Pitch Your Series

Seems like Chess is Sam Beckett's "swiss cheese memory" on God Mode, that's the impression I'm getting, may want to nerf him a little.

RE Jason Heralds: Murphy's law of Season Finales says that you need to have the biggest thing go wrong that you've introduced, and I have no idea how I would top a multiverse collapsing under the weight of a malicious worm that wants to propagate all the way to Earth Prime.

edited 31st Oct '11 8:14:50 PM by moocow1452

My webzone.

Title: As yet unnamed

Synopsis: 300 year old wizard, Douglas, and his cynical, shapeshifting apprentice Maddy return to Douglas' hometown when he senses a threat. This threat is a disembodied spirit that possesses and acts through various characters, seeking to kill. Other major characters include James, Douglas' romantic interest, Elizabeth, the town matriarch, Lily, the sherrif, Henry, a washed up writer and Alex, an antagonistic young man who becomes the ultimate vessel of the spirit. Would be a twelve episode series in the style of HBO dramas.

Characters:

Douglas Crowley: Eccentric and enigmatic wizard who throws his small hometown into disarray when he returns for the first time in 100 years.

Maddy Rayleigh: Douglas' cynical apprentice who wants nothing more than to get back to her studies.

James Donovan: Bisexual mechanic. Straight Man to Douglas' weirdness. Man of action with no time for Douglas' quirks. Opposites attract.

Elizabeth Donovan: Town matriarch and James and Lily's mother. Mother Bear to her children and her town but a reasonable person.

Lily Donovan: By the books, takes no shit, Agent Scully. Sister of James and town sherrif, she takes an immediate interest in Douglas when people start showing up dead shortly after his arrival.

Henry Shale: Amateur writer who turned to drink after his wife died. Red Herring as he initially believes he is the killer but later plays a pivotal role in defeating the spirit. Huge guilt complex conceals a very shrewd mind.

Alex Harrison: James' best friend. Loses his mother early on, turning him against Douglas. Becomes the eventual Big Bad when the spirit gets hold of him. Brash and excitable which reinforces his turn towards violence.

The Spirit: A supernatural creature that can possess a person until it's death. Shows up in the body of a preacher who is killed by Henry when caught attacking a waitress. Once freed, it possess the waitress and begins to kill around the town. Blank slate, accents the personality of those it possesses.

Ruth Rivers: Elizabeth's friend. Hysterical and prone to gossiping.

Father Arthur Jones: Helpful priest who guides several of the characters and has significant ties to Douglas.

Plots: Main arc is obviously dealing with the Spirit. This sees it travel from the drifter, to the waitress and finally to Alex. It becomes a much greater threat in Alex as it manipulates the town. Alex's issues following his mother's death would mask this from the audience. Alex kidnaps James to draw Douglas out where he can be killed. Henry confronts him first however, losing his life but buying time for Lily to rescue her brother. Arthur, Douglas and Maddy are able to kill the creature, with Arthur sacrificing himself to do so. Side plots include:

The town turning against Douglas and Elizabeth pushing James to choose between the two.

Henry dealing with his drinking problem and believing he is the killer.

Lily discovering James is her half brother and learning her father was a rapist.

Maddy mating with a mountain lion while shapeshifted (instinct kicks in) and later discovering she is pregnant.

Ruth fearing for her life after a number of visions seem to predict her death.

Arthur revealing he is a descendant of Douglas' and also a wizard.

Maddy and Lily hating each other until Maddy rescues Lily in the season finale.

Miscellaneous: Although I don't know exactly what the second season would contain, I do know the plot hooks and roughly where they'd lead. Arthur's death prompts Douglas to investigate his family (this would lead to the discovery of ties with the Donovans). Elizabeth revealing she has lied about Lily father and Lily discovering she is a witch (Lily's dad would be season 2's big bad). Ruth continuing to have visions of her death (revealed to be a selective precognition that means she sees how others will die with herself in the role of the victim). Alex trying to take his own life (leading to a redemption arc and a break from the series as he reevaluates his life). Henry, while suspicious of Douglas, got in contact with an old friend who worked at a newspaper (leads to a new character showing up, desperate for a big scoop and forcing Douglas to go underground). Maddy discovering her pregnancy (nature of the conception forces an abortion which conflicts with her own beliefs). James collapses and Douglas discovers he has been cursed (links to the Big Bad who is also a figure from Douglas' past looking for revenge. Creates a Spiderman-like I want you to be safe situation between Douglas and James).

edited 13th Nov '11 4:42:32 AM by JacuzziSplot

No food for the beastmaster. He feeds on the blood of his prey.

My cumulative thoughts on each show's pitch. I might have missed some updates and skipped some posts that didn't catch my eye during a cursory scroll. There are some really cool ideas here, I wonder if TV execs ever steal from anonymous forum posters... that would be so great. ____________________________________________________________________________________

Barely Legal: Gets a little crazy in the plots, but overall solid.

Already Been Chewed News: Very trope-aware, possibly dangerously so. Belongs in a lineup with 30 Rock or HIMYM

The Incidentals: Basically Heroes combined with The Event. I'd worry that people would be turned away by the similarities to Heroes.

Welcome To Hoboken: I could see this as one of those shows that appears on Adult swim for 4 episodes and then mysteriously disappears. Make it with practically no budget and random cameos and it could be a cult classic.

Masks: Kind of creepy, but I like it. Sounds like a very high-budget miniseries, only funny.

Good Times Sometimes: Characters have very little variety. You need to exaggerate them into the Ragtag Gang Of Misfits. It sounds like you're telling stories from your own life, which is great, you just need better character chemistry to make those stories feel less like inside jokes.

Havoc: I don't even. This would piss viewers off to no end and suffer a barrage of attacks by major news networks. I'd totally watch it.

Strangeville: Make it centered around a core set of characters (maybe the people who investigate the weirdness) and you've got an interesting show.

Triquetra: Far to dependent on a deep knowledge of a previous show's universe. I really couldn't understand the description.

Templars: Interesting. The wild anachronism is nice because you can basically answer every accuracy criticism with "because shut up". It would require a ridiculous location budget. I'd really like to hear a plot pitch.

Thanks for the Memories: As long as it's not a drama about the rock star re-learning how to love, I'm in.

Red Light District: What the hell, man! Why does everyone die of drugmurdersex overdose in your shows? Havoc was better.

Highway to Hell: I love how detailed this is. The concept is solid, but why is none of the supernatural stuff worrying to them? Also, I think the most important element of the plot is the dog-and-cat-and-mouse chase, so I don't understand why you'd scrap that in season 2.

Miskatonic: I don't know about his one. Original plots would make or break it.

Insanity: Too intelligent and psychological to be on American TV. For that you need b.s. plot twists and constant retcon like that LOST show I've heard so much about. Condensed into a film, though, it sounds great.

Uneducated Youth: Improves upon the issues "Good Times Sometimes" has with character variety, but seems deliberately cliché. Executed right, it could be good.

Chess: This is the Chuck Norris show. Please make it. Can David have a sidekick who's practically identical to him but ironically useless?

Untitled Wizard Show (above): Do people know he's a wizard? I like the idea of "the spirit", since it can make anyone the Big Bad at will. Some really dark plots... I feel like the sex and alcoholism kind of kill the very nerd-friendly setup. Also, the shapeshifting sounds expensive and doesn't seem to play a huge role in Maddy's character.

Dear lord, had almost completely forgotten I posted that there. The whole thing's gone to shambles, I'm afraid, and I've moved on to other projects. It's still something I'm very much interested in doing, but I've shelved it for the moment.

Maybe you'd be less disappointed if you stopped expecting things to be Carmen Sandiego movies.

Actually, that sounds like something I should probably do just for comic relief purposes. The show's going to be too Grimdark without it. Thanks for the suggestion.

Jesus saves. Gretzky steals, he scores!

Initially they don't know he's a wizard but they find out about his powers fairly quickly when he's forced to use them to protect Elizabeth and Ruth. The town is incredibly insular and pretty small (thirty or forty people) however, so there's little chance of it getting out. Henry's the only person with any ties outside the area and hence the only chance of the knowledge really spreading (as it does come series two). Douglas kinda wins them over throughout the series but initially there's a lot of fear, especially with people dying, which provides the main plot early on.

The alcoholism is kinda important to Henry because it's the main reason he thinks he could be the killer. The sex plot with Maddy is easily the weakest aspect imo (it feels very out of place and I'm not sure about the squick factor). But tonally I was looking at something like True Blood which gets away with a lot more on that front.

Just to be clear, when I say shapeshifting, I mean into specific forms rather than generic changing form which would be much less expensive (use the old disappear behind a tree trick). It also ties into the idea of her not really knowing her own identity yet (she's very young, only been with Douglas maybe a year). Obviously, there's a lot of mileage to be had out of an old, more traditional wizard versus his younger, more modern apprentice (although that's not the focus of the show at all). Shapeshifting would also be her natural magic (every wizard starts with some sort of magical ability and can learn more from there. Douglas has telekinesis for example, while Lily discovers she has pyrokinesis).

Thanks for taking the time to reply though :)

Also, Chess is an awesome idea for a show. Any thoughts on the supporting cast? Seems like it could need a Watson for Chess to explain/bounce ideas off of.

edited 14th Nov '11 12:28:19 PM by JacuzziSplot

No food for the beastmaster. He feeds on the blood of his prey.

I'm unsure here. Are you saying she has to turn into something as opposed to just modifying her appearance? i.e. She can turn into a tiger but can't suddenly make her arms longer.

If you've been watching Grimm, you might notice how cheaply and frequently transformation effects are used. Most networks have room in their budget for a copy of Syntheyes and a freelance animator. I wouldn't short-sell it with a handwave.

She'd have a set of forms she can use (most likely all animals). Similar to Shifters in True Blood. What she can't do is polymorph her body or mimic other people (at least not without first learning their form). Basically, it wouldn't be a special effects mess outside of the transformation which would be fairly basic. Then it would be trained animals/other actors.

No food for the beastmaster. He feeds on the blood of his prey.

I haven't thought of suitable cast members for main characters yet, since I'm probably going to go to the MMA world rather than the acting world for casting purposes anyway (I'd like to justify wide-angle fight scenes and SteadiCam by having actors do their own stunts, rather than resorting to bad camera work/incomprehensible fight scenes just to cover up stunt doubles like the Bourne movies and Taken did).

Some of the Omniscient Council of Vagueness has "usual suspects" that I'm picturing in my head when I write stuff down for this show, though (Michael Emerson, Peter Wingfield, etc.).

edited 14th Nov '11 3:52:17 PM by EnemyMayan

Jesus saves. Gretzky steals, he scores!

We should make a website/Vimeo group dedicated to making short trailers for each series mentioned here! I don't know how many posters are still around the forum, but it would be a pretty cool setup - just making like 10-30 second Crowning Moment of Awesome clips.

I just want to see a sniper get shot with a bazooka.

edited 15th Nov '11 5:00:43 PM by Jergling

Actually, that scene — the way it's currently written anyway — averts any bazooka-in-use tropes in favor of the sniper (who was listening in on an earpiece so he could receive orders to shoot) looking through his scope to verify what Chess said, pulling an Oh, Crap!, packing up his gun, removing his earpiece and leaving. All while Chess taunts the sniper's employer about what unreliable cowards snipers are.

Jesus saves. Gretzky steals, he scores!

I read this and all I can think of is this filmmaking book I got when I was ten (by which point, incidentally, I had known for seven years I wanted to work in film.) A good chunk of the introduction is how irritated the author gets when he inquires about people's projects and they say they're working on the trailer, because you should never do that before you actually finish the work you're making a trailer for.

I've still got that book around, somewhere.

Maybe you'd be less disappointed if you stopped expecting things to be Carmen Sandiego movies.

Hehe. Then "trailer" isn't the right word. I'm thinking of a "30-second pilot," like something you would show a studio to get them interested in your concept.

I found it. It's actually still on my bookshelf, and not in a box somewhere as I had suspected. It's The Beginning Filmmaker's Guide by Renée Harmon, which is actually The Beginning Filmmaker's Guide to Directing and The Beginning Filmmaker's Business Guide rolled into one. It's 400 pages with an extensive glossary and by the time I was twelve I'd read it all the way through five times.

I was a weird kid.

edited 15th Nov '11 5:26:40 PM by Wackd

Maybe you'd be less disappointed if you stopped expecting things to be Carmen Sandiego movies.

To the Wizard show: I like it. But I have a criticism, and one small thing to keep in mind:

1) Agreed with the pregnancy thing. Not for the squick factor, at least for me - I think the concept is very interesting - but it seems a touch out of place, so I suppose it's up to you to make it fit. 2) James and Lily are, unfortunately, two names that are already linked. You can still keep their names as is, but keep it in mind.

And if I claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that I don't know.

As long as we're talking about big cats having sex, did you know that mating is generally non-consensual in felines? The process is extremely painful for the female, as males have barbed penises, and bite their mate to hold her in place during the process.

The more you know... (the worse you feel for this Maddy girl)

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE! GI JOE!

Maybe you'd be less disappointed if you stopped expecting things to be Carmen Sandiego movies.

How would one go about doing that?

To answer the question about why I'd scrap the cat-and-mouse-and-dog chase at the time that I wrote the pitch I had in-depth plans for Seasons 2 & 3 worked out in my head that didn't require that chase (plus, I didn't want the chase going on too long. Eventually people do get bored). Don't ask me what my plans were now; I confess I have forgotten them. And they would be freaked out by the supernatural stuff; it's just that by the time most of the really in-depth plot development occurs they've gotten over the worst of the being freaked out.

edited 16th Nov '11 9:06:11 PM by AmbarSonofDeshar

Ok, bear with me, I don't want to start throwing the B-word around in here carelessly, but have you considered following the British model and planning for a discreet beginning and end of the series?

Click here for some context from Abed!

Whatever this is it can only be watched in the US.

And if the comment about discreet beginning and ending was aimed at me, I know my ending. I just don't have all of the middle.

Riiiiight. I had this feeling in the back of my mind that Tropers didn't like Hulu, but couldn't remember if/why they actually did. I've got nothing then. I'm so used to shows being produced to death that sometimes I forget people plan endings.

@Psychobabble, perhaps if I framed the pregnancy thing better people can judge whether it works or not. Basically, Maddy spends the early episodes being pretty unhappy about what's happened. She's been taken half way across the country, Douglas hasn't really explained why, her teaching has been stalled and nobody is really paying attention to her. She spends some time with Father Jones and he sort of helps her look for the positives rather than focusing on the negatives. But when the town turns on Douglas, she kind of freaks, transforms and takes off into the surrounding countryside. The next episode would see her just roaming, trying to work out what to do and sort of embracing her instincts while transformed. It obviously goes too far and she takes it as a wake up call, pulls herself together and heads back to her friends. It's the payoff from a sort of Heroic BSoD with the pregnancy aspect only cropping up at the end of the series. I'm not sure, without this plot it feels like she's floating and not really doing anything. I don't want to cut her though because we kind of need to see magic from someone else's perspective.

As for James and Lily, can't believe I didn't notice that -_- They're siblings so that should cut down the shipping a fraction. The names are all subject to change though so it's not a huge issue.

Thanks for replying btw, glad you liked it.

No food for the beastmaster. He feeds on the blood of his prey.

Lost and Found (working title):

There are thousands of artifacts lost to history. Golden relics melted by the Nazis, original manuscripts of famous works of politics or literature, the original tapes the moon landing was recorded on, far too much of the first two Doctors' runs...

One man with a time machine is out to save them. He goes to lots of different places in time and space and has adventures retrieving them, places them in a super secret vault so they'll age properly and not look fake, then returns to the present and adds new items to his museum.

Think if Warehouse 13 had a Tardis, and occasionally ran into paradoxes.

Fresh-eyed movie blog

Kind of interesting. I think the whole thing needs greater stakes. I mean, if he fails to retrieve something, the only downside is that he doesn't get to add it to his museum. Instead, how about everything he steals from history ends up having world-altering consequences that he has to ward off for the rest of the episode? I don't know how you'd pull the reset lever at the end of each arc, but you have to remember that the Nazis will always win WWII no matter how small a change was made to history.

Now you're starting to give us better context. One thing you might have issues with is conveying emotion in a mountain lion, unless she doesn't stay transformed all the time up in the mountains. Anyway, you clearly have an idea of the characters' plot arcs. Now I want to know what your main character does. How would you lay out the first half-season (13 episodes)?

I think the reason the pregnancy seemed so weird to us is because you hadn't mentioned shapeshifting before that and it seemed really out of place. Like casually discussing time travel occurring in a regular sitcom. With the context it makes more sense, and I do agree that she needs some more involvement. And I'm with Jergling; I'm curious what Douglas does.

And if I claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that I don't know.