Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. Your lifespan is shortened.

I wish I felt better.

edited 1st Feb '15 5:08:42 PM by MiscellaneousSoup

Granted. When the word "better" is said near you, you feel it punching you in the gut.

I wish for the world to be anime styled.

Granted, but you always see stars in the corners of your vision.

I wish my throbbing headache went away.

edited 1st Feb '15 5:33:38 PM by DiscoDancer

Granted, but now you have severe neck pain.

I wish to control my anger better.

Granted, at the cost of uncontrollable sadness.

I wish I was more motivated to do helpful things in the stuff I'm involved in.

Granted. Those helpful things get you shot somewhere down the road.

I wish for a long, peaceful life.

Granted, but it bores you so much, you'd rather die anyway.

I wish to be a Bold Explorer with Plot Armor.

Granted. Your love interests keep dying due to not having Plot Armor.

I wish to be the best, around, no-one's ever gonna keep me down...

Aren't they meant to be corruptions, instead of bonuses?

edited 2nd Feb '15 3:34:24 AM by engie

Lonely at the Top

I wish to have the job of my dreams

Granted, you have the job of your dreams in your dreams. Otherwise it would no longer be the job of your dreams. Also, you no longer ever remember your dreams.

I wish my tablet had a larger internal hard drive. Or solid-state drive, or whatever type of memory it has, I wish it had greater capacity.

Granted. It's very much improved now - and it's also mine.

I wish my course books weren't so expensive.

Granted. The reason they aren't so expensive is that the people involved in their production are now forced to work for free. Slave labor was re-institutionalized solely for your sake. You only have to pay a small fee to the company who does the forcing. Well, I hope you enjoy your books!

I wish I had more time.

time stands still for everyone except for you... forever

I wish I had magic

Granted: you are immediately given a full set of Magic: The Gathering cards and nothing else.

I wish the industrial revolution had come 1,000 years earlier.

Granted. And guess what? So did nukes. Unfortunately, common sense didn't advance a thousand years, and everything's dead.

I wish for a Meganeura monyi as a pet.

Binomial names should be italicized. Yes, I'm that much of a nerd. Granted. It gets delivered to you straight from the Carboniferous period. Unfortunately, it's not adapted to survive in our modern world. Admittedly, the reasons why aren't universally agreed on by the scientific community, but the point is, it dies. ... Sorry.

I wish I had better social skills.

Granted. Your brainpower decreases to match that of a typical social person.

I wish every individual of the entire human race was twice as smart as they are now.

'd

edited 2nd Feb '15 12:58:48 PM by Elva

Granted. They know of Cthulhu, and he is not happy about that.

I wish people would decide on what they do and don't like.

Granted: they decide immediately and refuse to change. This applies to everything. Didn't make a good first impression on someone? They will forever consider you worse than Hitler. TV show or movie didn't immediately grab you? You are too enraged by its supposed awfulness that you are incapable of ever watching it.

I wish for an ice cold root beer.

edited 2nd Feb '15 4:02:24 PM by CSP1220

Granted. You get rooted by a glass of cold beer.

I wish to have a Cradily.

Granted. The dastardly Team [Insert Name Here] steal it from you soon afterwards.

I wish I was better at keeping in touch with people.

Granted. You become so good at it that you start to really creep people the hell out.

I wish smoking had no ill health effects.

Granted. Instead, it immediately explodes, killing the user.

I wish I were an Earthmate.

Granted. I'm too lazy to look that up, so a rock crushes you and you die.

I wish monkeys were fish and fish were Smurfs and Smurfs were real and REALITY IS A DREAM, BUY GOLD, BYE!