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Changed line(s) 128 (click to see context) from:
**
to:
** When the Romulan ship actually leaves Federation space:
--->'''Picard''': Son of a--I have no idea what to do now, that's never worked before.
** This review's annoying character went to Data's wig, a.k.a Tribble, a.k.a the mushroom cap of horror.
--->'''Picard''': Son of a--I have no idea what to do now, that's never worked before.
** This review's annoying character went to Data's wig, a.k.a Tribble, a.k.a the mushroom cap of horror.
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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
'''Picard:''' [[ShutUpHannibal You shut the hell up!]]
to:
'''Picard:''' [[ShutUpHannibal You shut the hell up!]]up!]]
** Before and when Picard gets shot with an arrow:
--->'''Picard''': I would gladly die, Liko, if that's what it ta--(angrish) motherbusfuckingahhhhhhh, getitout, getitout, getitout, getitout, getitout!
** Before and when Picard gets shot with an arrow:
--->'''Picard''': I would gladly die, Liko, if that's what it ta--(angrish) motherbusfuckingahhhhhhh, getitout, getitout, getitout, getitout, getitout!
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* From "Samaritan Snare":
** Chuck's tempting fate comment that Picard's artificial heart will never give him any more problems.
** Chuck's tempting fate comment that Picard's artificial heart will never give him any more problems.
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* From "Q Who":
** Chuck describing Q's and Guinan's poses as "rubbing the head of an invisible boy" and "grabbing a pair of invisible tits" respectively.
** Chuck describing Q's and Guinan's poses as "rubbing the head of an invisible boy" and "grabbing a pair of invisible tits" respectively.
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* From "Pen Pals":
** When Riker asks Wesley what would Picard do:
--->'''Wesley''': You mean, the captain is God?\\
'''Riker''': Yes, yes, our Father who's Picard in Heaven!
** When Riker asks Wesley what would Picard do:
--->'''Wesley''': You mean, the captain is God?\\
'''Riker''': Yes, yes, our Father who's Picard in Heaven!
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* From "The Royale":
** Chuck making fun of how Worf, Data, and Riker are unfamiliar with the concept of room service by compiling clips from the other Star Trek series with characters familiar with this concept and ending the compilation with Data and Riker confused and with the caption "The finest minds in Starfleet."
** Chuck making fun of how Worf, Data, and Riker are unfamiliar with the concept of room service by compiling clips from the other Star Trek series with characters familiar with this concept and ending the compilation with Data and Riker confused and with the caption "The finest minds in Starfleet."
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Added DiffLines:
* From "The Measure of a Man":
** "South Korea will show their technological skill by building a robot city by 2013, and North Korea will show their skill by then blowing it up."
** "South Korea will show their technological skill by building a robot city by 2013, and North Korea will show their skill by then blowing it up."
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** "You can see Picard's joy in his expression. If you look deep enough. Really deep, past the loathing there."
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
** The review begins with Chuck agreeing with Picard that we shouldn't be obsessed with the accumulation of material possessions, only to urge the viewers to buy DVDs of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, with [[SarcasmMode groundbreaking episodes]] such as "The Naked Now", "Justice", and "Code of Honor".
to:
** The review begins with Chuck agreeing with Picard that we shouldn't be obsessed with the accumulation of material possessions, only to urge the viewers to buy DVDs [=DVDs=] of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, with [[SarcasmMode groundbreaking episodes]] such as "The Naked Now", "Justice", and "Code of Honor".Honor".
* From "The Child":
** Chuck explaining that what he meant by Gene keeping Frakes' beard was that Gene kept the beard in the show, not that he took it away from Frakes.
* From "The Child":
** Chuck explaining that what he meant by Gene keeping Frakes' beard was that Gene kept the beard in the show, not that he took it away from Frakes.
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Added DiffLines:
* From "The Neutral Zone":
** The review begins with Chuck agreeing with Picard that we shouldn't be obsessed with the accumulation of material possessions, only to urge the viewers to buy DVDs of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, with [[SarcasmMode groundbreaking episodes]] such as "The Naked Now", "Justice", and "Code of Honor".
** The review begins with Chuck agreeing with Picard that we shouldn't be obsessed with the accumulation of material possessions, only to urge the viewers to buy DVDs of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, with [[SarcasmMode groundbreaking episodes]] such as "The Naked Now", "Justice", and "Code of Honor".
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* From "Conspiracy":
** "Now that we're all in the lab, we're gonna drop this tractor on you in front of your grandmother, for science."
** "Now that we're all in the lab, we're gonna drop this tractor on you in front of your grandmother, for science."
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Changed line(s) 28,29 (click to see context) from:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. [[AC:With the might. To expand. Across. The Un-i-verse. [[Series/DoctorWho Exterminate! Exterminate! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]]\\
''(calmer)'' Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
''(calmer)'' Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
to:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. [[AC:With the might. To expand. Across. The Un-i-verse. [[Series/DoctorWho Exterminate! Exterminate! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]]\\
EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]] ''(calmer)'' Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
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Changed line(s) 28,29 (click to see context) from:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. [[AC:To expand. Across. The Un-i-verse. [[Series/DoctorWho Exterminate! Exterminate! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]]\\
'''Chuck''' (Calmer): Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
'''Chuck''' (Calmer): Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
to:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. [[AC:To [[AC:With the might. To expand. Across. The Un-i-verse. [[Series/DoctorWho Exterminate! Exterminate! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]]\\
'''Chuck''' (Calmer): ''(calmer)'' Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
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Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. TO EXPAND. ACROSS. THE UN-I-VERSE. [[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]\\
to:
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. TO EXPAND. ACROSS. THE UN-I-VERSE. [[AC:To expand. Across. The Un-i-verse. [[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]\\Exterminate! Exterminate! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]]]\\
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* From "The Arsenal of Freedom":
** Chuck musing that Picard didn't have an easy job keeping the audience awake during Season One.
** Chuck musing that Picard didn't have an easy job keeping the audience awake during Season One.
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Deleted line(s) 183 (click to see context) :
** After Wesley lies during the inquiry
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Changed line(s) 215 (click to see context) from:
'''Janeway!Picard''': Sounds almost as serious as last year's banquet. I'll be in Ten Forward, feel free to leave me alone.
to:
'''Janeway!Picard''': Sounds almost as serious as last year's banquet. I'll be in Ten Forward, feel free to leave me alone.alone.
* "Parallels":
** It has some good moments, like Chuck describing saying Worf's bat'leth competition trophy can be used as a weapon, and trying to figure out how to describe a group of Worfs before settling on calling it a "brood".
** His discussion of his twin boys was his funniest joke so far.
** As Data gives Worf his birthday present, which is obviously a painting, Chuck says "Oh, I bet that's a basketball!"
** Chuck's commentary on Worf learning he's married to Troi in an alternate reality:
--->'''Chuck:''' Give the man a pointy stick and a bad guy, and it doesn't matter where he is, Worf knows what to do. This? you might as well be asking him to write your horoscope.
** Worf's goodbye to Troi before returning to his reality:
--->'''Worf:''' [[Film/{{Casablanca}} It doesn't take much to see the problems of a strapping Klingon and a Human/Betazoid mongrel don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy galaxy. But if that shuttle gets off the ground and I'm not on it, I'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but when I meet your mother, my God will I regret it.]]
* ''Sub Rosa'''s review starting with, instead of "99 Luftballoons", the ''Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}}'' theme.
** Chuck calling Ronin 'Casper the Rapey Ghost'.
* The entire riff on Picard holding a phallic object in front of his crotch in "Masks", suspecting that Stewart and Frakes knew exactly what it looked like and did it deliberately.
** He even happily points out the exact moment that Frakes realizes what Stewart is doing, where you can see the former double-take and come within a hair of corpsing as the connection is made.
** The rant on how incomprehensible the episode is:
--->'''Chuck''': It's like one of those snooty films that's just two men in a restaurant booth arguing in French for six hours, while every twelve minutes a bicycle with no rider rolls past the window... with the addition of the Star Trek cast talking about it all the while.
* When describing the USS Pasteur in the reviews of "All Good Things..."
-->'''Chuck''': ... And there's where we see the ship belonging to Beverly Crusher. A little different, big round head there angled off of the long main shaft that's easy to grip for optimal placement. The Clitmaster 5000 has set the bench-mark of quality in the... Shit, I've got the wrong script here...
** The reason why Troi is dead in the future? Worf never should have lent her his car keys.
** Chuck has ''way'' too much fun naming the midgets.
** The end of part 1: Picard orders an Earl Grey, but the computer responds that it doesn't have that on record; cue BigNo and EPIC CLIFFHANGER MUSIC!
* "Parallels":
** It has some good moments, like Chuck describing saying Worf's bat'leth competition trophy can be used as a weapon, and trying to figure out how to describe a group of Worfs before settling on calling it a "brood".
** His discussion of his twin boys was his funniest joke so far.
** As Data gives Worf his birthday present, which is obviously a painting, Chuck says "Oh, I bet that's a basketball!"
** Chuck's commentary on Worf learning he's married to Troi in an alternate reality:
--->'''Chuck:''' Give the man a pointy stick and a bad guy, and it doesn't matter where he is, Worf knows what to do. This? you might as well be asking him to write your horoscope.
** Worf's goodbye to Troi before returning to his reality:
--->'''Worf:''' [[Film/{{Casablanca}} It doesn't take much to see the problems of a strapping Klingon and a Human/Betazoid mongrel don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy galaxy. But if that shuttle gets off the ground and I'm not on it, I'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but when I meet your mother, my God will I regret it.]]
* ''Sub Rosa'''s review starting with, instead of "99 Luftballoons", the ''Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}}'' theme.
** Chuck calling Ronin 'Casper the Rapey Ghost'.
* The entire riff on Picard holding a phallic object in front of his crotch in "Masks", suspecting that Stewart and Frakes knew exactly what it looked like and did it deliberately.
** He even happily points out the exact moment that Frakes realizes what Stewart is doing, where you can see the former double-take and come within a hair of corpsing as the connection is made.
** The rant on how incomprehensible the episode is:
--->'''Chuck''': It's like one of those snooty films that's just two men in a restaurant booth arguing in French for six hours, while every twelve minutes a bicycle with no rider rolls past the window... with the addition of the Star Trek cast talking about it all the while.
* When describing the USS Pasteur in the reviews of "All Good Things..."
-->'''Chuck''': ... And there's where we see the ship belonging to Beverly Crusher. A little different, big round head there angled off of the long main shaft that's easy to grip for optimal placement. The Clitmaster 5000 has set the bench-mark of quality in the... Shit, I've got the wrong script here...
** The reason why Troi is dead in the future? Worf never should have lent her his car keys.
** Chuck has ''way'' too much fun naming the midgets.
** The end of part 1: Picard orders an Earl Grey, but the computer responds that it doesn't have that on record; cue BigNo and EPIC CLIFFHANGER MUSIC!
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Changed line(s) 194 (click to see context) from:
-->'''O'Brien:''' I'm so taking that transfer to [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine that space station]]...
to:
-->'''O'Brien:''' I'm so taking that transfer to [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine that space station]]...station]]...
* Chuck does not approve of "Rascals":
** "To err is human. ''This'' is getting the runs while wearing white pants."
** After watching younger Keiko discuss her issues with O'Brien, Chuck wonders if he's cursed to keep wandering into [[Anime/RebuildOfEvangelion underaged Japanese girls in uncomfortable situations]].
** Kid!Guinan and Kid!Ro jumping on a bed like a trampoline: *sigh* "And I just got ''Buxom Girls on Trampolines Vol. 3''. Now I'm not gonna be able to watch it without thinking of this."
* The "Chain of Command" reviews:
** The review has Chuck's description of Ronnie Cox's career:
--->'''Chuck''': Anyway, Jellico finally arrives. He's played by Ronnie Cox. You might remember him from ''Film/BeverlyHillsCop'', ''[[Film/RoboCop1987 RoboCop]]'', ''Series/CopRock'', ''Film/BeverlyHillsCopII'' and his most famous work: ''Cop Cop Part Cop: Still Copping''.
** Picard's shaking off the Cardassians escorting him out of the interrogation room becomes a drunk Patrick Stewart yelling at cops.
** Chuck states that Madred is interrogating Picard while under the influence of drugs- [[AmbiguousSyntax and then has to clarify that]] ''[[AmbiguousSyntax Picard]]'' [[AmbiguousSyntax is under the influence, not Madred]]. Chuck then goes on to say (and provide a brief skit of) [[StonersAreFunny how much more hilarious the episode would be if it was the other way around, playing a Stoned Madred]].
* From "Starship Mine":
--->'''Chuck!Picard''': Yes, finally, a girl! Someone I could probably take in a fight. After that embarrassment with Soran, I need an--ah, Jesus! Where the hell is my saddle when I need it? Dah, not in the face!
* "The Chase" has Galen giving Picard a priceless artifact. Cut to ''Film/StarTrekGenerations'', where Picard tosses it aside to save a photo album.
* From "Phantasms":
** He explains that the plot would make more sense if Picard ran his ship the way Janeway ran hers, and deliberately sabotaged the warp core to avoid having to go to the admirals' meeting, then sabotaged Data so he couldn't fix it.
--->'''Janeway!Picard''': ''(dumps a bag of sugar into the warp core)'' Woops, looks like we won't make it to that banquet after all!\\
'''Data''': Not to worry sir, Geordi and I can fix--\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': ''(dumps a bag of sugar into Data's head)''\\
'''Data''': *Bzzt* *Bzzt* *Bzzt* Must-stab-counselor-Troi...\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': Oh dear, looks like there's no time to fix that engine, Mr. La Forge, you have to tend to our android.\\
'''Data''': Crush...Kill...Destroy...\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': Sounds almost as serious as last year's banquet. I'll be in Ten Forward, feel free to leave me alone.
* Chuck does not approve of "Rascals":
** "To err is human. ''This'' is getting the runs while wearing white pants."
** After watching younger Keiko discuss her issues with O'Brien, Chuck wonders if he's cursed to keep wandering into [[Anime/RebuildOfEvangelion underaged Japanese girls in uncomfortable situations]].
** Kid!Guinan and Kid!Ro jumping on a bed like a trampoline: *sigh* "And I just got ''Buxom Girls on Trampolines Vol. 3''. Now I'm not gonna be able to watch it without thinking of this."
* The "Chain of Command" reviews:
** The review has Chuck's description of Ronnie Cox's career:
--->'''Chuck''': Anyway, Jellico finally arrives. He's played by Ronnie Cox. You might remember him from ''Film/BeverlyHillsCop'', ''[[Film/RoboCop1987 RoboCop]]'', ''Series/CopRock'', ''Film/BeverlyHillsCopII'' and his most famous work: ''Cop Cop Part Cop: Still Copping''.
** Picard's shaking off the Cardassians escorting him out of the interrogation room becomes a drunk Patrick Stewart yelling at cops.
** Chuck states that Madred is interrogating Picard while under the influence of drugs- [[AmbiguousSyntax and then has to clarify that]] ''[[AmbiguousSyntax Picard]]'' [[AmbiguousSyntax is under the influence, not Madred]]. Chuck then goes on to say (and provide a brief skit of) [[StonersAreFunny how much more hilarious the episode would be if it was the other way around, playing a Stoned Madred]].
* From "Starship Mine":
--->'''Chuck!Picard''': Yes, finally, a girl! Someone I could probably take in a fight. After that embarrassment with Soran, I need an--ah, Jesus! Where the hell is my saddle when I need it? Dah, not in the face!
* "The Chase" has Galen giving Picard a priceless artifact. Cut to ''Film/StarTrekGenerations'', where Picard tosses it aside to save a photo album.
* From "Phantasms":
** He explains that the plot would make more sense if Picard ran his ship the way Janeway ran hers, and deliberately sabotaged the warp core to avoid having to go to the admirals' meeting, then sabotaged Data so he couldn't fix it.
--->'''Janeway!Picard''': ''(dumps a bag of sugar into the warp core)'' Woops, looks like we won't make it to that banquet after all!\\
'''Data''': Not to worry sir, Geordi and I can fix--\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': ''(dumps a bag of sugar into Data's head)''\\
'''Data''': *Bzzt* *Bzzt* *Bzzt* Must-stab-counselor-Troi...\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': Oh dear, looks like there's no time to fix that engine, Mr. La Forge, you have to tend to our android.\\
'''Data''': Crush...Kill...Destroy...\\
'''Janeway!Picard''': Sounds almost as serious as last year's banquet. I'll be in Ten Forward, feel free to leave me alone.
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Changed line(s) 167 (click to see context) from:
** His use of X-Box Live speak when illustrating how to call the Enterprise crew cheaters.
to:
** His use of X-Box Live speak when illustrating how to call the Enterprise crew cheaters.cheaters.
* From "Ethics"
** The RunningGag of making TheWorfEffect jokes.
** Worf's "request" for Riker.
--->'''Worf''': I have to pee, would you aim it for me?\\
'''Riker''': Nice visiting you, Worf! We'll have to do this again real soon!
* The NoodleImplements involved in non-gendered sex in "The Outcast".
* In the "Cause and Effect" review, Worf is such a horrible poker player that he's hocked Alexander for gambling money.
* From the TNG episode "The First Duty"
** After Picard delivers his speech to Wesley.
--->'''Wesley''': So you care about my "duty"?\\
'''Picard''': Save the toilet humor for Riker.\\
'''Wesley''': Don't you mean number one?\\
'''Picard''': Damn it, this is serious! You're in-\\
'''Wesley''': Deep "duty"?\\
'''Picard''': Get the hell out!
** After Wesley lies during the inquiry
** His whole take on the exceedingly grumpy Vulcan at the academy as being both a distant relation of Robert Picard and also being Satan himself.
* "Time's Arrow": Chuck compares use of the time travel trope to a stage magician botching his disappearing act and convincing the audience to turn around while he invokes Yog-Sothoth.
** His idea for a more accurate episode title: "Samuel Clemens, Bloody Nuisance."
* "Realm of Fear":
** Waking up the captains. Kirk dreaming about ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''. Sisko is wondering whether he is Jesus or Buddha. And Janeway is doing something that involves electricity and a loud thud.
--->'''Janeway''': And stay down!
** Barclay is trying to relax in his quarters with dimmed lighting, candles and taped sound effects of whalesong, birdsong and the like...
-->'''Barclay:''' Computer, more birds.\\
'''Music/TheByrds:''' ''To every thing, turn, turn, turn...''
** O'Brien's reaction upon being told by Barclay to wake the senior staff.
-->'''O'Brien:''' I'm so taking that transfer to [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine that space station]]...
* From "Ethics"
** The RunningGag of making TheWorfEffect jokes.
** Worf's "request" for Riker.
--->'''Worf''': I have to pee, would you aim it for me?\\
'''Riker''': Nice visiting you, Worf! We'll have to do this again real soon!
* The NoodleImplements involved in non-gendered sex in "The Outcast".
* In the "Cause and Effect" review, Worf is such a horrible poker player that he's hocked Alexander for gambling money.
* From the TNG episode "The First Duty"
** After Picard delivers his speech to Wesley.
--->'''Wesley''': So you care about my "duty"?\\
'''Picard''': Save the toilet humor for Riker.\\
'''Wesley''': Don't you mean number one?\\
'''Picard''': Damn it, this is serious! You're in-\\
'''Wesley''': Deep "duty"?\\
'''Picard''': Get the hell out!
** After Wesley lies during the inquiry
** His whole take on the exceedingly grumpy Vulcan at the academy as being both a distant relation of Robert Picard and also being Satan himself.
* "Time's Arrow": Chuck compares use of the time travel trope to a stage magician botching his disappearing act and convincing the audience to turn around while he invokes Yog-Sothoth.
** His idea for a more accurate episode title: "Samuel Clemens, Bloody Nuisance."
* "Realm of Fear":
** Waking up the captains. Kirk dreaming about ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''. Sisko is wondering whether he is Jesus or Buddha. And Janeway is doing something that involves electricity and a loud thud.
--->'''Janeway''': And stay down!
** Barclay is trying to relax in his quarters with dimmed lighting, candles and taped sound effects of whalesong, birdsong and the like...
-->'''Barclay:''' Computer, more birds.\\
'''Music/TheByrds:''' ''To every thing, turn, turn, turn...''
** O'Brien's reaction upon being told by Barclay to wake the senior staff.
-->'''O'Brien:''' I'm so taking that transfer to [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine that space station]]...
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Changed line(s) 149 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck''' ''(In a whiny kid voice)'' I'd have been here sooner, but the chain fell off my bicycle!
to:
--->'''Chuck''' ''(In a whiny kid voice)'' I'd have been here sooner, but the chain fell off my bicycle!bicycle!
* "Darmok":
** The RunningGag of Worf giving a ReasonYouSuckSpeech to Picard and Riker, and explaining TheWorfEffect as being a result of them never letting him fight until they've already exhausted every other option, by which time the enemy is always prepared and kicks his ass.
** From the same review: "I'll check [Picard's] academy records. His language course was 203. Let me cross-check that. Hmm. Oh yes! He's fluent in '''yelling at people'''. This is the time honoured method of speaking your own language LOUDLY and some-what slow-ly to people who don't speak it, in the hopes that they will suddenly understand you. ({{beat}}) The others just laugh at him.
** Reprimanding Captain Picard for bad language.
--->'''Alien captain''': Shaka, when the walls fell.\\
'''Picard''': Shaka indeed.\\
'''Chuck''': Language, Picard!
* "Ensign Ro": Ro is ordered by Riker to not wear her Bajoran earring, and later, during the briefing, she snidely mentions how [[CustomUniformOfSexy Troi is allowed to wear her cleavage-laden uniform]] and Worf is allowed to wear his metallic sash. [[DeadpanSnarker "Hey, nice bandolier, Chewbacca. I bet that's standard issue..."]]
* From "Disaster":
** As O'Brien and Ensign Ro are explaining about how the warp core is going to go boom, all Troi can hear is: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah."
* "The Game":
** When Riker looks uninterested in a supposedly passionate intimate scene, Chuck wonders if it's because "[[DoubleEntendre Number One has difficulty reporting to the bridge]]."
** The scene with Wesley being forced to play the titular game, Chuck plays [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} GLaDOS]]'s TheReasonYouSuckSpeech at Wesley.
*** Best of all? In the clips played to this speech, the companion cube is represented by Data.
** His horror at the repetitions about Riker bringing something back from Risa, as well as pointing out that, without context, it makes it sound like Riker regularly contracts an STD whenever he goes on shore leave.
* In "A Matter of Time," originally posted Nov. 23, 2013, Chuck talks about how the episode has Matt Frewer, star of a short-lived sitcom called ''Doctor, Doctor'', as a supposed time traveler in a tiny craft who shows up just as a historical crisis is about to go down. He keeps getting the feeling there's ''something'' [[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor he should be remembering...]]
** For added laughs, ''Doctor, Doctor'' produced the theme song Chuck used on the early Doctor Who reviews.
** His use of X-Box Live speak when illustrating how to call the Enterprise crew cheaters.
* "Darmok":
** The RunningGag of Worf giving a ReasonYouSuckSpeech to Picard and Riker, and explaining TheWorfEffect as being a result of them never letting him fight until they've already exhausted every other option, by which time the enemy is always prepared and kicks his ass.
** From the same review: "I'll check [Picard's] academy records. His language course was 203. Let me cross-check that. Hmm. Oh yes! He's fluent in '''yelling at people'''. This is the time honoured method of speaking your own language LOUDLY and some-what slow-ly to people who don't speak it, in the hopes that they will suddenly understand you. ({{beat}}) The others just laugh at him.
** Reprimanding Captain Picard for bad language.
--->'''Alien captain''': Shaka, when the walls fell.\\
'''Picard''': Shaka indeed.\\
'''Chuck''': Language, Picard!
* "Ensign Ro": Ro is ordered by Riker to not wear her Bajoran earring, and later, during the briefing, she snidely mentions how [[CustomUniformOfSexy Troi is allowed to wear her cleavage-laden uniform]] and Worf is allowed to wear his metallic sash. [[DeadpanSnarker "Hey, nice bandolier, Chewbacca. I bet that's standard issue..."]]
* From "Disaster":
** As O'Brien and Ensign Ro are explaining about how the warp core is going to go boom, all Troi can hear is: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah."
* "The Game":
** When Riker looks uninterested in a supposedly passionate intimate scene, Chuck wonders if it's because "[[DoubleEntendre Number One has difficulty reporting to the bridge]]."
** The scene with Wesley being forced to play the titular game, Chuck plays [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} GLaDOS]]'s TheReasonYouSuckSpeech at Wesley.
*** Best of all? In the clips played to this speech, the companion cube is represented by Data.
** His horror at the repetitions about Riker bringing something back from Risa, as well as pointing out that, without context, it makes it sound like Riker regularly contracts an STD whenever he goes on shore leave.
* In "A Matter of Time," originally posted Nov. 23, 2013, Chuck talks about how the episode has Matt Frewer, star of a short-lived sitcom called ''Doctor, Doctor'', as a supposed time traveler in a tiny craft who shows up just as a historical crisis is about to go down. He keeps getting the feeling there's ''something'' [[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor he should be remembering...]]
** For added laughs, ''Doctor, Doctor'' produced the theme song Chuck used on the early Doctor Who reviews.
** His use of X-Box Live speak when illustrating how to call the Enterprise crew cheaters.
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Changed line(s) 136 (click to see context) from:
** Then there's the theme for ''WesternAnimation/BluesClues'' playing when Picard figures out the mystery, with an accompanying clip of Picard dancing.
to:
** Then there's the theme for ''WesternAnimation/BluesClues'' playing when Picard figures out the mystery, with an accompanying clip of Picard dancing.dancing.
* "First Contact": Picard confirming Archer's {{Unperson}} status: "His name tastes heinous!"
** When discussing the scene where Riker is forced to have sex with an alien in order to escape, Chuck notes that the idea that some people would be sexual attracted to aliens isn't ''[[TheXenophile that]]'' unusual... like those who wonder what [[Franchise/MassEffect Tali]] looks like [[TheFaceless under her suit]], while a bikini-clad pin-up appears on the screen? Cue Chuck realising he's perhaps [[DidISayThatOutLoud revealed too much]] and quickly back-peddling to the episode at hand!
* From "The Nth Degree", Geordi and Barclay's back-and-forth, especially how the last digit of Pi is "chunky".
** Also from "The Nth Degree", Chucks conversation with John.
** Mentioning that Barclay become smarter mirrors the plot of a certain [[{{Literature/FlowersForAlgernon}} science fiction]] work... [[BaitAndSwitchComment a Japanese TV show]]:
-->'''Chuck''': "As seen on the Series/{{Spectreman}} two-parter, "Billy Don't Be A Monster" and "Genius Monster Norman", [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I swear I'm not making this up]]."
** When Troi asks Barclay "How are we to trust an officer who doesn't follow orders?", Chuck shows the clip from [[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Star Trek IV]] of Kirk getting demoted to captain [[{{Unishment}} and placed in command of a starship]].
** Chuck sums Worf's attitude up in one sentence with, "I think we should use the Apocalypse Bomb!"
* From the review of "Q-pid", Chuck muses on how the Enterprise is used for receptions, a Space Holiday Inn, if you will, culminating in the mental image of Worf chasing a shriner down the hallways.
** Also from "Q-pid", Q asks what Robin Hood is most famous for. After Q brush off "steals from the rich and gives to the poor", Chuck starts naming other famous deeds, each time cutting back to Q's "Besides that" response.
* "Redemption":
** Toral's dramatic entrance into the Klingon High Council gets undermined.
--->'''Chuck''' ''(In a whiny kid voice)'' I'd have been here sooner, but the chain fell off my bicycle!
* "First Contact": Picard confirming Archer's {{Unperson}} status: "His name tastes heinous!"
** When discussing the scene where Riker is forced to have sex with an alien in order to escape, Chuck notes that the idea that some people would be sexual attracted to aliens isn't ''[[TheXenophile that]]'' unusual... like those who wonder what [[Franchise/MassEffect Tali]] looks like [[TheFaceless under her suit]], while a bikini-clad pin-up appears on the screen? Cue Chuck realising he's perhaps [[DidISayThatOutLoud revealed too much]] and quickly back-peddling to the episode at hand!
* From "The Nth Degree", Geordi and Barclay's back-and-forth, especially how the last digit of Pi is "chunky".
** Also from "The Nth Degree", Chucks conversation with John.
** Mentioning that Barclay become smarter mirrors the plot of a certain [[{{Literature/FlowersForAlgernon}} science fiction]] work... [[BaitAndSwitchComment a Japanese TV show]]:
-->'''Chuck''': "As seen on the Series/{{Spectreman}} two-parter, "Billy Don't Be A Monster" and "Genius Monster Norman", [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I swear I'm not making this up]]."
** When Troi asks Barclay "How are we to trust an officer who doesn't follow orders?", Chuck shows the clip from [[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Star Trek IV]] of Kirk getting demoted to captain [[{{Unishment}} and placed in command of a starship]].
** Chuck sums Worf's attitude up in one sentence with, "I think we should use the Apocalypse Bomb!"
* From the review of "Q-pid", Chuck muses on how the Enterprise is used for receptions, a Space Holiday Inn, if you will, culminating in the mental image of Worf chasing a shriner down the hallways.
** Also from "Q-pid", Q asks what Robin Hood is most famous for. After Q brush off "steals from the rich and gives to the poor", Chuck starts naming other famous deeds, each time cutting back to Q's "Besides that" response.
* "Redemption":
** Toral's dramatic entrance into the Klingon High Council gets undermined.
--->'''Chuck''' ''(In a whiny kid voice)'' I'd have been here sooner, but the chain fell off my bicycle!
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Changed line(s) 121 (click to see context) from:
** Also his snipes against Wesley are even harsher this review, with him repeatedly characterizing Wesley as a comically creepy and pathetic whiner with an incestuous obsession with his mother.
to:
** Also his snipes against Wesley are even harsher this review, with him repeatedly characterizing Wesley as a comically creepy and pathetic whiner with an incestuous obsession with his mother.mother.
* From the description of the episode, "Ménage à Troi"
--> Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the return of Lwaxana Troi and the Ferengi to TNG, unfortunately. A Ferengi falls for Lwaxana and thus kidnaps her, her daughter, and Riker, thus the pun on the title Ménage à trois, which is French for "Megatron."
** The episode itself continues the RunningGag from "Haven", as Lwaxana is dubbed "daughter of the House of Usher" and then "daughter of the House of Blues".
* "The Best of Both Worlds":
** His comment that trying to ward off the Borg with the threat of their new technology is like trying to ward off a date rapist with the threat that you have crotchless panties. Then commenting that if you find that a tasteless metaphor, you'd be completely wrong, because it's a simile.
** The description for Part II of his "The Best of Both Worlds": "Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide presents part 2 of the classic. The Borg plan to overwhelm the entire Federation with just one ship and the abducted Picard, the cosmic equivalent of 'Why you hitting yourself, why you hitting yourself?'"
* "Family":
** ALL of Chuck's lines for Picard's brother Robert [[SarcasmMode "the Happiest man in Europe"]] Picard, regarding how hilariously dickish (''Where you going? I was getting my best curse words ready ya baldy skidmark!'') and miserable (''I had an orgasm once. I didn't care for it'') he acts with his "barely concealed rural rage", directly comparing him to both the Banjo kid from Deliverance and Jason Voorhees in terms of people skills. One quote that stands out is "I think Robert missed his true calling, running an orphanage in a Creator/CharlesDickens novel." The children-hating thing must run in the blood.
** His surprised reaction when Picard actually shows kindness to a child.
** From the video description "Plus, Wesley's backstory is fleshed out to the utter joy of his fan." Yes, there is a singular.
* Chuck explaining why the "Brothers" review was delayed. By throwing in clips of flooding from various film, from ''Superman'' to ''2012'' [[note]]His bathroom flooded forcing him to delay it.[[/note]] One must wonder if Chuck does montages as a form of stress release.
-->'''Chuck''': For those of you wondering why there was no show last week... there was an... ''incident''. *cue montage*
** When security's preparing to take the bridge back, Chuck mentions all the times in the past that Enterprise's security team has looked absolutely Looney Tunes, but says now's the time to prove their worth. "Now is the time you rise." Cue Data utterly trouncing them to Yakety Sax.
* In "Clues" there is a running gag of Data coming up with different far-fetched explanations for the discrepencies everyone notices, and Picard not believing any of them--all of the explanations being the plots from other Star Trek episodes or films.
** Then there's the theme for ''WesternAnimation/BluesClues'' playing when Picard figures out the mystery, with an accompanying clip of Picard dancing.
* From the description of the episode, "Ménage à Troi"
--> Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at the return of Lwaxana Troi and the Ferengi to TNG, unfortunately. A Ferengi falls for Lwaxana and thus kidnaps her, her daughter, and Riker, thus the pun on the title Ménage à trois, which is French for "Megatron."
** The episode itself continues the RunningGag from "Haven", as Lwaxana is dubbed "daughter of the House of Usher" and then "daughter of the House of Blues".
* "The Best of Both Worlds":
** His comment that trying to ward off the Borg with the threat of their new technology is like trying to ward off a date rapist with the threat that you have crotchless panties. Then commenting that if you find that a tasteless metaphor, you'd be completely wrong, because it's a simile.
** The description for Part II of his "The Best of Both Worlds": "Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide presents part 2 of the classic. The Borg plan to overwhelm the entire Federation with just one ship and the abducted Picard, the cosmic equivalent of 'Why you hitting yourself, why you hitting yourself?'"
* "Family":
** ALL of Chuck's lines for Picard's brother Robert [[SarcasmMode "the Happiest man in Europe"]] Picard, regarding how hilariously dickish (''Where you going? I was getting my best curse words ready ya baldy skidmark!'') and miserable (''I had an orgasm once. I didn't care for it'') he acts with his "barely concealed rural rage", directly comparing him to both the Banjo kid from Deliverance and Jason Voorhees in terms of people skills. One quote that stands out is "I think Robert missed his true calling, running an orphanage in a Creator/CharlesDickens novel." The children-hating thing must run in the blood.
** His surprised reaction when Picard actually shows kindness to a child.
** From the video description "Plus, Wesley's backstory is fleshed out to the utter joy of his fan." Yes, there is a singular.
* Chuck explaining why the "Brothers" review was delayed. By throwing in clips of flooding from various film, from ''Superman'' to ''2012'' [[note]]His bathroom flooded forcing him to delay it.[[/note]] One must wonder if Chuck does montages as a form of stress release.
-->'''Chuck''': For those of you wondering why there was no show last week... there was an... ''incident''. *cue montage*
** When security's preparing to take the bridge back, Chuck mentions all the times in the past that Enterprise's security team has looked absolutely Looney Tunes, but says now's the time to prove their worth. "Now is the time you rise." Cue Data utterly trouncing them to Yakety Sax.
* In "Clues" there is a running gag of Data coming up with different far-fetched explanations for the discrepencies everyone notices, and Picard not believing any of them--all of the explanations being the plots from other Star Trek episodes or films.
** Then there's the theme for ''WesternAnimation/BluesClues'' playing when Picard figures out the mystery, with an accompanying clip of Picard dancing.
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Changed line(s) 101 (click to see context) from:
** As Geordi is getting exasperated working with the holographic Leah Brahms, Chuck recommends Geordi stop saying [[HehHehYouSaidX "Booby"]] so much.
to:
** As Geordi is getting exasperated working with the holographic Leah Brahms, Chuck recommends Geordi stop saying [[HehHehYouSaidX "Booby"]] so much.much.
* From "The Enemy":
-->'''Chuck''': It's more convincing the way Picard says it; you know how Picard phrases these things.\\
'''Picard''': I shall now put on my unicorn costume. And as the unicorn I am forever spraying rainbows out of my tail. Rainbows that will light the way to the future of us all. So you must decide: will you be the virgin and slay the unicorn, or ride the rainbow with me into a new era, Tomolak?
* The description for the "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS3E15YesterdaysEnterprise Yesterday's Enterprise]]" review.
-->'''Chuck:''' Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at what happens when the writers get together and say "@#$# you Gene, this is how you kill Tasha." The appearance of the Enterprise-C alters reality so that Tasha exists, the downside beings that the Klingons are about to enslave us. It's give and take.
* From "Captain's Holiday":
** The beginning of the review:
-->'''Little boy''': Mommy, look what I found. (''fires phaser'')
-->'''His mother''': Oh my god! Oh, the horror! (''police sirens go off'')
-->'''Police officer''': Everyone please stand back.
** When a floating ball approaches Picard.
-->'''Chuck!Picard''': Kenobi! Goddamnit, Kenobi, I told you to fuck off an hour ago! God, I hate this place! I hope it stars raining and you're all as miserable as I am!
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Picard and his little friend Talking Latin Penis!"]]
* Throughout "The Most Toys", frequently riffing that Kivas Fajo is lucky he'd abducted Data instead of [[EvilTwin Lore]].
* From Sarek review, after Sarek has Mind Melded with Picard.
-->'''Chuck''' Meanwhile a bad situation is made worse when Picard gets a look at the ''[[Film/StarTrek Star Trek XI]]'' script.\\
'''Picard''' NOOOOOO! It is, it is, wrong, it is WRONG!\\
'''Chuck''' And then he thinks he's a Bulldog...\\
'''Picard''' Rogh, ROGH, ROGH!
** Also his snipes against Wesley are even harsher this review, with him repeatedly characterizing Wesley as a comically creepy and pathetic whiner with an incestuous obsession with his mother.
* From "The Enemy":
-->'''Chuck''': It's more convincing the way Picard says it; you know how Picard phrases these things.\\
'''Picard''': I shall now put on my unicorn costume. And as the unicorn I am forever spraying rainbows out of my tail. Rainbows that will light the way to the future of us all. So you must decide: will you be the virgin and slay the unicorn, or ride the rainbow with me into a new era, Tomolak?
* The description for the "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS3E15YesterdaysEnterprise Yesterday's Enterprise]]" review.
-->'''Chuck:''' Opinionated Next Gen Episode Guide looks at what happens when the writers get together and say "@#$# you Gene, this is how you kill Tasha." The appearance of the Enterprise-C alters reality so that Tasha exists, the downside beings that the Klingons are about to enslave us. It's give and take.
* From "Captain's Holiday":
** The beginning of the review:
-->'''Little boy''': Mommy, look what I found. (''fires phaser'')
-->'''His mother''': Oh my god! Oh, the horror! (''police sirens go off'')
-->'''Police officer''': Everyone please stand back.
** When a floating ball approaches Picard.
-->'''Chuck!Picard''': Kenobi! Goddamnit, Kenobi, I told you to fuck off an hour ago! God, I hate this place! I hope it stars raining and you're all as miserable as I am!
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Picard and his little friend Talking Latin Penis!"]]
* Throughout "The Most Toys", frequently riffing that Kivas Fajo is lucky he'd abducted Data instead of [[EvilTwin Lore]].
* From Sarek review, after Sarek has Mind Melded with Picard.
-->'''Chuck''' Meanwhile a bad situation is made worse when Picard gets a look at the ''[[Film/StarTrek Star Trek XI]]'' script.\\
'''Picard''' NOOOOOO! It is, it is, wrong, it is WRONG!\\
'''Chuck''' And then he thinks he's a Bulldog...\\
'''Picard''' Rogh, ROGH, ROGH!
** Also his snipes against Wesley are even harsher this review, with him repeatedly characterizing Wesley as a comically creepy and pathetic whiner with an incestuous obsession with his mother.
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Changed line(s) 85 (click to see context) from:
--->"Yay..."
to:
--->"Yay...""
* From "Who Watches The Watchers":
** Picard talks down a primitive woman who kneels before him, thinking he is a god.
--->'''Picard:''' I do not deserve it.\\
'''Janeway:''' I do!\\
'''Picard:''' [[ShutUpHannibal You shut the hell up!]]
* From "The Bonding" review:
** Picard struggling to deliver the news to a child that his mother is dead.
--->'''Picard:''' Um, sorry to interfere your routine. Uh, I mean that is, you... probably want to play with your [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} "Pokeymon" cards]] or watch ''Series/HowdyDoody'' or something, with the, with the other groovy kids in, uhm, "''the hood''"... Oh, this isn't working! Look, your mom's dead! She's in three different bags down in Sickbay if you want to take a look. I've got to go and find out why there was an archaeology mission and I was left in the dark, ''again''!
** Picard asks if the child would be truly happy with living in a blissful fiction. Cut to Christopher Pike beeping "Yes!" in response.
--->'''Picard:''' Quiet! No one asked you!
* "Booby Trap" finishes with Chuck telling us to check out his Twitter feed to stay up to date with the website issues, where we'll get a bunch of explanations for why videos are late, plus "Why is there a bird on my pillow watching me sleep?" And then the stinger: "[[{{VideoGame/Portal2}} Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!]]"
** There is a scene in "Booby Trap" where Riker talks about the trap that's draining the shields and exposing the crew to deadly radation. Chuck!Riker finishes with "The only solution is to give into despair and [[Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica transform into witches]]."
** Picard's constant irritation at everyone failing to understand the term "[[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Ship in]] [[SmallReferencePools a bottle]]", leading to this outburst;
--->'''Picard:''' Screw you all! [[ShapedLikeItself It's a ship! In a bottle!]] It takes something awesome and makes it ''[[UpToEleven more]]'' awesome! Like, like [[{{Transformers}} Devastator]]! But to replace the construction vehicles with ''lesbians!'' '''More! Awesome!'''
** The [[LiteralMetaphor Venn Diagram]] of Geordi's problems during the episode.
** As Geordi is getting exasperated working with the holographic Leah Brahms, Chuck recommends Geordi stop saying [[HehHehYouSaidX "Booby"]] so much.
* From "Who Watches The Watchers":
** Picard talks down a primitive woman who kneels before him, thinking he is a god.
--->'''Picard:''' I do not deserve it.\\
'''Janeway:''' I do!\\
'''Picard:''' [[ShutUpHannibal You shut the hell up!]]
* From "The Bonding" review:
** Picard struggling to deliver the news to a child that his mother is dead.
--->'''Picard:''' Um, sorry to interfere your routine. Uh, I mean that is, you... probably want to play with your [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} "Pokeymon" cards]] or watch ''Series/HowdyDoody'' or something, with the, with the other groovy kids in, uhm, "''the hood''"... Oh, this isn't working! Look, your mom's dead! She's in three different bags down in Sickbay if you want to take a look. I've got to go and find out why there was an archaeology mission and I was left in the dark, ''again''!
** Picard asks if the child would be truly happy with living in a blissful fiction. Cut to Christopher Pike beeping "Yes!" in response.
--->'''Picard:''' Quiet! No one asked you!
* "Booby Trap" finishes with Chuck telling us to check out his Twitter feed to stay up to date with the website issues, where we'll get a bunch of explanations for why videos are late, plus "Why is there a bird on my pillow watching me sleep?" And then the stinger: "[[{{VideoGame/Portal2}} Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!]]"
** There is a scene in "Booby Trap" where Riker talks about the trap that's draining the shields and exposing the crew to deadly radation. Chuck!Riker finishes with "The only solution is to give into despair and [[Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica transform into witches]]."
** Picard's constant irritation at everyone failing to understand the term "[[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Ship in]] [[SmallReferencePools a bottle]]", leading to this outburst;
--->'''Picard:''' Screw you all! [[ShapedLikeItself It's a ship! In a bottle!]] It takes something awesome and makes it ''[[UpToEleven more]]'' awesome! Like, like [[{{Transformers}} Devastator]]! But to replace the construction vehicles with ''lesbians!'' '''More! Awesome!'''
** The [[LiteralMetaphor Venn Diagram]] of Geordi's problems during the episode.
** As Geordi is getting exasperated working with the holographic Leah Brahms, Chuck recommends Geordi stop saying [[HehHehYouSaidX "Booby"]] so much.
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Changed line(s) 70 (click to see context) from:
** The entire discussion about the horrible failed joke Guinan tells... and the one from the original draft of the script, which made even less sense. “If there’s a joke in there, we need a team of archaeologists with those little brushes to go in there and look for it.”
to:
** The entire discussion about the horrible failed joke Guinan tells... and the one from the original draft of the script, which made even less sense. “If there’s a joke in there, we need a team of archaeologists with those little brushes to go in there and look for it.””
* In ''Loud as a Whisper'' he mentions how the episode was pitched as a way to help dispel myths about the deaf. Cut to Picard trying to communicate.
--> '''Chuck''': Alright, let me get this down. When meeting someone deaf, grab their head in both hands and scream at them.
* Taking his sarcasm {{Up To Eleven}} while talking about the way "Up the Long Ladder" plays up the danger of a solar flare...when there had been one just a month previously.
** His sympathy for Colm Meaney being stuck in the middle of a scene full of terrible Irish stereotypes: "[[MoneyDearBoy Paycheck]], [[SurvivalMantra paycheck, paycheck]]... urgggh, ''paycheck, paycheck..."''
** Likewise he decides to drive home the "terrible Irish stereotype" point by subbing out the usual theme song with something by [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_47 Black 47]].
* From "Peak Performance", one of Picard's options in a no-win situation involving an alien named Kolrami is to [[KonamiCode put in the Kolrami code to get an extra thirty lives]].
* When Data brings out a particularly farfetched bit of speculation in "Shades of Grey," Chuck provides both a hilarious mockery and a hilarious explanation:
-->'''Data:''' Absolutely, sir, it's similar to when a lion eats a zebra, [[YouFailBiologyForever then the zebra's seeds emerge from the lion's dropping to grow into melons, from which fully-grown zebras spring to continue the circle of life]]. Which reminds me, captain, there's a large magnet over my quarters which I would like [[ElectronicSpeechImpediment tooooooooWWWWWWWW]][[NonSequiturThud Welcome our contestants to tonight's show!]]
* From TNG's "Evolution"
** Dubbing the big baseball speech from ''Film/FieldOfDreams'' over a busty woman playing t-ball. It's disturbing how well it fits. "He will come."
** Picard on the phone with tech support.
--->'''Picard''': No, no I already tried that. No listen to me, we tried that, it didn't work! For the love of god listen to me, wait don't put me on hold! Oh god damn it! (...) Yes it's the main computer for the Enterprise-D. D, not B! ... Didn't I talk to you already? Oh screw you!
*** For extra funny points, the people on the other side of the line are the incomprehensible aliens from "Darmok", apparently the Debris!Trek-verse versions of the OperatorFromIndia.
** "Maurice Hurley left as head writer. [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail And there was much rejoicing!]]"
--->"Yay..."
* In ''Loud as a Whisper'' he mentions how the episode was pitched as a way to help dispel myths about the deaf. Cut to Picard trying to communicate.
--> '''Chuck''': Alright, let me get this down. When meeting someone deaf, grab their head in both hands and scream at them.
* Taking his sarcasm {{Up To Eleven}} while talking about the way "Up the Long Ladder" plays up the danger of a solar flare...when there had been one just a month previously.
** His sympathy for Colm Meaney being stuck in the middle of a scene full of terrible Irish stereotypes: "[[MoneyDearBoy Paycheck]], [[SurvivalMantra paycheck, paycheck]]... urgggh, ''paycheck, paycheck..."''
** Likewise he decides to drive home the "terrible Irish stereotype" point by subbing out the usual theme song with something by [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_47 Black 47]].
* From "Peak Performance", one of Picard's options in a no-win situation involving an alien named Kolrami is to [[KonamiCode put in the Kolrami code to get an extra thirty lives]].
* When Data brings out a particularly farfetched bit of speculation in "Shades of Grey," Chuck provides both a hilarious mockery and a hilarious explanation:
-->'''Data:''' Absolutely, sir, it's similar to when a lion eats a zebra, [[YouFailBiologyForever then the zebra's seeds emerge from the lion's dropping to grow into melons, from which fully-grown zebras spring to continue the circle of life]]. Which reminds me, captain, there's a large magnet over my quarters which I would like [[ElectronicSpeechImpediment tooooooooWWWWWWWW]][[NonSequiturThud Welcome our contestants to tonight's show!]]
* From TNG's "Evolution"
** Dubbing the big baseball speech from ''Film/FieldOfDreams'' over a busty woman playing t-ball. It's disturbing how well it fits. "He will come."
** Picard on the phone with tech support.
--->'''Picard''': No, no I already tried that. No listen to me, we tried that, it didn't work! For the love of god listen to me, wait don't put me on hold! Oh god damn it! (...) Yes it's the main computer for the Enterprise-D. D, not B! ... Didn't I talk to you already? Oh screw you!
*** For extra funny points, the people on the other side of the line are the incomprehensible aliens from "Darmok", apparently the Debris!Trek-verse versions of the OperatorFromIndia.
** "Maurice Hurley left as head writer. [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail And there was much rejoicing!]]"
--->"Yay..."
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Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck!Picard:''' The dumbness rubs off.
to:
--->'''Chuck!Picard:''' The dumbness rubs off.off.
* From "Skin of Evil":
** Chuck describing Armus' voice as "sounding like a mob boss in a tunnel trying to take a crap and failing".
* From ''Where Silence has Lease''
-->'''Nagilum:''' Hmmm... now would be a good time to learn about death by killing one of you.\\
'''Riker:''' Oh no!\\
'''Picard:''' Oh no!\\
'''Troi:''' Oh no!\\
'''Data:''' Oh no!\\
'''{{Red Shirt}}ed [[BlackDudeDiesFirst Black Guy]]:''' '''MOTHER FUCKER!'''
** For some reason the ship's pilot is a black man in a Red Shirt. Picard confuses him with Geordi. And then when Nagilum kills the Red Shirt:
--->'''Picard:''' Send another red-shirted black fellow to the Bridge!\\
'''Geordi:''' *[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere leaves]]*
*** Also, the reason said black guy replaced Weasley: Picard was afraid that his death would negatively impact his chances of getting Dr. Crusher the same way [[FreudianSlip killing her husban-]] [[VerbalBackpedaling I mean, being forced to leave him to die]] did.
** Having set the self-destruct sequence, Picard prepares for the end, by... sitting back in a chair and putting his feet on the table.
--->'''Picard:''' Don't scuff up the table, huh? Well, I'm the captain, and I'll do whatever the hell I feel like! ''*door chime*'' Oh, crap! ''(takes feet off the table)''
* "The Outrageous Okona":
** He duly points out that it's really hard to write good jokes about bad comedy since it all comes back to the same point, but he makes a few really, ''really'' good stabs. After Okana shares some of his, uh, "wisdom" and explains he was joking, Chuck exasperatedly says, "After listening to you, Okona, I don't even know what a joke is anymore."
** Chuck's complete confusion over a joke that was so bad that it was ''cut'' in favor of Joe Piscopo's lame material is comedy gold.
** "Blame the pattern of my life!" "I blame the pattern of your vest."
** The entire discussion about the horrible failed joke Guinan tells... and the one from the original draft of the script, which made even less sense. “If there’s a joke in there, we need a team of archaeologists with those little brushes to go in there and look for it.”
* From "Skin of Evil":
** Chuck describing Armus' voice as "sounding like a mob boss in a tunnel trying to take a crap and failing".
* From ''Where Silence has Lease''
-->'''Nagilum:''' Hmmm... now would be a good time to learn about death by killing one of you.\\
'''Riker:''' Oh no!\\
'''Picard:''' Oh no!\\
'''Troi:''' Oh no!\\
'''Data:''' Oh no!\\
'''{{Red Shirt}}ed [[BlackDudeDiesFirst Black Guy]]:''' '''MOTHER FUCKER!'''
** For some reason the ship's pilot is a black man in a Red Shirt. Picard confuses him with Geordi. And then when Nagilum kills the Red Shirt:
--->'''Picard:''' Send another red-shirted black fellow to the Bridge!\\
'''Geordi:''' *[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere leaves]]*
*** Also, the reason said black guy replaced Weasley: Picard was afraid that his death would negatively impact his chances of getting Dr. Crusher the same way [[FreudianSlip killing her husban-]] [[VerbalBackpedaling I mean, being forced to leave him to die]] did.
** Having set the self-destruct sequence, Picard prepares for the end, by... sitting back in a chair and putting his feet on the table.
--->'''Picard:''' Don't scuff up the table, huh? Well, I'm the captain, and I'll do whatever the hell I feel like! ''*door chime*'' Oh, crap! ''(takes feet off the table)''
* "The Outrageous Okona":
** He duly points out that it's really hard to write good jokes about bad comedy since it all comes back to the same point, but he makes a few really, ''really'' good stabs. After Okana shares some of his, uh, "wisdom" and explains he was joking, Chuck exasperatedly says, "After listening to you, Okona, I don't even know what a joke is anymore."
** Chuck's complete confusion over a joke that was so bad that it was ''cut'' in favor of Joe Piscopo's lame material is comedy gold.
** "Blame the pattern of my life!" "I blame the pattern of your vest."
** The entire discussion about the horrible failed joke Guinan tells... and the one from the original draft of the script, which made even less sense. “If there’s a joke in there, we need a team of archaeologists with those little brushes to go in there and look for it.”
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ3kC23GYMQ Taken to its logical conclusion.]]
to:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ3kC23GYMQ Taken to its logical conclusion.]]]]
* "Haven":
** When Lwaxana Troi spouts her titles.
--->'''Chuck''': Who am I?! I am His Grace, Sir SF Debris, Duke of the People Who Don't Give A Rat's Ass and Knight of the Order of Go Fuck Yourself! And, of course, a viewer with an opinion.
** He calls her "the daughter of the daughter of the House of Pancakes".
* From "Datalore":
** "Yeah, people used to get smacked upside the head for being irritating, and I'm all for bringing it back right now, so enough with the 'I'm a robot and I'm from the future' shtick, okay?"
* "Angel One":
** Doubling as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome Chuck's TakeThat at its attitude by comparing the pandering to a matriarchal society by having the same concept being subverted by Psycho!Janeway threatening a Patriarchal society by beating them to death with her heel.
** Right before that he points out the ridiculousness of having Troi open communications with the planet on the basis she's a woman. After Chuck points out (in detail) how it's stupidly sexist he imagines the situation if Chakotay has suggested this tactic with Janeway:
--->'''Chakotay''': Perhaps I should conduct the negotiations since I'm a man, Captain.\\
'''Janeway''': Yeah, keep holding on to that delusion.\\
'''Chakotay''': The Kazon would be more amendable to a negotiation with a man.\\
'''Janeway''': If you find one on board this ship let me know otherwise I'm handling it.\\
'''Chakotay''': Captain, look, I'm as offended as you are by their attitudes, but do it for the good of the crew, for the good of the team.\\
'''Janeway''': Yeah, and as my Dad used to say, there's no 'I' in "Go Fuck Yourself." And then he'd throw a beer bottle at the TV and pass out. And you know what? I'd still let him negotiate before I let you screw it up so '''piss off!'''
** Chuck yelling that there are five lights, if only to make an awkward scene of Riker, Troi and Yar explaining the concept of perfume and sex to Data end faster.
* From "When the Bough Breaks":
** "You spent your childhood learning calculus, Riker. She spent hers trying to protect herself and her sister from the roving rape gangs on Planet Mad Max. Think we can forgive her of her ignorance of galactic legends."
** After Picard gives the order not to touch Wesley.
--->'''Chuck!Picard:''' The dumbness rubs off.
* "Haven":
** When Lwaxana Troi spouts her titles.
--->'''Chuck''': Who am I?! I am His Grace, Sir SF Debris, Duke of the People Who Don't Give A Rat's Ass and Knight of the Order of Go Fuck Yourself! And, of course, a viewer with an opinion.
** He calls her "the daughter of the daughter of the House of Pancakes".
* From "Datalore":
** "Yeah, people used to get smacked upside the head for being irritating, and I'm all for bringing it back right now, so enough with the 'I'm a robot and I'm from the future' shtick, okay?"
* "Angel One":
** Doubling as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome Chuck's TakeThat at its attitude by comparing the pandering to a matriarchal society by having the same concept being subverted by Psycho!Janeway threatening a Patriarchal society by beating them to death with her heel.
** Right before that he points out the ridiculousness of having Troi open communications with the planet on the basis she's a woman. After Chuck points out (in detail) how it's stupidly sexist he imagines the situation if Chakotay has suggested this tactic with Janeway:
--->'''Chakotay''': Perhaps I should conduct the negotiations since I'm a man, Captain.\\
'''Janeway''': Yeah, keep holding on to that delusion.\\
'''Chakotay''': The Kazon would be more amendable to a negotiation with a man.\\
'''Janeway''': If you find one on board this ship let me know otherwise I'm handling it.\\
'''Chakotay''': Captain, look, I'm as offended as you are by their attitudes, but do it for the good of the crew, for the good of the team.\\
'''Janeway''': Yeah, and as my Dad used to say, there's no 'I' in "Go Fuck Yourself." And then he'd throw a beer bottle at the TV and pass out. And you know what? I'd still let him negotiate before I let you screw it up so '''piss off!'''
** Chuck yelling that there are five lights, if only to make an awkward scene of Riker, Troi and Yar explaining the concept of perfume and sex to Data end faster.
* From "When the Bough Breaks":
** "You spent your childhood learning calculus, Riker. She spent hers trying to protect herself and her sister from the roving rape gangs on Planet Mad Max. Think we can forgive her of her ignorance of galactic legends."
** After Picard gives the order not to touch Wesley.
--->'''Chuck!Picard:''' The dumbness rubs off.
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Chuck:''' So the weapons the women will be using...were made for ''women'' to use. I...I think you might be on to something, Lieutenant Commander No Shit!
to:
--->'''Chuck:''' So the weapons the women will be using...were made for ''women'' to use. I...I think you might be on to something, Lieutenant Commander No Shit!Shit!
* From "The Last Outpost":
** "Data makes the comment that they don't wear red, white, and blue and look like Uncle Sam."
* In the early episode "Where No One Has Gone Before" the Enterprise is sent to the edge of the known universe, an area where the crew's thoughts manifest as reality. This causes Worf's childhood pet (a weird alien animal called a targ) to appear which causes Tasha Yar to say "You're telling me its a kitty cat?"(!) Chuck spends a while berating her for this stupidity then the episode continues. An actual cat then manifests. Chuck(as Tasha): "Oh look!!! A Frog!!!"
** And then, there's the iconic scene where Picard nearly exits a turbolift into open space.
--->'''Chuck as Picard''': "Damn, I always mix up Engineering and the Portal of Doom!"
* From his "Justice" review, his reaction to Picard asking why is everything a "something" or a "whatever".
-->'''Chuck''': Sorry, your irritable-ness. This thingamabob from yonder contraption is up to hell-if-I-know.
** "'Justice' is the Anime/{{Voltron}} of Star Trek suck. It takes the inane paradise planet with fake deity of TOS, the ''Voyager'' weak one-word title, the ''Enterprise'' bumbling-about-like-idiots approach, the painfully bad comedy of DS9, and the TNG characters trying to be as unlikeable as possible."
* From "The Battle":
** "I think the only good things he ever did for Star Trek was Q Who and leaving."
* From ''Hide and Q'', when Picard compliments Riker over [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/t111.php not using his newly granted Q powers to save a little girl.]]
-->'''Picard:''' You were right not to try.\\
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. TO EXPAND. ACROSS. THE UN-I-VERSE. [[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]\\
'''Chuck''' (Calmer): Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ3kC23GYMQ Taken to its logical conclusion.]]
* From "The Last Outpost":
** "Data makes the comment that they don't wear red, white, and blue and look like Uncle Sam."
* In the early episode "Where No One Has Gone Before" the Enterprise is sent to the edge of the known universe, an area where the crew's thoughts manifest as reality. This causes Worf's childhood pet (a weird alien animal called a targ) to appear which causes Tasha Yar to say "You're telling me its a kitty cat?"(!) Chuck spends a while berating her for this stupidity then the episode continues. An actual cat then manifests. Chuck(as Tasha): "Oh look!!! A Frog!!!"
** And then, there's the iconic scene where Picard nearly exits a turbolift into open space.
--->'''Chuck as Picard''': "Damn, I always mix up Engineering and the Portal of Doom!"
* From his "Justice" review, his reaction to Picard asking why is everything a "something" or a "whatever".
-->'''Chuck''': Sorry, your irritable-ness. This thingamabob from yonder contraption is up to hell-if-I-know.
** "'Justice' is the Anime/{{Voltron}} of Star Trek suck. It takes the inane paradise planet with fake deity of TOS, the ''Voyager'' weak one-word title, the ''Enterprise'' bumbling-about-like-idiots approach, the painfully bad comedy of DS9, and the TNG characters trying to be as unlikeable as possible."
* From "The Battle":
** "I think the only good things he ever did for Star Trek was Q Who and leaving."
* From ''Hide and Q'', when Picard compliments Riker over [[http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/t111.php not using his newly granted Q powers to save a little girl.]]
-->'''Picard:''' You were right not to try.\\
'''Chuck:''' She NEEDED to die. We must cull the weak from the herd! We must remove the Impure. AND LEAVE. ONLY THOSE. IN THE CRUCIBLE. WITH THE MIGHT. TO EXPAND. ACROSS. THE UN-I-VERSE. [[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EX-TERM-I-NAAAATE!!!]]\\
'''Chuck''' (Calmer): Yeah, I know. Some of you don't like it when I yell.
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ3kC23GYMQ Taken to its logical conclusion.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
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Added DiffLines:
* From "Encounter at Farpoint, Part I":
** "We represent the post-apocalyptic lollipop guild! And we wish to welcome you to Valt 101!"
* From "Encounter at Farpoint, Part II":
** "Listen, you stupid crybaby, the last thing I need is for my goddamn therapist to start weeping every frickin' time someone on the ship stubs their toe! Now, let me make this real simple, if you sense an emotion I might actually give a damn about, tell me, and then shut your bitchhole! For God's sake, I'd like to finish this mission while I still have some of my own hair left!"
* From "The Naked Now":
** "You know, Number One, in your country, you send ships into space, but in Soviet Russia, ships sends you into space! Ha, ha, ha. Hey, where are you all going?"
* "Code of Honor":
** The entire sketch about how Worf has named his penis and testicles "courage" and "honor".
** From the same episode, the "here are the rules of the game" for the fight, as presented by Chuck's impersonation of Lutan's Second.
** It's time for... VideoGame/YarsRevenge!
** Don't forget Lutan's feelings about his new friends.
--->'''Lutan''': With so much friendship around I feel no need for my gawds.\\
'''Chuck''': Your ''gods''!? I don't need you anymore, vengeful deities, I have REAL friends now. And they don't make me sacrifice bitches or anything. He *{{beat}}* OH! ''GUARDS''.
** Data's CaptainObvious moment where he says that the weapons the women will be using are very light, "as if they were made for women to use."
--->'''Chuck:''' So the weapons the women will be using...were made for ''women'' to use. I...I think you might be on to something, Lieutenant Commander No Shit!
** "We represent the post-apocalyptic lollipop guild! And we wish to welcome you to Valt 101!"
* From "Encounter at Farpoint, Part II":
** "Listen, you stupid crybaby, the last thing I need is for my goddamn therapist to start weeping every frickin' time someone on the ship stubs their toe! Now, let me make this real simple, if you sense an emotion I might actually give a damn about, tell me, and then shut your bitchhole! For God's sake, I'd like to finish this mission while I still have some of my own hair left!"
* From "The Naked Now":
** "You know, Number One, in your country, you send ships into space, but in Soviet Russia, ships sends you into space! Ha, ha, ha. Hey, where are you all going?"
* "Code of Honor":
** The entire sketch about how Worf has named his penis and testicles "courage" and "honor".
** From the same episode, the "here are the rules of the game" for the fight, as presented by Chuck's impersonation of Lutan's Second.
** It's time for... VideoGame/YarsRevenge!
** Don't forget Lutan's feelings about his new friends.
--->'''Lutan''': With so much friendship around I feel no need for my gawds.\\
'''Chuck''': Your ''gods''!? I don't need you anymore, vengeful deities, I have REAL friends now. And they don't make me sacrifice bitches or anything. He *{{beat}}* OH! ''GUARDS''.
** Data's CaptainObvious moment where he says that the weapons the women will be using are very light, "as if they were made for women to use."
--->'''Chuck:''' So the weapons the women will be using...were made for ''women'' to use. I...I think you might be on to something, Lieutenant Commander No Shit!
