History Funny / McLintock

* The spanking scene.
** Both of them.
*** The fact that when—at the urging of pretty much ''everyone in town''—G.W. finally agrees to take Kate down a peg, he does so with the same grim, stone-faced determination that, in any other John Wayne movie, would be reserved for the climactic gun fight.

-->'''McLintock''': That's about it.

* Love Wayne's very first lines in the movie.
--> Don't say it's a fine morning or I'll shoot ya!

* Becky asks [=McLintock=] to shoot Devlin Warren because he called her a trollop [[ValuesDissonance (because she let Junior Douglas kill her without being properly engaged)]]. {=McLintock=} immediately takes out a gun out of the cupboard and shoots him [[spoiler: with a blank]]. Becky getting furious with her father. Devlin's [[OhCrap realization]] as he takes the [[blank]] shot point-blank and falls over, figuring he's dead.

-->'''Drago''': Some women I know'd be worth it.

-->'''Drago''': That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you pay a woman not to live with ya?

-->'''Drago''': That divorce business. Is that whatcha get when you paya woman not to live with ya?

-->'''Drago''':Some women I know'd be worth it.

** Both of them.

** And finally,

--> '''Drago''': Hey Ching, you kill yourself, I'll cut of your pigtail and y'ain't never gonna get to Heaven! (swishes his pocketknife ready and able)
--> '''Ching''': (Ching pauses) I'll be one of the family?

--> '''G.W. [=McLintock=]''': (Gestures at Drago) Cut off his pigtail! (Drago starts to walk up the stairs, pocketknife in hand)

--> ''I'' know--''I'' know; I'm gonna use good judgment--I haven't ''(poke!)'' lost my temper in ''forty years'', but ''(poke!)'' '''pilgrim''' you caused a lot of ''trouble'' this morning, ''(poke)'' might have got somebody ''killed''... and somebody oughta '''belt you in the mouth!''' But ''I'' won't. ''(poke)'' ''I'' won't. ''({{Beat}})'' The ''hell'' I won't--! (belts Jones in the mouth)

** Later, after they fall down the stairs and Katherine finds Mrs. Warren sitting on his lap, Mrs. Warren finally remembers what she needed to say. Katherine congratulates her, then points out that she's ''still'' sitting in [=McClintock's=] lap.

** Later, after they fall down the stairs and Katherine finds Mrs. Warren sitting on his lap, Mrs. Warren finally remembers what she needed to say. Katherine congratulates her, then points out that she's ''still'' sitting in [=McClintock's] lap.

** Also,
--> '''Running Buffalo''': Great party, but no whisky. We go home.

** [=McLintock=], as he tumbles down the mud hole into Kate, lets out a big YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

** [=McLintock=], as he tumbles down the mud hole into Kate, lets out a big YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

--> ''I'' know--''I'' know; I'm gonna use good judgment--I haven't ''(poke!)'' lost my temper in ''forty years'', but ''(poke!)'' '''pilgrim''' you caused a lot of ''trouble'' this morning, ''(poke)'' might have got somebody ''killed''... and somebody oughta '''belt you in the mouth!''' But ''I'' won't. ''(poke)'' ''I'' won't. ''({{Beat})'' The ''hell'' I won't--! (belts Jones in the mouth)

--> I know, I know. I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The ''hell'' I won't! (belts Jones in the mouth)

* [[NonIndicativeName Tiny Mouse!]]
* When [=McLintock=] and Drago are standing on the porch trying to explain the situation to Ching the cook. Instead of being reasonable, Ching stands there with a rather large meat cleaver! Ready to defend his position.

* The spanking scene!
** Both of them!

* Tiny Mouse!

* Ol' Running Buffalos' often repeated line.

--> '''G.W. [=McLintock=]''': I'm not talkin' about *firing* you I'm ''RETIRING'' you! You've been rustlin' food for us for forty years! We're gonna put you out to pasture. All you'll have to do is give advice, be one of the family!