History Funny / HouseOfCardsUS

* Frank's [[RageAgainstTheHeavens rejection of Christ]], ending with him [[SpitefulSpit spitting]] at the crucifix in the National Cathedral? Not that funny. Frank realising that he just left spittle on the crucifix and trying to wipe it off? Funny. Frank accidentally knocking the crucifix over and [[CrossesTheLineTwice shattering it on the stone floor]]? Hilarious. Frank quickly pocketing one of the pieces, showing it to the camera as he walks out and saying "NOW [[ExactWords I've got God's ear]]"? ''Priceless''.

* "To president Petrov and [[TeenyWeenie his little pickle]]". Made this good by the fact that during the entire season anything could hardly wipe that smug smile off Petrov's face, but following that line [[FreudWasRight his brief expression makes clear that he's furious]].

* The final scene of Chapter 32, after Frank and Claire had a heated argument.

* After Frank whines to us about what a pain Jackie Sharp's marriage is to his plans, he starts to leave and then turns back to us. "Yes, I ''know'' the marriage was

-->'''Frank:''' (looks into camera) What are you looking at? my idea."

* "My client exercises his right to plead the fifth amendment."
* The time where Peter Russo lets his kids run around the office and one of them bumps into Frank, making him spill his coffee. To Russo's face he says it's fine but to the audience...
--> '''Frank:''' I'm not going to lie, I despise children... there, I said it.

* After Frank whines to us about what a pain Jackie Sharp's marriage is to his plans, he starts to leave and then turns back to us. "Yes, I ''know'' the marriage was my idea."

-->'''Frank:''' (to audience) He's worried about his marriage counselling, and he should be. (to president) If you're worried about your marriage counselling, you shouldn't be!
-->'''Frank:''' Every Tuesday I sit down with the speaker and the majority leader to discuss the week's agenda. Well, 'discuss' is probably the wrong word… they talk while I imagine their lightly-salted faces frying in a skillet.
** The best part is the next scene when Frank is sitting with the two men while they jabber. He simply looks at the camera, smirks, and shakes a bit of salt onto his plate.
** The final scene of Chapter 32, after Frank and Claire had a heated argument.
-->'''Frank:''' (looks into camera) What are you looking at?

** As it turns out, Bloomberg's in the middle of an interview with Charlie Rose, who Bloomberg puts on the phone:

*** That line is doubly funny because A) it's a nod to the [[Series/HouseOfCardsUK original]] ''House of Cards'' and B) the correspondents' dinner had just happened a few weeks after Thatcher died for real.

* In the first episode, Zoe is dropped off at her apartment and her date tries to invite himself up. Her declination is priceless. "Aw, Brian. That's so sweet, but if I was going to fuck you, you'd know." It sounds so sympathetic and endearing that it's like she politely turned him down for coffee rather than sex.

* "Cut my wrists with his butter knife."
* After Frank whines to us about what a pain Jackie's marriage is to his plans, he starts to leave and then turns back to us. "Yes, I ''know'' the marriage was my idea."

* "To president Petrov and his little pickle". Made this good by the fact that during the entire season anything could hardly wipe that smug smile off Petrov's face, but following that line [[FreudWasRight his brief expression makes clear that he's furious]].

* When Russo is pulled over for drunk driving in the pilot:
-->'''Pete Russo''': Look, I'm a Congressman...

-->'''Pete Russo''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint China doesn't have a King. It's a Communist]] [[{{Malaproper}} agualarchy.]]
* At the end of the first episode, everyone is reacting to the leak of the education bill with various expressions of OhCrap. Then, it cuts to Zoe Barnes, who is...[[VisualPun on the crapper.]]

** Frank goes to a church that's attended by two of his constituents who blame him in part for the death of their daughter[[labelnote:logic]]apparently, since Frank fought so hard for the creation of the Peachoid, and because the 16-year-old girl crashed her car while texting a joke about what the tower looked like, [[InsaneTrollLogic he's responsible for the girl's death]] instead of the obvious cause of texting-while-driving[[/labelnote]]. He gives an impassioned eulogy about how the untimely loss of a family member can cause a person to feel hatred, speaking about his own father dying in his 40's. He then gives an aside to us stating he barely knew his father, his mother didn't like him and his maternal grandmother hated the man. He concludes that his father's death wasn't such a big deal since he was just taking up space.
* Frank's "IOU" gaffe, or "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE7GKvXTazE Play the Vowel Game With Me]]". It's refreshing to see that even pure evil can eat it raw on cable news. It wasn't even so much the gaffe. It was the fact that it went viral on YouTube and was turned into a hilarious StupidStatementDanceMix. Essentially up till now Underwood is shown as being nigh-invincible in negotiations, improvisation, wordplay, and manipulation, so to see him completely shove his head up his ass like that is hysterical.
** Even funnier are the names of the videos in the Suggested Videos list, like "Underwood Rocks the "House" - Get it?", "Congressional [=A(E)iOUs=]," "Eh Ee Ah Oh You," "Isn't It E-ronic?", "Political Indy-pop: Starring Frank E", and "'Under' the Influence".

* Underwood's effort to pass entitlement reform in the Senate to stave off a potential government shutdown is a pageant of parliamentary absurdity: the Republicans quickly leave the Senate chamber during roll call to prevent a quorum, but this lets the Democrats vote for warrants to be issued compelling Senators to be present in the chamber. The Capitol Police eventually resort to breaking down Senate office doors, handcuffing six Republican senators, and physically carrying them into the chamber to allow a vote. The whole incident is loosely based on the "Battle of the Reed Rules" affair.

* After Walker lashes out in Chapter 20, Frank retaliates by buying him a literal punching bag and placing it in the Oval Office. Walker's expression when he sees it is priceless.

-->'''Pete Russo''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint China doesn't have a King. It's a Communist]] [[{{Malaproper}} agua-larchy.]]
* At the end of the first episode, everyone is reacting to the news story with various expressions of OhCrap. Then, it cuts to Zoe Barnes, who is...[[VisualPun on the crapper.]]
* Chapter 3's entire subplot involving the Peachoid, a real-life water tower in Frank's hometown of Gaffney, South Carolina.
** The county executives in Underwood's district debating about which piece of the female anatomy the Peachoid looks like.
** Frank goes to a church that's attended by two of his constituents who blame him in part for the death of their daughter[[labelnote:logic]]apparently, since Frank fought so hard for the creation of the Peachoid, and because the 16-year-old girl crashed her car while texting a joke about what the tower looked like, [[InsaneTrollLogic somehow he's responsible for the girl's death]] instead of the obvious cause of texting-while-driving[[/labelnote]]. He gives an impassioned eulogy about how the untimely loss of a family member can cause a person to feel hatred, speaking about his own father dying in his 40's. He then gives an aside to us stating he barely knew his father, his mother didn't like him and his maternal grandmother hated the man. He concludes that his father's death wasn't such a big deal since he was just taking up space.

* The time where Peter Russo lets his kids run around the office and one of them bumps into Frank making him spill his coffee. To Russo's face he says it's fine but to the audience...

** [[ArsonMurderandJaywalking As if that's the worst thing he's said on this show.]]

* After Walker lashes out at Episode 7, Frank retaliates by buying him a literal punching bag and placing it in the Oval Office. Walker's expression when he sees it is priceless.

* Frank's "IOU" gaffe, or "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE7GKvXTazE Play the Vowel Game With Me]]". It's refreshing to see that even pure evil can eat it raw on cable news. It wasn't even so much the gaffe. It was the fact that it went viral on YouTube and was turned into a hilarious StupidStatementDanceMi. Essentially up till now Underwood is shown as being nigh-invincible in negotiations, improvisation, wordplay, and manipulation, so to see him completely shove his head up his ass like that is hysterical.

** Frank goes to a church that's attended by two of his constituents who blame him in part for the death of their daughter (apparently, since Frank fought so hard for the creation of the Peachoid, and because the 16-year-old girl crashed her car while texting a joke about what the tower looked like, [[InsaneTrollLogic somehow he's responsible for the girl's death]] instead of the obvious cause of texting-while-driving). He gives an impassioned eulogy about how the untimely loss of a family member can cause a person to feel hatred, speaking about his own father dying in his 40's. He then gives an aside to us stating he barely knew his father, his mother didn't like him and his maternal grandmother hated the man. He concludes that his father's death wasn't such a big deal since he was just taking up space.
* Frank's "IOU" gaffe. It's refreshing to see that even pure evil can eat it raw on cable news. It wasn't even so much the gaffe. It was the fact that it went viral on [=Youtube=] and was turned into a hilarious StupidStatementDanceMix Essentially up till now Underwood is shown as being nigh-invincible in negotiations, improvisation, wordplay, and manipulation, so to see him completely shove his head up his ass like that is hysterical.

* The time where Peter Russo let's his kids run around the office and one of them bumps into Frank making him spill his coffee. To Russo's face he says it's fine but to the audience...

* The county executives in Underwood's district debating about which piece of the female anatomy the Peachoid looks like.
* Frank goes to a church that's attended by two of his constituents who blame him in part for the death of their daughter. He gives an impassioned eulogy about how the untimely loss of a family member can cause a person to feel hatred, speaking about his own father dying in his 40's. He then gives an aside stating he barely knew his father, his mother didn't like him and his mother's mother hated the man. He concludes that his father's death wasn't such a big deal since he was just taking up space.

-->'''Russo''': Look, I'm a Congressman...

-->'''Russo''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint China doesn't have a King. It's a Communist]] [[{{Malaproper}} agua-larchy.]]

--->'''Frank Underwood:''' Well I'm already booked on ''TheTodayShow'' but Doug will be in touch.

* At the end of the first episode, everyone is reacting to the news story with various expressions of OhCrap. Then, it cuts to Zoe, who is...[[VisualPun on the crapper.]]

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCzI521sgqE The spoof "House of Nerds"]] for the 2013 White House Correspondents' dinner.

* The county executives in Underwood's district debating about which piece of the female anatomy the Peachoid looks like.
* Frank goes to a church that's attended by two of his constituents who blame him in part for the death of their daughter. He gives an impassioned eulogy about how the untimely loss of a family member can cause a person to feel hatred, speaking about his own father dying in his 40's. He then gives an aside stating he barely knew his father, his mother didn't like him and his mother's mother hated the man. He concludes that his father's death wasn't such a big deal since he was just taking up space.
* Frank's "IOU" gaffe. It's refreshing to see that even pure evil can eat it raw on cable news. It wasn't even so much the gaffe. It was the fact that it went viral on [=Youtube=] and was turned into a hilarious StupidStatementDanceMix Essentially up till now Underwood is shown as being nigh-invincible in negotiations, improvisation, wordplay, and manipulation, so to see him completely shove his head up his ass like that is hysterical.
* Russo goes to say good-bye to his hospitalized mother and brings Christina with him. After he talks to her a bit she suddenly looks at Christina and says "so, you're fucking my son?" A good two seconds of awkward silence comes, followed by "relax, I'm just messing with you."
* "My client exercises his right to plead the fifth amendment."
* The time where Peter Russo let's his kids run around the office and one of them bumps into Frank making him spill his coffee. To Russo's face he says it's fine but to the audience...
--> '''Frank:''' I'm not going to lie, I despise children... there, I said it.
** [[ArsonMurderandJaywalking As if that's the worst thing he's said on this show.]]
* Underwood's effort to pass entitlement reform in the Senate to stave off a potential government shutdown is a pageant of parliamentary absurdity: the Republicans quickly leave the Senate chamber during roll call to prevent a quorum, but this lets the Democrats vote for warrants to be issued compelling Senators to be present in the chamber. The Capitol Police eventually resort to breaking down Senate office doors, handcuffing six Republican senators, and physically carrying them into the chamber to allow a vote. The whole incident is loosely based on the "Battle of the Reed Rules" affair.

* Frank is practicing in anticipation of throwing the first pitch at a baseball game. His story of how the first time he threw the first pitch he did it from the mound and the ball didn't make it is funny in and of itself. However, while practicing (with Meechum as catcher) and vowing to not embarrass himself this time, he breaks a garden vase they were using as the plate. After the plant holder shatters:
--> '''Frank:''' (to Meechum) Don't tell Claire.
--> '''Claire:''' (from inside the house) I heard that.
* Frank is watching porn with headphones on, then Ed Meechum walks in. Frank doesn't lose his cool for a second.
* After Claire screws over the Watershed Bill, Frank brings up something you ''never'' ask a Woman of a Certain Age: "Is it the hot flashes?"

* Stephen Colbert's cameo, ruthlessly taking one potshot after another at Frank right to his face as he just has to sit there and take it.

* Frank's [[RageAgainstTheHeavens rejection of Christ]], ending with him [[SpitefulSpit spitting]] at the crucifix in the National Cathedral? Not that funny. Frank realising that he just left spittle on the crucifix and trying to wipe it off? Funny. Frank accidentally knocking the crucifix over and [[CrossesTheLineTwice shattering it on the stone floor]]? Hilarious. Frank quickly pocketing one of the pieces, showing it to the camera as he walks out and saying "NOW [[ExactWords I've got God's ear]]"? ''Priceless''.
* Frank's BreakingTheFourthWall speech comes to scrutiny in Season 3, when an Alzheimer-ridden judge seems to hear it.
* FEMA made a Twitter post protesting that the manipulation of their funds seen in Season 3 could never actually happen. Then they had to apologize for spoiling the show.
* "To president Petrov and his little pickle". Made this good by the fact that during the entire season anything could hardly wipe that smug smile off Petrov's face, but following that line [[FreudWasRight his brief expression makes clear that he's furious]].

* Frank's [[spoiler: [[RageAgainstTheHeavens rejection of Christ]], ending with him [[SpitefulSpit spitting]] at the crucifix in the National Cathedral? Not that funny. Frank realising that he just left spittle on the crucifix and trying to wipe it off? Funny. Frank accidentally knocking the crucifix over and [[CrossesTheLineTwice shattering it on the stone floor]]? Hilarious. Frank quickly pocketing one of the pieces, showing it to the camera as he walks out and saying "NOW [[ExactWords I've got God's ear]]"? ''Priceless''.]]

* In the first episode, Zoe is dropped off at her apartment and her date tries to invite himself up. Her declination is priceless. "Aw, Brian. If I was going to fuck you, you'd know." It sounds so sympathetic and endearing that it's like she politely turned him down for coffee rather than sex.