Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. The mating ritual is very graphically obscene, squicking out everyone and causing even the Harry/(insert character other than Ginny here) shippers to want him to go back with her.

I wish that there was one more state in the United States.

Granted, but it is barely self-sufficient and constantly struggles with financial issues, dragging the rest of the country down.

I wish I was stronger.

Granted. You are as strong as a 1 year old. Everyone else has the strength of a newborn.

I wish for this wish to be a lie.

Genie punches you in the face.

I wish for a new nice meme.

Granted, it get deadpooled almost immediately.

I wish I had all volumes of the Attack On Titan manga.

Granted. They're written in an undecipherable language.

I wish my ebook reader had so much more space.

Granted. Archive Panic ensues.

I wish for Halo Wars 2 to not be a disappointment.

Granted. It's a Mega-disappointment.

I wish that I had Ice powers.

Granted, you get hypothermia [1] whenever you try to use them.

I wish for a taco.

Granted. It's under cooked and infected with E Coli

I wish healthy food tasted better

Granted. Now healthy food is an addictive substance worse than heroin, crack, and LSD combined.

I wish that it didn't hurt to shave my chin.

All your hair has fallen out, and you can't regrow it.

I wish that cancer didn't exist.

Granted. Instead of cancer, we now have a set number of years to live, and we can't change it.

I wish I had more non-counterfeit american dollars.

Granted, the currency collapses so your dollars are useless.

I wish to play Under Tale!

Granted, but your computer overheats and crashes every seven minutes of playing time.

I wish there was an Original Xbox emulator that was 100% compatible with every single game ever made for the console.

Granted, it is too expensive for you to afford.

I wish for power.

granted, you get a cadmium nickel battery.

i wish my hands weren't dolphins

Granted. Your hands are piranhas now.

I wish I had some Kool-Aid.

Granted, Jim Jones gives you some.

I wish my I Pad charge lasted longer.

It lasts one millisecond longer.

I wish for some hentai.

Granted, it's badly animated with boring sex scenes.

I wish Americans were less dumb.

Granted. They also become increasingly aggressive.

I wish to have the best computer ever built with unlimited storage space, every PC game and application ever made, and unnaturally fast internet connection.

Yes, but it's stolen, and you don't know the password. The cops arrest you.

I wish they would stop making reality tv.

Granted. Now every American knows lots of random trivia but nothing of important stuff.

Granted. Now reality TV goes by a different name.

I wish the Giant Squid took advantage of its tentacles THAT way

edited 20th Jun '16 9:51:23 AM by dysphere

Granted. I don't know how you expected to survive that encounter. Giant Squids are very, very large and living your hentai fantasies tears you to shreds

I wish I made a six figure salary, through completely legal means

edited 20th Jun '16 10:00:06 AM by Cailleach