History Funny / CarryOnHenry

-->'''Cardinal Wolsey''': "An old" what, Sire?

-->'''Queen Marie''': You're a cunning old [[PrecisionFStrike bastard]].

-->'''Henry VIII''': This is no time to start getting suggestive Sir Roger.

-->'''Cromwell''': Didn't I go 'round every one of them and say "[[IncrediblyLamePun How d'you like yer stake]]"?

-->'''Cromwell''': Oh, I'll read it to you. It's just a simple little confession... "''[[MotorMouth In as much as I, Roger de Lodgerley, of Bedside Manor, Wilts - hereinafter referred to as the party of the first part - did unlawfully,]] [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness with malice aforethought]] and without taking due precaution, on the night of October 4th last, admire, [[ShapedLikeItself covet, blandish, cosset, seduce]],'' [[LaymansTerms and otherwise, "get at"]] ''Marie, spouse to Henry Tudor - hereinafter referred to as the party of the second part - I do now hereby solemnly declare, and in witness thereof I append my signature below, that the [[WhosYourDaddy resulting issue]] - hereinafter referred to as the party of the third part - is the direct consequence of the joining together of the part of the first part's and the party of the second part's parts''".

--->'''Henry VIII''': Oh, call me 'enry.
--->'''Buxom Lass''': "'enry", eh? [[RightInFrontOfMe Same as that miserable sot who rules us]].

-->'''Cromwell''': Oh, I'll read it to you. It's just a simple little confession... ''"[[MotorMouth In as much as I, Roger de Lodgerley, of Bedside Manor, Wilts - hereinafter referred to as the party of the first part - did unlawfully,]] [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness with malice aforethought]] and without taking due precaution, on the night of October 4th last, admire, [[ShapedLikeItself covet, blandish, cosset, seduce]],'' [[LaymansTerms and otherwise, "get at"]] ''Marie, spouse to Henry Tudor - hereinafter referred to as the party of the second part - [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness I do now hereby solemnly declare, and in witness thereof I append my signature below]], that the [[WhosYourDaddy resulting issue]] - [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness hereinafter referred to as the party of the third part]] - is the [[ImAManICantHelpIt direct consequence]] of the joining together of the part of the first part's and the party of the second part's [[UnusualEuphemism parts]]"''.

* Sir Roger hiding on top of the Royal couple's four-poster bed, and launching a ladder to the ground when Queen Marie frets over Henry VIII's disappearance. Followed by a smug smile and a wink.
* Henry VIII leaves for hunting:

* "Ah yes, [[PunnyName Mistress]] [[SlutShaming Scrubb]]".

* "You have my hand on it", followed by said hand ''coming off''. Cue an AsideGlance.

-->'''Thomas Cromwell:''' Of course I was nice to them! Didn't you see me go around to each and every one of them and say "[[IncrediblyLamePun How d'you like your steak?]]"?
-->'''Cardinal Wolsey:''' [[JerkassHasAPoint That's right. He did, you know.]]
* "Oh, yes, [[PunnyName Mistress]] [[SlutShaming Scrubb]]!".

-->'''Henry VIII''': Oh, call me 'enry.
-->'''Buxom Lass''': "'enry", eh? [[RightInFrontOfMe Same as that miserable sot who rules us]].
-->'''Henry VIII''': "Miserable" what?
-->'''Buxom Lass''': "Sot".
-->'''Henry VIII''': Oh, "sot". Oh, he's quite a nice fella really.

* Sir Roger hiding on top of the Royal couple's four-poster bed, and launching a ladder to the ground when the Queen frets over Henry VIII's disappearance. Followed by a smug smile and a wink.

* Queen Marie's annoyed comment over [[KarmaHoudini Henry]]'s actions.