble''': You went and got a trophy?\\
'''Cyanide''': Yeah, it took me three hours, totally WorthIt!
* For some reason, [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Quebec and Cyanide spend a mission]] speaking [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents in Geordie]].
-->'''Cyanide''': I'm in the fookin' truck, let's gooo. ''(gunfire)'' AH, FOOK! IN THE FOOKIN' FIELD! AYE SHOT A FUCKIN' GUN AT US!\\
'''Quebec''': THESE FUCKIN' GLASSES AIN'T PRESCRIPTION, MAN!
* Womble suddenly grips onto the IdiotBall during a mission to take down an enemy tank patrol and placing an anti-tank mine on the ''civilian'' road. [[LethallyStupid Naturally, things go haywire when a civilian truck ends up getting blown up by it.]]
-->'''Womble''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But it's an anti-tank mine! Why would it go off? It's an anti]]...\\
'''Cyanide''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh my god, you moron, are you serious?!]]\\
''(Moogle bursts out laughing)''\\
'''Cyanide''': You put an anti-tank mine on ''the fucking main road!''\\
'''Womble''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint But t-they don't]]--\\
'''Cyanide''': [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THE MAIN! FUCKING! ROAD!]] YOU PUT AN ANTI-TANK MINE ON THE MAIN FUCKING ROAD THAT CIVILIANS USE! '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis HOW! FUCKING! DUMB! ARE YOU?!]]'''\\
'''Womble''': I think we've learned a valuable lesson today.
* At one point the entire clan is at the HQ, due to the server being bugged out, with no missions spawning among other...apparent issues.
-->'''Vesper''': Right now, this happens when I shoot people. [''pulls out his rifle and shoots another player in the chest. Said player falls over dead.''] ...[[CaptainObvious You die.]][[labelnote:*]]Apparently the issue Vesper was trying to point out was that units aren't getting their revive timers, they're just falling dead with no chance for a medic to tend to them.[[/labelnote]]
-->'''Womble''': ...as opposed to what? It's not exactly a kiss of life. [...] You shoot people in the chest and they fall down dead. 'That's wrong!' [[SarcasmMode Clearly!]]
* Womble's premade loadouts include "Chinny can't drive", "NEVIL IS SHIT" (and also "NEVIL IS SHIT 2"), "Cyanide likes willy", "Edberg is gaaaaaay", and "Digby is a twat".
* [[BrickJoke Womble squads up to return to the earlier factory]] in another attempt to take it down, this time [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill placing more than twice the explosives from before]]. [[NoSell When that still doesn't work,]] the squad come up with a new plan that essentially boils down "[[ExternalCombustion sticking bombs all over one of their cars, driving it into the factory, then detonating it]]". After placing the bombs, Aizen is handed the dead man's switch... and then he's suddenly disconnected from the server, and after a brief delay (punctuated by an increasingly gleeful SynchroVox face one of the bombs), [[EpicFail they go off and kill the entire team]].
* [[HumiliationConga As one last kick in the teeth]], the resistance is in the process of capturing a different factory, and during the firefight, a quad bike goes up in flames. [[CherryTapping The single explosion instantly totals the entire thing]].
-->'''mrbatty''': Ummm....\\
'''Womble''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh, you're fucking joking...]] ''Fuck you, ARMA! Fuck you!''
* Finally, Cyanide decides he's had enough of fighting Russians and using Russian guns, he wants to switch up things. So they decide to fight Americans, therefore doing away with the facade that they're not terrorists and now be blatant terrorists. Which is going to happen in the next entry.
-->'''Soviet:''' Right. No chanting "Death to America".
-->'''Clan Member:''' Awwwww.
-->'''Soviet:''' Okay, a little bit "Death to America".
-->'''Clan Member:''' Yaaaay!
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 3/5]]
* Soviet narrates the in-universe explanation for them opposing American troops (and why Americans are on Altis to begin with) with that oil has been recently discovered on Altis.
* Cyanide steals Katla's car. This lasts until Cyanide is lying wounded on the ground...at which point mrbatty steals Katla's car. Subsequently, Cyanide blows it up with their only bomb, during a raid so ill-planned that Soviet is the only one with an actual gun.
* They decide to go and "poke the Yanks". It turns out during the following montage that "the Yanks" have a particular line in DisproportionateRetribution.
-->'''Womble:''' Is that a drone? That's a drone. We stole some shitty beat-up truck and they send out a four million dollar drone?\\
'''Womble:''' It's a small checkpoint, we'll be right-[cue gunfire] JESUS FUCK WHAT THE SHIT?\\
'''Womble:''' Oh god.\\
'''Womble:''' OH GOD\\
'''Womble:''' [being fired at by multiple helicopters] So what we're learning is that the Americans have ''absolutely no chill''.\\
'''Digby:''' Someone in my chat asked how it feels that we've created an insurgency that elicits a bigger response than Bin Laden did.
* Moogle shoots a police officer.
-->'''Womble:''' You can't do that, that's illegal!\\
'''Digby:''' Well, we are running an illegal insurgency!\\
'''Womble:''' That's ''more'' illegal!
* Womble has a hard time getting his clanmates to not harass the war correspondents. Eventually, he's riding a quad with Nevil, who runs one over, insists "accidents happen", and then steals a car and bails; Womble moves to treat him, and comes to a horrifying revelation:
-->'''Womble:''' Wait, hang on, he's with the ''[[AcceptableTargets Daily Mail!]]'' [opens fire]\\
[cut to Womble in the car with Nevil]\\
'''Womble:''' Accidents happen.\\
'''Nevil:''' Accidents happen.\\
'''Womble:''' Yeah, they just happen.
* "WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS GAME [[DrivesLikeCrazy DRIVE LIKE A FUCKING NUTCASE?!]]"
* Forward planning is vital.
-->'''Nevil:''' Mortar incoming!\\
'''Womble:''' Nevil, where are you firing?\\
'''Nevil:''' [[RecklessGunUsage Don't know.]]\\
'''Womble:''' [[OnlySaneMan What do you mean you DON'T KNOW?]]
* [[SuicidalOverconfidence Nevil's entire attempt]] to [[LeeroyJenkins two-man an American outpost with Womble]] to "[[TestosteronePoisoning do what men do]]".
-->'''Womble:''' Do what men do? ''Get shot?!''\\
[later]\\
'''Womble:''' Is anyone on this comm?\\
'''Clan Member:''' Yeah, we're on it.\\
'''Womble:''' If you see Nevil can you tell him he's a fucking turnip.\\
'''CM:''' Do you need medical assistance?\\
'''Womble:''' No, but ''[[ImpliedDeathThreat he will.]]''
* At the end of it, Womble painstakingly heals up the unconscious Nevil...and then guns him down before he can even say a single full word.
-->'''Womble:''' Fucking willy.
* Non-game related, but Cyanide makes the mistake of complaining about his girlfriend Maja, and specifically how she's been acting while [[MenstrualMenace on her period]], not knowing that she is watching the stream. She spends the next minute giving him a piece of her mind, culminating in the following exchange:
-->'''Maja:''' You're a cunt.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I- what?\\
'''Maja:''' You're a cunt.\\
'''Cyanide:''' I love you.\\
'''Maja:''' No.\\
'''Cyanide:''' No? okay. I... I... I will be whatever you want me to be.\\
'''Maja:''' I want to be single.\\
''(later)''\\
'''Maja:''' You're allowed to tell all of the stories about me if you want to, but don't take them out of context cause then [[SuddenlyShouting I'LL FUCKING]] KILL YOU!]] ''([[EvilLaugh laughs]])''\\
'''Womble:''' ''Okay'', Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend has been replaced with Cyanide's [[{{Yandere}} Psycho Girlfriend]].
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 4/5]]
* Womble and his squad call in an airstrike on a factory, despite Womble putting up concerns that there may be children in there. The factory goes up in flames, getting a lot of impressed remarks from the clan - and then:
--> '''Random ZF:''' [[InterplayOfSexAndViolence Is it bad to be erect?]]
** And then they spot Edberg in the nearby ocean driving a jetski...[[UnfriendlyFire and proceed to shoot at him.]] He manages to survive the entire experience, even when the squad fires ''every RPG they have.''
** Edberg then finds he has a sniper rifle and decides to get even.
* Apparently, Womble owes Nevil $300.
* The resistance base gets a bit too...loud again, and, like in the first episode, the local government sends air support to take it out. This time around, the resistance is prepared, and quickly down the chopper with anti-air fire....the bad news is, the now-crashing helicopter ''plunges straight into the Resistance HQ.''
* At one point, Womble has to go to the toilet and leaves in the middle of something important. Edberg ''knocks'' on him to get him back.
* [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Womble counting his dog's nipples]]
* Digby shooting a random civilian.
-->'''Digby''': [[InsaneTrollLogic He was killed by an American-caliber weapon, therefore he was killed by the Americans as far as I'm concerned.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder: Antistasi Part 5/5]]
* Their encounter with a tank that they are absolutely unprepared for. It culminates in a less-than brilliant idea: ZF clan members will compete to kill the tank by ramming it with their cars in order to win 20 pounds from Edberg. Two of them immediately run for the cars with a cry of "I'M A STUDENT, I NEED MONEY!"
-->'''Edberg:''' [[ShootTheShaggyDog Is it too late to say that I crossed my fingers?]]
* Womble trying to use a claymore mine to take out a fence so he can go past, doing nothing to the fence but maiming mrbatty, who failed to stand sufficiently clear...before it's pointed out to him that there's a gap in the fence ten, maybe fifteen feet to his right.
* An enemy [[DeathFromAbove A-10]] appears overhead, and Katla takes notice of it
--> '''Katla''': Hello!
--> '''Soviet''': Don't say HELLO at the A-10!
* Dinklebean's attempt to fly.
-->'''Soviet:''' Go for it, Dinkle, you can do it! We believe in you!\\
'''Dinklebean:''' I'm sure I can do it, thank you for believing in me!\\
'''Soviet:''' You can do it, we believe in you!\\
'''Dinklebean:''' Why isn't it speeding up?\\
'''Soviet:''' Yeah, he's gonna die.
* Soviet's character passes out from blood loss and [[WithFriendsLikeThese Dinklebean and mrbatty have a very civil conversation while waiting to see if he recovers by himself]].
-->'''Soviet:''' [[IfYouDieICallYourStuff They're fucking looting my shit while I'm unconscious.]]\\
'''Dinklebean:''' Oh hey! Snickers!
* [[CaptainCrash Moogle]] repeatedly failing to land a fighter jet.
* The extended sequence of AI civilians [[DrivesLikeCrazy driving like crazy]] and otherwise being TooDumbToLive, culminating in a bit where Soviet claims 1300 civilians have died, [[BlatantLies mostly in American reprisal attacks]]...and a civilian just runs in front of his car for no reason.
-->'''Soviet:''' [{{Beat}}] ''[[VerbalBackspace 1301]]'' civilians have died-
* Then an AI resistance driver swerves specifically to run over a civilian.
-->'''Soviet:''' The AI is learning from ZF, everyone!
* Womble utterly failing to remember the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Eventually it mutates into "you're better than the bush, because fuck vegetation".
* Cyanide gets shot down and lands pretty far out to sea.
-->'''Cyanide:''' (singing) [[WesternAnimation/FindingDory Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...]] (gasp) [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny A turtle!]]
* When Cyanide eventually reaches shore, it turns out that he was literally flying by the seat of his pants...as in he was only wearing his underclothes.
-->'''Cyanide:''' We don't have a dress code in the insurgency.
* "Someone kill the engine on the truck-" [gunshots] "[[ExactWords NO NOT LIKE THAT]]"
* Chinny attempts to fire a portable surface-to-air missile...while standing directly underneath a ceiling. A missile that fires ''directly upwards''. Even ''Cyanide'' thinks this is TooDumbToLive.
* While relocating their HQ, they accidentally leave their commander somewhere and have to go and look for him. It's eventually concluded that he's disappeared into a bug caused by a mod, and the attempt to debug this goes...weirdly, with Soviet being teleported from behind the wheel of a truck to ''out in the ocean'', while Cyanide, who is in the passenger seat, is untouched. Eventually it turns out that this issue actually crashed the host client.
-->'''Cyanide:''' Oh, this better not be the start to some kind of horror movie.
** Even better is that before they got teleported they believed that the commander decided to say "ScrewThisImOuttaHere" and ran off with all their cash while in the midst of the firefight.
* The conclusion is a montage where the wonders of ManipulativeEditing imply that the whole occupation and insurgency were just figments of everyone's imagination caused by heatstroke. [[VitriolicBestBuds And so was Cyanide.]] The video ends with Womble realizing he is late for work and catching a cab into town. While at "work" he hums the [[CallBack Badgers' Anthem]] from Part 1 and chuckles to himself.
[[/folder]]
