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Changed line(s) 45,46 (click to see context) from:
* "The Red Zone Has Always Been For Loading and Unloading of Passengers..."
** "Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again."
** "Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again."
to:
* "The The [[FunnyBackgroundEvent quarreling announcers]].
--> '''Male Announcer:''' The Red Zone Has Always Been For Loading and Unloading ofPassengers...Passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone."
** "Listen --> '''Female Announcer:''' Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
--> '''Male Announcer:''' Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shitagain."again.
--> '''Female Announcer:''' Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. [[InsaneTrollLogic You want me to have an abortion.]]
--> '''Vernon:''' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.]]
--> '''Male Announcer:''' The Red Zone Has Always Been For Loading and Unloading of
--> '''Male Announcer:''' Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit
--> '''Female Announcer:''' Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. [[InsaneTrollLogic You want me to have an abortion.]]
--> '''Vernon:''' [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.]]
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* "Excuse me...I know this isn't the place. I mean, I know I don't know you. But...I don't think we're gonna live through this, and I've...never been with a man before."
** Extra points: The third time the girl does this, she says this TO A DONKEY.
** Extra points: The third time the girl does this, she says this TO A DONKEY.
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Changed line(s) 89 (click to see context) from:
* Ted requests a screwdriver. And of course, Elaine hands him a drink. Extra funny: Ted still has a [[Running Gag drinking problem.]]
to:
* Ted requests a screwdriver. And of course, Elaine hands him a drink. Extra funny: Ted still has a [[Running Gag [[RunningGag drinking problem.]]
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* Ted requests a screwdriver. And of course, Elaine hands him a drink. Extra funny: Ted still has a [[Running Gag drinking problem.]]
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** "First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fat so they died and turned to oil. Then the Arabs came and they were driving Mercedes Benz's. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it"...
Changed line(s) 42,43 (click to see context) from:
* The Red Zone Has Always Been For Loading and Unloading of Passengers...
** Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.
** Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.
to:
* The "The Red Zone Has Always Been For Loading and Unloading of Passengers...
Passengers..."
**Listen "Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again."
**
Deleted line(s) 50,51 (click to see context) :
* "Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, Stryker. We've all got our [[BillionsOfButtons buttons, lights, and knobs]] to deal with. I mean, out here, I am literally surrounded by hundreds and thousands of buttons, lights, and knobs. They're blinking and they're beeping and they're flashing and they're BEEPING AND THEY'RE FLASHING!"
** The joke here is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DYbDoh0R8#t=4m40s that William Shatner said that]].
** The joke here is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DYbDoh0R8#t=4m40s that William Shatner said that]].
Deleted line(s) 53 (click to see context) :
* "First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fat so they died and turned to oil. Then the Arabs came and they were driving Mercedes Benz's. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it"...
Deleted line(s) 63,66 (click to see context) :
* Elaine tells the passengers that they're half a million miles off course, missing a navigational system, and being bombarded by asteroids. The passengers remain calm.
-->'''Random Passenger''': Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?
-->'''Elaine''': Not exactly. We're also out of coffee
-->The passengers begin rioting.
-->'''Random Passenger''': Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?
-->'''Elaine''': Not exactly. We're also out of coffee
-->The passengers begin rioting.
Deleted line(s) 78 (click to see context) :
* In Airplane II, When Ted escapes the asylum in with spotlights searching for him, he passes singer Jack Jones in a spotlight singing ''TheLoveBoat'' theme into a mike.
Deleted line(s) 80 (click to see context) :
* You open doors on the moonbase by going 'Hssst' at them.
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!! ''Airplane II!''
* When Ted escapes the asylum in with spotlights searching for him, he passes singer Jack Jones in a spotlight singing ''TheLoveBoat'' theme into a mike.
* You open doors on the moonbase by going 'Hssst' at them.
* Elaine tells the passengers that they're half a million miles off course, missing a navigational system, and being bombarded by asteroids. The passengers remain calm.
-->'''Random Passenger''': Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?
-->'''Elaine''': Not exactly. We're also out of coffee
-->''Commence Mass FreakOut''
* "Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, Stryker. We've all got our [[BillionsOfButtons buttons, lights, and knobs]] to deal with. I mean, out here, I am literally surrounded by hundreds and thousands of buttons, lights, and knobs. They're blinking and they're beeping and they're flashing and they're BEEPING AND THEY'RE FLASHING!"
** The joke here is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7DYbDoh0R8#t=4m40s that William Shatner said that]].
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Changed line(s) 86 (click to see context) from:
to:
* The parade of emergency vehicles dispatched at the Chicago airport includes a cement mixer, a farm tractor, and a truckload of Budweiser.
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Changed line(s) 81 (click to see context) from:
to:
* This rather unfortunate exchange:
-->'''Rex:''' Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can. (into microphone) Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?
-->'''Ted:''' No. Never.
-->'''Rex:''' (with microphone still on) Shit! This is a goddamned waste of time! There's no way he can land this plane!
** Ted's deer-in-headlights reaction from the cockpit really sells this one.
-->'''Rex:''' Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can. (into microphone) Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before?
-->'''Ted:''' No. Never.
-->'''Rex:''' (with microphone still on) Shit! This is a goddamned waste of time! There's no way he can land this plane!
** Ted's deer-in-headlights reaction from the cockpit really sells this one.
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Mc Croskey and the other airtraffic controller were on the phone with each other, while sitting right next to each other
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** "Alright, he's a risk. But what choice do we have?"
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* You open doors on the moonbase by going 'Hssst' at them.
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Changed line(s) 45 (click to see context) from:
* The opening credits where the fin of the airplane doubles for a [[{{Jaws}} shark fin]], complete with appropriate music!
to:
* The opening credits where the fin of the airplane doubles for a [[{{Jaws}} [[Film/{{Jaws}} shark fin]], complete with appropriate music!
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*** This is made all the funnier due to the fact that Johnny had no original lines in the scipt, [[ThrowitIn he just ad-libbed it all and they kept it in.]]
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Changed line(s) 27 (click to see context) from:
* [[BlatantLies "...free to live a life of religious fulfillment"]].
to:
* [[BlatantLies "...free to live a life of religious fulfillment"]].fulfillment."]]
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Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
* "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air. Yes, birds too".
to:
* "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air. Yes, birds too".too."
Changed line(s) 58 (click to see context) from:
* "When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit the fan."(And it does. [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Literally]].)
to:
* "When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit the fan."(And " (And it does. [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Literally]].)
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Changed line(s) 23 (click to see context) from:
* "No thank you. I take it black, like my men".
to:
* "No thank you. I take it black, like my men".men."
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
* "Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue." * sniff*
to:
* "Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue." * sniff* *sniff*
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
--> "Johnny, what do you make of this?" * hands him a computer printout*
to:
--> "Johnny, what do you make of this?" * hands *hands him a computer printout*
Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
** "Your husband and the others are alive, but unconcious." "Just like Gerald Ford."
to:
** "Your husband and the others are alive, but unconcious.unconscious." "Just like Gerald Ford."
Changed line(s) 23 (click to see context) from:
* "No, thank you. I take it black, like my men".
to:
* "No, "No thank you. I take it black, like my men".
Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
* "Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
to:
* "Have you "You ever seen a grown man naked?"
Changed line(s) 45 (click to see context) from:
* "The hell I don't! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes." (the look on Joey's face is priceless!)
to:
* "The hell I don't! LISTEN LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes." (the look on Joey's face is priceless!)
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
* "..He thinks he's Ethyl Merman."
to:
* ".."...He thinks he's Ethyl Ethel Merman."
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** "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."
Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* "I just want to tell you both good luck, [[RunningGag we're all counting on you.]]"
to:
* "I just want to tell you both good luck, [[RunningGag we're all counting on you.]]"]]
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* "I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
Added DiffLines:
* "I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
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** Back when the movie originally screened, this scene was met with ''[[DeaderThanDisco wild, raucous applause]]''.
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Added DiffLines:
* In Airplane II, When Ted escapes the asylum in with spotlights searching for him, he passes singer Jack Jones in a spotlight singing ''TheLoveBoat'' theme into a mike.
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*
-->'''Ted''': We're bombing the storage depots at Daquiri in 1200 hours. We're coming in from the north below their radar.
-->'''Elaine''': When will you be back?
-->'''Ted''': I can't tell you that. It's classified.
-->'''Ted''': We're bombing the storage depots at Daquiri in 1200 hours. We're coming in from the north below their radar.
-->'''Elaine''': When will you be back?
-->'''Ted''': I can't tell you that. It's classified.
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Changed line(s) 66 (click to see context) from:
* ''"Christmas, Ted. It was a living hell. Have you ever been kicked on the head with an iron boot? Of course not. I'm sorry that's a dumb question. Skip that".''
to:
* ''"Christmas, Ted. It was a living hell. Have you ever been kicked on the head with an iron boot? Of course not. I'm sorry that's a dumb question. Skip that".''''
*Mrs. Oveur and her horse.
----
*Mrs. Oveur and her horse.
----
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Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
* "No, that's what they'll be expecting us to do".
to:
*''"Christmas, Ted. It was a living hell. Have you ever been kicked on the head with an iron boot? Of course not. I'm sorry that's a dumb question. Skip that".''
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
** With a surfing nun on the cover.
to:
** [[CrazyAwesome With a surfing nun on the cover.cover]].
Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
*
to:
* A very overlooked joke that got abused in the sequel.
Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Oveur''': No, why don't you take care of it?
to:
-->'''Oveur''': No, why don't you take care of it?it?
*"No, that's what they'll be expecting us to do".
*"No, that's what they'll be expecting us to do".
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*** Using arguably the most beautiful back-flip kick-throw ever.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* "When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit the fan."(And it does. Literally.)
to:
* "When Kramer hears about this, the shit's gonna hit the fan."(And it does. Literally.[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Literally]].)
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Added DiffLines:
** Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.
