Wicked223 plays the My Immortal Drinking Game

Update inbound.

Chapter 24

They have Deviation next, so Ebony gets to ask Professor Trevolry about her mysterious visions. The visions that depict Voldemort killing Draco.

Professor Sinister greets her students with “Konnichiwa everybody come in.” According to the text, she's speaking Japanese here. She smells at Ebony, with her gothic black lipstick. Unlike the other teachers, Ebony actually likes her, meaning she's got Suegoffik-ness coming out the ass. She's half vampire, half-japanese, meaning she "speaks" it and everyfing, she's younger than the other teachers, she dresses exactly like the rest of the Goffik Gang, and there are pastors of Emily the Strong in her classroom. Ebony races her hand. She was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

Professor Trevolry asks what she needs, then adding “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?” Ebony answers yes, while all the preps (akat the sane people) who don't know what HT is give them weird looks. Ebony, in traditional goffik fashion, gives them the middle finger. Ebony then says: “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?” Listen, Tara, if you want to make a pun on the word "fangs", just do it, okay?"

Trevolry says she can do it now, and then dismisses the entire class midlesson. Why does she do this? Why does she interrupt a class just to attend to Ebony? BECAUSE SHE'S ENOBY

Wait, ther's something else: Britney and sum other preps have to stay behind, for no other reason than them being preps (This prep dislike is starting to sound vaguely racist). Trevolry makes them do exorcize (AN: geddit)1 on page 3.

Ebony tells Trevolry her problem: “OK I’m having lotz of visions.", in a worried voice. Despite the fact that she's only had one actual throughout the story, she's worried that Draco's going to die. Trevolry gives her a black cryptal ball to look in (How do you look in a black crystal ball). Ebony stares deep into the soul-baring abyss, deep into her own future, deep into her very 'soul, and sees...

...a black skull and pentagram.

Profound.

Anyway, this gets interrupted by a knock at the door. She looks at said knock on the door. It was Draco, meaning a ridiculous description is coming: "He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes."

Professor Sinister bids her this goodbye: “Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” Ebony leaves with a "Bye bitch." and a wave, then walks over to Draco, with Vampire sitting next to him, like they weren't about to claw each other's throats out last chapter. Ebony follows them, and she feels so exhibited (P Robably because of what she's wearing).

I just realized that you're only about halfway through this thing.

I'm not sure if that's depressing or encouraging.

^ It's encouraging in the same way that knowing you're about to be executed is.

She's half vampire, half-japanese

So Vampire is a race now? That's SUPER.

Heh.

*is worried he's falling off*

It's okay, Wicked. Take a deep breath...

No, I mean in quality.

It could just be that the story has so little in the way of plot devolopment and so many chapters are just the same thing with the same people. It's hard to keep it fresh in the face of such crap.

Hi everybody! I read this "fanfic" a couple weeks ago and I thought it was hilarious in its badness (I would have linked to So Bad It's Good but I only just joined the forum and don't know how yet). Anyone mind if I take on Chapter 25?

Here's the author's note: "stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1" OK, it took me a few minutes to figure out what the heck that meant, but apparently, Tara's friend Justin will beat up everyone who flames her (somehow I think that would take quite some time) and she will tell nerds to put viruses in your computer. WHAT. No, really, just...WHAT???

OK, so Ebony's really excited and wondering if she and Draco "where going 2 do it again". They get into his car and he asks her what Professor Trevolry said. By the way, Draco has a "gothic whit hand with bvlack nail polish". How can a hand be gothic? Well, I guess I should be thankful it's not "goffik". Ebony tells him Professor Trevolry said she'd explain tomorrow what the visions meant. By the way, she never said any such thing. Not quite sure what to make of that. Oh, did I say Ebony tells him? She "grumbled" it "in a sexy voice". What.

Draco "took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork". Firstly: I know nothing about drugs, but I'm pretty sure the word "cabaret" is not used to apply to them. Secondly: She was going to spork it? But...but that's our job! Draco started to fly the car into a tree. Really. They "went to the top of it" and Draco turned on some MCR.

Some sexy guy named Gerard is singing. Then they "started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently".

• beat*

Draco takes off Ebony's "black leather thong and her black leather bar". Er...I've never worn a thong but wouldn't leather underpants be a bit uncomfortable? Oh well, she's not wearing it anymore anyways. Ebony takes off Draco's black boxers and "……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily."

Enoby (NOOOO I'm losing my ability to spell by doing this) has an "orgism" and then they start "frenching passively" as usual. Suddenly.............Ebony falls asleep! She dreams about a black guy shooting two goffik guys with long black hair. How one shoots with hair I have no idea. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) They plead with him not to kill them but he just keeps shooting them, and runs away in a red car.

Ebony screams in terror (well, technically she "shouted in a scared voice") and Draco asks her what's wrong. She cries her typical Tears Of Blood and tells him to call Vampire, which he does with his "blak Likin Park mobile".

But the worst thing is that the people being shot in the dream were Lucian and Serious. Of course this revelation comes with the appropriate number of ellipses, which I decided not to include.

• END CHAPTER**

So, that was probably really bad. But this is my first post on the forums here, so go easy on me, please?

That was unexpected...

I apologize, I didn't mean to intrude.

I liked it...

When you post there's a bar that says 'Show Markup Help', that'll give you all the info you need, but the most common way is to type SoBadItsGood Which gives you So Bad, It's Good

edited 2nd Jun '10 6:33:05 PM by Marky_Markk

That was bizarre and random. Just like My Immortal, come to think of it.

Do I have permission to do chapter 26?

This is awesome by the way, keep up the good work guys!

Go right ahead..

Chapter 26

"AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11"

Yeah. Yeah, you were. Apart from that, what else really needs to be said?

So we start out with Ebony in the forest (I always want to instinctively type "Enoby" when I read that, by the way, so that is exactly what I shall do). We have yet another hilarious moment where the wrong word is used where Vampire comes to the tree a few "mutates" later. You know, these moments ("Looping was masticating to it" et al) are what really make me think that this is a Troll Fic. Vampire's also wearing a "blak leather jackson". I'm not sure what a jackson is, but I don't think a leather one would be very comfortable. Enoby says "Hi Vampire" flirtily, then cries tears of blood, as if we needed more evidence that she's bipolar. Also, can Draco really hug her "sexily"? I don't think Tara knows what adjectives are. Anyway, Enoby tells Draco and Vampire about her dream, they get angry and they all go to Dumbledor/Dumblydor/Dubleodre (Tara, this is not what the rule of three means).

Draco calls Dumbledore "sire". I'm assuming that this means "sir", because otherwise, ALL HAIL KING DUMBLEDORE! Dumbledore starts to "cockle" (so... he started to a type of shellfish?) and asks "How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?" Someone's divisional alright. Draco tells him in response: " “Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter)". Yes, it's very toot of crakter. Also, Draco wants us to know that he's not decisional, but he neglects to mention that he might, perhaps, still be divisional. (Are those even words?)

Any way, Dumbledore is "intimated" and asks where they were. So it's a very familiar voice, then. Alright, that makes sense, as Hogwarts' headmaster Dumbledore's voice would probably be very intimated to Enoby. Finally something that makes sens *sob sob sob*

Enoby tells him that Lucian and Serious were in Longdon, which is very distinct from London. Dumbledore "went and called and people did some stuff". What stuff? WHAT STUFF? I WANT TO KNOW WHAT STUFF THEY DID YOU GOFFIK BITCH! So, after a few minutes, Lucian and Serious get found (wow that was quick, but I guess they have magic on their side).

Vampire goes off to his room to slit his wrists for no reason whatsoever, while Enoby and Draco sit in the nurse's room for no reason whatsoever and kiss for no reason whatsoever. I don't think "gothic, depressed eyes" are a good thing, by the way. The chapter ends thusly: "Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1" Does EVERY chapter need to end with such an inordinate number of ellipses? And I thought Proffesor Sinister was a goffik? WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE YOU STUPID -!

Hoo. Between this and Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament, I'm certainly feeling both divisional and decisional...

Well, I've just been made divisional by Mobile Suit Gundam Tournament, so time for My Immortal to complement it with some decisionality!

Chapter 27: vampirz wil never hurt u

A title? Really?

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

If you truly dnot giv a fok, why are you telling them to stup flaming da foking story? Still, as always, the author's note speaks for itself.

Everyone cries happily because Enoby saved Lucian and Serious (NO! NO! NO! Why did you have to save them, Enoby? Can't you let them, and your story, die???). Then we get this gem: " “Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.” "

...Who is Proffesor Sinatra telling to cum on Enoby (maybe whoever it is will do it in the wee small hours)? Well, at least we can thank her for making Enoby lose her soul, but she might have got it wrong - Enoby didn't have any soul. (By the way, I like the "Proffesor Sinatra" typo so much, I'm going to use it all the time now.) This passage also highlights one of Tara's major faults; Cluster F-Bomb isn't an expression of maturity, it's just childish.

After..............................an over-dramatic ellipsis, Proffesor Sinatra tells Enoby, by looking into her crucible ball (a cup ball? And shouldn't Proffesor Trevolry be doing this?), that "drak times are near", and that Enoby must go back in time. This is the exact point that this fic goes from being extraordinarily funny to So Awful It's Side-Splitting. Sinatra tells Enoby, verbatim: " “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love? U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.” " So, to recap, Enoby should sing him some songs for swingin' lovers, and then he won't be evil... BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Draco, Vampire, Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary ask "What fucking happened?" (TOO MUCH SWEARING), but then Enoby suddenly notices everyone is there. Blind bipolar vampire emos are a threat to everybody, folks. They're "cheesing her name" (as if it could BE any cheesier), and "Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him". Uh, HIM is a band, unless Tara accidentally drooled on the shift and caps lock keys. Not as goffik as you think you are, lady. I bet she doesn't know who Wayne Hussey is either. Apparently, Wesley is running a wisdom shop now as well ("Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises").

The chapter ends with Enoby and Draco sneaking outside (fireworx indoors? Careful, that's a fire hazard) under the influence of some invisibility coke.

All I'm going to say is, at least this chapter was short.

edited 7th Jun '10 4:10:27 AM by Yon Troper

I'd like someone to live blog this awful thing

Update it and maybe I will. That said, I liked your work. Also, have you checked the Write A Badfic thread lately? I want to know if the Trope Pantheons badfic I wrote there is funny or not (Please let it be funny, please let it be funny).

Here's the link.

edited 14th Jun '10 7:37:52 PM by BadficFetish

alright, I have two more chapters about Nazis, one about absurd fashion, and another ranting about Justin Bieber.

they will be added tomorrow.

edited 14th Jun '10 11:10:37 PM by NickTheSwing

Okay then.

Here's the Link!

edited 15th Jun '10 6:11:20 PM by BadficFetish

I would like to liveblog a chapter. I'm a big My Immortal fans, So Yeah.

Sure, Why Not??

I call the next four chapters, though.