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The original ''Worse Than Death'' started out as a simple, crack-filled, and not that serious ''Manga/{{Hellsing}}'' AlternateUniverse {{fanfic}} created by [=Blacksand1=] (known here as Miyu Miyu 2) that spared the Valentine Brothers and had them work for Hellsing. But through the use of [[CrackPairing Crack Pairs]], loads of [[OriginalCharacter Characters]], [[OppositeSexClone Opposite Sex Clones]], and the premise going way overboard, it became an epic of sorts spanning two stories and even getting some fanart here and there.
The writing is mediocre, there are too many {{Original Character}}s, and there are some things that just flat out don't make sense, and yet people seemed to like it. And thus a sequel was born and hastily killed.
[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4299374/1/Worse_then_Death Read the first one here]] and [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4476405/1/The_Winter_War the second one here]].
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!! Featured Tropes:
* TenMinuteRetirement: Anderson. [[spoiler:He leaves in a ScrewThisImOuttaHere gesture in the first one only to return just as things are getting good in the second with an Egyptian werecat by his side.]]
* AbsurdlySharpBlade: GC's swords, the blades on SS's bayonets, Anderson's bayonets (Duh), and that's just to name a few.
* ActionGirl: If you are female on the side of 'good', this is what you are. No exceptions.
* AllThereInTheManual: Chances are most of the original characters were given an official bio, and it's floating around somewhere on the internet.
* AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs: Done pre-story and later down the line for the heroes (But this is Hellsing, So Yeah) in the first story, then once again in the beginning of the second [[spoiler:only this time it's the Vatican getting invaded.]]
* AloofAlly: After the [[spoiler:first]] attack on London [[spoiler:Iscariot]] is this to Hellsing for all of five minutes before they're basically ''forced'' into semi-permanently allying with Hellsing for their next move.
* AlwaysSaveTheGirl: Gender-flipped in the second story, Yumie in regards to [[spoiler:Pip]] when he's taken captive.
* AttentionWhore: Yadviga has some attention grabbing tendencies, especially in fights where she does the most over the top things to get people to look at her. [[AllThereInTheManual According to her official bio]], this was why she died her hair purple.
* BadassAdorable: ''SCHRÖDINGER'' of all people, but only shown after [[spoiler:his HeelFaceTurn]], along with his {{Expy}} in [[UsefulNotes/RedsWithRockets Serp Zuba]] Stepan. The latter can actually become even MORE adorable by [[spoiler:going into his werevamp wolf form]]. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Yadviga, Luna, and Verona count too]], since the three girls are all too old to be LittleMissBadass.
* BadassArmy: The combined forces of Hellsing and Iscariot amount to this, while Serp Zuba is this all on its own.
* BadassBoast: The shortest in history coming from Dmitri.
-->'''Dmitri:''' I AM GENERAL DMITRI AND YOU ARE DEAD!!!
* BadassCrew: If you have a name, have some fighting ability, and aren't irredeemably evil, chances are you're either part of the Hellsing-Iscariot team or you're going to join it soon.
* BadassFamily: Subverted. Alucard, Seras, Pip and [[spoiler:Yumie]] constitute as a family in that Seras is Alucard's fledgling, Pip is hers, and [[spoiler:Yumie]] is his. Zinaida, Valik, [[spoiler:Radu, and She]] are also a subversion in the fact that none of them are blood related, and they all just consider each other family.
* BadassLongcoat: Besides all the canon examples, there's Zinaida with a dark green([[spoiler:black in the second story]]) greatcoat, Mircea/Cal with cassocks, Luna and Verona with dark gray greatcoats, and [[spoiler:She]] with a brown trench coat.
* BadassLabcoat: Dok actually goes through two. There's the one he has in canon, and a black one that comes with [[spoiler:his HeelFaceTurn]].
* BadassNormal: Heinkell retains her status as this even with longer hair and more cleavage, Dok TookALevelInBadass to become one, Kya is basically one, we all know Integra is one, and Maxwell is revealed to be one as well. Amedea, Mircea and Cal count too.
*** Bastian is a technical example, at least among Millennium, since the only things differentiating him from the typical soldiers are his different choice in uniform and habit to get mixed up with [[TheDitz The Ditzes]] and TheStoic.
%%* BadassPreacher: As of this series, EVERYONE in Iscariot. Maxwell included.
* BaddieFlattery: [[spoiler:She and Radu]] are quite fond of this, and do a lot more of it than normal in the epilogue.
* TheBaroness: Zinaida and [[spoiler:She]] have shades of this, while [[spoiler:She]] is the only one of the two that actually does any torturing that isn't psychological.
* BerserkButton: Call [[spoiler:She]] human, and you will soon find yourself ripped into itsy bitsy pieces. The same goes for Luke if you make a pass at Integra, [[spoiler:Radu]] if you threaten Zinaida, and Major if you are Russian.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: See those two girls there? The ones with the AnimeHair, randomly Italian-sounding names, collective intelligence of a spoon and collective attention span of a brain-damaged rabbit? Mess with Millennium's OnlySaneMan, and they will bring the hurt.
* {{BFG}}: Irina's unnamed weapon, Valik's gun, the Varis, and the Belial.
* BigDamnHeroes: Played straight more times than any normal person can count. Subverted a grand total of once; [[spoiler:Alucard and various others get there to save the day, but She drinks Alucard's blood, regaining her powers and turning from a FauxActionGirl to a OneManArmy]].
* BirdsOfAFeather: Luke and Integra. They look similar, both have a sense of pride and dignity, are both quite intelligent, and both are pretty sane for their insane surroundings.
* BondVillainStupidity: In the second, [[spoiler:She doesn't even think that Pip could POSSIBLY be tracked down and saved by his allies and just leaves him to bleed to death. Of course Seras and Yumie rescue him.]]
* TheCavalry: Iscariot in the final battle of the first story, though they come in about midway.
* TheChainsOfCommanding: Integra is heavily implied to be suffering from schizophrenia (that keeps her from dating), most likely stemming from the stress of having to lead a vampire hunting organization since she was a child.
%%* ChildrenAreInnocent: Not if Millennium has anything to say about it. Lo and behold, S.S.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Luna and Verona are half this half TheDitz.
* CommieNazis: Subverted; after a bit of hating each other, the Fascists and the Communists willingly ally themselves instead of just being a landmass of evil all on their own. [[spoiler:This alliance only lasts until the final chapters of the second story, afterwards they're back to hating each other.]]
* CurbStompBattle: Seras Alucard Jan Luke and GC vs. Vampire Cows/SWAT Team/Tubalcain Alhambra/ANYONE, Jan and Alucard vs. Rip Van Winkle, Yadviga vs. Zorin, Hans vs. Amedea, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
* DaddysGirl: G.C. is something of a parody of this, since upon her first appearance she considers nearly every adult male in the group to be her surrogate father and adores them instantly. This behavior is quickly shoved under the table later, implying she didn't really mean it. Zinaida plays this a little straighter, since the only things she loves more than her surrogate father [[spoiler:Radu]] are [[spoiler:Major]] and [[ColonelKilgore war]].
* DarkActionGirl: If you are female and align yourself with Millennium and/or Serp Zuba, this is what you are. No exceptions. [[spoiler:Well, except She. But that doesn't last long…]]
%%* DeliberatelyCuteChild: G.C. is implied to be this, as is Stepan.
* DemotedToExtra: Heinkell is hardly even talked about after chapter seventeen of the first story, just being something of placeholder in the crew.
%%* TheDitz: Luna and Verona are half this half {{Cloudcuckoolander}}.
* DivergentCharacterEvolution: Most of the named members of Serp Zuba were deliberately just [[{{Expy}} expies]] and [[{{Foil}} foils]] of the canon characters, but through the stories some of them became much different and developed on their own. The one character that didn't develop much was Stepan, and that was because he was never really seen outside of fights and Serp Zuba's introduction scene.
* DramaBombFinale: Though having action and some romantic things, the first story stays funny and crack-filled through the war and up to the last few chapters, where the funny is stashed in the closet for action and drama. The second story follows the tone set by the end of the last story, any attempts to revert to the crack and fun of the last story being met with strange looks instead of hilarity.
* EmotionalMaturityIsPhysicalMaturity: G.C. uses this as something of an excuse for her behavior, justifying it by saying that Millennium created her fifty-five years ago, but she's only been actively alive for seven of them. [[FridgeLogic Never mind the fact that she looks like she's about twelve…]]
* EmpoweredBadassNormal: Both Pip and Yumie become this via methods of EmergencyTransformation. Zinaida as well, since she was said to be pretty badass before becoming basically immortal through the use of ''QUANTUM PHYSICS THEORY''. Kya becomes one after [[spoiler:coming back from the dead]], though being a hiccup of nature she wasn't all that normal to begin with.
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: From the minute you see her, you can tell ''exactly'' what kind of character Zinaida is going to be.
* [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas Even Bad Women Love Their Adoptive Vampire Fathers]].
* EvilLaugh: Zinaida does this for no real reason when she introduces herself to Millennium.
* {{Expy}}: Stepan, for starters…
* FourStarBadass: Zinaida.
* FunetikAksent: Everyone Russian or German, though the author gives up on writing the Russian accents out around the second to last chapters. [[spoiler:In the rewrite, however, the author plans on giving She an Israeli accent to coincide with her Biblical roots]].
* GoodCostumeSwitch: Played straight with [[spoiler:Dok]] changes to a black version of his normal outfit plus an eyepatch after his HeelFaceTurn, and oddly averted with Schrödinger, since I think you'd want to throw out the whole [[ThoseWackyNazis Hitler Youth Uniform]].
* GoodIsNotNice: Nearly all of the Hellsing crew.
* HandicappedBadass: Pip, Integra, and Dok are all missing an eye. They can still kick ass. Dmitri is missing a thumb. Doesn't stop him from pulling organs out of people.
* HeroicBastard: Both Jan and Luke.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: Mircea and Cal.
* HistoricalHeroUpgrade: Subverted, since [[spoiler:Mircea and Cal are reincarnations of Mircea II and Vlad Calugarul]], but according to [[spoiler:Alucard]] they act exactly the same as their past counterparts.
* HistoricalVillainUpgrade: [[spoiler:Radu]] probably wasn't as much of a douche as he is here. [[spoiler:She also sort of counts, since [[Literature/TheBible Lilith]] is something of a moral gray area]].
* HotBlooded: Two words. Jan Valentine.
* ImmortalImmaturity: G.C. and Schrödinger play this straight while Stepan is something of a subversion, alternating between being childish, mature, and something in between.
** Luna and Verona are odd cases, since they're forty-five chronologically, seventeen bodily, and will forever be about five (and afflicted with ADHD) mentally.
*** S.S. is an inversion, since she's chronologically one but acts like an (emotionless) adult.
* ImplausibleFencingPowers: G.C. Just… GC.
* ImprobableAge: Kya is about fifteen, yet she was a member of a terrorist organization before being forced defection number [[MemeticMutation over nine thousand]].
* IndyEscape: The end of the first story has everyone running like hell from an explosion.
* IndyPloy: The closest the protagonists have ever come to a plan is tracking the enemy down via improbably deductive reasoning and StormingTheCastle.
%%* InformedJudaism: [[spoiler:Kya]].
* IntergenerationalFriendship: After G.C. stops considering every older character a parent, this becomes her relationship with most everyone.
%%* KatanasAreJustBetter: G.C.'s motto.
* KidAppealCharacter: G.C. plays this trope annoyingly straight when she isn't fighting. Although, it's implied that she purposefully acts like the typical kid sidekick character because Millennium wouldn't condone such behavior, a la S.S.
* LittleMissBadass: G.C. and S.S. play this straight, gender and all, while Stepan and Schrödinger are male equivalents. Luna and Verona have the mentality of younger children while being much older, so it's possible that they count.
* LivingForeverIsAwesome: Though they don't outright say the trope word for word, none of the good characters angst over being immortal. Probably because there's so goddamn many of them that they don't need to angst over leaving people behind, and they won't have to move about since they're tied to one organization.
* MagneticHero: Integra seems to be this AND subversion, since she forced three Millennium soldiers into defecting and took in a fourth as a technical prisoner.
%%* ManipulativeBastard: See above.
* MexicanStandoff: A brief one at the end of chapter twenty with all the Serp Zuba and Millennium soldiers pointing their weapons at the crew.
%%* MoralityPet: [[spoiler:Radu]] and Zinaida are this to each other, oddly.
* MuggleBornOfMages: Kya is a human, but her parents were vampires. Subverted in that this actually gave her a disease, since nature apparently wants to eliminate anything that isn't of the natural order.
* NaughtyIsGood: G.C. and Schrödinger, when you get down to it, are ill-behaved brats. And yet they're members of the BadassCrew.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: In the second, [[spoiler:Alucard and some others come in, expecting to be BigDamnHeroes, but She takes the opportunity to drink his blood and regain her powers to go from a FauxActionGirl to a OneManArmy]].
* NoOneGetsLeftBehind: A rather weird version of it takes place; Walter [[spoiler:refuses to leave Kya's body behind and doesn't let go of it even though she wanted to die and is basically seconds away from death at any given moment]].
* NormallyIWouldBeDeadNow: Subverted; Kya [[spoiler:is seconds away from dying of terminal illness and gets stabbed seventy-two times in the chest, but she still has enough strength to say a few parting words to Walter.]] Played a little more straight in the second, [[spoiler:since apparently Kya is on the precipice of death and basically in a coma. But she STILL survived being stabbed 72 times in the chest and a terminal illness]].
* NotSoStoic: These moments become increasingly frequent for S.S. as the stories wind down, almost all of them taking place when she's fighting G.C. or some other opponent.
* OddFriendship: OnlySaneMan BadassNormal Bastian, TheStoic OppositeSexClone of the resident GodModeSue S.S., and the [[TheDitz ditzy]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} cloudcuckoolanders]] Luna and Verona make for an odd trio.
* TheOlderImmortal: Alucard of course, [[spoiler:but there's Radu as well. She AKA Lilith trumps them both by several millions]].
* OlderThanTheyLook: G.C., Luna, Verona, and Bastian all count for this; they're all in their fifties/forties, but look and act much younger.
%%* OminousWalk: Done by ''Stepan'' of all people.
%%* OneManArmy: She. Oh my GOD, ''She''.
* OneSidedBattle: Either subverted or averted, since we're never really ''told'' who's winning, all we ever know is that the two or three sides are fighting.
%%* OnlySaneMan: Bastian.
* OppositesAttract: Probably the reasoning behind Jan and Rip Van Winkle, Yumie and Pip, and many of the other crack pairings in this thing.
* OutOfCharacter: By. The. ''Truckload''.
* OutrunTheFireball: Played straight at the very end of the first.
* PutOnABus: [[spoiler:The remnants of Milllennium and Serp Zuba at the very end, Hans and Irina too.]]
* ReallySevenHundredYearsOld: Zinaida (101), [[spoiler:Radu]](527), [[spoiler:She]](Let's see, how old is the Earth?), and those are just the extreme cases.
* RedemptionPromotion: Dok and Schrödinger actually learn how to fight after they both have a [[spoiler:HeelFaceTurn]], Luke and Jan [[TookALevelInBadass take several levels in badass]] after their forced defection, Rip figures out more creative ways to use her bullets after hers, there's too much more to list.
* ResignationsNotAccepted: Subverted with Millennium; all the fear of defection is instilled by being burned by the FREAK chips, and those are apparently easy to remove. Played straight, however, with Hellsing. Mystical bindings to one organization and one alone are a bit tougher to break than FREAK chips.
* TheRestShallPass: The Hellsing[[spoiler:-Iscariot]] crew is constantly being split up during gigantic fight scenes to fight their respective rivals/whoever important that's left over. At the end of the huge battle they find some way to group together again, or they meet up in small groups that keep growing and growing as they find more of their teammates until the gang's all here again.
* RevolversAreJustBetter: Yadviga uses this and uses it well, with THREE REVOLVERS, firing one with her TONGUE.
* ScarilyCompetentTracker: Nearly every vampire character has this ability, being able to figure out exactly where another one of their kind is just by searching for their thoughts.
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: Anderson in the first story. [[spoiler:He comes back in the second, bringing an Egyptian werecat with him for good measure]].
%%* ShipperOnDeck: Yadviga.
* SmokeOut: Zorin uses a version of this in the second, instead sending up a plume of dust to disguise her escape.
* SpellMyNameWithAThe: Anderson is constantly referred to as ''The'' Anderson by the author/narrator.
* StormingTheCastle: [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4299374/20/Worse_then_Death Literally.]]
%%* SwissArmyAppendage: Jan's shadow arm.
* TalkativeLoon: The ''author herself''. The last thing she says before every chapter is some sort of weird quote.
%%* TwitchyEye: Maxwell.
* VerbalTic: Jaqueline's "I Wonder I Wonder" (also a ShoutOut) at the end of every sentence, no exceptions. Guess how quickly the readers stop tolerating it.
* VillainousBreakdown: Zinaida, after [[spoiler:She rips Major to itty bitty pieces]].
* ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption: The Hellsing crew's solution to everything that comes up in the story is to go find it and beat the everloving crap out of it.
* VitriolicBestBuds: This seems to be the relationship between Hellsing and Iscariot, at least in this 'verse.
* WorldOfBadass: There's not a character in the cast that can't kick ass, from the named characters to the mooks.
* WouldntHurtAChild: Averted. GC gets in a few fights with the older characters, and they see no shame in fighting back against a child.
* YoungerThanTheyLook: S.S. is about one years old [[AllThereInTheManual according to supplementary material]]. She looks twelve and acts about twenty.)
The writing is mediocre, there are too many {{Original Character}}s, and there are some things that just flat out don't make sense, and yet people seemed to like it. And thus a sequel was born and hastily killed.
[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4299374/1/Worse_then_Death Read the first one here]] and [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4476405/1/The_Winter_War the second one here]].
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!! Featured Tropes:
* TenMinuteRetirement: Anderson. [[spoiler:He leaves in a ScrewThisImOuttaHere gesture in the first one only to return just as things are getting good in the second with an Egyptian werecat by his side.]]
* AbsurdlySharpBlade: GC's swords, the blades on SS's bayonets, Anderson's bayonets (Duh), and that's just to name a few.
* ActionGirl: If you are female on the side of 'good', this is what you are. No exceptions.
* AllThereInTheManual: Chances are most of the original characters were given an official bio, and it's floating around somewhere on the internet.
* AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs: Done pre-story and later down the line for the heroes (But this is Hellsing, So Yeah) in the first story, then once again in the beginning of the second [[spoiler:only this time it's the Vatican getting invaded.]]
* AloofAlly: After the [[spoiler:first]] attack on London [[spoiler:Iscariot]] is this to Hellsing for all of five minutes before they're basically ''forced'' into semi-permanently allying with Hellsing for their next move.
* AlwaysSaveTheGirl: Gender-flipped in the second story, Yumie in regards to [[spoiler:Pip]] when he's taken captive.
* AttentionWhore: Yadviga has some attention grabbing tendencies, especially in fights where she does the most over the top things to get people to look at her. [[AllThereInTheManual According to her official bio]], this was why she died her hair purple.
* BadassAdorable: ''SCHRÖDINGER'' of all people, but only shown after [[spoiler:his HeelFaceTurn]], along with his {{Expy}} in [[UsefulNotes/RedsWithRockets Serp Zuba]] Stepan. The latter can actually become even MORE adorable by [[spoiler:going into his werevamp wolf form]]. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Yadviga, Luna, and Verona count too]], since the three girls are all too old to be LittleMissBadass.
* BadassArmy: The combined forces of Hellsing and Iscariot amount to this, while Serp Zuba is this all on its own.
* BadassBoast: The shortest in history coming from Dmitri.
-->'''Dmitri:''' I AM GENERAL DMITRI AND YOU ARE DEAD!!!
* BadassCrew: If you have a name, have some fighting ability, and aren't irredeemably evil, chances are you're either part of the Hellsing-Iscariot team or you're going to join it soon.
* BadassFamily: Subverted. Alucard, Seras, Pip and [[spoiler:Yumie]] constitute as a family in that Seras is Alucard's fledgling, Pip is hers, and [[spoiler:Yumie]] is his. Zinaida, Valik, [[spoiler:Radu, and She]] are also a subversion in the fact that none of them are blood related, and they all just consider each other family.
* BadassLongcoat: Besides all the canon examples, there's Zinaida with a dark green([[spoiler:black in the second story]]) greatcoat, Mircea/Cal with cassocks, Luna and Verona with dark gray greatcoats, and [[spoiler:She]] with a brown trench coat.
* BadassLabcoat: Dok actually goes through two. There's the one he has in canon, and a black one that comes with [[spoiler:his HeelFaceTurn]].
* BadassNormal: Heinkell retains her status as this even with longer hair and more cleavage, Dok TookALevelInBadass to become one, Kya is basically one, we all know Integra is one, and Maxwell is revealed to be one as well. Amedea, Mircea and Cal count too.
*** Bastian is a technical example, at least among Millennium, since the only things differentiating him from the typical soldiers are his different choice in uniform and habit to get mixed up with [[TheDitz The Ditzes]] and TheStoic.
%%* BadassPreacher: As of this series, EVERYONE in Iscariot. Maxwell included.
* BaddieFlattery: [[spoiler:She and Radu]] are quite fond of this, and do a lot more of it than normal in the epilogue.
* TheBaroness: Zinaida and [[spoiler:She]] have shades of this, while [[spoiler:She]] is the only one of the two that actually does any torturing that isn't psychological.
* BerserkButton: Call [[spoiler:She]] human, and you will soon find yourself ripped into itsy bitsy pieces. The same goes for Luke if you make a pass at Integra, [[spoiler:Radu]] if you threaten Zinaida, and Major if you are Russian.
* BewareTheNiceOnes: See those two girls there? The ones with the AnimeHair, randomly Italian-sounding names, collective intelligence of a spoon and collective attention span of a brain-damaged rabbit? Mess with Millennium's OnlySaneMan, and they will bring the hurt.
* {{BFG}}: Irina's unnamed weapon, Valik's gun, the Varis, and the Belial.
* BigDamnHeroes: Played straight more times than any normal person can count. Subverted a grand total of once; [[spoiler:Alucard and various others get there to save the day, but She drinks Alucard's blood, regaining her powers and turning from a FauxActionGirl to a OneManArmy]].
* BirdsOfAFeather: Luke and Integra. They look similar, both have a sense of pride and dignity, are both quite intelligent, and both are pretty sane for their insane surroundings.
* BondVillainStupidity: In the second, [[spoiler:She doesn't even think that Pip could POSSIBLY be tracked down and saved by his allies and just leaves him to bleed to death. Of course Seras and Yumie rescue him.]]
* TheCavalry: Iscariot in the final battle of the first story, though they come in about midway.
* TheChainsOfCommanding: Integra is heavily implied to be suffering from schizophrenia (that keeps her from dating), most likely stemming from the stress of having to lead a vampire hunting organization since she was a child.
%%* ChildrenAreInnocent: Not if Millennium has anything to say about it. Lo and behold, S.S.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Luna and Verona are half this half TheDitz.
* CommieNazis: Subverted; after a bit of hating each other, the Fascists and the Communists willingly ally themselves instead of just being a landmass of evil all on their own. [[spoiler:This alliance only lasts until the final chapters of the second story, afterwards they're back to hating each other.]]
* CurbStompBattle: Seras Alucard Jan Luke and GC vs. Vampire Cows/SWAT Team/Tubalcain Alhambra/ANYONE, Jan and Alucard vs. Rip Van Winkle, Yadviga vs. Zorin, Hans vs. Amedea, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
* DaddysGirl: G.C. is something of a parody of this, since upon her first appearance she considers nearly every adult male in the group to be her surrogate father and adores them instantly. This behavior is quickly shoved under the table later, implying she didn't really mean it. Zinaida plays this a little straighter, since the only things she loves more than her surrogate father [[spoiler:Radu]] are [[spoiler:Major]] and [[ColonelKilgore war]].
* DarkActionGirl: If you are female and align yourself with Millennium and/or Serp Zuba, this is what you are. No exceptions. [[spoiler:Well, except She. But that doesn't last long…]]
%%* DeliberatelyCuteChild: G.C. is implied to be this, as is Stepan.
* DemotedToExtra: Heinkell is hardly even talked about after chapter seventeen of the first story, just being something of placeholder in the crew.
%%* TheDitz: Luna and Verona are half this half {{Cloudcuckoolander}}.
* DivergentCharacterEvolution: Most of the named members of Serp Zuba were deliberately just [[{{Expy}} expies]] and [[{{Foil}} foils]] of the canon characters, but through the stories some of them became much different and developed on their own. The one character that didn't develop much was Stepan, and that was because he was never really seen outside of fights and Serp Zuba's introduction scene.
* DramaBombFinale: Though having action and some romantic things, the first story stays funny and crack-filled through the war and up to the last few chapters, where the funny is stashed in the closet for action and drama. The second story follows the tone set by the end of the last story, any attempts to revert to the crack and fun of the last story being met with strange looks instead of hilarity.
* EmotionalMaturityIsPhysicalMaturity: G.C. uses this as something of an excuse for her behavior, justifying it by saying that Millennium created her fifty-five years ago, but she's only been actively alive for seven of them. [[FridgeLogic Never mind the fact that she looks like she's about twelve…]]
* EmpoweredBadassNormal: Both Pip and Yumie become this via methods of EmergencyTransformation. Zinaida as well, since she was said to be pretty badass before becoming basically immortal through the use of ''QUANTUM PHYSICS THEORY''. Kya becomes one after [[spoiler:coming back from the dead]], though being a hiccup of nature she wasn't all that normal to begin with.
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: From the minute you see her, you can tell ''exactly'' what kind of character Zinaida is going to be.
* [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas Even Bad Women Love Their Adoptive Vampire Fathers]].
* EvilLaugh: Zinaida does this for no real reason when she introduces herself to Millennium.
* {{Expy}}: Stepan, for starters…
* FourStarBadass: Zinaida.
* FunetikAksent: Everyone Russian or German, though the author gives up on writing the Russian accents out around the second to last chapters. [[spoiler:In the rewrite, however, the author plans on giving She an Israeli accent to coincide with her Biblical roots]].
* GoodCostumeSwitch: Played straight with [[spoiler:Dok]] changes to a black version of his normal outfit plus an eyepatch after his HeelFaceTurn, and oddly averted with Schrödinger, since I think you'd want to throw out the whole [[ThoseWackyNazis Hitler Youth Uniform]].
* GoodIsNotNice: Nearly all of the Hellsing crew.
* HandicappedBadass: Pip, Integra, and Dok are all missing an eye. They can still kick ass. Dmitri is missing a thumb. Doesn't stop him from pulling organs out of people.
* HeroicBastard: Both Jan and Luke.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: Mircea and Cal.
* HistoricalHeroUpgrade: Subverted, since [[spoiler:Mircea and Cal are reincarnations of Mircea II and Vlad Calugarul]], but according to [[spoiler:Alucard]] they act exactly the same as their past counterparts.
* HistoricalVillainUpgrade: [[spoiler:Radu]] probably wasn't as much of a douche as he is here. [[spoiler:She also sort of counts, since [[Literature/TheBible Lilith]] is something of a moral gray area]].
* HotBlooded: Two words. Jan Valentine.
* ImmortalImmaturity: G.C. and Schrödinger play this straight while Stepan is something of a subversion, alternating between being childish, mature, and something in between.
** Luna and Verona are odd cases, since they're forty-five chronologically, seventeen bodily, and will forever be about five (and afflicted with ADHD) mentally.
*** S.S. is an inversion, since she's chronologically one but acts like an (emotionless) adult.
* ImplausibleFencingPowers: G.C. Just… GC.
* ImprobableAge: Kya is about fifteen, yet she was a member of a terrorist organization before being forced defection number [[MemeticMutation over nine thousand]].
* IndyEscape: The end of the first story has everyone running like hell from an explosion.
* IndyPloy: The closest the protagonists have ever come to a plan is tracking the enemy down via improbably deductive reasoning and StormingTheCastle.
%%* InformedJudaism: [[spoiler:Kya]].
* IntergenerationalFriendship: After G.C. stops considering every older character a parent, this becomes her relationship with most everyone.
%%* KatanasAreJustBetter: G.C.'s motto.
* KidAppealCharacter: G.C. plays this trope annoyingly straight when she isn't fighting. Although, it's implied that she purposefully acts like the typical kid sidekick character because Millennium wouldn't condone such behavior, a la S.S.
* LittleMissBadass: G.C. and S.S. play this straight, gender and all, while Stepan and Schrödinger are male equivalents. Luna and Verona have the mentality of younger children while being much older, so it's possible that they count.
* LivingForeverIsAwesome: Though they don't outright say the trope word for word, none of the good characters angst over being immortal. Probably because there's so goddamn many of them that they don't need to angst over leaving people behind, and they won't have to move about since they're tied to one organization.
* MagneticHero: Integra seems to be this AND subversion, since she forced three Millennium soldiers into defecting and took in a fourth as a technical prisoner.
%%* ManipulativeBastard: See above.
* MexicanStandoff: A brief one at the end of chapter twenty with all the Serp Zuba and Millennium soldiers pointing their weapons at the crew.
%%* MoralityPet: [[spoiler:Radu]] and Zinaida are this to each other, oddly.
* MuggleBornOfMages: Kya is a human, but her parents were vampires. Subverted in that this actually gave her a disease, since nature apparently wants to eliminate anything that isn't of the natural order.
* NaughtyIsGood: G.C. and Schrödinger, when you get down to it, are ill-behaved brats. And yet they're members of the BadassCrew.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero: In the second, [[spoiler:Alucard and some others come in, expecting to be BigDamnHeroes, but She takes the opportunity to drink his blood and regain her powers to go from a FauxActionGirl to a OneManArmy]].
* NoOneGetsLeftBehind: A rather weird version of it takes place; Walter [[spoiler:refuses to leave Kya's body behind and doesn't let go of it even though she wanted to die and is basically seconds away from death at any given moment]].
* NormallyIWouldBeDeadNow: Subverted; Kya [[spoiler:is seconds away from dying of terminal illness and gets stabbed seventy-two times in the chest, but she still has enough strength to say a few parting words to Walter.]] Played a little more straight in the second, [[spoiler:since apparently Kya is on the precipice of death and basically in a coma. But she STILL survived being stabbed 72 times in the chest and a terminal illness]].
* NotSoStoic: These moments become increasingly frequent for S.S. as the stories wind down, almost all of them taking place when she's fighting G.C. or some other opponent.
* OddFriendship: OnlySaneMan BadassNormal Bastian, TheStoic OppositeSexClone of the resident GodModeSue S.S., and the [[TheDitz ditzy]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} cloudcuckoolanders]] Luna and Verona make for an odd trio.
* TheOlderImmortal: Alucard of course, [[spoiler:but there's Radu as well. She AKA Lilith trumps them both by several millions]].
* OlderThanTheyLook: G.C., Luna, Verona, and Bastian all count for this; they're all in their fifties/forties, but look and act much younger.
%%* OminousWalk: Done by ''Stepan'' of all people.
%%* OneManArmy: She. Oh my GOD, ''She''.
* OneSidedBattle: Either subverted or averted, since we're never really ''told'' who's winning, all we ever know is that the two or three sides are fighting.
%%* OnlySaneMan: Bastian.
* OppositesAttract: Probably the reasoning behind Jan and Rip Van Winkle, Yumie and Pip, and many of the other crack pairings in this thing.
* OutOfCharacter: By. The. ''Truckload''.
* OutrunTheFireball: Played straight at the very end of the first.
* PutOnABus: [[spoiler:The remnants of Milllennium and Serp Zuba at the very end, Hans and Irina too.]]
* ReallySevenHundredYearsOld: Zinaida (101), [[spoiler:Radu]](527), [[spoiler:She]](Let's see, how old is the Earth?), and those are just the extreme cases.
* RedemptionPromotion: Dok and Schrödinger actually learn how to fight after they both have a [[spoiler:HeelFaceTurn]], Luke and Jan [[TookALevelInBadass take several levels in badass]] after their forced defection, Rip figures out more creative ways to use her bullets after hers, there's too much more to list.
* ResignationsNotAccepted: Subverted with Millennium; all the fear of defection is instilled by being burned by the FREAK chips, and those are apparently easy to remove. Played straight, however, with Hellsing. Mystical bindings to one organization and one alone are a bit tougher to break than FREAK chips.
* TheRestShallPass: The Hellsing[[spoiler:-Iscariot]] crew is constantly being split up during gigantic fight scenes to fight their respective rivals/whoever important that's left over. At the end of the huge battle they find some way to group together again, or they meet up in small groups that keep growing and growing as they find more of their teammates until the gang's all here again.
* RevolversAreJustBetter: Yadviga uses this and uses it well, with THREE REVOLVERS, firing one with her TONGUE.
* ScarilyCompetentTracker: Nearly every vampire character has this ability, being able to figure out exactly where another one of their kind is just by searching for their thoughts.
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: Anderson in the first story. [[spoiler:He comes back in the second, bringing an Egyptian werecat with him for good measure]].
%%* ShipperOnDeck: Yadviga.
* SmokeOut: Zorin uses a version of this in the second, instead sending up a plume of dust to disguise her escape.
* SpellMyNameWithAThe: Anderson is constantly referred to as ''The'' Anderson by the author/narrator.
* StormingTheCastle: [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4299374/20/Worse_then_Death Literally.]]
%%* SwissArmyAppendage: Jan's shadow arm.
* TalkativeLoon: The ''author herself''. The last thing she says before every chapter is some sort of weird quote.
%%* TwitchyEye: Maxwell.
* VerbalTic: Jaqueline's "I Wonder I Wonder" (also a ShoutOut) at the end of every sentence, no exceptions. Guess how quickly the readers stop tolerating it.
* VillainousBreakdown: Zinaida, after [[spoiler:She rips Major to itty bitty pieces]].
* ViolenceIsTheOnlyOption: The Hellsing crew's solution to everything that comes up in the story is to go find it and beat the everloving crap out of it.
* VitriolicBestBuds: This seems to be the relationship between Hellsing and Iscariot, at least in this 'verse.
* WorldOfBadass: There's not a character in the cast that can't kick ass, from the named characters to the mooks.
* WouldntHurtAChild: Averted. GC gets in a few fights with the older characters, and they see no shame in fighting back against a child.
* YoungerThanTheyLook: S.S. is about one years old [[AllThereInTheManual according to supplementary material]]. She looks twelve and acts about twenty.)
