Gallant and Goofus

Goofus did it. And he didn't make any effort to hide the evidence, so much so that he left a trail of clues right up to where he is right now.

Gallant bought a self-driving car.

Goofus bought a normal car, treated it like a self-driving car, and then crashed.

Gallant uses his medicine properly.

Goofus sells his meds on the streets

Gallant does not thirst for war, but will take up arms if he must.

Goofus is a Blood Knight who starts War for Fun and Profit.

Gallant puts down his gun when ordered to by the villain so they can have a mano-y-mano fist fight, only to pull out a second gun at the last second and shoot him in the face while his guard is down.

Goofus not only asks for a mano-y-mano fight, he discards all his weapons and ties both of his arms behind his back. The villain then shoots him in the face.

Gallant makes sure to treat his pets well.

Goofus regularly buys more and more pets, normal and exotic, and abuses them horribly. His third dog died from starvation in a basement. His fifth cat killed herself by dropping from a window after what he did to her. Goofus hanged his pet pig by his intestines, and forced a group of rodents, parrots, insects and lizards into a psychological horror trap room even John Kramer would think would be excessive. Even the mosquitoes are terrified of Goofus.

Gallant, in the year of the Apocalypse, makes sure to protect all humanity from the encroaching horrors and establish a stable, well-protected democracy not bound by any depraved cult or idea.

In the year of the Apocalypse, Goofus takes over the Cult of Azathoth, and attempts to awaken said horror. Among the offerings are many human sacrifices.

Gallant knows how to successfully turn a Deal with the Devil to his favor while leaving both parties satisfied.

edited 20th May '16 6:30:07 PM by InfinityRyujin

Goofus ends up making a deal that results in his death 2 seconds later.

Gallant writes good comics.

bump.

Goofus wrote an x-rated Sonic the Hedgehog web comic that he gave up on after three panels, with only two comments, both calling the whole endeavor "really gay."

Gallant makes a card for his grandmother.

Goofus makes a really crude some.e.card for his grandma.

Gallant follows the Manual of Style when he edits pages.

Goofus is so brazenly individualistic that he has made up his own rules for English grammar, spelling and punctuation. He will not follow any one else's rules and will frequently "correct" sentences that he doesn't like so that they follow his own esoteric grammatical rules.

Gallant got a cat recently.

edited 27th May '16 8:21:04 PM by lewattoo

Goofus killed Gallant's cat recently.

Gallant is always caring, always there, and is reprocreative of others affections, for love.

Goofus is a constantly absent sociopathic sex fiend.

Gallant is the knight in shining armor.

Sir Goofus rescues princesses in order to enslave them.

Gallant does random acts of kindness and shares them online.

edited 27th May '16 10:12:49 PM by TroperNo9001

Goofus (suprisingly) understands that Random Acts of Kindness are to be kept secret, otherwise you're just saying "look at how awesome I am" to everyone.

Gallant is upset at the sudden role reversal.

Goofus exploits this to swindle others.

Gallant knows that chain messages are bogus and doesn't continue them.

Goofus is delighted and always rubs it in Gallant's face, even though Law of Random Acts of Kindness does not excuse him from being a jerk.

Goofus continues them, always.

Gallant the Uranian, in the face of his world slowly freezing to death, has been funding the construction of Uranian surface cities that would house Uranians if the underground loses its heat. Gallant also funds interracial rocket missions that would transport heat from the Sun to the Outer Solar System, as Uranus, Pluto and Neptune need that heat.

edited 28th May '16 1:02:25 AM by arcada188

Goofus the Uranian does absolutely nothing for his planet.

Gallant reads a chapter of a book every day.

So does Goofus. Unfortunately, his book is Fifty Shades of Grey

Gallant is a pretty cool guy who kills aleins and doesn't afraid of anything.

Goofus sells humanity out to have a cushy position as Administrator of Earth.

Reverend Gallant helps the poor, tends to the sick, and helps sinners the best he can.

edited 28th May '16 8:05:14 AM by TheFarmboy

Reverend Goofus molests young teenagers, sells cocaine disguised as sugar and behind the walls, and sold out the entire church after losing his money at a casino.

Gallant the Zookeeper feeds his animals, cares about them and makes sure that these unique individuals who have personalities have great lives.

Goofus sucks at zookeeping. I hear he took a gorilla to TGIFriday's!

Freebie!

Gallant the Jural, in the wake of death of their military, protects the Jural Seijin and estabilishes a democratic republic which is on good terms with humans.

Goofus the human listens to Ken and drives the Jurals into extinction anyway.

Gallant is a honest politician who serves his country well.