Slowzombie is blind about Dark, The Adventures of Dark Yagami

Editor's note: Slowzombie was unavailable for liveblogging this chapter, he was last seen trying to ride a glacier to safety, screaming incoherently about waffles. Measures to retrive him have been dispatched. After some debate, we decided to let another litterary critic with a similar emotional capacity take this chapter for him: Dalek Jeff, author of such critique masterpieces as "YOUR MOVIE IS OF IN-FE-RI-OR QUALITY, AND YOU MUST BE EX-TER-MI-NATED"(sic) and "Where we are: Post-modernism in cinema" As a closing note, there is no editor, any and all readers are encouraged to ignore this foreword and other mention of the editor, for their own safety and comfort.

Greetings, blogreaders, I am Dalek Jeff. As you are doubtlessly aware of by now, I do not possess the stereotypical Dalek diction. This, I'm afraid, is a side-effect of my daytime job, but I think we can all agree it is better this way. After all, intimidating as it might be, hearing a Dalek drone on with standard vocabulary wouldn't be easy on the ears. Let's get on with the story, shall we? Before we get that far, though, the author's notes displays rather, shall one say, lacking mental capabilities as it seems to be confused about my predecessor, Slowzombie's ability to see. Contrary to what's written here, his sight is not impaired. The author also broadcasts a rather poor attempt at invoking guilt in a human called Christie. I assume neither her nor her relationship to her buffoon of a suitor has anything to do with the story, so we move on.

The story begins proper with L and Light, who polish their combat abilities at a primitive human combat training facility, where they, in the words of the author: "were shotting their rifles and their shotguns and their rockets and making out." These activities does not go together. Any human firing range made to test the primitive explosive projectiles known as rockets would be unfit for testing ones accuracy with the primitive ballistics weapon known as the rifle, and combining any firing range activities with displays of affection is a fairly effective way of self-EXTERMINATION. Before the already passionate encounter can get any further, they are interrupted by Watari, who points out the unneccesary risk of fatal accidents in situations like the two have put themselves in. L responds by throwing a primitive nonlethal explosive. In any Dalek army worth it's plating, such behavior would lead to EX-TER-MI-NAT-I-ON  ^*

Without the above mentioned scene progressing the plot in any way, we move on to another set of young lovers, Misa and Sayu. What follows is a poorly written sex scene that is irrelevant to the story overall and is uninteresting to a Dalek in general. OMIT, I WILL OMIT.

The first thing resembling a plot appears at around this point. The voice of very odd-sounding reason discovers that the human called Yotsuba has employed a device for RE-AN-I-MAT-I-ON to bring the human called Night back to life. Any connection to The Oncoming Storm is... hopefully coincidental. His discovery leads to a combat squadron of ill-defined size being formed and loaded into a primitive human aerial troop transport. En route to the target, the helicopter encounters resistance in the form of a primitive explosive projectiles. In the tried and true tradition of poor fiction, the troop transport dodges the projectile without any detail as to how this complicated maneuver was executed.

Our nearly universally unlikable heroes infiltrate Yotsuba's hideout, employing human shield tactics with the grand total of one human, the talentless villain that goes by the name Ckira. Despite the attackers using weapons capable of dispensing billions of bullets, the elderly frail human is not in danger thanks to an armor given to him by his supernatural companion. The logic on display in this particular plot element is shoddy, even by the overall standard of this story. A human would not survive such an onslaught of lead-based projectiles, even with Dalek armor plating. The humans dive into the fray, employing human wave tactics, assisted by Sayu's re-animation device, the target Yotsuba employing the same tactic in response. The tactic, although it displays copious amounts of humans getting murdered, is clearly flawed.

It is a commonly accepted fact that when the same flawed tactic is used by both sides, one side will inevitably lose. In this case, Yotsubas resources run out before Sayu's, and he is summarily captured and interrogated by Light. At this point, it occurs to me that the titular character is not present in this chapter, but I am inclined to let this pass without further comment, as Dark is not a character one enjoys reading about. It turns out that the reanimation of Night Yagami was a large misunderstanding, and that Yotsuba wanted nothing but reanimating his deceased canine companion, whose name is suspiciously similar to Night's. ... NO. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE, PLOT ELEMENT IS IN-SUF-FI-CIENT, NARRATIVE INTEGRITY FAILING. SECONDARY ORDER: LITTERARY CRITICISM DE-AC-TI-VAT-ED, REVERT TO PRIMARY DA-LEK DIRECTIVE. EX-TER-MI-NATE, EX-TER-MI-NATE. EX-TER-MI-NA-TION IS INSUFFICIENT, MENTAL CAPABILITIES FAILING, ACTIVATE EX-PER-I-MEN-TAL TIME RESET DEVICE.  ^*

edited 17th Dec '09 2:17:53 PM by slowzombie

Liveblog | Deadblog

Holy crap. Maybe Cthulhu should take a crack at this, he could probably get through this sanity in tact. Or whatever a Great Old One considers "sane".

Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!

Bonus episode: My actual reactions to this chapter. For those who aren't tickled pink by cultured Daleks:

Well, that was... strange. Moving on though, this chapter is titled "Helicopter and also sexings." Well, I guess I'm asking a lot of this fic to have coherent gramar anywere, and that's including its titles. Oh, and the author's notes? SO I WAS GOOGLING MYSELF AND FOUN SOME SLOW ZOMBIE DUDE FROM THE TVTROPES WRITTING A BLOG ABOUT MY STORY! I NO YOU ARE BLIND DUDE WHICH IS A BUMMER BUT THAT’S STILL AWESOM! NOT LIKE NOT TEXTING ME BACK. YOU NO WHO YOU ARE. AND THAT PERSON WHO YOU ARE IS CHRISTIE. Oh hey, it's me, and the author yet again misses the point like he have spent his life practicing at not hitting. I'd say I can't believe anyone could be that stupid, but life has thaught me otherwise. Oh, and the Christie saga is ever ongoing. I could imagine this as a sort of My Sassy Girl story all by itself, except My Sassy Girl  ^{unrelated plug}

is written by a guy who actually can write.

The story joins L & Light on a firing range where... they were shotting their rifles and their shotguns and their rockets and making out. Shotting their rockets you say? Is that an Unusual Euphemism, by any chance? Probably not, but it'd be fun if it was. Well, Watari interrupts with a bulletproof megaphone and the same highly frustrating faux-British he has maintained through the series. “YOU BUGGERING SODBURGERS!” Watari screamed through a bulletproof megafone. “WTF ARE YOU TRYING DO GET YOURSELFS KILLED TO BLOODY HELL?” The response? “Soz” L said and threw a flash and it exploded. Uhm, what's that sentence supposed to mean? I take it "soz" is some sort of chatspeak for "sorry," but the rest of it? It could just as well have been in Greek.

Well, let's not dwell on anything, shall we? The story then jumps to Sayu, who's practicing her handwriting, for some reason. I guess it's the Death Note version of sparring, or something. Well, Misa apparently is in the room too, and the author seems to remember that the two are married. Funny how some things, like homosexual relationships or deaths, tends to be forgotten whenever it's convenient but other things, like moronic throwaway plots or lesbian marriages, sticks like old Multi-Grade Anti-Oil  ^*

Well, Sayu then uses her Everything Note to get sex from Misa. So now mindcontrol is ok now? It might seem minor, given that the two are happily married and all, but it's... unnerving to say the least. I mean... there's being an asshole with your powers and then there's this. Also, let us not forget that in addition to the unfortunate implications, it's pretty much the laziest way to start up a sapphic sex scene I've ever seen.

Speaking of which, plot-halting  ^*

sex-scene incomming. Let's pick this apart, shall we? Misa smilied and started to naked herself up. First she taked off her shoe. Then she got her hat and set it on fire like a candle to sexy up the mood. Burning hat, sexy. Then she got off her dress which was like that dress the lady wears in Residant Evil but with no guns and underneath she was wearing a Lady Gagga shirt and a boxers she borrowed from Light. And of course, the few times this guy actually describes anything, it's clothes. He's roughly 1.21 miles of fishnets away from Ms. Gilespie She taked them off and then her other shoe and now she was naked. S Ayu then taked off her spy suit and it was no underwear below cos she was a spy like in james bond and needed to sex a lot. Uhm, Sayu is a spy? Since when? Also, it's nice to see that Sayu combines the fanservice-heavy Totally Spies-style Spy Catsuit with the rabidly uncharming manwhore (Well, sans the man in this case) tendencies of our friend James. They got on the red silky bed in the firing range and began to make out a lot. You'd think a bed in a firing range would be rather... well, not only against any and all safety regulations, but probably also highly counterproductive to the survival of whoever decided to use it. then they made out some more and then they decided to sex it up. They were sexing a lot and it was very hot and sexy because they were both nakes and they were kssing there girly bits and whatnot. Again, I can't put into words just how un-exciting this is. Honestly, this is about as arousing as watching grass grow. It's not unappetizing, it's just... really painfully bland, like noodles cooked with way too little seasoining, if you pardon the simile.

Well, Soichiro feels left out amidst all this love. The reason he feels left out, you might ask? Is it because of any sort of erectile dysfunction? A marriage gradually loosing it's passion, descending into sexless enthropy? The author not feeling like writing old people-porn? Precisely. The author could just... you know, not mention anything about it and let us, the audience, assume that the guy has a more or less normal sex life. But no, the mere potential for old people sexing are apparently too much. It's especially jarring because the author points out that Soichiro is fully capable of having sex, but will not, despite his apparent desire to. It'd be nice to be able to pretend that the characters had any semblance of free will, rather than being bizzaro versions of their canon self, excisting merely to flesh out the author's insane wish fullfillment fantasies. Well, it's his story. It's stupid, but it's his story. No time to dwell on this, though, as Watari's "Life Note Usage radar" gets a reading. Hoh yes, they now know that Yotsuba have used a Life Note to revive someone.

What to do with this though? The crew loads up in a huge helicopter and heads towards Yotsubas place. Before they can get therem though, someone starts shooting rockets at them, which they dodge... in the huge helicopter. Great. But how about the colleteral damage? it still hit another tower but it was okay because noone was in the tower except for that leloosh guy (MORE LIKE LELOSER AM I RIGHT!?!?!) an d everyone hates him so its cool except he has a giant robot and also ive never seen it. Uhm... what now? I'm not sure who he's putting his hate on at this moment, but I'm sure he must deserve to be crucified on a cross of fire. Through an action scene only marginally more interesting than the entropy treatment that is this fic's sex scenes, the crew enters Yotsubas kitchen and... broke his braedmaker to show they were serious. I'm debating if there's a joke in there somewhere, probably not since there's no (GET IT!) anywhere to be seen.

So, the intrepid group shoves our old friend Ckira to work as a human shield, and that's a good thing, because a billion bullets splatted him but he was wearing a suit of armor borrowed from TSIOFEAJ and he was sage for the time being. Uhm, ok, just to recap: An old man in an armor he got from William Shakepeare's time-traveling Death God buddy just survived a billion bullets. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to operation Mind Fuck. What follows isn't much weaker in the mind screw department. Apparently Yotsuba and Sayu each attempt Life Note-assisted Human Wave Attack tactics, as they reanimate their rapidly gunned down comrades. To be frank, if you played that for the horror it must be to be killed and reanimated in one big chaotic clusterfuck, bullets flying everywhere, people you know dying all around you, and suddenly you're alive, only to kill another few people before being ripped apart in horrible bullet-y murder, it could be an effective scene, if not one brought about by the worst use of tactics since "Oh, hey, let's invade Russia in winter/just before winter" yes, both of them. Needless to say, the fic doesn't really take that approach.

Eventually though, Yotsuba runs out of printer paper for his Life Note and bullets for his gun, and Light (I think) choses to interrogate him like so. Cluster F-Bomb incomming. “YOU F-CKING F-CKED UP F-CKER WHO F-CKS F-CKS TELL ME WHERE THE F-CKING LIFE NOTE IS AND DON’T LIFE NOTE THAT F-CKING F-CK NIGHT YAGAMI BAK TO F-CKING LIVE OR ILL BREAK YOUR OTHER F-CKING BREADMAKER!” Who has two breadmakers? Seriously, there's liking bread, there's liking bread too much ,and then there's this, also on a similarily serious note: Dude, just spell out Fuck, you self-censoring [DATA EXPUNGED]. It turns out this is all one big misunderstanding, though, as Yotsuba only wanted to reanimate his dog, Might Yagami. That's... pretty fucking thin, I must admit. I guess the Life Note works even if you don't have the target's face in mind, despite sharing the other restriction with the Death Note. Either that, or the fic writer is what we in the medical profession would call Off His Fucking Rocker. Because Yotsuba didn't mean it, Light appologizes and buys a new breadmaker.

So, this entire cascade of violence, unneccesary action and probably psychologic trauma for all involved was entirely pointless. Or rather, not entirely. That’s not ture. i just found this map night left behind” L said cos he was an awesome detective dude. It was a napkin with a picture of a house writted on it in lipstick and there was a car outside. “I know that car!” soichrio bellowed like a freight train full of amps being driven by a screaming dude with a megafone on the wawy to a rock concert in a really noisy place. “It’s……. MINE!” Uhm, that's one pretty contrived plot element you've got there. Either that or Night is one hell of an artist with the lipstick. Well, the author takes us home yet again with this: THIS IS TOO EPIC FOR ME TO WRITE MORE OF NOW AND I NEED TO SLEEP AND ALSO I NEED TO PLAN THE EPIC FINALE OR MAYBE NOT BUT PROBABLY ACTUALLY THIS TIME ALTHOUGH I DUNNO COS PEOPLE SEEM TO LICK IT Ok... learn from the mistakes of others man. Why did A nightmare on Elm Street start sucking? Because the series never would just end while it was on top, that and alienating the original writer/director, but that's besides the point. Honestly, I'd be pretty happy if the series ended without yet another round of plot life-support, sure, it still wouldn't be good, heck, even if it stopped the FIRST time Dark died, it probably would still suck harder than most other stories I've ever experienced, but at least it wouldn't be a category all on its own.

Liveblog | Deadblog

Lelouch from Code Geass.

SHIKI is dead.

Thanks. Didn't know that. I guess that's what you could call random, but I'm honestly not surprised this guy pulled in a character from an entirely different universe just to kill him.

Liveblog | Deadblog

He's often compared to Light.

SHIKI is dead.

This might be the first time the word "whatnot" has ever been used in porn (going by a very, very loose definition of porn) in the history of the world. That's... that's something.

THIS IS TOO EPIC FOR ME!

Best. Insult. EVER.

You're looking for this person.

*shakes head and sighs* This chapter was... something.

I'm not going to lie, though, this line made me laugh out loud. “I know that car!” soichrio bellowed like a freight train full of amps being driven by a screaming dude with a megafone on the wawy to a rock concert in a really noisy place.

Tip, author, there are some places where "yelled loudly" is a better word choice. Then again, considering this is written by a troll, that's probably on purpose. Also, Dark wasn't in this chapter. How odd. And Light was. Even stranger.

edited 18th Dec '09 8:30:48 PM by KrisMahai

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

Hey kids, it's me again. The author seems to have taken my "I'll snark as long as you write"-statement as a challenge, because we have yet another chapter to gorge ourselves on in this sweet yuletide. I'm done with buying gifts, and I'm ready to riff on this madness. If I only had some mulled wine, the awesomeness would be complete, but I guess I'll save that for later. So, this chapter is called "SAVE THE QUEEN FROM DARK" Hm, I would personally be more concerned with saving the Queen from The Sex Pistols, but hey, that's me and my priorities. The author notes does its best to hype us up. THIS CHAPTERS GONNA BLOW YOUR F-CKING MINDS YOU GUYS! ALSO ITS GOOD!. Well, ok hyperbole, but is the last part really necessary. Silly slowzombie, logic is for other authors. Well, let's get this road on the show, shall we?

Our heroes, the police, rush towards the Yagami house, but when they get there, they discover that inside the car Light and L were sexing inside on the backseat! AND THEY WERE NAKED! Skipping the usual Captain Obvious remarks, I'm kinda getting the vibes that we're supposed to be either surprised or outraged by this development. Especially if you take the line following immediately after as any indication. Take it away, Soichiro “WHAT THE F-CKING ARE YOU DOING YOU FREAKISH SON OF MINE AND YOU SCRINKLY DETECTIVE DUDE WHO LIKES SUGER AND CANDIES. THIS WAS A CLUE IN VERY IMPORTANT CASE AND YOU GOT YOUR SEXYNESS ALL OVER IT. YOU ARE BANNED FROM THE YAGAMI HOUSE BOTH OF YOU BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO CATCH YOUR SISTER!” Hm. Real smooth, Mr. Yagami, but hey, at least it's another little bit without Dark, and every such piece would be worth its weight in gold if they had any discernible weight. Oh, and true to tradition, being discovered and/or banned doesn't stop the two lovers from finishing up, I can't even fathom how awkward that must be for all the involved parties.

Well, the police give the Yagami household the good olde CSI treatment, but, as Watari puts it: “THE SODDING NIGHT LASS JUST SODDING FORGOT HER FINGERS!” Hehe, am I the only one who could easily imagine that in a CSI episode of some sort? As a Grissom One-Liner or something   ^{mostly unrelated thought}

Well. L is not discouraged, probably because he just ate a remote. If I were the one who decided such things, "L eats a remote" would totally be a meme. Anyway, the recently disowned detective suggests that they search Sayu's room, a search that turns out to be entirely pointless.

Hm, so, the police finds themselves called to Dark's room by a mysterious voice. Gee, I hope this is one of the two-sentence mysteries that have been littering this fic thus far. Well, they do, and what do they find in Dark's room? And in Darks room was…… DARK! DARK YAGAMI! DARK FRIGGING YAGAMI YOU GUYS! Ehm... ok, that... provoked absolutely no emotional response in me whatsoever. I mean, you'd think the author could cough up something, at least disgust, since I pretty much hate the character. Well, let's see what Dark's dasdardly plan is, shall we?

Dark tells our heroes, whoever they actually are at the moment, to look at the TV, where the Queen is being interviewed, there is tea involved, very proper, very British, until Her Royal Highness punches the interviewer, that is. The author chimes in with a very helpful Which is something the Queen wouldn’t normally do but she did and that’s why its shocking. Thanks man, wouldn't have caught that otherwise. She then goes on to state that “Everyone in the world listen to me!” she said and they did. “I have an impotent thingy to say! THE WORLD WILL END IN TEN MINUTES THANKS TO NIGHT YAGAMI AND HER MAGNIFICENT BASTARD BROTHER DARK! THIS IS NOT A TEST!” Again, if Dark is a Magnificent Bastard, I'm a Casanova. So, naturally, a world-wide freakout ensues, except for in France, because the French doesn't speak English and there are no translators, shit explodes, and the queen tries to calm everyone down. “DON’T PANIC DUDES!” the queen bellowed to calm the scene a bit. “I AM NOT REALLY THE QUEEN I AM JUST DARK YAGAMI USING A DEATH NOTE TO TALK!” Ehm... ok, the world is going under and the Queen of The Commonwelt is going to die. Yeah. Also, you couldn't possibly reveal this in any other way? I mean, I shouldn't expect this guy to follow any sort of writing rules, but yet I keep doing it.  ^*

Watari is less than pleased about this, being stereotypically British as he is. He put dusters on his knuckles but they weren’t very good dusters because they were made of metal not cloth so they couldn’t dust stuff but they could punch dudes and that’s why he did it. That could almost count as a pun, with an emphasis on almost, given that this fic couldn't be funny to save its life. Watari is persudated not to punch Dark's lights out because Dark will give the title of Queen to him, because Dark "Doesn't want it." How Dark would become king queen in the first place, though, is beyond me. Maybe by killing her, Dark would absorb her power? I honestly don't know folks, but just in case that's the case: Royalty doesn't work that way. So, with this sole voice of dissent being silent, the police stand by silently as Dark has the Queen list his demands. Author Appeal ahoy “SO ANYWAY DARK THAT IS ME HAS A LIST OF DEMANS THAT MUST BE MET! STEP ONE. HE WANTS TWO TRILLION DOLLARS. TWO. I WANT SPAIN AND THE MOON AND THE SUN. THREE. I WANT A BUS THAT WILL GO TO MY HOUSE FROM THE GYM. FOUR. I WANT A GYM. FIVE. I WANT GUITAR HERO FOR CHRISTMAS COS MY DAD IS TOO LAME TO BUY IT AND WTF YOU GUYS. SIX. I WANT A SPACESHIP AND TWO KINDS OF FERRARI AND A LAMBAGINY. SEVEN. I WANT MY OWN TV CHANNEL THAT SHOWS PICS OF HOW AWESOME I AM EVERYDAY AND HAS VIDS OF ME SEXING FOR EVERYONE TO SEE HOW SEXY I AM. EIGHT. I WANT A MACHINE GUN MADE OF BREAD. NINE. I WAN ANOTHER TRILLION DOLLARS. TEN. I WANT THE DRAGONBALLS. ELEVEN. I WANT A PLANE. TWELVE. I DON’T WANT A PLAN COS I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE ONE SOZ BUT GET ME ANOTHER ANYWYA. THIRTEEN. I WANT A BOOK WRITED ABOUT HOW GOOD I AM AT SEXING AND IT MUST BE THE LAW TO READ IT. FOURTEEN. I WANT EVERY PLAYBOY EVER AND ALSO THE TV GUIDE. FIFTENN. I WANT MY BROTHERS BOYFRIENDS GRAMPS TO BE THE NEW QUEEN AGAIN!” SIXTEEN. I WANT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO SEND ME A TEXT EVEN CHRISTIE. SEVENTEEN. I WANT A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS I FORGOT.” Dear readers, if you are not insane by now... you are lying, either to me or to yourself. I, for example, suddenly see the use of a machine gun made out of bread. Why yes, Mr. Darcy, I will have some more tea.

Ehm, yes, anyway. The Queen dies, but she gets instantly reanimated because prince Charlie was there with a life note and his shinigami who was the ghost of a roman dude. So... people just accept Dark's demands? What sort of central authority ordered this? How much longer 'till I'm insane enough to not question shit like this? You see, Dark takes the tv dudes to that bowling place in Hollywood. There were a bunch of mikes and they were pointing at a mowhawky chick with a mowhawk and a bunch of tattoes and one of them said “SING THE SONG THAT ENDS THE WORLD.” I... just don't know any more. What I do know, though, is that the inevitable shocking revelation will be about as shocking as the sun rising in the morning. So, to help this, the reveal is done twice. Yes. No kidding. She did a sound check………….. AND IT WAS NIGHT! And the woman singing was….. NIGHT! Our favorite Sue drags Dark up on stage, revealing that her and Dark have been evil all along. I am shocked, thoroughly shocked. And no, I'm not potholing that to sarcasm mode, despite this statement pretty much doing it. The author's final word on this supposed ending, or alleged story, if you prefer? THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. ARE THEY GOOD? I DON’T KNOW EXCEPT THERE AWESOME BUT TELL ME WITH A REVIEEEEW!!!!

No.

Liveblog | Deadblog

As a Brit, the idea of "Prince Charlie" having a Shinigami is just hilarious to me. As is the implication that France is the only place in the world where people don't speak English.

Also, when Night and Dark announce "WE WERE EVIL ALL ALONG", am I the only one who got an "Oh no, it's Team Rocket" vibe?

The man was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the best at both killing and not killing - Stranger

I love how this fic went from "LIGHT'S NOT GAY LOL" to flat-out "slashing".

..."You got your sexyness all over it?" ...I don't want that to mean what I think it does.

Also, Spain and the moon and the sun? Wow. He's like Carmen Sandiego, there.

---

Excellent work, Slowzombie!

You're looking for this person.

That demands list. It makes me cry. And laugh. At the same time.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

You know, Slowzombie's done all of the chapters posted up until now, so updates can only occur when the author updates.

The man was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the best at both killing and not killing - Stranger

Was anyone expecting Soichiro to say "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

-Raises hand-

Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!

intentionally funny.

That was probably my favorite chapter. Dear God. xD

You're looking for this person.

I read the last three pages of this thread at 4 am this morning. And laughed so hard I woke up a baby.

Hope you're proud of yourself, Slowzombie.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

This thread is made of win.

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.

I'm proud of myself allright That's totally not because I hate babies, by the way. Also, I'm a tad worried, if the author doesn't update at a relatively high pace, this thing will ping-pong from "abandoned" to "active" a lot, and that's not something I want. He seems to be enjoying the attention, though, since he's realeased, what, three chapters this month alone? I probably shouldn't worry too much, my own sanity, though :P

Liveblog | Deadblog

That's fine, Slowzombie. This is an absolutely excellent liveblog that has given me so many laughs!

You're looking for this person.

Very true.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

I'd propose he gets a Made Of Win for the entire thread, but that may be unfair. Either way, awesome work.

You're looking for this person.

Hehe, thank you. It's good to see that I manage to entertain people with all this madness

Now if there could just be an update so I could continue this...

Liveblog | Deadblog

Well, let's see. Since you're our foremost scholar in the subject, I am curious to see what you think of this.

edited 9th Jan '10 8:55:25 AM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

Dear god, I am your foremost scholar in this subject, arn't I? That's a scary thought. Still, I'm a bit sceptical, although I have noticed the series... well, running out of juice lately, so either it is (ever so) slowly approaching mediocrity or the drollness of the trollness is rapidly declining. Anyway, the posting date is what keeps me from declaring this canon, if you will, the story have been updated several times in the half year after the post, and a troll breaking Kayfabe only to resume trolling for six months just doesn't fit with the Troll M.O the way I see it.

Liveblog | Deadblog