>BOBBEH SMOL.
>You a dude, dude.
>Bobbeh Smol is good. Give him a fancy middle name, like Ignatius or Methuselah.
I haven't played the particular game that Tango is from, but still... robo kitty. :D
> Bobbeh Methuselah "Bobe" Smol
("bobe" rhymes with "robe". and it's "bobe", not "bob".)
edited 11th Apr '17 6:04:40 PM by anza_sb
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>BOBBEH SMOL.
>You a dude, dude.
>Bobbeh Smol is good. Give him a fancy middle name, like Ignatius or Methuselah.
>Bobbeh Methuselah "Bobe" Smol.
Now you remember; amazing, since you're apparently not supposed to have much capacity for long-term memory, or so folks have told you. Your name is Bobby Ignatius Smalls, but most rats call you Bobe. Catchy name, you think. Rolls right off the tongue. Probably makes them underestimate you, too. If they're not already underestimated by the whole rat thing, but you'll mentally backtrack to that later.
For the time being, you've just woken up from a long day's sleep on a pile of leaves, spread out inside a toppled-over, hollowed-out tree trunk in the canalside woods you call home. You stretch and yawn, feeling like you want to die. But alas, your internal clock knows that if you don't get up now, the light of the moon is gonna pierce your eyes. As you stretch, you also make sure to check that you're still male. You are. Damn. That means you'll be the one initiating courtship rituals when the apocalypse rolls around, as is custom in the woodland community.
As you come to under the light of the evening sun, however, you notice something strange; there's nobody else here. Precisely zero. You find this odd because, last you checked, there was at least one more than zero rats here. It was like a little travelling party you had assembled in some off-screen adventure. Or perhaps you just spent all night hopped-up on that sweet brown stuff that the hairless apes like to eat.
>What do you do now?
edited 11th Apr '17 6:24:04 PM by PresidentStalkeyes
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work.">"It's quiet. Too quiet."
>Prepare for an attack
> Check the surroundings first. See if we can find any useful stuff.
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
> Think about your short existence.
The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>"It's quiet. Too quiet."
>Prepare for an attack
You mumble that to yourself, perhaps to good-naturedly alert any potential attackers that you're aware of their presence, before tensing up, putting yourself on high alert for their appearance, should it happen. Might not happen, but you know how it is with the woodland community. It's not exactly a place where politeness and diplomacy reigns supreme. Tastiness reigns supreme, more like. You've heard rumours that some predators can taste fear. It's like the world's best seasoning, they say. Right next to garlic and chive.
>Check the surroundings first. See if we can find any useful stuff.
Still tensed up, you look from side to side, checking both ends of your hollow tree trunk. It seems the hole to your right has been blocked by a tree stump, and only the hole to your left is open to the environment. The ground is covered with an assortment of leaves, grasses, and the occasional twig. Nothing you could use, really. Besides, you're not really built for tool usage. Environmental manipulation, perhaps. Coordination with fellow rats, even more so. But with no other rats around, you're shit out of luck, as they say down south.
>Think about your short existence.
As you remind yourself of all this, you suddenly begin to contemplate your existence. Really, what's the point of doing anything if you're just going to die in a couple years, anyway? Just eat and sleep and mate? Seems like a waste. Might as well just go outside right now and wait for predators to take you away to a happy place. But then when you think about it, it's a different picture if you think of yourself as part of a wider species. After all, the hairless apes didn't get where they are with just one. Took 'em... like, a bajillion years. With this, you feel a sense of renewed confidence and resolve, eager to do... something.
>What will you do now?
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
>Today, you will seek a mate. AGAIN. But first, you must eat once more.
edited 11th Apr '17 8:04:03 PM by TheGreatUnknown
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>Today, you will seek a mate. AGAIN. But first, you must eat once more.
But of course, you think to yourself. One rat can't get a lot done in his or her lifetime, but a hundred rats... that's a different story. Best get to work with that hundred rats. So far you've only had... about a dozen rats? No idea where they've gone. Oh well. What can you do?
As usual, thinking about this makes you hungry, for nobody ever propogated a species on an empty stomach. Thus, still tensed up from that lingering sense of dread you picked up, you inch your way outside. To your left, the woods stretch on for... you don't know exactly how long, but far too long for you to comprehend. To your right, the canal, separating you from the hairless apes' modern suburban settlement, fancy brown-brick houses combined with fancy blocks of apartments.
It was then that you hear a distinct fluttering sound coming from behind, which probably would have evaded you had you not been on alert.
>How do you respond?
edited 11th Apr '17 8:47:01 PM by PresidentStalkeyes
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."> Look behind you, exclaim something like "Hey! Who are YOU?"
The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
> Throw a small rock at it.
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
Braids From S286 Not Included
> Duck and cover!
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
>Ninja kic- FLEE SOUTH.
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>Look behind you...
You do exactly that, spinning your whole body around 180 degrees, stoat-style, and what do you see?
A duck.
A mallard, to be exact, resting atop the log you just came out of.
"Good evenin'," the duck says to you in such a way that sounds so exaggeratedly nice that it must be fake somehow. And he sounds Irish, too. You're not entirely sure how you know that, but there you are.
>Throw a small rock at it.
Detecting danger from this duck, you attempt to ward it off by means of a small rock, but alas, there are none close at claw. None that you can pick up or throw, anyway. Again, you're not really built for that sort of thing.
>Duck and cover!
>Ninja kic- FLEE SOUTH.
You briefly entertain thoughts of jumping up there and spin-kicking the duck in his big fat beak, but you wisely decide to instead make a beeline into the woods, searching for the nearest... unoccupied tree trunk, maybe? Burrow? Cave? ...You did make a good pun, at least, which is exactly the sort of comfort you need when faced with a strange bird.
Unfortunately, before you can get anywhere, the duck takes off and lands straight in your path, blocking your escape. "Hey, woah, where d'ye think yer goin', rat? I haven't even introduced meself! Honestly, no trust nowadays, is there?"
>...exclaim something like "Hey! Who are YOU?"
The duck looks a tad perplexed at your manner of speech. "That's some weird fuckin' speech pattern ye got yourself there. ...Anyways. My name's Malcolm 'The Mallet' O'Malley, but most o' me fellow waterfowl put me on a Last-Name Basis, so to speak. I already know who you are, Bobby Smalls, an' I reckon ye've got quite a few questions yer just waitin' to puke outta that plague-pipe o' yours, ain't ye?"
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
>Yeah, like "Whattya want with me? What's your game, O'Malley?"
>And "What's going on? Where are all the other animals?"
I haven't played the particular game that Tango is from, but still... robo kitty. :D
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>"What's going on? Where are all the other animals?"
"Ye mean yer fellow rats; the li'l party ye picked up? Hmm... I ain't so sure," he says, mockingly rubbing his beak with his Feather Fingers. "Last I checked, they were 'swimmin' in the water' with me brothers an' sisters, so to speak. You'd be too, but, well..."
>"Whattya want with me? What's your game, O'Malley?"
"I'm glad y'asked, Bobe-lad! I don't claim to be a leadin' authority on the memory capacity o' your kind, but a couple days ago I flew by an' informed you of a li'l food taxation arrangement my boss has made with all the land creatures who are fixin' to scavenge in town. An arrangement that had to go double with you an' your merry band, so to speak. T'keep the brown rats happy, ye understand. They had their way, ye wouldn't be here at all. I mean, to be totally blunt with ye, lad, we did ye a favour, an' ye throw that favour back in our faces. That ain't how ye do things in a civilised world, so... we had to take executive action, so to speak."
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
PINNACLE OF MAN
>"No, the other animals. I don't see any other animal in this place."
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.
>Well, now I'm literally the only rat of my type here.
>Thanks, jerk! 
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>"No, the other animals. I don't see any other animal in this place."
O'Malley proceeds to facewing quite dramatically. "What kinda question is that, lad? They're all in town, ye fuckin' degenerate! 'Cept fer the deer. They're in the woods over there. Fucked up on locoweed, so to speak. Not even we're goin' near 'em. Why the bloody hell am I sayin' all o' this, anyway?"
>"Well, now I'm literally the only rat of my type here. Thanks, jerk!"
O'Malley looked slightly pleased with himself. "Nah, I should really be thankin' you! ...So to speak." he said, licking the side of his beak.
edited 12th Apr '17 10:46:37 AM by PresidentStalkeyes
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
>So, lemme guess. You want me to pay the tax?
>Bolt to town.
> Give the bird the bird, then make like a bird and head off to the town... bird.
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
The Best Worst Psychonaut
>So, lemme guess. You want me to pay the tax?
O'Malley clapped... or as close to clapping as you can get from soft feathers. "Well done, ye finally get it! An' it only took the grisly, horrible, torturous deaths of six rats to hammer it through your thick skull, so to speak! Remember: the hairless apes have this concept called 'air superiority', so to speak, an' that's what it's all about! Either Goose Howard gets 75% o' your scraps, or he gets you! That's the way it is, so to speak. An' 'cause you an' ye friends have been holdin' out, he wants somethin' big. Somethin' substantial, like a whole lunchbox, an' he wants it tonight. Get it done, or Goose might invite ye to one o' his trademark seafood banquets, so to speak."
And with that declaration, O'Malley flew off, over the canal and into the suburbs.
>Give the bird the bird, then make like a bird and head off to the town... bird.
>Bolt to town.
You wisely choose to wait until after the duck had turned his back on you to try making an offensive hand gesture to demonstrate the seething contempt you have for him and his 'air superiority''; though since your claws are so small, it'd have been a wonder if he could even tell what you were trying to say. You were sure he had a sort of self-esteem-restoring filter to act like that and sleep peacefully at night.
With your priorities established, you decide it's time to head into the suburbs and do what you have to do. There are a number of ways in; you could try swimming across the canal, or you could look for a bridge across. Or you could always change your mind and take your chances with the woods.
>Where will you go now?
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."
So, some of you might remember my first attempt at starting a text adventure game, Out of World's Bounds. It went well... until I lost steam and it kind of died. And I think I know why: I made it too complimacated! Not a good idea for my first outing. Couldn't focus so good, and I suspect everyone got bored of just walking around not doing much. So this time, I'm going to try something a bit simpler. Well, a lot simpler, actually. With more 'diving-straight-into-the-action... ness'! And I thought to myself, what's always a winner? Cute animals that steal all your food and spread diseases! :V So anyway, as before, feel free to point out when I've screwed up. Or just when it gets boring. I'm making this one up on the fly, more-or-less.
Oh, and in case you don't know how it works: all you have to do is enter commands that tell our protagonist character what to do. Lessgo!
The year? Not important. The place? ...Not important. Really, what is important? You'll probably be dead in a couple years, anyway. That's how it is, being a verminous black rat and all. All you know about anything right now is that you live in some woods on the outskirts of a seaside metropolis.
You never did like the woods. Too dirty and full of assholes who want to eat you, and that's no way to act in a civilised world. Hence the decision to move. Plus, there's far more food over here. Hell, sometimes the giant hairless apes who live in the city just give food to you. No joke. You don't even have to fight them. ...Well, that's not to say they necessarily want to give the food to you, but the way they just leave it lying around certainly makes it seem like they want to give it to you. Confusing bunch. ...Too bad you can't go in there very often. You've got some bad blood with the locals, for some reason. Sins of the father, apparently.
Oh yes. You should probably remind yourself - like you've been reminding yourself of everything else - since you apparently have a hangover or something; what's your name and what have you got going on down there? Better keep that in mind in case some extinction crisis happens and you need to do some repopulation on short notice.
"If you think like a child, you will do a child's work."