Well he said he's not ready/interested in any relationship, so i don't like feel obligated for him to go out with me or anything.

Oh, that's fair enough then.

Meanwhile, I have so many exciting plans!

• Going to a hot spring this weekend. A clothing-optional hot spring. *wink-wink*
• My birthday on April 27
• Casino night with dinner and a silent charity auction on May 8
• Boyfriend's celebratory graduation dinner on May 14th
• Boyfriend's graduation from law school on May 24th

Next month is going to be the best month ever. Even though this weekend and my birthday are still this month. <3

Make it count this time .

Are you talking about the last time I was planning on going to a hot spring?

Because we don't talk about that. <_<

Precisely, which is why I told you to make it the fuck count, mate .

Gotta make it count, too. I want to be in Sweden as soon as I possibly can.

X7 I think that was only political marriages between nobles and such, actually people falling in love and deciding to get married stuff still happened around the same age it does now. Though if a shift has occurred I'd guess it's due to pre-marital sex being more accepted, access to contraceptives being a thing and children born out of wedlock being more accepted.

Even among poorer classes in Europe, marriage was an economic arrangement first.

I do know that in classical Rome it was common among the rich to marry for money and power and fairly openly take a paramour you actually liked.

Only if you were a man, though, I imagine.

Men would have made the decisions about marriage, but I think the paramour relationship was as mutual as it could have been in that culture.

But then there were the men who took young boys under their wing and into their bed, which was not something the boys really had a say in. But I understand they got mentorship out of it... so it's like a modern internship, right?

I had a normal bit of conversation with my ex today. After more than a month of feeling like a piece of shit whenever she's around, that feels like a pretty big win to me.

Also, that girl who said she wasn't ready to date me yet hasn't changed her stance on the matter, but she's been acting kind of different around me and asked a mutual friend of ours for my number. I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

Seems a development is brewing, and so, more waiting. Reading a few of the recent posts, I remember when I had a crush on this Chinese exchange student...two months before she went back to China. It was very sweet to talk with her, but when she left it still hurt, had to fight back tears I remember. I still remember that fuzzy feeling of talking with her, I really want to replicate that crush feeling again, but in a real relationship :). I'm going to start studying english for the certification starting 2nd week of May, so I'm hoping to meet some new friends :).

edited 17th Apr '15 10:14:39 PM by bydosystem

I'm having some misgivings about my current pursuer. She seems way clingy, and now that someone is vying for my time I've realized... I actually kinda like just doing my own thing, on my own. Makes my previous whining look stupid now.

Good on that realization. I ALMOST got a girls number at orientation yesterday. If only I wasn't so tired from the glass of wine I had before yesterday I could have worked up the thought process to ask her. Also, kinda unrelated, but i have now befriended all but one of my exes. This most recent befriended one- when I look at her FB page I feel like she just discovered 2010 from her newly cristened love of Jersey Shore and 16 and Pregnant*cringe*

edited 18th Apr '15 10:58:38 PM by SmytheOrdo

Smythe: to be fair those shows are fun to watch and laugh at.

I want to go see a cult movie but I feel weird going by myself. Is that the worst reason to ask someone out? As it stands I don't even have anyone in mind.

That's not the worst reason to ask someone out.

I would actually probably even use that as a reason. Like, "Hey, I've been wanting to go to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror but it feels weird to go alone. Would you be interested in something like that?"

Also, finally went to a hot spring with my boyfriend on Saturday. It was bliss. We planned on staying for 2-3 hours and ended up being there for something like 5 or 6.

Even though I had to wash my hair like 4 times afterward to make it feel not-grungy.

I finally made an account on that dating site that my friends recommended. But now I'm too nervous to actually start a chat. >__>

EDIT: I should use this avatar as my profile picture. That would certainly help.

edited 20th Apr '15 1:15:57 PM by Everzwijn

Ohai, Everz!

Yo Hopey what's up?

You here to encourage me to stop being a wuss and start chasing some skirt on yonder dating date?

Wait I thought you were gay.

...

-stares blankly at the wall-

YOU MUST FIND WOMAN EVERZ

YOU MUST

DOOOO IT

FORM BABBY

Wait

I'm now officially old enough to legally use dating sites.....

Hmm.

Are there any poly/open dating sites? otherwise i'll just go normal lol

Yes, you should use that avatar.

Also, messaging people on dating sites is like stepping into mildly cold water. It's really hard to do at first but then you realize there's literally no drawback. The worst that could happen is they ignore you or they turn out to be a douche. So what? People do both of those things in Real Life too.

I've found that the best trick is to read their profile first, at least twice, and find something that genuinely interests you, and message/ask them about that. My boyfriend's first message to me was an amused remark about how my profile mentions that I study calculus in my free time, and that was almost nine months ago. Worked out pretty well for him. Caveat, it might be best to avoid specifically talking about an artist or TV show or book unless you know you can sustain a conversation about that. Try for more abstract things like their love of hiking or dogs or applied theoretical quantum physics or whatever.

I do not recommend any variant of the phrase "Hey, what's up" or "How are you", because it's so generic that it may as well be a blank sheet of paper; I also don't recommend immediately going for the "You're super hot" line unless their profile says they're just looking for a quick fuck and that's what you're after (in which case, by all means, go for it).

tl;dr message people! There's no drawback!

I think so, but I'm not sure. But then, every one that I've seen/used has you input your gender and preferences before actually signing up, so you can check them out before actually creating a profile.

edited 20th Apr '15 1:46:00 PM by SolipSchism

Here or here.

OK Cupid and Fet Life are also valid.

edited 20th Apr '15 1:45:49 PM by Quag15

Wow, this is great advice, dad.

Well I am rather jolly. =P But I likes me some nice tits.

Well this dating site in particular blurs out your pictures for the first 8 minutes. So your first impression isn't based on looks. Which is nice and all, but kinda makes me feel I'll be on a timer as well. It kinda makes me wanna lead with something like "DON'T WORRY BABE, I'M ONLY UGLY ON THE INSIDE". Actually I think I shall. It'll be interesting to see how they react.