History Funny / BostonPublic

** It's topped off with Steven's reaction to the whole farce. First, [[WhatTheHellHero he kvetches at Marla for starting the fight]], then at Danny for [[WouldHitAGirl punching for a woman]] (to which Danny replies "Not for nothing, but Title IX says we can hit 'em now!"), THEN he lets loose with a '''[[ChewingTheScenery marvelous]]''' tirade about how teachers are supposed to be role models even when it would be nice to respond violently to disrespect. Steven ends it by yelling at Danny and Marla to {{get out}}, which they promptly do.

-->'''Harry''': Anyone, I suppose, could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly--shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia--all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the Outback. They get about...fifteen gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands. And for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten-day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing, the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. This is America. Get a gun!
** How is this funny? A student came to him asking for help doing something he cares deeply about and instead of a mature response about how he disagrees, he goes on a StrawmanPolitical rant embarrassing the poor boy and making himself look like a JerkAss.

** How is this funny? A student came to him asking for help doing something cares deeply about and instead of a mature response about how he disagrees, he goes on a StrawmanPolitical rant embarrassing the poor boy and making himself look like a JerkAss.

** How is this funny? A student came to him asking for help doing he cares about and instead of a mature response about how he disagrees, he goes on a StrawmanPolitical rant embarrassing the poor boy and making himself look like a JerkAss.

** How is this funny? A student came to him asking for help doing he cares about and instead of a mature response about how he disagrees, he goes on a StrawmanPolitical rant embarrassing the poor boy and making himself look like a Jerkass.

** Steven's response to a student's mother (who, in the previous episode, had complained about poisonous fumes on school buses and pointed out that he hadn't really experienced knowing any of the "good" students at Winslow) complaining to him about saying "hi" to her daughter and telling her "Don't do drugs":
--->'''Steven''': Hey, I went up to your damn daughter, in part because you accused me of not knowing any of the good kids. [...] Yes, if the consequences are for me to put up with arrogant, indignant mothers who come up with any excuse to come and pick fights with people under the guise of being a concerned parent! Maybe you're the one who's been sniffing bus fumes yourself!
*** Even better, [[HypocriticalHumor this comes after Steven counsels Guber about being more polite and gracious to people]]. And after the mother storms out and Guber gives Steven a questioning glance, Steven snaps "Don't even say it, Scott."

* In "Chapter Sixteen," a student steals footage of girls and Lauren showering in the locker room, and Guber confronts and upbraids the student [[BringMyBrownPants who ends up peeing on himself]].
* In "Chapter Seventeen," after footage of Lauren showering is posted on Sheryl Holt's website, Guber suspends the student who originally had the footage, leading to this:
-->'''Student''': Look, please! If I get suspended, my parents will kill me!

** Also, Steven and Harry go to check on a teacher believed to have died. They find the man unconscious in a chair and assume the worst...only for the guy to wake up and ask what they want. Both Steven and Harry yell out in fright, but while Harry steps back, Steven remains right where he is and asks the other man, in a fit of exasperation, if he's okay.

* In "Chapter Five," Harry snarks at Marla, who responds thusly:
-->'''Marla''': I have four cheeks, Harry. Pick one and bite it.

--->'''Jamaal''': (''smirks'') Not a teacher.

* Harvey's RousingSpeech to his female students about wearing a bra for the good of the country.
-->'''Harvey''': All through history, when men look at women, they want to have sex. Now, {{God}} did this on purpose to ensure the survival of the human species. And he also gave women lumps, known as "breasts," to inspire in man the penile urge to procreate. Now, this was very good for mankind, but not for womankind. Now, how could she succeed in this world, and how could she be respected for all her values, when men just want to mount her? Research eventually showed that it was those dangling, bouncing breasts that cause special excitement to the man's blood flow. It was determined that the brassiere could stop this dangling, bouncing motion. The man would be less likely to objectify the woman and she would have a fighting chance at equality. You must harness your bosoms in order to squash the discrimination by the male gonads. This country can never maximize its potential until you can achieve equality. That's why I must make a rule, right here and right now: wear a bra, for the good of the country.

--->'''Harry''': I can never do anything right.
* In the third episode, Harvey gives yet another RousingSpeech, this time to the football players about their teammate whom they suspect is gay.

* In "Chapter Four," Harry convinces Juan, a truant student, to come back to school by allowing him to teach in the Dungeon for a day. What topic does Juan decide to teach? "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Pre. Mature. Ejacu. Lation.]]" Harry is not pleased; he even gives Juan a DopeSlap.

* In "Chapter Seven," Harry is approached by a student to sponsor a student branch of the National Rifle Association and he agrees to give a speech for an NRA representative. However, his speech turns out to be so full of delicious snark that the representative storms out of the meeting.

* In "Chapter Sixteen," a student steals footage of girls and Lauren showering in the locker room, and Guber confronts the student [[BringMyBrownPants who ends up peeing on himself]].

-->'''Steven''': Scott, I've told you. I like basketball. I don't really follow hockey.

* In one episode, Harry convinces one of his truant students to come back to school by allowing him to teach in the Dungeon for a day. What topic does the student decide to teach? "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Pre. Mature. Ejacu. Lation.]]" Harry is not pleased; he even gives the student a DopeSlap.
* The episode with Verne Troyer. Guber, who spends most of the episode trying to figure out how underachieving students are suddenly passing tests, is suddenly hit with a realization, rushes out of his office, and heads to a student's locker, all while the [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Munchkin Song]] plays. Said song reaches its highest point as Guber opens the locker to find Troyer's character. The look on Guber's face is absolutely hilarious.
** Before that moment, Guber disguises himself a rabbi in order to spy on one of the students. He turns around to spot Steven standing there, looking at him.

--->(''Steven just rolls his eyes and walks off. Danny comes around the corner and pats Scott on the shoulder.'')

--->(''Scott looks disappointed his disguise isn't working.'')

--->'''Harry''': Not a teacher. You know, as a teacher, it would be inappropriate for me to tell you that you're a total screw-up. So what I want you to do is go home and ask your father, as a favor to me, to tell you that you're a total screw-up.

-->'''Guber''': What's going on?
-->'''Harry''': Lipschitz told the female students to wear bras for the good of the country. Turns out they're all a bunch of Communist sluts.
-->'''Guber''': You think this is funny, Mr. Senate?
-->'''Harry''': I can never do anything right.

-->Welcome the gay linebacker into your shower!
* In one episode, Harry convinces one of his truant students to come back to school by allowing him to teach in the Dungeon for a day. What topic does the student decide to teach? "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Pre. Mature. Ejacu. Lation.]]" Harry is not pleased.

-->'''Guber''': I'm undercover!
-->'''Steven''': I can see that.
-->'''Guber''': This is a very delicate operation. Go away. I'll explain later.
-->(''Steven just rolls his eyes and walks off. Danny comes around the corner and pats Scott on the shoulder.'')
-->'''Guber''': How's it hanging, Scott?
-->(''Scott looks disappointed his disguise isn't working.'')

-->'''Marla''': Well, maybe if it was someone dressed as you dressed as a silly old rabbi, but everybody's laughing, Scott!

-->'''Guber''': The little man's been spotted on school grounds. I've put out an all-points bulletin.
-->'''Steven''': How'd he get past security?
-->'''Guber''': Went right under them!

-->)''Scott looks disappointed his disguise isn't working.'')

* Harvey's speech to his female students about wearing a bra for the good of the country.

* In the third episode, Harvey gives a speech to the football players about their teammate whom they suspect is gay.

* In one episode, Harry convinces one of his students to come back to school by allowing him to teach for a day. What topic does the student decide to teach? "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Pre. Mature. Ejacu. Lation.]]" Harry is not pleased.
* The episode with Verne Troyer. Guber is trying to figure out how underachieving students are suddenly passing tests, he's suddenly hit with a realization, rushes out of his office, and heads to a student's locker, all while the Munchkin Song plays. Said song reaches its highest point as Guber opens the locker to find Troyer's character. The look on Guber's face is absolutely hilarious.
** Marla then confronts the little man, who proceeds to stomp on her foot. Guber has to restrain Marla while Steven does likewise with the little man.
** Harvey comes into Guber's office to complain about something when he looks, spots the little man (who had been talking to Guber moments earlier), and jumps in surprise. Harvey and the dwarf take a moment to size each other up before Harvey points at the little man and utters to Guber, "It's a trick."

* The episode with Verne Troyer. Guber is trying to figure out how underachieving students are suddenly passing tests, he has his EurekaMoment, rushes out of his office, and heads to a student's locker, all while the Munchkin Song plays. Said song reaches its highest point as Guber opens the locker to find Troyer's character. The look on Guber's face is absolutely hilarious.