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“Aye, well, he’ll be wed a long time,” he said callously. “Do him no harm to keep his breeches on for one night. And they do say that abstinence makes the heart grow firmer, no?”
“Absence,” I said, dodging the spoon for a moment. “And fonder. If anything’s growing firmer from abstinence, it wouldn’t be his heart.”



“Aye, well, he’ll be wed a long time,” he said callously. “Do him no harm to keep his breeches on for one night. And they do say that abstinence makes the heart grow firmer, no?”
“Absence,” I said, dodging the spoon for a moment. “And fonder. If anything’s growing firmer from abstinence, it wouldn’t be his heart.”




---> '''Jamie:''' [about Fergus spending the night apart from Marsali] Aye, well, he’ll be wed a long time. Do him no harm to keep his breeches on for one night. And they do say that abstinence makes the heart grow firmer, no?
---> '''Claire:''' Absence. And fonder. If anything’s growing firmer from abstinence, it wouldn’t be his heart.



* As part of a larger ruse, Jamie begins loudly confessing to various embarrassing sins, including having "impure thoughts" brought on by seeing a woman vigorously churning butter.

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* As part of a larger separate ruse, Jamie begins loudly confessing to various embarrassing sins, including having "impure thoughts" brought on by seeing a woman vigorously churning butter.



** When Hal realizes that the doctor Claire sent is the man his daughter is engaged to, he reacts...strongly.

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** When Hal realizes that the doctor Claire sent treating him is the man his daughter is engaged to, he reacts...strongly.


** The scene where Jenny threatens to shoot the Duke for his regiment's not inconsiderable role in looting her home and destroying her family's lives should be a serious one. Jenny even gives AReasonWhyYouSuckSpeech. Jamie arrives just in time to grab Jenny's arm, and Jenny's bullet hits the mantelpiece instead. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes both Jamie and Hal want to laugh. Jamie stops himself from laughing only "by the sure knowledge that his sister would immediately reload and shoot him at point-blank range if he did."

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** The scene where Jenny threatens to shoot the Duke for his regiment's not inconsiderable role in looting her home and destroying her family's lives should be a serious one. Jenny even gives AReasonWhyYouSuckSpeech.TheReasonYouSuckSpeech. Jamie arrives just in time to grab Jenny's arm, and Jenny's bullet hits the mantelpiece instead. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes both Jamie and Hal want to laugh. Jamie stops himself from laughing only "by the sure knowledge that his sister would immediately reload and shoot him at point-blank range if he did."


** The scene where Jenny threatens to shoot the Duke for his regiment's not inconsiderable role in looting her home and destroying her family's lives should be a serious one. Jenny even gives a ReasonsWhyYouSuckSpeech. Jamie arrives just in time to grab Jenny's arm, and Jenny's bullet hits the mantelpiece instead. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes both Jamie and Hal want to laugh. Jamie stops himself from laughing only "by the sure knowledge that his sister would immediately reload and shoot him at point-blank range if he did."

to:

** The scene where Jenny threatens to shoot the Duke for his regiment's not inconsiderable role in looting her home and destroying her family's lives should be a serious one. Jenny even gives a ReasonsWhyYouSuckSpeech.AReasonWhyYouSuckSpeech. Jamie arrives just in time to grab Jenny's arm, and Jenny's bullet hits the mantelpiece instead. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes both Jamie and Hal want to laugh. Jamie stops himself from laughing only "by the sure knowledge that his sister would immediately reload and shoot him at point-blank range if he did."


---> '''Mrs. Figg''' William know that?

to:

---> '''Mrs. Figg''' Figg:''' William know that?


Added DiffLines:

** The scene where Jenny threatens to shoot the Duke for his regiment's not inconsiderable role in looting her home and destroying her family's lives should be a serious one. Jenny even gives a ReasonsWhyYouSuckSpeech. Jamie arrives just in time to grab Jenny's arm, and Jenny's bullet hits the mantelpiece instead. Something about the absurdity of the situation makes both Jamie and Hal want to laugh. Jamie stops himself from laughing only "by the sure knowledge that his sister would immediately reload and shoot him at point-blank range if he did."
** And then a little later:
---> '''Jamie:''' Ought ye to turn him loose, d’ye think?
---> '''Jenny:''' We canna do that; he might die.
---> '''Jamie:''' Oh. Why is that?
---> '''Jenny:''' He canna breathe properly, and [Claire] was afraid if she let him loose before he was quite over it, he’d die in the street, and her conscience wouldna let her do that.
---> '''Jamie:''' I see. So ye were about to shoot him in the house, in order to keep him from dyin’ in the street.
---> '''Jenny:''' [while still priming the gun] I wouldna really have shot him in the guts. I’d just have winged him in the leg. Or maybe shot off a couple o’ toes.
---> '''Hal:''' [muffled laughter]
** When Hal realizes that the doctor Claire sent is the man his daughter is engaged to, he reacts...strongly.

Added DiffLines:

* While visiting Jocasta, Claire is accosted by the foppish Phillip Wylie, who insists that she's been flirting with him and kisses her against her will. She leaves, flustered and angry, and immediately runs into Jamie. They have what appears to be a normal conversation, but Jamie keeps pausing to frown and looking at her oddly. After a few minutes, he finally interrupts her mid-sentence to ask her what in the name of God she's been doing and tell her that Wylie's false birthmark is still stuck to her cheek.


* The tension around John and William's visit is somewhat broken when Young Ian accidentally knocks William into the privy. Jamie and John are practically rolling on the floor with laughter as William grows increasingly angry. Even more funny (to the reader anyway) is Ian's sudden and entirely silent realization that William looks just like Jamie when he's angry. After glancing confusedly between Jamie and William for a few seconds, he catches Claire's warning look and his face goes "unnaturally blank."



* Claire tells Jamie to "“Then look happy, damn you!” at Brianna's (Protestant) wedding. Jamie proceeds to "assume an expression of benevolence one degree short of outright imbecility," unnerving several other guests. Germain sees Jamie making faces, and adopts the same expression, encouraging Fergus to do the same.



---> '''Dr. Rawlings:''' Why … it … the … the loss of the male essence is most debilitating. It drains the vitality and exposes a man to all manner of sickness, as well as grossly impairing his mental and spiritual faculties

to:

---> '''Dr. Rawlings:''' Why … it … the … the Why...it...the...the loss of the male essence is most debilitating. It drains the vitality and exposes a man to all manner of sickness, as well as grossly impairing his mental and spiritual faculties


** “Oh, no, Father; it was a barrel churn. The sort that lies on its side, aye, with a wee handle to turn it? Well, it’s only that she was workin’ the churn with great vigor, and the laces of her bodice undone, so that her breasts wobbled to and fro, and the cloth clinging to her with the sweat of her work. Now, the churn was just the right height—and curved, aye?—so as make me think of bendin’ her across it and lifting her skirts, and—”
My mouth opened involuntarily in shock. That was my bodice he was describing, my breasts, and my butter churn! To say nothing of my skirts. I remembered that particular occasion quite vividly, and if it had started with an impure thought, it certainly hadn’t stopped there.

to:

** “Oh, no, Father; it was a barrel churn. The sort that lies on its side, aye, with a wee handle to turn it? Well, it’s only that she was workin’ the churn with great vigor, and the laces of her bodice undone, so that her breasts wobbled to and fro, and the cloth clinging to her with the sweat of her work. Now, the churn was just the right height—and curved, aye?—so as make me think of bendin’ her across it and lifting her skirts, and—”
and—” My mouth opened involuntarily in shock. That was my bodice he was describing, my breasts, and my butter churn! To say nothing of my skirts. I remembered that particular occasion quite vividly, and if it had started with an impure thought, it certainly hadn’t stopped there.



to:

* As part of a larger ruse, Jamie begins loudly confessing to various embarrassing sins, including having "impure thoughts" brought on by seeing a woman vigorously churning butter.
** “Oh, no, Father; it was a barrel churn. The sort that lies on its side, aye, with a wee handle to turn it? Well, it’s only that she was workin’ the churn with great vigor, and the laces of her bodice undone, so that her breasts wobbled to and fro, and the cloth clinging to her with the sweat of her work. Now, the churn was just the right height—and curved, aye?—so as make me think of bendin’ her across it and lifting her skirts, and—”
My mouth opened involuntarily in shock. That was my bodice he was describing, my breasts, and my butter churn! To say nothing of my skirts. I remembered that particular occasion quite vividly, and if it had started with an impure thought, it certainly hadn’t stopped there.




to:

* Tom and Claire's awkward reunion.
---> '''Tom:''' You are a most uncomfortable woman!
---> '''Claire:''' [dryly] You wouldn’t be the first person to think so.



to:

* Jamie retelling the story of how he met Fergus.
---> '''Jamie:''' I’ll leave it to you, Sassenach, to imagine what it feels like to arrive unexpectedly in the midst of a brothel, in possession of a verra large sausage.


Added DiffLines:



* Young Ian is openly terrified when he first meets Claire, believing her to be a prostitute sleeping with his uncle. He's further horrified when Claire casually says she's known his father for "quite a long time." It takes a while before anyone bothers to enlighten him.

---> '''Young Ian:''' I mean you're a damned hypocrite! Preachin' to me and Michael about purity and keepin' to one woman, and all the time you're slinkin' about the city, sniffin' after whores! [...] You're a goddamned whited sepulchre!
---> '''Old Ian:''' What the bloody, stinking hell d'ye mean by that, ye whelp?
---> '''Young Ian:''' Her! ''[points at Claire]'' You deceivin' my Mam with this filthy whore, that's what I mean!
---> '''Old Ian:''' Ye great clot! A fine way to speak of your auntie Claire, to say nothing of me and your Mam!
---> '''Young Ian:''' Auntie?!?





to:

* Claire attacks an angry black bear with a fish. It doesn't work.


* Jamie giving Hamish an impromptu sex talk, with Claire hidden in the hayloft. Claire has to stuff her dress in her mouth to keep from laughing when Hamish asks if men bite their partner on the neck during sex.
* When Claire's sitting outside Lallybroch, listening to Jenny and Jamie scream at each other. Ian arrives and is visibly unconcerned.
---> '''Ian:''' Ah, Jamie's home then.
* Jamie explaining to Claire why he married her, while dodging blows from Claire.
---> '''Jamie:''' And I said to myself, ‘Jamie, lad, if her touch feels so bonny on your collarbone, imagine what it might feel like lower down...''[Claire throws a chair at him]'' Of course, I thought it might ha’ just been the effects of spending four months in a monastery, without benefit of female companionship, but then that ride through the dark together with that lovely broad arse wedged between my thighs ''[Claire tries to punch him]'' “and that rock-solid head thumping me in the chest” ''[Claire throws a metal object at him, Jamie is practically crying with laughter]'' “I said to myself...Jamie...I said...for all she’s a Sassenach bitch… with a tongue like an adder’s… with a bum like that… what does it matter if she’s a f-face like a sh-sh-sheep?
* Shortly after this, Jenny walks in on Claire and Jamie on the floor together and matter-of-factly tells him that the floor will give him splinters in his arse.




to:

* Lord John sincerely telling Claire that, “Beyond the state of my bowels, I have no secrets from you, madame.”




to:

* When Claire experiments with her new microscope by borrowing some of Jamie's sperm.
---> '''Claire:''' These particular beasts aren't germs, though--they're sperms.
---> '''Jamie:''' They're what?
---> '''Claire:''' Male reproductive cells. You know, what makes babies?
---> '''Jamie:''' ''[turning red]'' You mean seed? Spunk?
---> '''Claire:''' Well...yes.
---> '''Jamie:''' ''[suddenly suspicious]'' Whose are they?
---> '''Claire:''' Er - well, yours of course. Who else's would they be?
---> '''Jamie:''' How the hell did you get them?
---> '''Claire:''' How do you think? I woke up in custody of them this morning.
** After Claire explains sperms and zygotes to a rather mortified Jamie, he makes to leave then turns back.
---> '''Jamie:''' Can you not take them out and give them a decent burial or something?
---> '''Claire:''' I'll take good care of them. I always do, don't I?




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* Ian after a somewhat embarrassing injury:
---> '''Ian:''' Has anyone ever told you what a comical fellow ye are, Uncle Jamie?"
---> '''Jamie:''' No.
---> '''Ian:''' That's as well, because ye’re not.
* When an extremely embarrassed Jamie finally tells Claire about the naked women Bird keeps sending to his bed, Claire laughs so hard she nearly re-breaks her ribs.


* Germain attempting to intercede on John's behalf.

to:

* When Jamie and John see each other for the first time after Jamie punched him, Germain attempting attempts to intercede on John's behalf.lighten the mood.



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* Germain attempting to intercede on John's behalf.
---> '''Germain''' You mustn’t hit him again, Grand-père. He’s a very good man, and I’m sure he won’t take Grannie to bed anymore, now that you’re home to do it.


---> '''Claire:''' [gestures at the half-destroyed entry hall] He does now.

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---> '''Claire:''' [gestures ''[gestures at the half-destroyed entry hall] hall]'' He does now.




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* The long-suffering Duke of Pardloe provides a great deal of comic relief as well.

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