All Purpose Nanoha Fanfiction Thread!

A chorus of groans caused the cyborg's conjecture to cease.

[Buddy, look out! Three intense AMF signatures coming in!]

"I see 'em, partner! ...wait, what the heck?!"

Newly rounding the corner were a group of three humans - or at least, it was obvious that they had been human, once.

The sheen of metal growing out of their skin... the way that their eyes held only an empty stare...

[AMF is being generated from metal growths in their bodies,] Mach Calibur reported.

"Hold on... growths?" Subaru repeated. "Not implants, but growths?!"

The device suggested, [They could be zombies.]

"...zombies."

[...robot zombies?]

"...zombies."

[...robot zombies?]

Nine minutes ago, the Takamachi-Testarossa family and their friends began a heated sparring match divided by gender.

Initial fighting lasted for over one minute, and saw both teams lose over half their membership.

Onlookers are excited by the carnage wrought in the name of achieving a brief moment's victory.

Eight minutes have passed since the battle began. They are at... a stalemate.

On the women's side, Nanoha, Fate, Hayate, and Vivio were the last to stay on their feet.

On the men's side, Chrono and Zafira were the last ones standing.

And then suddenly, a timer went ding, causing Chrono to smirk. "Looks like we get our reinforcements now."

No sooner had he finished speaking, then everyone heard the roar of thrusters. Scant seconds later, a white humanoid behemoth appeared, and touched down on the battlefield.

Brandishing a beam saber in one hand, and a shield with a stylized unicorn in the other, the humongous mecha certainly cut an intimidating figure.

"Okay girls," Hayate quickly said. "Remember the plan! No matter what happens, nobody say it! The second somebody says it, we're boned!"

"Not that Nanoha would consider that a bad thing," Chrono quipped, prompting a blush both from Nanoha and from Fate.

"Really, big brother?! You went there in front of my daughter?! ...even if you're not wrong?!"

At that time, the pilot of the giant mecha broadcast a question over the external speakers, audibly smirking. "Okay ladies, time for a little pop quiz! What kind of Mobile Suit is this?!"

Vivio immediately raised her hand, and started jumping about in excitement. "Ooh, ooh, I know! I know what it is! Pick me, papa!"

Nanoha and Hayate had matching expressions of terror. "No! Don't answer it!"

"IT'S A GUNDAM!" Vivio cheered. Then, as the Nu Gundam loosed its Fin Funnels and began powering up, she suddenly realized what she just did. "...oops..."

Amuro laughed. "Attagirl, Vivio!"

Nanoha promptly attempted to regain control over the situation. "It's okay! Just because it's a meme that anyone who says those three words immediately gets curb stomped doesn't mean it'll actually happen! Sure, he's Amuro Ray, veteran ace pilot of three wars, the guy who won a sumo wrestling contest with a giant asteroid, and a ridiculously powerful Newtype with psychic reflexes that give him an incredible edge over any opponent... but we're Aces, too! We can totally - agh!"

Alas, they could not, because Amuro one-shotted all three of them with particle beams from his Funnels while Nanoha was attempting her rousing speech. Even with the Nu Gundam's Minovsky reactor and related technology swapped out with magical substitutes giving it the same kind of nonlethal capability that TSAB agents enjoyed with their Devices... particle beams'll still knock you out, dude.

Chrono fist-bumped a Gundam, everybody picked themselves up and went out for a nice dinner, and then the White Devils spent the night banging while Vivio stayed over at a friend's house.

The end.

P.S.: Don't worry — Fate also got her turn with Nanoha, too.