Push the button?

Nope!

You can eat ALL THE THINGS with no repercussions. You can eat whatever you want, as much as you want, with no ill effects.

BUT

You need 12 hours of sleep per night. After hour 12 of being awake, you will involuntarily fall asleep.

-press-

I have trouble getting sleep due to the fact that I experience longer hours than anyone else, anyways.

You get to become a Reality Warper,

BUT

You have to abandon all your family and belongings, and anything that might tie you to money. And basically die to the world you thought you knew.

Press. I can make myself literally impossible to kill with this new powers.

You are God

BUT

You live in a world where All Myths Are True so you have to deal with other gods first.

-press- "God" capitalized and alone implies the Christian god, who is essentially infinity powerful.

Bringing things down to earth a bit...

You get $100,000 per year, adjusted for inflation by 2017 standards, until you die.

-but-

You are not allowed to work, or do anything productive whatsoever. Even non-commercially.

Push! Drawing isn't productive, is it?

You get to go to Space!

BUT

You must colonize a planet in about a year with no help.

No press. That sounds hard.

You can send any five people to space, and they will no longer be able to communicate with anyone but Mission Control! (So, if you'd prefer not to share the planet with someone, now's your chance to make it happen)

BUT

They will colonize a new planet, and be lauded as heroes.

Hm.

Hmmm.

Pass.

You save humanity from a world ending crisis.

BUT

Saving humanity leads to them becoming similar to the Imperium.

edited 28th May '17 6:20:27 AM by RandomWriter413

If that means i also get to be a space marine then -Push-

You can select anyone you want to be president, and they'll instantly get elected.

BUT

It means that now you will be marked as a Russian hacker and will be hunted down.

-push- I have radical views when it comes to governance, and this likely is my only chance for federal reform. I'll be a martyr.

You can eat at your favorite restaurant chain for free for the rest of your life, and every franchisee that exists now will remain until you die.

-BUT-

Everything you eat at this restaurant has triple the calories while otherwise tasting the same, so you'll have to eat less or get morbidly obese.

edited 28th May '17 8:09:27 AM by sarysa

So. If I were to do this, I would most likely eat there (Beau Jo's Pizza, it's a Colorado thing) three times as often. If the food had three times as many calories, I'd have to stick to my normal amount of meals there. I'd get my normal amount of meals there, for free. I WOULD SLAM THAT BUTTON SO HARD

You get the cutest, sweetest, most well-behaved kitten ever, cute enough to become a guaranteed internet sensation.

BUT

You get a cat allergy, too. Cat allergies are allergies to specific proteins in cat dander and cat waste, so someone has to clean the litterbox and vacuum every day or you'll be a boogery mess and possibly break out in hives.

edited 28th May '17 9:49:24 AM by RaspyMink

I'd press that button and use the cat's internet attention to get lotsa money! With that i could easily hire someone to take care of the kitten for me withouth risking my health.

You become a most succesful singer! Your songs are everywhere, you have countless fans!

But...

Your attitude makes Justin Bieber look tame.

No press!

You can conjure up and command any animal you want!

BUT

Along with the animal of your choice, who listens to your commands, you also get a pissed off grizzly bear who wants to kill you.

-press- A google search reveals that a Polar Bear or Elephant could defeat a Grizzly Bear, so I could hide in a secure, tight space, summon, let them battle, and then control the winning summon.

Your car's fuel will never run out.

-but-

All your car's components will wear out twice as quickly. (not including liquids that need to be refreshed)

Parts are even more expensive! No press.

You have the most desirable friendship ever

BUT

your true friends will now leave you.

What good is the best friendship if your true friends left you? PASS!

You have Reality Warper powers.

BUT

You risk making a tear in reality every time you use them, no matter how mundane it is.

Hahahah, no.

You live in a Genocide run of Undertale. And you're a monster.

BUT......

You are Undyne the Undying times 80, and really are Undying. So yeah, you can't be beat.

Admittedly, being Undyne would be pretty cool, but just being in the middle of a Genocide run just doesn't does click with me, especially if I'm going to out-live everyone else. Pass.

You are now a Yoshi! (With the color of your choice.)

BUT

The first thing you must do is live the events of the first Yoshi's Island game and make the journey to rescue Baby Luigi while carrying Baby Mario all the way, and Mario will cry whenever he's knocked off your back as in the games. (Though you make the journey with seven other Yoshis as well.)

No way, Jose. Even if I made it through Yoshi's Island, I'd still be used as a jumping point to get to a platform.

You die.

BUT.....

You become Spooky from Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion. Even better, you get people that aren't experienced in horror games and just try to Leeroy Jenkins themselves into the monsters.

Pass. Intriguing, but too much to do before I settle down to practice my favorite holiday forever.

You get all the true companions you ever wanted, a fairy tale spouse, a messianic generation of politicians, the release of a generation of gamemakers and moviemakers catering just to you, and you're even on first name basis with god.

BUT

All of the aforementioned hate your guts. Whenever you leave, the "true companions" and the spouse, talk about you as the lowest of the low, while the spouse cheats on you every chance xe gets. The politicians' sole motivation to do well is to keep you healthy and fed so that they and your neighbors never have to hear from you again. The game and movie makers spend all their backroom meetings insulting your demographic and fill their games with Easter eggs that subtly insult you. Even god doesn't want to deal with you. Instead of heaven or hell, xe just sticks you in a Lotus-Eater Machine cut off from everyone else for eternity.
Not that you'll ever know. The above is still true. You never catch anyone making fun of you and your spouse never catches anything or gets pregnant or brings drama and is so warm and loving while you're around the house. Your true companions try to include you in everything when you're around and give you fulfilling and respectful company. You never get the easter eggs are insulting you, and the LEM feels like heaven.

edited 30th May '17 8:46:27 PM by CenturyEye

-press- I already prefer to live in my deluded land of dreams anyway. At least I'll have a false reason to get up in the morning now.

You could change the HSV (color scale) of any object. It could be individually, such as a particular object a friend's holding. It could be far away, like a star. It could even be a broad range which would allow you to change the color of the sky. You'll keep this power until you die.

-but-

You could only see in black and white for the rest of your life. You could still change objects into colors, and everyone else could see it, but you would only see differences in brightness.

It kind of sounds like an Awesome, but Impractical power to me, as impressive as it sounds. And being only able to see in black & white would get really old after a while, so I'm going to have to pass.

Your favorite cancelled video game series will be Un-Cancelled!

BUT

Another wildly popular and top-selling video game franchise will be cancelled in the process, and it'll be made known to everyone that you were the one who cancelled it just to save one you liked. Who knows what these fans will do to you...

If I revive The true Banjo-Kazooie series, will that mean Yooka-Layle will be canned as well? I say roll the fuggin dice, bitch! -PUSH!-

You will have a chance to make your biggest wish come true

BUT

You must fight in a war with these young masters of magic and take a lot of punishment

LOL NOPE.

You can un-meet someone. Seriously, erase them from your life, and make them an UnPerson to you. You will have never encountered them.

BUT

You will also un-meet everyone you met because of that person.

Press, about 1 thousandth of my bullying problems gone.

You are the best player of your favorite sport that ever was or will be

BUT

You said something 20 years ago and all of the sports media won't stop talking about making all of the fans of the sport throw up at the mention of your name due to over exposure and everyone hates you.

-press- As the best at a sport, I'd be exceedingly wealthy. I've been an outcast all my life, only difference is I'm essentially invisible. Overall, net gain.

You could live 100x as long as a normal human.

-but-

You would be twice as slow...not in terms of any kind of mundane IRL disability, you would simply be moving at a different time scale than everyone else. Conversations would be harder, you'd never win a race, and so on.