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Added DiffLines:

* Right after Sam Kinison does his trademark screaming, all of the extras behind Dangerfield are trying (with varying degrees of success) to avoid {{Corpsing}}. Before that, if you look at the back while Professor Terguson is ranting at the student, Dangerfield is having to cover his mouth to avoid corpsing as well.


* Thornton hires KurtVonnegut to write his paper on Vonnegut... and the paper gets an F. Also notable for an Offscreen Moment of Funny: "Fuck me? Well, fuck you!" That's right, Kurt Vonnegut dropped an F-bomb on Thornton over the phone, and it's a shame the audience never gets to hear it.

to:

* Thornton hires KurtVonnegut Creator/KurtVonnegut to write his paper on Vonnegut... and the paper gets an F. Also notable for an Offscreen Moment of Funny: "Fuck me? Well, fuck you!" That's right, Kurt Vonnegut dropped an F-bomb on Thornton over the phone, and it's a shame the audience never gets to hear it.


* [[ShowerOfAwkward "You're '''perfect!'''"]]

to:

* [[ShowerOfAwkward "You're '''perfect!'''"]]"You're]] '''[[ShowerOfAwkward perfect!]]'''"


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* The ThrowItIn moment with Jason cracking up at his dad's secretary. Keith Gordon's {{Corpsing}} isn't just him suppressing a few giggles, no; he's barely hiding the fact that he's practically in ''tears'' from laughing so hard.

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* At swim class, Jason does a nice flip into a dive, which gets no reaction from anybody. Soon after, Thornton does a simple front flip into a pencil dive; when he surfaces, ''everyone'' is applauding and cheering. DudeWheresMyRespect indeed.


* "You're '''perfect!'''"

to:

* [[ShowerOfAwkward "You're '''perfect!'''"'''perfect!'''"]]


'''Melon''': Hold it, hold it. Why build? You're better off leasing at a buck and a quarter, a buck and a half a square foot. Take your down payment and put it into CDs, or something else you can roll over every couple of months.\\

to:

'''Melon''': Hold it, hold it. Why build? You're better off leasing at a buck and a quarter, a buck and a half a square foot. Take your down payment and put it into CDs, [=CDs=], or something else you can roll over every couple of months.\\

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* Thornton walking through the college campus wearing a bathrobe.
--> '''Jason''': They have lockers, you could've changed here.\\
'''Thornton''': I don't change in front of guys. I mean, the next thing you know, you're showering with the fellas. And the next thing you know, you're pinned to a sophomore named Chip.

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* "I never get physical; I get upset. And when I get upset... ''(indicates Lou)'' ''He'' gets physical." ''(Lou turns to the jocks and crushes a metal napkin holder with his hand)''
* The fake-out where it looks like Thornton is receiving oral sex from Diane, but the camera pulls back to reveal he's just getting a leg massage in his dorm room.


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** ''(pouring champagne)'' Babe: "Say when..." Thornton: "Right after this drink!"


* The entire dinner party sequence, early in the film.
** In particular, when Thornton's wife introduces him to a couple friends; Thornton is busy eating a sandwich, but reluctantly agrees to shake their hands. But not before spitting out some food onto the hand he's shaking them with first.

to:

* The entire dinner party sequence, early Everybody gets at least one. Unlike many modern comedians, Dangerfield was more than willing to let other people be funny in the film.
** In particular, when Thornton's wife introduces him to a couple friends; Thornton is busy eating a sandwich, but reluctantly agrees to shake their hands. But not before spitting out some food onto the hand he's shaking them with first.
his movies.



'''Thornton''' (shaking his head): [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I gotta hire bigger actors...]]
* Everybody gets at least one. Unlike many modern comedians, Dangerfield was more than willing to let other people be funny in his movies.

to:

'''Thornton''' (shaking his head): [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I gotta hire bigger actors...]]
]]
* Everybody gets at least one. Unlike many modern comedians, Dangerfield was more than willing The entire dinner party sequence, early in the film.
** In particular, when Thornton's wife introduces him
to let other people be funny in his movies.a couple friends; Thornton is busy eating a sandwich, but reluctantly agrees to shake their hands. But not before spitting out some food onto the hand he's shaking them with first.

Added DiffLines:

** In particular, when Thornton's wife introduces him to a couple friends; Thornton is busy eating a sandwich, but reluctantly agrees to shake their hands. But not before spitting out some food onto the hand he's shaking them with first.


* "I know you! You're that guy from those obnoxious commercials! [=You're 'Tall & Fat'!=]" "[=Oh, yeah? Well, you're short and ugly. Gimme back that pen!=]"



* Everybody gets at least one. Unlike many modern comedians, Dangerfield was more than willing to let other people be funny in his movies

to:

* Everybody gets at least one. Unlike many modern comedians, Dangerfield was more than willing to let other people be funny in his moviesmovies.



* Thornton hires KurtVonnegut to write his paper on Vonnegut... and the paper gets an F. Also notable for an Offscreen Moment of Funny: "Fuck me? Well, fuck you!" That's right, Kurt Vonnegut dropped an F-bomb on Thornton over the phone, and it's a shame the audience never gets to hear it.
* When Chas fakes a cramp in the climax:
--> '''Chas''': (to coach) I have got a really bad cramp. I've been having bad cramps all week.\\
'''Jason''': It's probably menstrual.\\
'''Chas''': Screw you, Melon!
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class,]] when Terguson (Sam Kinison) chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:
--> '''Thornton''': Hey professor, take it easy, these kids, they were in grade school at the time! And me, heh, I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover!\\
'''Terguson''': Weeeeell, I didn't know you wanted to join the discussion, Mr. Helper! But since you want to help, maybe you can help me. You remember that thing we had about thirty years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China? (rips a desk out) Then take the fucking wall apart brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? SAY IT! SAY IT!\\
'''Thornton''': All right. I'll say it. 'Cause [[UsefulNotes/HarryTruman Truman]] was too much of a ''pussy wimp'' to let [[UsefulNotes/DouglasMacArthur MacArthur]] go in there and blow out those Commie bastards!\\
'''Terguson''': (creepy smile) Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.\\
'''Thornton''': (chuckles) Good teacher. He really seems to care. About ''what'', I have ''no'' idea.
* "Why don't you call me some time when you have no class?"
* "What's a bath without bubbles? Hey Bubbles, get over here!"

to:

* When Thornton hires KurtVonnegut to write his paper on Vonnegut... and the paper gets an F. Also notable for an Offscreen Moment of Funny: "Fuck me? Well, fuck you!" That's right, Kurt Vonnegut dropped an F-bomb on first meets with Dean Martin, Thornton over has his feet on the phone, and it's a shame chair next to him. Martin asks him, "Comfy?" Thornton then moves his feet from the audience never gets chair to hear it.
Martin's desk.
* When Chas fakes a cramp in the climax:
--> '''Chas''': (to coach) I have got a really bad cramp. I've been having bad cramps all week.\\
'''Jason''': It's probably menstrual.\\
'''Chas''': Screw you, Melon!
Thornton: "I hereby dedicate this building to... myself!" (shovels dirt into Barbay's nearby car)
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class,]] when Terguson (Sam Kinison) chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:
--> '''Thornton''': Hey professor, take it easy, these kids, they were in grade school at the time! And me, heh, I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover!\\
'''Terguson''': Weeeeell, I didn't know you wanted to join the discussion, Mr. Helper! But since you want to help, maybe you can help me. You remember that thing we had about thirty years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back
Thornton, to the Great Wall of China? (rips a desk out) Then take the fucking wall apart brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? SAY IT! SAY IT!\\
'''Thornton''': All right. I'll say it. 'Cause [[UsefulNotes/HarryTruman Truman]] was too much of a ''pussy wimp'' to let [[UsefulNotes/DouglasMacArthur MacArthur]] go in there and blow out those Commie bastards!\\
'''Terguson''': (creepy smile) Good answer. Good answer. I
college store clerk: "[[Theatre/TheTamingOfTheShrew I'd like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.\\
'''Thornton''': (chuckles) Good teacher. He really seems
to care. About ''what'', I have ''no'' idea.
* "Why don't you call me some time when you have no class?"
* "What's a bath without bubbles? Hey Bubbles, get over here!"
tame YOUR shrew]]!"



* When Thornton first meets with Dean Martin, Thornton has his feet on the chair next to him. Martin asks him, "Comfy?" Thornton then moves his feet from the chair to Martin's desk.
* Thornton: "I hereby dedicate this building to... myself!" (shovels dirt into Barbay's nearby car)

to:

* When [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class,]] when Terguson (Sam Kinison) chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:
--> '''Thornton''': Hey professor, take it easy, these kids, they were in grade school at the time! And me, heh, I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover!\\
'''Terguson''': Weeeeell, I didn't know you wanted to join the discussion, Mr. Helper! But since you want to help, maybe you can help me. You remember that thing we had about thirty years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China? (rips a desk out) Then take the fucking wall apart brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? SAY IT! SAY IT!\\
'''Thornton''': All right. I'll say it. 'Cause [[UsefulNotes/HarryTruman Truman]] was too much of a ''pussy wimp'' to let [[UsefulNotes/DouglasMacArthur MacArthur]] go in there and blow out those Commie bastards!\\
'''Terguson''': (creepy smile) Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you.\\
'''Thornton''': (chuckles) Good teacher. He really seems to care. About ''what'', I have ''no'' idea.
* "I know you! You're that guy from those obnoxious commercials! [=You're 'Tall & Fat'!=]" "[=Oh, yeah? Well, you're short and ugly. Gimme back that pen!=]"
* "Why don't you call me some time when you have no class?"
*
Thornton first meets with Dean Martin, hires KurtVonnegut to write his paper on Vonnegut... and the paper gets an F. Also notable for an Offscreen Moment of Funny: "Fuck me? Well, fuck you!" That's right, Kurt Vonnegut dropped an F-bomb on Thornton has his feet on over the chair next to him. Martin asks him, "Comfy?" Thornton then moves his feet from phone, and it's a shame the chair audience never gets to Martin's desk.
* Thornton: "I hereby dedicate this building to... myself!" (shovels dirt into Barbay's nearby car)
hear it.



* "What's a bath without bubbles? Hey Bubbles, get over here!"
* "Is the work you turned in your own?" "...I can't lie to you, Dean Martin. ({{Beat}}) ...[[BlatantLies Yes it is."]]



** When it comes time for Diane's test, Thornton is ready to throw in the towel: "Hold it, that's it. I can't take it no more. I feel like I just gave birth... to an accountant!"

to:

** When it comes time for Diane's test, Thornton is ready to throw in the towel: "Hold it, that's it. I can't take it no more. I feel like I just gave birth... to an accountant!"accountant!"
* When Chas fakes a cramp in the climax:
--> '''Chas''': (to coach) I have got a really bad cramp. I've been having bad cramps all week.\\
'''Jason''': It's probably menstrual.\\
'''Chas''': Screw you, Melon!


'''Barbay''': Discuss the foundations of modern global business systems. Part one: Define and
differentiate the three economic philosophies of capitalism, socialism, and communism, as pertains to: A) Management fundamentals; B) organizing and staffing; C) labor management; and D) production and operations. ''(flips to next notecard)'' Part ''two''... Are you getting all this, Mr. Melon?\\

to:

'''Barbay''': Discuss the foundations of modern global business systems. Part one: Define and
and differentiate the three economic philosophies of capitalism, socialism, and communism, as pertains to: A) Management fundamentals; B) organizing and staffing; C) labor management; and D) production and operations. ''(flips to next notecard)'' Part ''two''... Are you getting all this, Mr. Melon?\\


'''Thornton''' (shaking his head): [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I gotta hire bigger actors...]]
* The OneSceneWonder moment of Creator/SamKinison going nuclear as a whacked-out history professor, forcing Rodney to get as berserk as he is just to get out of the room ''alive''.
--->'''Thornton:''' Good teacher. He really seems to care. '''''About what I have no idea.'''''

to:

'''Thornton''' (shaking his head): [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I gotta hire bigger actors...]]
* The OneSceneWonder moment of Creator/SamKinison going nuclear as a whacked-out history professor, forcing Rodney to get as berserk as he is just to get out of the room ''alive''.
--->'''Thornton:''' Good teacher. He really seems to care. '''''About what I have no idea.'''''
]]



'''Jason''': Maybe it's menstrual.\\

to:

'''Jason''': Maybe it's It's probably menstrual.\\



* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class,]] when Terguson chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class,]] when Terguson (Sam Kinison) chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:



(class laughs)

to:

(class laughs)laughs)
* When Thornton first meets with Dean Martin, Thornton has his feet on the chair next to him. Martin asks him, "Comfy?" Thornton then moves his feet from the chair to Martin's desk.
* Thornton: "I hereby dedicate this building to... myself!" (shovels dirt into Barbay's nearby car)
* Outside the dorms, Barbay is appalled at the midterms party, and a college guy (who's very drunk) approaches him:
--> '''Guy''': ''(slurring)'' The Melon man is throwing the greatest party of all time! The whole world is there. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my ''whole life''! ''(moments later, the guy vomits nearby)''
** The cops arrive at the dorms, and Barbay is grateful that somebody besides him has a sense of outrage. But it turns out the cops are just there to deliver cases of beer.
* Dr. Barbay's portion of the exam for Thornton:
--> '''Barbay''': I have only one question for Mr. Melon...\\
(Thornton looks relieved; {{Beat}})\\
'''Barbay''': ...[[YankTheDogsChain In 27 parts]].\\
'''Thornton''': ''(under breath)'' I'd like to break him into 27 parts.\\
'''Barbay''': Excuse me?\\
'''Thornton''': No, nothin', nothin'.\\
'''Barbay''': Discuss the foundations of modern global business systems. Part one: Define and
differentiate the three economic philosophies of capitalism, socialism, and communism, as pertains to: A) Management fundamentals; B) organizing and staffing; C) labor management; and D) production and operations. ''(flips to next notecard)'' Part ''two''... Are you getting all this, Mr. Melon?\\
'''Thornton''': Yeah. It's a piece of ''cake''.
** Later, as Thornton is answering the questions:
--> '''Thornton''': ''(exhausted)'' In response to Roman numeral 27, section three, part two, of subset D of the question, the answer is...\\
'''Martin''': Mr. Melon?\\
''(Thornton is glassy-eyed and staring into space)''\\
'''Martin''': Mr. Melon?\\
'''Terguson''': Hey, relax. This man's been put under a lot of pressure. Let's take it easy on him. Say it! SAY IT!!!\\
'''Thornton''': The answer is... four??\\
'''Barbay''': ''(opens his mouth, ready to say "wrong", but is disappointed that his answer is...)'' ...Right.
** When it comes time for Diane's test, Thornton is ready to throw in the towel: "Hold it, that's it. I can't take it no more. I feel like I just gave birth... to an accountant!"


* Thornton totally schooling Dr. Barbay on his first day:

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlVDGmjz7eM Thornton totally schooling Dr. Barbay on his first day:day:]]


* In Professor Terguson's class, when Terguson chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uqjznmTp80 In Professor Terguson's class, class,]] when Terguson chews out and screams at someone who answers his question about the Vietnam War:

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