Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. They will be undone at the same time. Some time. Like, I don't know. Some day not very soon.

I wish Skype wasn't being such a bitch.

Granted. It's now being less of a bitch.

I wish I didn't have hypothermia. I never did get that sweater.

edited 27th Feb '15 10:35:07 AM by yellowturtle

Granted, you have hyperthermia.

I WISH TO ACCELERATE THE TIMELINE OF MY PREVIOUS WISH SO THAT IT WILL HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY

Granted. It happens, now... however, when the timeline accelerated, it fucked things up and your wishes didn't get undone, after all.

I wish my ganglions would go away.

( How's that corrupting?)

edited 27th Feb '15 10:45:37 AM by Elva

Granted, your wish to retcon your previous wishes is erased, creating a paradox.

I wish for a jar of grape jelly to appear in front of someone who needs grape jelly

The jar appeared in front of the most cold-blooded and cunning psychopathic murderer in the known world. Have fun surviving!

I wish there were more non-Japanese companies putting out physical game releases for the PS Vita.

Granted; enjoy blindness.

Granted: Hatred is now a Vita exclusive.

I wish I had the power to read minds (including over the internet).

Granted. You know everything you never EVER wanted to.

I wish it wasn't Friday.

edited 27th Feb '15 1:59:10 PM by yellowturtle

It's now monday. No weekend for you.

I wish I knew how to read.

Granted, but you can only read Phoenician.

I wish for good luck during my black belt test tomorrow.

You pass the test but they spill white paint over your new belt.

I wish I could shoot laser beams. Pew! Pew! Pew!

Granted: you can. Though only at yourself.

I wish the league cup final was tomorrow instead of Sunday.

Turns out it is tomorrow. But you don't find that out until sunday.

I wish I had a pokemans.

Granted, whatever the hell that is.

I wish... I don't even know what I wish. My mind has been scrambled and turned to mush by all the wish-unwishing-wishing. I wish I knew what to wish, and wished it, and unwished it after wishing it.

Granted. Your first wish was to play the game, and you undid that wish so you didn't play the game.

Disclaimer to outsiders, his first wish was probably not "I wish to play the game.

I wish to play this game.

Granted. It's also the only game you can ever play again.

I wish it wasn't so fucking hard to install Minecraft mods.

Granted. Now that it's easier to install them, you no longer appreciate them.

Since my first wish wasn't to play the game (good catch, Willie!) I unwish my previous wish to unwish the wish that I wished to wish and unwish, and instead wish the same wish to wish and then unwish the wished wish, unwishing it.

edited 27th Feb '15 3:36:30 PM by SolipSchism

Granted. I'm sparing you the details, but the whole thing results in you being banned. And sentenced to jail.

I wish my orchid wasn't unwell.

Granted, but your orchid has now grown so large so fast that your house has exploded from the sheer force of its growth.

I wish that my English grade was better.

Granted, it's better than F. Enjoy your D.

I wish to undo all the corruptions that have been used in this thread, but not the wishes.

The corruption is replaced with other, worse corruption. Also scurvy.

I wish to drive a tank.

A water tank is modified to be a unique but highly inefficient vehicle for you.

I wish for a supremely powerful enchanted spear.

edited 27th Feb '15 4:23:27 PM by Laicamir

Granted, It's a Living Weapon that is wild, rampant, and always trying to kill you. Oh, it can float and move on its own too.

I wish to have a high-quality, well built, yet mundane sword at abolutely no cost to anybody.

you are so clumsy you stab yourself with it, constatntly

I wish for a genuine suit of armor

There are tiny holes in it that make your Achilles heels very obvious.

I wish for the elimination forum games to be popular again.