Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted! You are now in the manga, so it is real to you!

I wish for unlimited wishes.

You get it, but you are brain dead.

I wish I could lick my elbow

Granted, your arm falls off when you lick it

I wish no-one would get ’d on this forum.

Granted! Everyone dies, thus preventing it!

I wish someone would sign up for tvTropes Mafia.

Granted, only one noob signed up for it and nobody else.

I wish I won't choke on my aspirations.

Granted. Breathing won't kill you.

I wish to start a Power Metal band.

edited 10th Jan '18 9:50:23 AM by TotallyNotAnAlien

Granted, but you don't finish it. Now it's just an ordinary metal: tin.

I wish for a Literal Genie.

Granted! You literally get a genie!

I wish that wish-granting entities interpret wishes in accordance with the will of the wisher.

Wish granted, but this used up the last wish your ever get.

I wish I had a puppy sized elephant.

Granted, but you're now the same size relative to the elephant that a normal-size human would be relative to a standard-sized elephant. Have fun struggling to reach the phone!

I wish there was a 3D Sonic game that was as polished and ingeniously designed as Sonic 3 & Knuckles and/or Sonic Mania.

Granted. Hope you enjoy Sonic 3D and Knuckles and Sonic Mania 3D, because those are the last Sonic games you'll ever be allowed to play. Everything else before and after has officially been declared non-canon, taken off every available market, and wiped from everyone's memories.

I wish all news, regardless of its source, was "fake news".

edited 10th Jan '18 4:19:15 PM by WillyFourEyes

wish granted, well it might be afterall you can trust this post it is fake news.

i wish i was bigger

Granted. "I" is a bigger letter now.

I wish I knew wilderness survival.

Granted, now you have to live in the wilderness and never return to civilization.

I wish I knew how to rollerskate.

Granted, you can't even afford to buy a pair of roller shoes.

I wish Sumire Uesaka would play as a badass Russian Dark Action Girl in any live action film.

Done. She somehow manages to star in a Russian action film directly financed by the Kremlin, angering her Japanese fans for selling out to a foreign government.

I wish the American Civil War hadn't happened, and that the country hadn't relied on foreign slaves to expand the country.

Granted, it now run by Native American cults, and a particular cruel, man-eating cult that runs by Human Sacrifice 24/7, and we no longer have English as international language.

I wish I can play Dark Souls with Ai Nonaka... as a Dark Spirit.

You can!! You are SO excited that you Stress Vomit, which grosses her out, and she leaves. Forever.

I wish for a pet Dachshund.

Granted, but it doesn't get along well with your corgi. Looks like it's time to return it to the pound.

I wish that every website had a nighttime color scheme.

Granted. It's nighttime all the time.

I wish I knew German.

Granted. You now know German but forget how to speak English.

I wish for a loving, supportive, attentive, sane, faithful girlfriend who I find attractive.

Granted, you're married to your pet dog, enjoy your Interspecies Romance.

I wish I can become an Eldritch Abomination.

edited 12th Jan '18 11:39:55 AM by Mhazard

granted, but you are banished to the deepest depths outside time and space.

i wish I didnt suck at math

Granted, you blow at math instead.

I wish the Celts dominated Britain.

Britain becomes so weak that the entire country is invaded by a mere basketball team.

I wish that I got a bunch of monopoly money, and then it became the world's universal currency making me the richest man alive.