Solve the above problem with violence.

Kill the gas. Kill it with bullets.

Newspaper's here. Too lazy to get it.

Use a rocket-launcher to make carefully-timed explosions to ricochet the newspaper off the debris and into your hand.

Those damn kids are on my lawn again.

Is there a problem that cannot be solved by using gratuitous amounts of bullets?

Someone deleted your save on Pokemon of your choice.

Coerce the nearest Mad Scientist to build you a time machine to reverse the damage.

Your friend ate your cheeseburger, and you are hours away from civilization and food.

edited 5th Apr '10 12:10:03 AM by IceQueen

Eat your friend.

You suck at your favorite video game.

Is there a problem that cannot be solved by using gratuitous ammounts of bullets?

You are awesome at your favorite video game, but your friend is jealous.

edited 5th Apr '10 12:16:40 AM by Shlapintogan

Use the game disk as a shuriken to sever your friend's head.

Your parents grounded you.

edited 5th Apr '10 12:33:49 AM by AXavierB

Blow up the ground.

The moon is mocking you.

Let's moon them.

Someone stole your shampoo.

Burn down a rainforest with a flamethrower and collect the precious natural chemicals to make more shampoo.

You forgot to study for your exam.

Kill your roommate, you'll get automatic As.

You're constipated.

Kill self, clone self.

Find the meaning of life.

TO DESTROY! TO CONQUER! EXTERMINATE!

You are bored in class.

Make yourself less bored by raping and shooting that pretty girl in front of you.

You see the Westboro Baptist Church kick a puppy.

1. Purchase a small, long chainsaw.◊

2. Read this post and learn rumours that fatal abdomen injuries usually take an excruciatingly long time to finally cause death. Also, learn that if a chainsaw can cut through wood at a good pace, flesh and bone should take milliseconds.

2. Drive to their home church.

3. ???

4. RAINING BLOOOOOOD!

You only have 3 minutes to get out of the house, or you won't have enough time to catch your bus to school on foot. Also, your bag isn't packed.

edited 5th Apr '10 10:11:56 AM by Barcode711

Pack your bag in 2 seconds (I can do this) and use a sledgehammer to go through the wall (Red Faction: Guerilla style) and carjack someone to get to the bus stop.

You are out of tomato ketchup.

Use a concussion bomb on the grocer's produce section.

You overslept and have a test starting 53 minutes ago.

Bulldoze through the school, then light your test on fire and tell your teacher you'll make them eat the ashes if they don't give you an instant A.

You are lonely.

Force someone at gunpoint to be your friend.

You have botched a spot

You can't botch blowing up the entire ring.

Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb.

Smash the bomb.s timer

The bomb will now go off 2x as fast.

Throw it at someone. If it does not blow up, shoot it until it explodes.

I LOVE THIS GAME

Your son is being bullied at school.

Shoot the bastard.

You have 3 seconds to live.

^^ Train him in the art of CQC with a USP .45 Tactical and a combat knife. Also the stealth skills for how to get away with it.

Your TV set breaks while watching your favorite show.

edited 5th Apr '10 12:19:49 PM by MajorTom

Threaten a TV repairman to fix it.

Your pencil broke.