![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I would like to hear some 
United Earth
Do the US have a Blackadder equivalent to deliver those?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
Gomer Pyle or one of the doctors form MASH.
edited 24th Jan '18 6:18:51 PM by TuefelHundenIV
Who watches the watchmen?
This one's a classic, I remember hearing it from my dad a few times.
So a Ranger is on leave down south and he wants a pair of genuine alligator boots. he heads out to a little shop on the edge of the swamp and tries to haggle with the shopkeeper over a good looking pair of boots. The shopkeep won't budge so he says "maybe I'll just head out into the swamp and kill an alligator, see if I can't get some boots made at a decent price."
The shopkeep says "be my guest, and keep an eye out. Two Marines said the same thing to me a few days ago and they're still not back."
So the Ranger heads out into the swamp, and after a few hours he comes up on two guys standing waist deep in the water. He figures these must be the Marines the shopkeep mentioned so he goes to talk to them, but suddenly an alligator jumps out of the water at the two Marines. They wrestle with it and cut its throat, then drag it up to the beach where the Ranger sees a huge pile of dead gators. The two Marines flip the fresh kill over and one yells out "Damn! This one's not wearing boots either!"
They should have sent a poet.
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
ROFLMAO.
Who watches the watchmen?
Oh, bother.
Huh, I heard a variant of that, except it was a Dumb Blonde joke.
Disgusted, but not surprised
LMAO ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
edited 24th Jan '18 6:51:39 PM by TheWildWestPyro
I'd imagine there's variants of it for pretty much every imaginable group under the sun.
My dad was a Navy guy so he was always ready with a comeback, especially when it came to Marines.
They should have sent a poet.
Organized Canine Bureau Special Agent
https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/news/20180125_05/
ICAN is calling the kettle black for all countries that have a nuke capability in their militaries during a talk in Davos, especially when it comes to the likes of North Korea.
"Exit muna si Polgas. Ang kailangan dito ay si Dobermaxx!"
Now I'm imagining that joke, but with a pair of ditzy blonde girls shanking an alligator.
An Army General, Marine General, Navy Admiral, and an Air Force General are having lunch together, and engaging in some good old boasting about the bravery of their men. After a bit, they decide to prove it.
The general turns to one of his soldiers:
"Soldier!" "Yes, Sir!" "Stop that tank!" "Yes, Sir!"
The soldier promptly runs into the street and gets pancaked trying to stop the tank.
The Marine General scoffs, and turns to one of his Marines.
"Devil Dog!" "Yes, Sir!" "Hit that artillery shell with a hammer!" "Oohrah, Sir!"
The Marine starts beating on the artillery shell with a hammer, and is promptly blown to smithereens.
The Admiral smirks, and turns to one of his sailors.
"Sailor!" "Yes, Sir!" "Go swim out into the harbor, and catch the anchor from that ship!" "Aye aye, Sir!"
The sailor swims out in to the harbor, tries to catch the anchor, and is dragged to the bottom of the harbor, where he drowns.
The Air Force general watches all of this with a calculating look. Wiping the corner of his lip with a napkin before neatly folding it up and laying it on his empty plate, the general turns to one of his airmen.
"Airman!" "Yes, Sir!" "Go catch that bomber when it lands!" "Go fuck yourself, Sir!"
"Gentlemen," the Air Force general says as he beams proudly at the gobsmacked officers sitting around the table, "that is bravery."
Oh, bother.
The Dumb Blonde variant I read had one blonde woman singlehandedly wipe out the alligator population in the swamp with a rifle while complaining about the lack of boots.
I heard the same joke too with the addition that the Airman was smiling when he told his CO to fuck himself.
Disgusted, but not surprised
A sailor is in a bar and he leans over to the guy next to him and says "hey, want to hear a Marine joke?"
The guy looks pissed and he says "just so you know buddy I'm a Marine, and so are my two friends here. Do you really want to tell that joke?"
The sailor steps back and says "no way, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
They should have sent a poet.
Organized Canine Bureau Special Agent
Oh snap.
"Exit muna si Polgas. Ang kailangan dito ay si Dobermaxx!"
Eh, it's always been suspected. Just no real evidence surfaced. Even the letter in Finnish doesn't directly mention them executing anyone, but that they were definitely aware of them and thought that they were better utilised fighting Russians. It's definitely a possibility though.
edited 25th Jan '18 2:55:50 AM by TerminusEst
Si Vis Pacem, Para Perkele
Ha!
Oh boy. This will put the historiography of WW 2 Finland into a very new light - although I'm sure, as you said, it's been suspected for quite a while now.
edited 25th Jan '18 9:08:32 AM by TheWildWestPyro
Organized Canine Bureau Special Agent
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/mario-dutil-military-judge-charged-1.4504066
Canadian Forces NIS is investigating a military judge... First time I heard about this kind of case in Canada.
"Exit muna si Polgas. Ang kailangan dito ay si Dobermaxx!"
The Mod with the Migraine
We all know that suicide is a bigger risk for vets than civilians, but a new study actually breaks down all kinds of risk markers, including being married or single. [[labelnote:Full article text]]Emphasis mine.
Researchers reviewed survey responses from 772 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans and found variations in suicide risk based on age, income, marital status and religious beliefs. Being married significantly increased the risk, researchers concluded.
“It certainly makes sense when you think about it,” said Crystal Park, a psychology professor at the University of Connecticut and one of the co-authors of the study. “There are added pressures that come with maintaining a relationship and meeting household needs. People may have expectations when they’re away, and when they return it’s not what they imagined, the romance may not be there. It’s just the daily grind and that can drive up stress levels and increase feelings of despair.”
The study was funded by the VA and published in the Archives of Suicide Research.
According to the latest available data from the VA, an average of 20 veterans succumbed to suicide every day in 2014. The suicide rate for veterans is significantly higher than for civilians, and the difference for women is even greater. In 2014, 19 female veterans for every 100,000 died by suicide – more than 2 1/2 times greater than civilian women.
New findings published in this study confirmed VA statistics that show women veterans have higher risk of suicide than men.
Researchers also found older veterans — ones in their 40s and 50s — have higher rates of suicidal thoughts than veterans in their 20s. Veterans who are negative toward religion and spirituality are also at higher risk of suicide, the study concluded.
Even with changes in income, age and feelings toward religion, married veterans have higher suicide risk than veterans who’ve never been married.
Researchers created a high-risk scenario — veterans who are 50-years-old, low-income and experience high depression — and predicted how many experience suicidal thoughts or have attempted suicide, using findings from the survey. In that scenario, 41 percent of married male veterans struggle with suicidal thoughts or already have attempted suicide, compared to 27 percent of single male veterans.
For women, the difference between being married and single is even greater. In the same scenario — 50, low-income with high depression — 45 percent of married women veterans previously attempted suicide or had suicidal thoughts, researchers predicted, and 22 percent of single women veterans have.
The findings point to the need for gender-specific support options and more focus on helping veterans re-integrate immediately after military service, the study stated.
VA Secretary David Shulkin said recently that the agency will work with the Defense Department to put more focus on veterans in the first year after they exit the military. Earlier this month, President Donald Trump signed an executive order paving the way for service members to be enrolled automatically into VA mental health care services.
United Earth
So basically if you want to not kill yourself after serving, join the priesthood?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
100 years ago, the Finnish Civil War started.
What a fucking mess.
Si Vis Pacem, Para Perkele
United Earth
Congratulations on your independence!
Or am I mixing up dates?
Did you go to war with each other right after kicking the Russians out?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Independence was declared on the December 4th 1917, Independence day was voted to be the 6th. The Soviets granted it, but in 1918 promptly began supporting and arming the Finnish Red Guard. The Civil War officially is dated to have started on January 26th. Skirmishes between Whites and Reds had happened here and there through the month.
edited 27th Jan '18 5:09:26 AM by TerminusEst
Si Vis Pacem, Para Perkele
Organized Canine Bureau Special Agent
To those keeping an eye on Indian military affairs, Duterte visited India and Modi pledged economic and military support, the latter by providing weapons and equipment to the Philippine military.
This is months after GRSE failed a bid in the modernization of the Navy.
"Exit muna si Polgas. Ang kailangan dito ay si Dobermaxx!"
Cape Malleum Majorem
One joke that might explain inter-service rivalry a bit better is the one which explains the differences in mind-set.
A soldier, a sailor, a marine, and an airman are each shown a small house on a piece of property and are given the following order: "Secure the building."
The soldier responds by locking all the doors and latching all the windows, posting guards at the front, rear, and side entrances, and having a roving patrol around the perimeter of the property every half-hour.
The sailor prepares for hurricane conditions by nailing plywood over the windows, bolting the furniture down to the floor, and packing up anything breakable and stowing it in a locked cabinet.
The marine assembles a squad of riflemen, kicks open the front door, tosses a grenade inside, then does a room-by-room sweep-and-clear, shooting into every closet, cupboard, cabinet, and dark corner where an enemy might be hiding.
The airman goes down to the real estate agent's office, and negotiates a five-year lease on the property with an option to buy.
edited 27th Jan '18 5:54:26 AM by pwiegle
This Space Intentionally Left Blank.
Yeah, that should have never happened. Real life isn't like Full Metal Jacket.
Good old interservice rivalry though. I've got a surprisingly good range of marine jokes.
They should have sent a poet.