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Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#26: Nov 10th 2010 at 7:42:15 PM

Can I have a new class? Preferably one that won't eat me?

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
LolipodDistortion HIP HOP HIPSTER from Austin, Texas Since: Aug, 2010
HIP HOP HIPSTER
#27: Nov 10th 2010 at 7:42:47 PM

How about Lolicon 101?

Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#28: Nov 10th 2010 at 7:44:00 PM

NO

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree Since: Dec, 2009
Gristknife
#29: Nov 10th 2010 at 7:55:57 PM

...And that's how the Russians almost won the second Egyptian invasion. See ya tomorrow!

-heads to lounge-

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#30: Nov 10th 2010 at 7:57:48 PM

Now I shall be having the teach of Engrish!

Students are the being learn!

Reading of the textbook of the paged 323 is the work to be home.

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#31: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:01:35 PM

So, class, in Goldfinger, when our villain has 007 strapped to a table and completely at his mercy, what does he do? TYLER!

[Points to "Tyler," forcing him to answer the question.]

Oh, uh, ummmmm... shoot him?

NO, Tyler! How is Bond ever going to escape and defeat the villain if Goldfinger just shoots him?

edited 10th Nov '10 8:02:54 PM by SeanMurrayI

Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#32: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:03:35 PM

That is being the class end! Dismissing!

-Heads to teacher's lounge to make nachos-

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
LolipodDistortion HIP HOP HIPSTER from Austin, Texas Since: Aug, 2010
HIP HOP HIPSTER
#33: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:10:53 PM

Billy, come here. We need to talk about your "essay". Really, it's a stretch to call what you made an essay. It's more like a complete and utter rape of the english language and Robert Anton Wilsons beloved vision of anarchy. Go to the principals office.

Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#34: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:14:27 PM

Now, you see, class, the proper way to come up with a full name for a villain goes as follows:

For a first name, all you need is the name of a deadly chemical or disease, preferably one with only two syllables.

Getting a last name is a bit trickier but just as easy. All you need is a compound of two nouns that sound totally evil or dark. The first noun should preferably be one syllable while the second one should have two.

Feel free to experiment, but with the above formula, you'll never be let down. Hemlock Spikedemon, Anthrax Ghoulshadow, Cancer Crowstabber, Sarin Bearnazi... You get the idea.

Now, to come up with aliases for them, that takes a little more skill...

edited 10th Nov '10 8:15:12 PM by SeanMurrayI

Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#35: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:16:22 PM

-Makes too many nachos, and offers some to Mr. Joe-

So, how's the Alternate History class doing?

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
LolipodDistortion HIP HOP HIPSTER from Austin, Texas Since: Aug, 2010
HIP HOP HIPSTER
#36: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:33:30 PM

-comes into the lounge-
Sometimes I don't know why I bother.

Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#37: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:40:56 PM

Coming up with names for patriotic All-American heroes is even more fun. All you gotta do is turn any two or three words in the American National Anthem into a person's name, and you're done.

For the ladies, there's Dawn Earlylight, but women are usually deemed "too silly" for this kind of character archetype so I'd suggest more masculine names, such as Theo Bombursting, Andy Brightstars, and my personal favorite... Rocket Redglare.

For your homework assignment tonight, I want you to come up with five of these.

edited 10th Nov '10 8:49:08 PM by SeanMurrayI

Anomalocaris20 from Sagittarius A* Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
#38: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:41:12 PM

-Offers Mr. Distortion nachos-

You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
HairWhippedByHair My hair is whippable. Since: Nov, 2010
My hair is whippable.
#39: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:50:10 PM

Hello students, I'm Mr. Marty Stu. I graduated from Harvard when I was 3 and got 11 Ph.Ds when I was 4, became a billionaire when I was 7, cured cancer and AIDS before you learned how to factor polynomials, created a time machine to destroy Hitler into pieces [No Billy, you don't know him because he doesn't exist anymore], I am a top agent provocateur, am incredibly handsome with a hot body and a mysterious and dark past, and I also made out with all of your mothers last night. Yes, that includes you too Billy.

And you are going to learn about [DATA EXPUNGED].

No, I absolutely never forget my password. And I never have a suspiciously specific denial.
LolipodDistortion HIP HOP HIPSTER from Austin, Texas Since: Aug, 2010
HIP HOP HIPSTER
#40: Nov 10th 2010 at 8:52:08 PM

It's fine, I brought my own lunch
-pulls out Billy's severed hand-

Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree Since: Dec, 2009
Gristknife
#41: Nov 10th 2010 at 9:30:08 PM

I'm good too. So how about this Billy kid? I've got him for home-room. What a yutz.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
LolipodDistortion HIP HOP HIPSTER from Austin, Texas Since: Aug, 2010
HIP HOP HIPSTER
#42: Nov 10th 2010 at 9:31:07 PM

Yup. He probably doesn't know his head from his asshole.

Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets
HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree Since: Dec, 2009
Gristknife
#43: Nov 10th 2010 at 9:38:20 PM

Good crop this year, only two klanners and one Nazi sympathizer.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
HairWhippedByHair My hair is whippable. Since: Nov, 2010
My hair is whippable.
#44: Nov 10th 2010 at 10:22:00 PM

Don't forget the goffs, they seem to gravitate to me. Especially this uber hawt goff named Ebony whose mere presence makes me a pedo (though it's actually ephebophilia).

Brb, getting your wife (or husband because they all want me) and a Country Music Award.

(that My Immortal bit felt forced).

edited 10th Nov '10 10:23:49 PM by HairWhippedByHair

No, I absolutely never forget my password. And I never have a suspiciously specific denial.
TsundeRay HOORAY! from Santa Clara, California Since: May, 2009
HOORAY!
#45: Nov 10th 2010 at 10:45:49 PM

(Programming class...)

"Hey, I'm trying to write a program that multiplies things by 2, but I keep getting an error."

Lemme see...

int multiply(int x) {  
double x;
return x;
}
...Hold on, I'll fix this. This may hurt a bit. (PAWNCH!!)  *

edited 10th Nov '10 10:50:46 PM by TsundeRay

http://twitter.com/raydere | http://raydere.tumblr.com
MidnightVelvet Since: Apr, 2014
#46: Nov 10th 2010 at 10:54:06 PM

No no no, you're doing it all wrong. That is not how you insert that in there. Tilt it a little to the right... There you go, that's it! Now for your next lesson, grab your textbooks and turn to page 211, and read the section about selfcest and twincest.

SunsetSempiternum from Your mom Since: Dec, 1969
#47: Nov 10th 2010 at 10:55:31 PM

Hello, Fetishes class! I'm miss Velvet's TA, Ms. Sempiternum! We'll be reenacting the images you find in your textbooks! Remember to watch closely; We're only doing this once!

"我爱你~" -Chinese INUH to Metalhead467
FuschlatzOReilly Since: Dec, 1969
#48: Nov 10th 2010 at 10:56:20 PM

For those who don't understand Ray's last post, the statement "double x;" in C# doesn't actually multiply x by 2. Instead, it declares x as what is called a double-precision floating point number, i.e. a very accurate decimal number.

Class, can anyone tell me what this does:

namespace GuessingGame
{
    public partial class Form1 : Form
    {
        public Form1()
        {
            InitializeComponent();
        }

        // Declare some variables
        int randomNumber = 0;
        int tries = 0;
        string defaultInputMessage = "Guess number here";
        
        // When you click 'Start Game'
        private void start_btn_Click(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            // Set the number for this round
            Random rand = new Random();
            randomNumber = rand.Next(101);
            tries = 9;

            // Place appropriate messages
            result_lbl.Text = "Take a guess!";
            stat_lbl.Text = "Guess a number in the input field.";
            this.Text = "Guessing Game (" + tries.ToString() + ")";

            // Set up controls so you can actually play
            textBox1.Enabled = true;
            textBox1.Text = defaultInputMessage;
            guess_btn.Enabled = true;
        }

        // Show help message
        private void halp()
        {
            //explain how to play
            MessageBox.Show("Guessing Game by Gareth Nettle-Smythe"
                          + "To play:"
                          + " - Click 'New Game.' A number between 0 and 100 will be generated at random."
                          + " - Guess the number by entering it in the text box."
                          + " - Click 'Guess.' If you entered the right number, you win."
                          + "       Otherwise, it will say 'Too high...' or 'Too low...'"
                          + " - Watch out: you only have 9 attempts to get the answer right, or you lose.", "HALP");
        }

        #region Various halp() invocations
        // If you select 'Help...' in the right-click menu
        private void toolStripMenuItem1_Click(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            halp();
        }
        // If you click the help button in the title bar (well, it's SUPPOSED to be there)
        private void Form1_HelpButtonClicked(object sender, CancelEventArgs e)
        {
            halp();
        }
        // General help invocations, e.g. pressing F1
        private void Form1_HelpRequested(object sender, HelpEventArgs hlpevent)
        {
            halp();
        }
        #endregion

        // Making sure the 'Quit' button exists for a reason
        private void quit_btn_Click(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            Close();
        }

        #region Small extra for input field
        private void textBox1_Enter(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            if (textBox1.Text == defaultInputMessage)
            {
                textBox1.Text = "";
            }
        }

        private void textBox1_Leave(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            if (textBox1.Text == "")
            {
                textBox1.Text = defaultInputMessage;
            }
        }
        #endregion
        
        // When you click 'Guess'
        private void guess_btn_Click(object sender, EventArgs e)
        {
            amIRite(textBox1.Text);
            textBox1.Text = defaultInputMessage;
        }

        // Feed this function your guess and if you got it right, you win
        private void amIRite(string g)
        {
            if (textBox1.Text != defaultInputMessage && textBox1.Text != "")
            {
                // Declare integer
                int guess;
                    
                // Good ol' try-'n'-catch
                try
                {
                    guess = int.Parse(g);
                }
                catch (Exception ex)
                {
                    result_lbl.Text = "Uh, what?";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "Not a valid number: "" + textBox1.Text + """;
                    guess = 0;
                }

                // If you're out of guesses...
                if (tries == 1 && guess != randomNumber)
                {
                    MessageBox.Show("Your previous guess was incorrect."
                                  + "Unfortunately, you have no more tries left.", "You Lose");
                    tries = 0;

                    // You've lost now, so...
                    textBox1.Enabled = false;
                    guess_btn.Enabled = false;

                    result_lbl.Text = "You lose!";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "You ran out of tries before you guessed the number right.";
                    this.Text = "Guessing Game";
                }

                if (guess == randomNumber) // You are winner! Hahaha.
                {
                    tries—;
                    result_lbl.Text = "You win!";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "Yes, the number was " + guess.To String() + ".";
                    this.Text = "Guessing Game";

                    // The game's finished now, so...
                    textBox1.Enabled = false;
                    guess_btn.Enabled = false;
                }
                else if (guess > randomNumber && guess < 100) // YOU'RE TOO FRICKEN' HIGH UP!!
                {
                    tries—;
                    result_lbl.Text = "Too high...";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "The number is lower than " + guess.To String() + ".";
                    this.Text = "Guessing Game (" + tries.To String() + ")";

                }
                else if (guess < randomNumber && guess > 0) // Now you're not high up enough.
                {
                    tries—;
                    result_lbl.Text = "Too low...";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "The number is higher than " + guess.To String() + ".";
                    this.Text = "Guessing Game (" + tries.To String() + ")";
                }
                else if (guess <= 0 || guess >= 100)
                {
                    result_lbl.Text = "Uh, what?";
                    stat_lbl.Text = "Outside the valid guess spectrum: " + guess + "";
                }
            }
        }

        // Triggered when you press a key and invokes amIRite if the key is Enter
        private void textBox1_KeyPress(object sender, KeyPressEventArgs e)
        {
            if (e.KeyChar == (char)13)
            {
                amIRite(textBox1.Text);
                textBox1.Text = "";
            };
        }
    }
}

Speaking of Ray, I'm kinda glad to have found another C# student on this site.

edited 10th Nov '10 11:32:30 PM by FuschlatzOReilly

LandOfGold Since: Dec, 1969
#49: Nov 11th 2010 at 1:39:53 AM

"Kindergardeners? But, sir, we're all freshm-" "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR GRADE IS!"

TsundeRay HOORAY! from Santa Clara, California Since: May, 2009
HOORAY!
#50: Nov 11th 2010 at 3:14:22 AM

(Video game genre appreciation class...)

Let's talk about first-person shooters.

"Halo is the best game evar!!!1"
"No man, it's all about Call Of Duty you retard." (argument goes on for another 20 seconds)

...

QUAD DAMAGE. (fires rocket lawnchair)

edited 11th Nov '10 3:15:37 AM by TsundeRay

http://twitter.com/raydere | http://raydere.tumblr.com

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