This review is about as fair and balanced as Fox News.
I think that's the joke.
"a hitman who can't bring himself to carry out a contract on a woman, which one might have taken into consideration before giving him the job,"
You do know that the hit on Edea was ordered by NORG and Martine, and not Cid, right? NORG, who probably didn't know about Irvine's relationship toward Edea in the first place?
Not to mention Irvine didn't expect to have problems with the hit until the time came anyway - seeing how it was his first assignment.
And look, no, Squall is not an Emo Teen and there's no denying that either. The "emo" fad reduces every character who isn't a Chuck Norris badass or a happy go lucky kid to a stereotype without even attempting to consider real human behavior.
The only way this review could be balanced is because apparently the reviewer had an equal balance of things to like (gameplay for him) and dislike (characters for him), but the reasons Final Fantasy VIII is such a Love It Or Hate It game is because most of its elements are like that, characters and gameplay mechanics included.
Saying things like "they begin to grate on one's nerves as soon as they're introduced" or "Junctions and summons are a decent change of pace" are totally subjective opinions to which surely half or perhaps even more of the fanbase won't agree with.
You need to try to have a more objective perspective if you wanna make a fair and balanced review. Otherwise, it's not a review, it's just your opinion and hardly anything more than that.
"This review is about as fair and balanced as Fox News."
I resent that remark. FOX News is way more fair and balanced than this review.
"a hitman who can't bring himself to carry out a contract on a woman, which one might have taken into consideration before giving him the job"
You go and try to shoot in the head of the woman who raised you as a kid after the death of your parents.
As-tu rempli ta vie de belles choses ?
Squall isn't exactly emo. He's anti-social, yes, but loners aren't freaks. I have plenty of antisocial friends, and they're still some of the happiest people I've met, their only problem is that they can't stand most other people.
"Not to mention Irvine didn't expect to have problems with the hit until the time came anyway - seeing how it was his first assignment."
Of course, that raises the question of why you'd trust the assassination of a target as important as the Sorceress to a rookie...
If someone likes a game's plot no amount of handwaving will be held back to justify its direction. If someone doesn't like a game's plot then no amount of that handwaving will make much a difference in their opinion.
I'm no fan of FF 8, but it's far from the worst of the series in my eyes. I couldn't get into the characters or be compelled by their drama, but that ultimately wasn't my biggest issue with it. My problem was in the world building. Civilization has managed to build nukes and spaceships but still can't fix the wireless communication?
Really, the worst part of a fanbase are those who can't accept criticism even when it's delivered hand-in-hand with compliments.
I wouldn't class Squall as emo, just overdosed on Wangst.
The most damning aspect to the plot is the focus on the "romance" between two characters with very bad chemistry. Squall and Rinoa should be contenders for the example picture of Strangled By The Red String. That, and the plot aside from the shoehorned "romance" makes no sense whatsoever.
Why are they strangled again? The game spends an insane amount of time showing them coming together, it just doesn't overdo it like every other JRPG out there. FFIX was way worse about it, and FFX just resorted to blugeoning you over the head. And seriously, nobody ever questions Locke and Celes back in VI, but I will. They barely knew each other but suddenly they were lovey dovey after the world ended and they hadn't seen each other in at least a year?
Honestly, FF 8 tried to do a lot of things with subtlety instead of obviousness and the fact the fanbase complained about things they weren't paying attention to almost says to me that Square may have overestimated their abilities.
Zell. Good character. Zell. Good character. What.
Hmm. I forgot I'd even written this review. It's true, now that I've played the thing again — Squall isn't emo, but he is incredibly angsty and a bit of a dick to everyone he meets. Apologies for misusing the term. As for Irvine's reasons for his hesitation — that sort of goes part and parcel with what bothers me about the entire game. If it were just a Ragtag Band Of Misfits out to save the world, drawn into conflicts beyond their control, it wouldn't bother me as much. But it isn't. The plot of FFVIII consists in large part of young, inexperienced and overwhelmingly unqualified cadets being sent by supposedly professional organizations to accomplish missions of world-shattering importance. This bothers me. The story isn't subtle. It's not a Jigsaw Puzzle Plot. (That would be FFXII, which, as I recall, more people complained about than they ever did about VIII.) It's just bad writing — enough that it bothered me as no other JRPG had done before. It's entirely possible to write young characters well. Final Fantasy Tactics and Tactics Ogre did it. Final Fantasy VIII does not.
Final thoughts. The notion that a review is not a collection of subjective opinions. Of course it is. That's what reviews are. More power to you if you're a fan of the game; I wish I had been able to enjoy it as much as you did. And no, I never said Zell is a good character. He's an entertaining character. There's a difference.
Balanced review my ass. -_- Try again.
Say it in red! "People die when they are killed."
you said, "fair and balanced", that means it wasn't gonna be opinionated, sort of a "it's good/average but not for me", or "it's flooded with bad things but I still liked" or a lot of other much much "much" better examples of fair and balanced (like the review of Will & Grace). There is nothing wrong with stating your opinion on something, but saying that your biased opinion is fair and balance is simply not true, if it was, Fox News wouldn't had such controversies with the slogan. In fact I'll like you to explain to me how was it fair and balance and how it sets itself apart from other reviews that don't bare the slogan. "The principal cast is largely unlikeable", "they begin to grate on one's nerves as soon as they're introduced", "regardless of how one interprets it.", no "I think", no "my nerves" and I don't even have to explain the third example. It's like you think your opinion is a fact.
That being said. Aside from Irvine not shooting at Edea, they seem pretty qualified, specially for the world-shattering jobs they're initially given (guarding the central square at dollet, help the resistance with a 16 year old as their leader in a rather un-bloody way, etc.) of course as in many stories something always happens and they end up doing something more dangerous, which showed that they could handle bigger tasks despite being fairly new. The one making silly plans and bad decision in this missions was Rinoa, the only one never trained. And Irvine was said to be a "master sniper" who's "world-shattering" assignment was taking down an ambassador (who took charge of the whole galbanian country and started declaring war on everyone "after" the assignment was given) who only hesitated because the target was his mother figure, plus everyone seems to be forgetting that despite being his mother figure, he did shoot her. Overall I think the biggest flaw was the enemies level aspect of the gameplay, where most of it was a walk through the park if you stayed as low leveled as possible.
Re-reading this review, it's not so bad but I don't agree with your assestment of the characters and plot. Squall's got more to him than just being emo, Rinoa had a character that put her beyond a Shallow Love Interest, Irvine was one of the best damn characters in the whole game, and Selphie was loveably crazy and hilarious. The Rival Turned Evil...needed work, I'll give you that. Especially how he seemed to just get off scot-free in the end despite all the crap he pulled.
And I happen to find flying colleges with a motorcycle squad military to be pretty interesting.
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A fair and balanced review!
Final Fantasy VIII holds the dubious honor of being the first game that made me question Squaresoft's perfection as a company.
It's not a terrible game. It certainly isn't a good one. It's not the weakest of the series, but it's far from the golden standard set by IV and VI. The principal cast is largely unlikeable - a standoffish Emo Teen loner (yes, it's been said before, but there really is no denying it), a Shallow Love Interest, a Rival Turned Evil, a hitman who can't bring himself to carry out a contract on a woman, which one might have taken into consideration before giving him the job, a bloodthirsty Genki Girl - they begin to grate on one's nerves as soon as they're introduced, with the notable exceptions of Zell and Quistis. The plot wraps itself up in the most contrived and abrupt fashion possible, regardless of how one interprets it.
Still, the game has its good points. The gameplay itself really isn't bad. Junctions and summons are a decent change of pace. Triple Triad is an addicting minigame - at least until you begin to acquire new rules that stack the odds severely in favor of the house and are incredibly difficult to ditch. The integration of gameplay and CGI is perhaps the best I've ever seen. Laguna, Kiros and Ward are weird and likable characters who end up in some utterly bizarre situations, and my opinion of the game would be much, much higher if it were about them instead of Squall and Co.
But it isn't. It's about flying colleges fighting each other with motorcycle squads. Still, it's not a bad game, if you ignore the plot and half the cast and take its gameplay mechanics on their own merits, and it could have been worse. It could have been about extreme underwater soccer.