History Funny / Fallout3

** And he ended up amputating the ''wrong'' leg!

* During Operation: Anchorage, if you talk about the simulation after Vault 112, you have the option of say "Oh, great. Let me guess, more psychotic little girls..." To which Protector [=McGraw=] will respond with "Umm.... Noooo...." He then continues explaining the simulation as though you hadn't said that.

-->Lone Wanderer: "Where do I go from here?"\\
Dad: "I can't really say, since I don't know where you are."\\
Lone Wanderer: "Where am I?"\\
Dad: "You're in the security level."

--> '''Charon''': Ahzrukhal. I've been told I'm no longer in your service.
--> '''Ahzrukhal''': That's right Charon, have you come to say goodbye?
--> '''Charon''': Yes.
--> ''BoomHeadshot''
--> '''Charon''': Alright, let's go.

--> He keeps hackin' and whackin' and smackin'!
--> He keeps hackin' and whackin' and smackin'!
---> '''-Roy Brown''', "Butcher Pete (Part 1)"

--->Ask granny for a [[MoreDakka minigun]]. [[RefugeInAudacity After all, you don't want to miss.]]\\

*** [[TheSmartGuy Smart]]: [[ScienceHero An educated and intelligent view]], albeit prone to SesquipedalianLoquaciousness, and can even come off as a downright KnowNothingKnowItAll if the player had a CriticalResearchFailure in-universe. This naturally leads to a boost in Science and Medicine.

* If you use console commands at the very beginning of the game to simply unlock the door to your room during the sequence where you're a baby, you'll find out you can access the normal Vault map as in a state of emergency in "Escape!" And (with a few more unlock commands on doors) you can walk right out of the Vault and begin the game as normal, though unable to access the Pip-Boy and thus equip or use items, or to even raise your fists so you can't fight at all. Aside from the hilarity of walking around taking items and talking to people as a baby, you can sit on a chair for temporary third-person view, revealing what you look like as a baby. A scaled-down model of your grown-up character, complete with Pip-Boy and underclothes.

** One hilarious bit of BlackComedy comes from a woman detained on her way meet a friend, who remains cheerfully oblivious to the aliens' intentions to probe or dissect her, and signs off happily saying they're about to show her something.

--> '''Ahzrukhal''': That's right Charon, have you come to say goodybye?

* Missing all 95% shots in [=V.A.T.S.=] because the enemy managed to slip behind an obstacle at the right time? Frustrating. Seeing the Mysterious Stranger immediately bust a cap in them afterwards? Hysterical.

** All of the answers to the last question are "The Overseer". The funny part is that if you talk to some of the classmates after the exam, they're somehow stuck on this question.

** Once you're done with the test, you can actually stay in the classroom and overhear what the other classmates got as results. [[TheBully Butch DeLoria]] is a hairdresser. One of his lackeys (Paul) is to be an Engineer. Wally says he doesn't need to hear his result since it was easy to crack that "joke of a test" (and Mr. Brotch laments that he didn't think of that when he was 16). A girl got stuck in the Maintenance department when she wanted the Science one. The best one has to be Freddy Gomez, since [[EpicFail he gets stuck in the last question (the one where all answers are the same)]]. Mr Brotch's reactions are great.

* In Megaton Jericho will tell the Lone Wanderer he hates "Vault/Wasteland Assholes" (depending ok the clothes they're wearing) and doesn't want to talk much. When ending the conversation however he will say, "Come back if you need something" as if he was programmed at that point to talk like the few other friendly people in Megaton.

** Of course, having access to the console commands on the PC version opens up a wealth of possibilities...like, say, equipping the experimental MIRV, turning on god mode, and firing into Tenpenny point blank. When the screen finally cleared Mr. Tenpenny simply wasn't there anymore.

** The mole rat parts gets funnier when in ''New Vegas'' you run into a mole rat farm and one being kept as Sloan's town pet (fangs and all).
** Doing research for Moira just hands you chances to be a DeadpanSnarker. When she asks you what it feels like to have extreme radiation poisoning, one of the possible responses is along the lines of "Too...sick...to be...snide...". When she's writing up the "research" on you being injured (and optionally having a crippled limb), she asks you to ''describe the pain and how to block it out'', giving you the option of using this gem:

--->'''Lone Wanderer''': The only thing that makes this pain bearable is the idea of inflicting it on people like you.\\

---> '''Lone Wanderer''': I know I'm gonna hate myself for this, but what about injuries?