History Funny / MassEffect1

** Which gets referenced in the second game when Renegade Shepard, during Thane's loyalty mission, can threaten to cut Elias Kelham's balls off and sell them to a krogan.

that?!
-->''I think he is using this Qi’in fellow to draw flies from his own (egg) clutch [[note]] The implication is that Anoleis has rotting eggs attracting flies. And Samaritan’s are egg laying amphibians [[/note]].''

!Feros

* If you didn't get the codes to start the Neutron Purge, interracting with Mira the VI will net you thr option to "Mumble something" which leads to Shepard mumbling "Sic Semper Tyran- *ahem*", [[labelnote:Explanation]]"Sic semper tyrannis", latin for "Thus always to tyrants." It was a phrase spoken by Brutus during Julius Caesar's assasination and John Wilkes Booth during his assassination of Abraham Lincoln.[[/labelnote]] in a shout out to ''[[Franchise/EvilDead Army of Darkness]]'''s "[[KlaatuBaradaNikto Klaatu...Barada...*mumble*]]" The VI will [[{{Beat}} take a slight pause]] before denying access.

--->'''Shepard:''' Why not? We've got [[Series/{{V}} oceans]], [[MarsNeedsWomen beautiful women]], [[WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove this emotion called love]]. According to the old vids, we have everything they want.

* Anderson's answer to Lockdown's problem, if you suggest or allow him to hack into Udina's terminal.

-->''later...''

-->'''Captain Anderson:''' *TalkToTheFist*

--->'''Tali''': Don't press [[BigRedButton big red buttons]]. Even funnier considering ''[[FridgeBrilliance quarians can't see red]].''

--->'''Tali''': Don't press [[BigRedButton big red buttons]].

---->I can see why this place is so popular. It's got quite the... view.

----> "Hey, LT, put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it."

* When playing as an [[SquishyWizard Adept]], use the Lift power to fling a charging krogan into the air. It turns out that the game incorporated Newton's first law into the game, and the krogan will float up while still moving forward, drifting over Shepard's head while flailing uselessly. The kicker? The path of the krogan's drift can end up taking him over a railing.

* If you didn't get the codes to start the Neutron Purge, interracting with Mira the VI will net you thr option to "Mumble something" which leads to Shepard mumbling "Sic Semper Tyran- *ahem*", [[labelnote:Explanation]]"Sic semper tyrannis", latin for "Thus always to tyrants." It was a phrase spoken by Brutus during Julius Caesar's assasination and John Wilkes Booth during his assassination of Abraham Lincoln.[[/labelnote]] in a shout out to ''[[Franchise/EvilDead Army of Darkness]]'''s "Klaatu...Barada...*mumble*" The VI will [[{{Beat}} take a slight pause]] before denying access.

* Take Garrus with you when you turn in the [[spoiler:Asari Diplomacy]] Assignment.

-->'''Garrus:''' "[[CaptainObvious Obviously.]]"

** And of course, it's in response to this: "It looks like you're trying to restore this facility. Would you like help?", referencing the [[StopHelpingMe infamous]] Clippy from older versions of Microsoft Office.

* One of the final scenes in the game, just before Shepard has to choose whether or not to save the Council and their squadmates debate saving them or not, has a [[GoodBadBug funny little glitch]] in which one squadmate fails to spawn, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ablRsfNXoJc leading to the remaining squadmate]] developing a split personality and aruging with ''themselves'' over saving the Council or not.

'''Ochren:''' [[SarcasmMode No--our operatives train in a simulator by killing real,]] ''[[SarcasmMode actual]]'' [[SarcasmMode people.]]

-->'''Garrus:''' "[[CaptainObvious Obviously.]]"

** And then there's the conversation with Lorik Qui'in, hilarious no matter who you bring with you: Kaidan's [[CovertPervert remark]] about asari and extranet fetish sites, Ashley's ironic TakeThat against the video game industry, Qui'in calmly asking Shepard to try not to get blood on his office carpets, and Wrex telling Qui'in that if the Executive Board doesn't support him, "you should eat them."

* [[BizarreAlienBiology Krogan Testicles]].

* If you didn't get the codes to start the Neutron Purge, interracting with Mira the VI will net you thr option to "Mumble something" which leads to Shepard mumbling "Sic Semper Tyran- *ahem*", [[labelnote:Explanation]]"Sic semper tyranus", latin for "Thus always to tyrants." It was a phrase spoken by Brutus during Julius Caesar's assasination and John Wilkes Booth during his assassination of Abraham Lincoln.[[/labelnote]] in a shout out to ''[[Franchise/EvilDead Army of Darkness]]'''s "Klaatu...Barada...*mumble*" The VI will [[{{Beat}} take a slight pause]] before denying access.

!Renegade Shepherd

-->'''Renegade!Shephard:''' *{{Beat}}* We don't have time to deal with this idiot. CHARGE.

* If you didn't get the codes to start the Neutron Purge, one of Shepard's lines is "Sic Semper *cough*", in a shout out to ''[[Franchise/EvilDead Army of Darkness]]'''s "Klaatu...Barada...*mumble*" The VI will [[{{Beat}} take a slight pause]] before denying access.

-->'''Ashley''': [[ShoutOut That would be]] [[ThePrincessBride a waste of a perfectly fine ass]]... sir.

* "I've had enough of your snide insinuations." '''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome SHEPARD PAWNCH!]]'''
* Renegade Shepard has a very... direct manner of dealing with demands to surrender:
-->'''Krogan Battlemaster:''' Surrender. Or don't. [[BloodKnight That would be more fun.]]
-->'''Renegade!Shephard:''' *Beat* We don't have time to deal with this idiot. CHARGE.
-->''Cue everyone reaching for their guns.''
-->'''Krogan Battlemaster:''' Oh, I like your attitude.
* Renegade Shepard has by far the most of these in the game.
-->'''Turian Councilor:''' Do you take pleasure in committing genocide, Shepard?
-->'''Shepard:''' Depends on the species... turian.
** The first time you try to warn the Council about the Reapers:
--->'''Shepard:''' I tried to warn you about Saren, and you ignored me. Look how that turned out.
--->'''Turian Councilor:''' I believe you humans have a saying: "Even a broken clock is right twice a day."
--->'''Shepard:''' [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Here's another one: "Go to hell!"]]
* The following exchange:
-->'''Kaidan''': If things don't go well, I want you to know - I've enjoyed serving under you.
-->'''Shepard''': Kaidan, I don't think I've had the pleasure of you [[DoubleEntendre serving under me]] yet.
-->'''Kaidan''': Ouch, I walked right into that one.
** If you mod a save file to romance Kaidan as a male Shepard, this is one of the lines that was recorded before the option was cut, so the dialog plays out in its entirety. Mark Meer's delivery isn't quite as tongue-in-cheek, so he comes off as StraightGay while Kaidan's lines are still delivered the same, like he's talking to a woman.
* This exchange:
-->'''Ashley:''' [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex Wow.]] [[LampshadedDoubleEntendre Gives "down and give me twenty" a whole new meaning.]]\\
'''Shepard:''' You still sassin' me soldier? I think you need some more physical training.
* Also, if you have Wrex with you when you first arrive on Noveria, and you have the confrontation with the dock guards.
-->'''Shepard:''' Easy. We don't want to start a fight.
-->'''Wrex:''' .....Why not?
** Tali's reaction is just as good: "I'll be... right behind you. That armor is in good condition?"
** And then there's the conversation with Lorik Qui'in, hilarious no matter who you bring with you: Kaidan's [[CovertPervert remark]] about asari and extranet fetish sites, Ashley's ironic TakeThat against the video game industry, Qui'in calmly asking Shepard to try not to get blood on his office carpets, and Wrex telling Qui'in that if the Executive Board doesn't support him, "you should eat them."
*** The fetish site thing is especially funny considering his earlier claim that Liara is "not to his taste", and he doesn't have much interest in "alien culture". Suuuuure.
*** He says that about Liara to Fem!Shep, after she asks if he finds their newest crewmember attractive. When talking to M!Shep the conversation goes along these lines:

*** His comments regarding Chora's Den, filled with asari strippers:

*** Though Ashley's reaction is much sillier:

* Lorik Qui'in has evidence that [[spoiler:Administrator Anoleis is crooked and has Shepard retrieve the evidence. If you ask him to testify instead of using it for blackmail, he will refuse. You can convince him... OR you can just give the evidence to Anoleis instead (ruining Qui'in's career, and possibly his life) simply to backstab him. Upon telling Qui'in (who is naturally in shock), he asks why.]] The Renegade response?
-->'''Shepard''': You refused to testify. [[InsaneTrollLogic Obviously you hate justice and deserve this.]]
-->'''Lorik Qui'in''': [[LampshadeHanging What insane breed of logic is that?]]
** Gianna Parasini's reaction is also excellent, as is Shepard's response.
--->'''Parasini:''' Spectre, have you given any more consideration to my offer?
--->'''Shepard:''' Anoleis paid me for it. Tough luck.
--->'''Parasini:''' You're kidding. Do you have any I...WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
--->'''Shepard:''' Language, miss.
** Also, threaten Anoleis with blackmail when you have Garrus and Wrex with you:
--->'''Wrex:''' Ah, [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim we could have saved time by beating him into cooperation.]]
--->'''Garrus:''' [[WhatTheHellHero We couldn't do that!]]
--->'''Wrex:''' Yes we could. Do you think he lifts anything heavier than stacks of hardcopy?
* And in the ruins of Feros:
-->'''Krogan Commander''': Damn it! Tell me what I want or I'll blast your virtual ass into actual dust!
-->'''Virtual Intelligence''': Please contact your supervisor for a level four security exemption, or make an appointment with--
-->'''Krogan Commander''': Stupid machine!
-->'''VI''': If there is nothing else, please step aside. There is a queue forming behind you for the use of this console.
-->''The krogan turns around to see [[TheHero Commander Shepard]] and company.''
-->'''Krogan Commander''': Oh, good, I really need to kill somebody!
* Trying to make small talk with the krogan bounty hunter Inamorda on Noveria.
-->'''Shepard''': What's that you're drinking there?
-->'''Inamorda''': Human blood! With cinnamon!
** And if you negotiate a higher payment out of him and then turn him down...
--->'''Inamorda''': Probably couldn't figure out how much more you'd make. (''to himself'') Stupid base-ten math. That's what they get for having extra ''fingers''.
* The elevator music. Makes the otherwise-boring elevator sequences pretty damn funny.
** Speaking of the elevators, nearly everyone's elevator conversations on the Citadel. Bonus points for the mention of Francis Kitt's production of Hamlet with elcor actors. Becomes even funnier in ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', when you learn that this production of Hamlet is a riveting FOURTEEN HOURS long.
** The much-maligned elevator rides are, at least, good for comedy:
--->'''Wrex:''' Hey, Tali. Your people created the geth, ever talk about it?
--->'''Tali:''' Do the krogan talk about starting a stupid war that got your species sterilized?
--->'''Wrex:''' ''All'' the time.
*** And this:
---->'''Liara:''' Our travels now are somewhat different from my normal excavations. I would prefer lengthier studies, and fewer explosions.
---->'''Tali:''' Yes. Most of the technology that I hoped to send back to the Flotilla has subsequently attempted to kill us.
---->'''Wrex:''' It's good for you. A nice explosion now and then keeps the mind sharp.
---->'''Ashley:''' I think you speak for scientists everywhere, Liara.
*** Wrex, on killing krogans despite the genophage: "Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on Saren's payroll. Killing the latter is business. Killing the [[TooDumbToLive former]] is a favor to the universe."
*** And when first talking to him on the Normandy: "There was this one time the turians almost wiped out our entire race. That was fun." It's the delivery that makes it hilarious.
*** Eh, let's just say [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOg-nLWe71w ANY elevator conversation with Wrex]] is worthy for the lulz.
---->'''Kaidan''': I haven't spent much time with krogan before, Wrex. I have to say, you're not what I expected.
---->'''Wrex''': Right. Because you humans have a wide range of cultures and attitudes, but krogan all think and act exactly alike.
---->'''Kaidan''': Whoa. I-I didn't mean... Look, just forget I said anything.
---->'''Wrex''': Done.
** Ashley takes the elevator ride on Therum in stride.
-->Dare you to spit over the side.
** ''All'' of Wrex's lines are pretty much made of hilarity. It's the way he delivers them. Everything is said in this completely deadpan voice where you can't quite tell if he's joking or not at first. He usually is, though--he probably does it on purpose because he thinks it's funny to watch other species squirm while they try to wriggle their way out of getting mauled by an angry krogan. It's just so funny that the oldest, grumpiest member of your squad is also the designated DeadpanSnarker.
*** Joker may be quite adept at being the DeadpanSnarker, but Wrex truly elevates this to an art form.
* If you take Wrex on the mission to save Liara, when the cave-in starts and you go up the elevator to ThatOneBoss, Wrex utters the immortal words:
-->'''Wrex''': If I die in here, I'll kill him ''[Joker]''.
* [[BizarreAlienBiology Krogan Testicles]].
-->'''Garrus''': Some Krogan believe testicle transplants will increase their virility. Counteract the effects of the Genophage. It doesn't work but that doesn't stop them from buying. They'll pay up to 10,000 credits each. That's 40,000 for a full set *{{Beat}}* Somebody's making a killing out there.
** Which gets referenced in the second game when Renegade Shepard, during Thane's loyalty mission, can threaten to cut Elias Kelham's balls off and sell them to a krogan.
* Take too long to meet Liara (meaning that you go to every other plot-centric planet first before meeting her) and she'll think that she's hallucinating when she finally meets your party. This will go on for awhile until you actually rescue her, at which point she finally realizes that you are ''not'' figments of her imagination.
* If you didn't get the codes to start the Neutron Purge while on Noveria, one of Shepard's lines is "Sic Semper *cough*", in a shout out to ''Film/ArmyOfDarkness'''s "Klaatu...Barada...*mumble*" The VI will [[{{Beat}} take a slight pause]] before denying access.
** The party responses to Mira's explanation of how dangerous the neutron purge is are also good for a laugh. Wrex argues with it, claiming it would be like a walk in the sun for a krogan (whereas Mira claims that it's lethal to ''all'' lifeforms). If Liara and Ashley or Kaidan are with you, Liara tells Shepard the importance of reading the directions on any controls s/he uses, prompting Ashley/Kaidan to [[DeadpanSnarker remark]] that it's always a good idea to {{RTFM}}, to Liara's confusion. If Tali is with you she will provide the immortal line:
--->'''Tali''': Don't press [[BigRedButton big red buttons]].
*** There is also the VI's response to Liara's saying that they shouldn't press buttons. "That is a wise precaution for every terminal in this facility."
* Speaking of ''Film/ArmyOfDarkness''...

* When playing as an [[SquishyWizard Adept]], use the Lift power to fling a charging krogan into the air. It turns out that the game incorporated Newton's first law into the game, and the krogan will float up while still moving forward, drifting over Shepard's head while flailing uselessly. The kicker? The path of the krogan's drift can end up taking him over a railing.
** A similarly hilarious result can be obtained with a combination of Lift, a sniper rifle, exploding rounds and insanely good timing. The sight of a burning krogan [[ATwinkleInTheSky hurtling off toward the horizon]] makes it all worthwhile.
** Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space, after all.
* The description of the planet Prescyla.
-->"In the recent past, a pirate band from the Terminus Systems [[DefaceOfTheMoon carved a message into the surface using ship-based laser weapons]]. In hundred-meter-wide batarian syllabic, the message proclaims the military prowess and virility of one 'Captain Zaysh'. A smaller postscript alludes to the [[HumansAreBastards questionable parentage of all humans]]."
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2SKNbkH9tI following exchange]] on Noveria:
-->'''Shepard:''' [[CorruptCorporateExecutive Anoleis]] is paying you to shake this place down. That makes you a criminal. ''I can kill criminals.''
-->'''Guard:''' You're bluffing.
-->'''Wrex:''' You're right. They're actually going to let me eat you.
-->'''Guard:''' ...How about this? You pretend you didn't see us, we'll pretend we didn't see you.
* "Yeah, well if you want me in a tinfoil mini skirt and thigh-high boots, you're gonna have to buy me dinner first."
** "Sir."
--->'''Ashley:''' Or maybe they just don't like humans.
--->'''Shepard:''' Why not? We've got [[Series/{{V}} oceans]], [[MarsNeedsWomen beautiful women]], [[WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove this emotion called love]]. According to the old vids, we have everything they want.
--->'''Kaidan:''' When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you. I mean, us! Humans! Ma'am.
--->'''Ashley:''' [[YouNeedToGetLaid You don't take much shore leave]], do you, L-T?
*** From the same exchange:
---->'''Kaidan:''' Big place!
---->'''Ashley:''' ...[[DeadpanSnarker That your professional opinion]], sir?
*** And at the end of the conversation, after Kaidan's fumble:
---->'''Ashley:''' ''I'll'' walk drag, ma'am.

* "Your grasp of the obvious is inspiring."
--> '''Ashley''': Huh. Nobody died.
--> '''Kaidan''': I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better.
--> '''Ashley''': Nah, I'm good.
* One of the best elevator conversations ever, between Wrex and Tali:
-->'''Wrex''': Who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?
-->'''Tali''': Do krogan size up everyone they meet for a fight, including friends and allies?
-->'''Wrex''': ''[[BluntYes Yes]]''.
** Wrex's tone makes him sound surprised that she even asked the question, in the "you ''don't''?" sense.
** If you have Wrex and Kaidan, the conversation ends up going something like this.
--->'''Wrex''': Who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?
--->'''Kaidan''': What? Commander Shepard is my superior officer. I can't see us ever having to fight.
--->'''Wrex''': You can't? That's why Shepard is your superior officer. And ''that's'' why... Shepard would win.
*** If one thinks about this, this also means that Wrex, one of the most badass individuals in the universe, believes Shepard could kick his butt most days since Wrex is willing to let Shepard order him around most of the time. He's not wrong. [[spoiler: [[FunnyAneurysmMoment The standoff in [=ME3=] proves that.]]]]
*** In a more lighthearted take on the above conversation, the Citadel DLC has a great CallBack to that scene, [[spoiler: seeing as how you're fighting a clone of Shepard.]]

* When you're in the Citadel:
-->'''C-Sec Guard''': That [[StarfishAliens hanar]] refuses to listen to reason, why can't it act in an orderly and lawful manner?
-->'''Shepard''':[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9GWHG_3rxc Because it's]] [[FantasticRacism a big, stupid jellyfish!]]
** That entire scene with the hanar and the turian can come across as rather funny due to the fact that the turian officer just sounds so exasperated, like he's been putting up with this kind of crap all day and just wants to go home to take a nap.
* Then there's this gem:

* Also if you keep cutting off the Council, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bbrQ5EkBz4 this]] happens.

** To female Shepard she says this:
--->'''Ashley''': Painful. I'll leave that to you.
** Kaidan's remark on that sequence to both Shepards;
--->'''Kaidan''': If I ever get a traffic ticket, I want you to be my advocate.
* If you wait until near the end of the game to go to Therum for Liara, she's been trapped in a detention field a good while, and is initially convinced that Shepard and teammates are hallucinations.
-->"Are you real? Oh, no, don't be stupid, Liara. Humans do not come here. You're hallucinating. And talking to yourself."
** And she will thereafter feel completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information everyone's throwing around and complain that [[AlreadyDoneForYou her life's work has been completed.]]
* From the rarely-seen renegade Kaidan, regarding the Council:
-->"50,000 years to figure this out and it's down to 25 mutineers. Way to go, team Milky Way."
** And Shepard's comment from the same conversation:
--->"Blind, useless fools. [[WhileRomeBurns I'd have given them fiddles, but I doubt they read history.]]"
* During a conversation with Ashley about some of her anti-alien sentiments, you can get something along the lines of the following exchange:
-->'''Ashley:''' You ask me to jump, I’ll say 'how high?' You ask me to kiss a turian, I'll say 'which cheek'?
-->'''Shepard:''' I don't think kissing turians is going to be necessary, Chief.
** Pretty standard humor for Ashley. Then cue [[HilariousInHindsight [=ME2=]'s romantic options...]]
*** This branch from the "kiss a turian" line.
---->'''Shepard:''' Will you kiss anyone I tell you to?
---->'''Ashley:''' Yes, sir. Unless you ask me to kiss a superior officer. This would violate Alliance regulations on fraternization. At which point, I would refuse your request and relieve you of your command. ...Sir.
*** FridgeBrilliance: Then Shepard wouldn't be her superior officer anymore. Let's hear it for LoopholeAbuse!
* If you bring Liara with you on Noveria, enter the Hot Labs, and ask Mira where Benezia is:
-->'''Shepard''': Is there an asari in the hot labs?
-->'''Mira''': [[ExactWords There is an asari I do not recognize standing next to you.]]
-->'''Liara''': How humans tolerate such literal-minded [=VIs=] is beyond me...

* Appointing Captain Anderson as the human representative in the Council:
-->'''Ambassador Udina:''' ''Him?'' You must be joking. Anderson prefers his fists to do the talking.
-->'''Captain Anderson:''' Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you.
** This is extra funny if you told Anderson to free the Normandy from Udina's office, where he does ''exactly that''.
* There's a hilarious bit in the Upper Markets on the Citadel. A human customer keeps attempting to make a return to a turian salesman. Their back and forth is made even funnier when another (turian) customer's return is accepted much more easily. (He ''has'' a proof of purchase, sir.)
** If you follow it to the end he finds the receipt and gets a refund with no trouble. Until it continues in the sequel, of course...
* Talking to Ashley about Eden Prime:
-->'''Shepard:''' The geth are perfect ambushers. They don't move, they don't sleep, they don't even breathe.
-->'''Ashley:''' Sir, they have flashlight heads!
* Lorik Qui'in remarking on a human turn of phrase:
-->'''Shepard''': ''(When finishing up a conversation with him)'' I should let you go.
-->'''Qui'in''': "Let me go"? Do humans consider conversation a form of imprisonment? Maybe that is why so few are willing to sit and talk.
* Ashley's ''legendary'' snark moment before you pick a second team leader on Virmire:
-->'''Ashley''': Commander, we'll need your help with setting up the nuke. I'll go with the salarians.
-->'''Kaidan''': With all due respect, gunnery chief, it's not your place to decide.
-->'''Ashley''': Why is it when someone says "WithAllDueRespect," they really mean "kiss my ass"?
** Made even better - or [[FunnyAneurysmMoment tragic]] - when Shepard subsequently says "[[CallBack with all due respect]]" to the Council during the argument that leads to the Normandy's lockdown. On a much lighter note again; Shepard seems to take Ashley's interpretation of the phrase every other times he/she says it.

* Shepard seeing [[spoiler: Species 37 a.k.a. the Thorian]] for the first time.
-->'''Shepard''': [[GonnaNeedMoreX We are gonna need bigger guns]].
** Alternatively, Shepard's weary and frustrated renegade response:
--->'''Shepard''': Nothing's ever simple is it?
** All three of the possible responses are pretty funny; the Paragon reaction is a humorously understated, "This could be... problematic."
** Garrus's reaction is ''even better''.
--->'''Garrus''': This wasn't covered in my training manuals.
** Or Tali's:
--->'''Tali:''' Now we should just be able to... to... ''[[OhMyGods Keelah]]'', what is that?!?

* Wrex and Kaidan tend to be a great combination for hilarity value. While on Noveria, when the rachni start banging around but before they're actually revealed:
-->'''Kaidan:''' What was that?!
-->'''Wrex:''' Probably debris. [[DeadpanSnarker Don't have a panic attack. I'll protect you]].
** Also occurs if you have Garrus and Wrex.
* Noveria again:

* Admiral Ahern is ''hilarious''.
--> "Commander, your ability to weigh the pros and cons of standing in the way of gunfire seems to be improving."
--> "You can add a broken record to the list of things you've ruined."
--> "Don't just stand there lookin' pretty, ''kill something''!"
--> "Sorry, Shepard, but there's no award for most times ''shot''."
--> "Wow. Shepard, the only way your team could have made better use of their unique talents is if you had gone into battle with your eyes crossed."
* Tech Officer Ochren, who runs Pinnacle Station's simulator, has got his moments too.
-->'''Ochren:''' It's a combination of holographic images and kinetic barriers. Holographic images help you see the objects, and the kinetic barriers keep you from walking through them.\\
'''Shepard:''' I assume the enemies are also holographic?\\
'''Ochren:''' [[SarcasmMode No--our operatives train in a simulator by killing real,]] ''[[SarcasmMode actual]]'' [[SarcasmMode people.]]
* When confronting a scientist who helped Saren one of the possible options is this:
-->I'm gonna blow this place to hell and gone. If you wanna to make it out alive, you better start running.
** She protests, then sees that Shepard's clearly not listening and bolts, before your allies comment on their/Shepard's enjoyment of the scene.
* On Noveria, the Renegade response to discovering the Mira VI is amusingly labeled: "Crap, it's a pop-up".
** And of course, it's in response to this: "It looks like you're trying to restore this facility. Would you like help?", referencing the [[StopHelpingMe infamous]] Clippy from older versions of Microsoft Office.
* The glee in XO Pressley's voice after you steal the Normandy.
--> "I know we'll all be court-martialed if this doesn't work out, but part of me loves this!"
* If you have a good rapport with Liara while romancing Kaidan, he may hesitate, wondering if there's "someone else you'd like to confide in". The Paragon response?
-->'''Shepard:''' All right, Alenko. Off the record, permission to speak candidly, cross my heart and hope to die. ''[[ObliviousToLove What the hell are you talking about]]''?
* After disabling the first torch in ''Bring Down the Sky'', Simon Atwell mentions that one of the other torches is surrounded by a proximity minefield. Renegade Shepard's response?
-->'''Shepard:''' Could I requisition a cow to move ahead of me?
* The Shifty Space Cow:
-->''I love the history of the Shifty Cow easter egg. When the character artists designed the space cow with two extra arms, Preston, our lead designer, was a little creeped out. His comment was "You can't trust any animal that can milk itself." Those extra little hands look so... grabby. So Preston came up with the idea of Shifty Cow. Turn your back on him, and those creepy little hands are going to go to work. Kiss those credits goodbye.''
* The dialogue and delivery by the drugged scientists during the ''UNC: Besieged Base'' side mission can be hilarious.
-->''Can you feel me growing!?'' '''I'm going to break it all!'''
* If you bring Ashley with you after landing on the freezing cold world of Noveria and talk to her outside the ship, she gives the following good advice:

* Admiral Hackett sends a Renegade Shepard to negotiate with a warlord who's trying to extort the Alliance. Shepard's reaction to getting this mission is basically, "You want ''me'', of all people, to negotiate?" Darius makes several outrageous demands, and if you balk at them, you're forced to kill him. Later, reporting to Hackett, Shepard says, "You ''wanted'' me to kill him, didn't you?" Hackett is hilariously momentarily speechless before he says that the Alliance can't sanction assassination, but since you're a Spectre, there's nothing they can do.
* Take Garrus with you when you turn in the [[spoiler:Asari Diplomacy]] Assignment.
-->'''[[spoiler:Nassana]]:''' "I am sorry I misled you. We have trust issues in our family."
-->'''Garrus:''' "[[CaptainObvious Obviously.]]"
* Take Wrex with you to Noveria.

* So you wanna get all those Paragon points for saving the Feros colonists, but you've run out of or are just too cheap to use your grenades? No problem! There's an alternative! It's called "rifle butting everyone in the face!" They'll thank you for it!