Impossible Gender Forge
This is a cool thread.
I'll make sure to come here once I need to plot scheme ponder my future.
@Matues: It doesn't need to be about your future, really. It could be about what you want to eat, or going to do today. The little things you want to do is a start, like choosing orange or apple juice, or deciding to sleep early from now on. >:3
And yo. Thank you for posting. 
edited 17th May '13 9:40:57 PM by TheJinny
Because I'm weird as heck, I'm going to start posting about myself as a goal of some sort. I'm trying to be a better person, so I'm applying various techniques to make it happen and want to be, so I could have a torch that could say "Hey, we could all do this, all we need to do is try!"
...And partly because I have a person I care about who decided not to try anymore. Various other people got me upset that they decided not to look into solutions over fixing their own problems, deciding to constantly get what life throws them instead of accepting that they're able to do things, all they need to do is try by starting small, simple steps.
I don't want anybody to doubt themselves over their capability to do things they haven't tried yet, so right now I wanted to start this trend.
I decided to put in everything I wanted to do to in a thread to keep myself and everybody in check over goals and remind themselves over what they needed to do. So right now, I'm copying a book by hand to send people PD Fs chapter by chapter about the books I'm currently readingnote . I've just did two and a half chapters typed up right now, and I'm serious about wanting to send people the resources to improve and better themselves. I've got around ten chapters to copy, and I'm betting I could finish this before Tuesday if I set my heart to it.
Or even later! Heck, I'm doing this right now. I'm this excited to complete around two or more. Guess I'm a weird stress junkie, but who cares.
I wish I named this "So, what are you going to do today?" but I decided otherwise.
Sometimes I hate myself that I couldn't do and forget things I promised myself to do, so I wanted to trust myself slowly that yes, I can do this.
If I could, I could do so many things. For now, then, I'd probably be the only one posting about this mini-goal of mine.
Or I should switch to having a blog...? Meh...yeah. A live-blog would be fine. Gah. There will be others, hopefully, that would try speaking their mind and post about their little plans.
And maybe if I slowly build up my confidence, I might be able to do things I've never imagined. I need all the patience that I could do, and this book reignited the passion I had over reading...even when it sounds a bit gimmicky over the sales-talky way of writing. It's efficient and straight to the point.
So yeah.
Goals
- Finish ten chapters of the book before Julesday.
- Type up the chapters I read by that day
- Take it to heart.
- Reread it again.
- Spend most of the day doing this to practice being productive.
Finished so far
- Two and a half chapters
- Seven and a half to go.
- Three days left
Solid plans are awesome! And related cheer-up song!!! :D
edited 18th May '13 12:30:06 AM by TheJinny
Hello, I'm Immi. And I guess I'm here because I like attempting to be social, but really don't have a knack for small talk.
Alright, for the past few (only more) months, I've been considering my writing. For a long time, I was feeling particularly uninspired and not doing nearly as much work on any of my projects as I considered ideal. Luckily, this was not one of the times where I tried to push through anyway and make it work, so I started making an active attempt to read more.
This coming from someone who looks at any book that has any text on its cover that I don't immediately recognize from somewhere with very obvious mistrust. New things are scary.
So I started reading a few books and paid very close (I tried) attention to what I liked and didn't like, and how the text used evoked that response, and so on and so forth. It's been fun, and probably healthier than reading the same things over and over again.
And I don't know if the two are directly related, but for the past couple of weeks I've been able to write again. Not a lot, but I've enjoyed it.
And, as something that could be considered a sign of personal growth, I picked up a couple books at random from the library for the first time since I was about eight, so that's pretty awesome too.
PM box is always open.
Wide Eyed Wonderman
I'm Smythe Ordo, or Smydro. I am here because I want myself to appear attractive and confident enough for the girl I am interested in to accept me for a potential boyfriend.
Obstacles:
- She's an enigma...at times I think she really likes me other days I think she utterly despises me.
- Both of us are AS introverts which makes conversation already awkward.
- I dunno if my peers telling stuff about me to her will affect anything.
- She saw me and an Unperson in my life break up, as did everyone else in our group. Hope this doesn't affect anything.
What Can I do?:
- I am gonna try to appear as happy as possible.
- Try not to give a fuck.
- Make it short and sweet
Anything else?
David Bowie 1947-2016
My grandma bonked me on the head this morning. I was too stressed I slept from 7 am?? to 7:30 am, so I told her about this little project I'm doing. FAK.
I was that desperate to write all this ideas pouring in me, but I'm tired as fuck, I couldn't do anything yesterday. Two days ago, I wrote a story. It was the longest prologue I did, and I had a whole bunch of fun writing about it. I guess that's what matters the most, writing when you do have passion instead of forcing it...but I was too excited I exaggerated everything. So I made a new one, better and more realistic. It was good~
I'm happy I started getting inspired that I got excited writing the chapters from the book yesterday, but I lost sleep again and then broke down after. I remembered my priorities: If it doesn't make you happy, cut it out. If it makes you happy, do it. But remember, you couldn't be happy if you don't focus on getting yourself healthy.
So I'm planning on making my goals reasonable and possible. To make plans that would push through. And being on the computer the whole time doing the same thing wouldn't make things productive for me, retyping the book. I still will, but I'd break it down into a chapter or half chapter a day, or while I could still do it.
I realized I'm using it as a crutch to distract myself to the real world and my problems, and it's not a productive way to live. I once played most of my hours playing Monster Girl Quest and progressed far on Dragon Quest III so I could catch up on my friend, but it turned out his file got corrupted on Dragon Quest III. Screw this, right? He will catch up on me, better too! But I'm still hoping he'd finish it again for me. He's so cute!!! I made a whole fanfic about him going to the Philippines, along with the thread gang... XD
Muahahaha. I'm so crazy, aren't I? Guess that's what my friends love about me! And what I love about him, being so...cute and wonky and yet still considerate as hell over feelings. He means a lot to me, and I like him a lot. Damnit really, he's so adorable I wanna hug him and take him home with me, and doing lots of funny stuff like getting him to smile and laugh and all. He inspires that kind of feelings for me, and I love it.
He doesn't make me miserable, and urges me to try to be better. Which is why I like him a lot! :D
Damnit why are you so cute I made a whole thread for you! And PDFs! Damnit...what a cutie...
I wish this would last, our little friendship. But for now, I probably wont show him this thread. I'm hoping I could round up most of my friends and post here if they're ready and want to be on the journey of being better and changing themselves. Hehe... :3
But I probably wouldn't have enough posts anyway. I'd switch to a liveblog...but if I do have a bunch, thank goodness, that would make me happy as heck!
Please grant me posters, please please please. I want friends who want to grow and change with me, instead of choosing not to do anything about their lives. And a boyfriend who do want to change and constantly strive to be better person/perfection. Because it's possible, if only they try!!! >.<
So yeah. Rant mode off. How long did I write this?!? XD
Goals
- Get proper sleep and diet.
- Exercise for two hours
- Type up a chapter or so to send to posters here.
- Be a good friend to those that matter and hopefully make real life friends out of them.
Attained
- Got proper sleep and ate alfafa sprouts, boiled egg and lettuce sandwich. ABL sandwich? Who the heck puts sprout on their sammich? XD
- Haven't exercised yet.
- A few more pages to go.
- I haven't yet responded, but I will. I only have online friends...
Awesome song I've stumbled! I love The Wanted!
I need to go the mall and church. Later. XD
So, what are you going to do today?
edited 19th May '13 5:02:30 AM by TheJinny
The day was great. I don't think I had trouble in social situations anymore...somehow, yeah. At least I could somehow smile at people greeting me or something.
And I feel stupid for asking you guys what you guys did. Most tropers have no lives. But what does having a life mean, anyway?
Going out and being with other people? Heck, most of the time I live inside my head, worrying about that stuff.
So. Feel free to pour about "What are you thinking, or wanted to do..." At least I could start in this little group.
Sorry. The following advice is on the spot and haven't given that much thought... XD
@Immi: Heh. Small-talk can be easy, all you had to do most of the time is listen and give your input in it and then listening to the other side—finding the right person to small-talk with, though is another story. Most of the time people aren't as bad as they thought they are, all they had to do is find someone who they could feel comfortable with.
I guess the first thing you'd need to work with is trying to get yourself to be comfortable in said situations. And broaden or lengthen your patience over mundane stuff, making those things that seem too unimportant to talk about, interesting. And, there is no thing as "not too interesting." Even being unable to poop could make a fun story! XD
If you are genuinely interested on the person your talking to, it would come naturally. Besides, with the right person, it might last for a bunch of hours or more. Even something as simple as the weather would make extremely fun small-talk if your interested in their lives.
If people bore you, then there's no need to small-talk about their lives and find people you could talk about your interests or your love of books. note
Concerning your writing, it's one of the first step that's needed—learning what you're interested and uninterested about. Purple prose and too much technical words turn me off, so I tend to find books that are quite easy to read or is stimulating enough mentally. Psychological thrillers are quite fun for me. And if I don't understand it, I tend to go: Oh nooo, don't read it. XD
Until I tried to give things a chance more and stay. What if it gets better?
Trying to be patient and accepting that there are things we wouldn't understand first would make learning new things easier. It's hard, but it's rewarding to learn new things. I used to shy away at conversations I have no idea about because appearing stupid is my greatest fear...until I realized everybody is stupid or not as smart as they appear they are, until they got good at hiding their inadequacies through a facade. And then they're not as passionate as they shown they are... XD
It was until I realized most people just wanted to have someone really listen to them over their passions or lives and then hopefully give their sincere input about it that would make things tolerable to small-talk...people don't expect people to be experts over topics of choice and it's unlikely even you expect people need to have something to say over every topic that comes out, anyway so try not to think that way.
...People aren't as attentive to bad things unless if they're that used to focusing on the bad things in life. Chances are, it's you who is quite judging and it projects to you right back with your fear.
Try not to, and accept people as who they are?
Don't be that harsh on yourself. I think you're not that bad at conversations, coming from when we were talking at the time. Just happened I wasn't quite in the mood to talk...
And, yeah. You did good. Instead of judging things as bad or not just because you think you wouldn't like it, it's good you tried it first. How about applying that lesson to social situations and real life as well?
Like over your aversion to small-talk. Why don't you start looking for what you want and not want in a person, and then choose who you could start talking and open up to?
Like Immi criteria for friends to small talk with
- Someone who will listen to me about my worries and passions
- Must have an open enough mind to attentively listen to my concerns
- Could also be passionate about in their interests and talk about it with me, too.
- Has their own opinion.
- Someone who could make weather talk interesting.
- Could also be passionate about in their interests and talk about it with me, too.
- Must have an open enough mind to attentively listen to my concerns
Things needed to do to get better at it
- Find the right person to talk to.
- Get interested in their lives and current passions.
- Have patience enough to listen and learn from them over things you don't know about with an open mind.
- Admit you have no idea over that topic and let them talk.
- Try to learn to open up about mundane stuff over your life like what you ate for dinner with open ended questions and ask about theirs too.
- Try to be interested in it, and then slowly turn the conversation into something you're currently thinking and feeling. Get them to open up, too.
- Tip: Don't wait for them to speak or comfortable first. You should be comfortable or genuinely like the person first. If you don't, they'd feel it and wouldn't like you, too.
- If they don't like you, give it time and keep trying. They might be thinking why they're befriending you first for the mistrust. Most people are quite distrustful with strangers over traumas, especially with people who's treating them warmly. Try to be quite understanding and patient to people's shit.
- Try to be interested in it, and then slowly turn the conversation into something you're currently thinking and feeling. Get them to open up, too.
- Don't stick to just one person you're comfortable with— find other people to talk to, too. Keep trying and finding people who'd accept you.
- Don't believe no one will like you, someone will at some point if you keep trying to look for people. Even me and those on the Anxiety Thread! :D
- Don't take conversations seriously, it's just small-talk, not a graded recitation. :3
- Okay? Especially if it's your crush, they're just humans, not monsters who'd eat you alive at the slightest provocation... XD
- Uh. Add more. You know yourself better than me. XD
@Smydro: Are you seriously doing this for yourself, or this girl you like? What if this girl doesn't like you, would you hate yourself? What is your reason for wanting to be a better person?
If it's for someone else, forget it. After getting that girl of your dreams, you'd still remain or revert as the same person as you are before. Fake it till you make it doesn't work.
If you're doing it for yourself because you wanted to be happier and confident enough to learn how to deal with life and obstacles better, do it.
But really. At least you made the decision to change, and that's good. Just to remind you that getting that girl you like wouldn't make you happier for long, in the end, it's up to you to make yourself happy. So let's focus on being happy and confident.
How do you get to be happy?
- Try to be grateful over the small-things that happen to you.
- It's hard to be upset if you keep trying to look at the small, mundane things that make you happy.
- Like eating your favorite food, appreciating your appearance or favorite part of yourself, people that understand and care for you right now.
- It's hard to be upset if you keep trying to look at the small, mundane things that make you happy.
- Learn to laugh at yourself and mistakes.
- Things aren't that bad as it seems, and when you look back, it's just another chapter on your life.
- As you do realize it only adds up to your knowledge and growth with everything that happens to you— that you could move forward, anticipating new things that do happen...not being upset with yourself. At least you have a story to tell!
- Don't take life too seriously! Nobody is judging you as you thought they are, except yourself.
- Things aren't that bad as it seems, and when you look back, it's just another chapter on your life.
- Find someone you aren't afraid to speak your heart and mind with.
- Realize that there is no thing as too small to tell people about. Chances are people are interested or are looking at something to talk about and grasp that opportunity to have something to say, and would be quite as happy with to talk to. :3
- Finding someone you could connect with is fun and enriching, tiring and a chore over the wrong people. Keep trying, okay?
- Simple try to laugh and smile, or being with people that do make you laugh. That is simple and an instant mood-enhancer. XD
- Find your passions, and pursue it.
So. Concerning your obstacles, here are the things I could say about. Really, she's human and you're human too. Don't take everything she does too seriously, or think through it.
Focus on actually being happy on the inside, that the outside would show. It's hard, simple and yet easy if you believe you could do it. And you will.
Do you have relationship ocd? If yes, try to do look up on it. XD
Gah hope I made sense. XD
edited 19th May '13 5:00:18 AM by TheJinny
Wide Eyed Wonderman
Yeah I get really nervous when trying to impress love interests in person. I mean it worked outright with my last ex since she outright told me she'd love to date me. Debren on the other hand is anm enigma. I think I'm pretty happy ATM so no offense but that really didn't help me...still love ya Jinny *hugs*
I think my biggest problem is building up confidence to say things to certain people without feeling feared or judged.
edited 19th May '13 7:11:18 AM by SmytheOrdo
David Bowie 1947-2016
That's good. So what do you think that would help or what you could do about it?
The only thing I believe that would impress that girl you like is improve yourself and do things that would you happy. That's what I'm trying to say. Don't think about being judged by trying not to judge people yourself. Give the benefit of the doubt.
Sorry for sounding long-winded. >.<
edited 19th May '13 7:26:37 AM by TheJinny
Wide Eyed Wonderman
She likes it when I seem bouncy and always begs me to be happy when I'm upset, so I do agree with what you are are saying jinny lol.
I just wanna put a plan in place to appear more confident and acting the part enough to say the important stuff to her, get my drift.
David Bowie 1947-2016
You couldn't act being confident and being happy. Either you're confident, or you're not. Even if you do manage to convince her, you will slip up at some point or she will see through it.
Besides, I do know you wanted to be really confident about yourself.
So, how do you start being confident in yourself?
- When you do promise to yourself over doing something, do it.
- If you kept slipping up on your own promises, you will start to doubt yourself. Besides, who would believe in a friend who constantly doesn't follow through with what they're saying?
- Just do it. Start with small and simple steps to start being confident.
- If you kept slipping up on your own promises, you will start to doubt yourself. Besides, who would believe in a friend who constantly doesn't follow through with what they're saying?
- Focus on what you could right now, and do it.
- You're a student, you have priorities you need to work on.
- Study harder and try to build the relationships that do matter to you.
- You're a student, you have priorities you need to work on.
- Get enough proper sleep at night. Being refreshed at the start of the day would have you make better decisions and a clearer mind.
- Exercise and have a proper diet.
- No alcohol, drugs, instant and junk food. Get fresh, wholesome food.
- Drink more water.
- Exercise and have a proper diet.
- Try to smile and laugh more often. :D
- Do things that would make you happy.
In the end, just believe that you can do things, and actually do it. It takes practice to get better, so don't quit when you do slip up. And that's enough.
Any more concerns? :3
Wide Eyed Wonderman
Well that second thing would be getting a job for me :P
My main concern is appearance in front of others. I mean I feel like I act awkward when trying to fit in. Theres this guy in the program who's maqin schtick is dirty jokes. Everyone finds him funny, yet when I try to copy him i get odd looks.
What can I do to make myself stand out in my own way while still fitting in?? I feel like thjis guy gets so much attention no one ever pays attention to me.
David Bowie 1947-2016
Two-bit blockhead
(no idea if I'm doing this right)
I'm Dr. Furball (AKA Chris). So, um...I feel as if I don't have control over what happens in my life. I live with my aunt, and we spend roughly five days a week babysitting her sister's kids. And on the days we don't, I still have to deal with her telling me when and how I should eat, whether or not I can go for a walk somewhere, when to sleep, and constantly doing the things she's too lazy to do. I'm not her roommate, I'm her babysitter. I also have the honor of serving as her verbal punching bag, and have been told that I have to stay with her forever (or at least until I get married). If I was a child or a teenager, okay. But I'm twenty-three freakin' years old. I guess the best way to deal with this is to get a paying job (been job-hunting for 5 years and counting), and set up an intervention with her sisters about how she needs to be more independant when I'm ready to move out.
Also, I'm an amateur comic artist/writer, and I'd like to be able to get more of it done, but can't for the reasons outlined above, as well as a lack of motivation/confidence. Lately, I've been better about it, actually getting a script finished, and I'm making some progress in redrawing the older chapters. Maybe I should work on it every day. Take the time I would spend looking at porn or napping, and use it to draw and write.
And thirdly, I want to grow some facial hair. I have a mustache and goatee, but half of it is vellus hair
, and not easily noticeable. I've been applying a shampoo onto it that promises to 'thicken' hair. So, we'll see if that works.
(did I do it right?)
Weird in a Can (updated M-F)
I'd post later for you guysnote . I have a bit of trouble right now...it's just, thank you for posting here Smydro and Chris. Bit tired up from worrying yesterday my brain just died. >.<
Today is my curfew. I was too stressed I didn't know what to do. I slipped up again with what I'm trying to do. Stop worrying, stop being afraid of people who would misunderstand. What you focus on the most is what you'd attract, that is the law of attraction.
So I'm trying hard to do all the things I could do to stop worrying. I'm afraid the things I say would be taken wrongly, and that they would keep their grudge over the things I didn't intend to do. But hey, that's life, right?
These days I was thinking of cutting out posting from TV Tropes indefinetly, but for some reason, I couldn't exactly quit. Taking a break from it would do nothing but forget it momentarily and find myself to preoccupy myself on. What could I do right now so I could lessen my stress from posting?
note
Things Jinny could do
- Distract yourself to the good things that you have done and how you were before, and go from it—however small it is.
- Listen to music and focus on the lyrics—even when they're mostly Japanese OST you have no knowledge what the heck they mean. Sing with a horrible voice, too! XD
- Don't depend on other people to remind it for you, but on yourself. You're the only one who could nourish your confidence in yourself when you're alone, not other people—because they wouldn't be there for you forever, but only yourself would be with you until you die.
- Keep trying and doing things, welcoming mistakes and failures. It's the failure that helps you out to learn in the long run, so learn to love and accept mistakes.
- No one is perfect, and no real friend or people who do matter would hate you for mistakes. If they do condemn you for it, they don't matter at all and it's a good riddance. A few years from now, they'd probably forget you already.
- Fucking sleep already! Don't think, unwind and be calm—if not, happy.
- Read books, avoid doing time-consuming activities to distract yourself, focus on people who do matter.
- In other words, nourish your mind and soul.
- Read books, avoid doing time-consuming activities to distract yourself, focus on people who do matter.
What Jinny accomplished
- You're reading that book already, and actually took it to heart—avoiding eating too much junk and processed stuff, and trying to build your self-esteem.
- You're already focusing on health and positivity, and that's a start! No matter how late it was that you actually followed it.
- You fully well know nobody could do this for you or understand you more, but yourself. If you think you're doing the right thing, you probably are—never, ever doubt yourself if you know what your doing is right. Because chances are, nobody doubting you, but you yourself.
- You slipped up, but you're bouncing right back, faster than ever before. Really, that's a big improvement for you.
- You started making friends more, and even when you couldn't spend that much time with them...you care a lot about them and want the best things for them.
- You're starting to find like-minded friends who do want to grow and better themselves with the same journey as you, even when they're two right now, and that's a start. There might be more, all you had to do is wait. :3
- You're trying hard to be a good friend that you deserve to cut yourself some slack. Your friends don't hate you or find you annoying, in fact, they find it endearing and told you numerous times that you're not. So stop doubting yourself and apologizing to them, treating like they're out to hurt you.
- You're a person who wants the best for everyone. How could anybody hate you, if you meant well—unless if they're insecure? So stop being afraid of being misunderstood, because it's natural to make mistakes and jump to conclusions—what matters the most is what they do about it when they do made that mistake. It's what defines their character—and most people here are understanding, patient and kind. So why be afraid of conflict? They're not going to hate you forever because of a silly misunderstanding...you're not that important in their life, anyway. They have their own life to live and problems to solve to deal with yours.
- They will not hurt you or leave you, and they want the best interests for you as you wanted for them...if they're a good friend.
- You started writing a whole lot more, and finding enough things to evoke your reaction. Soon, you will find everything interesting...as slow as this might be! Keep being positive, aja!
- You're preparing to get some sleep already! XD
- You started to rely on self-advising instead of letting her grandma lose sleep for you. >.<
- This is enough. What more do you want me to say?
- Oh right, you want me to say I'd always be there for you and you'd never be alone. I fucking will, so believe it already you clingy, dumbass bastard who wants people to affirm for you most of the time! You're annoying, but I have no choice since I'm you and there's nothing we could do about it even when you do hate yourself. We need to make things easier for us, right? And this is already a start, start believing in yourself more. You're a great person and trying to be as great as you could be, as with anybody else. So don't ever doubt yourself again. If you do, seek me, that little wisdom in your head that knows what to do. Because, everybody knows I'm wise...wiser than you could ever be alone, you fucking incompetent fool. So seek me, dumbass.
- We're in it, to win it, aren't we? Fuck, why am I quoting that stupid show.
- You started to rely on self-advising instead of letting her grandma lose sleep for you. >.<
Song: Hope ~ Hanatan
edited 19th May '13 5:35:14 PM by TheJinny
Bo "Jangles" Wyatt
I'm Mike although my real name's Ben, I prefer Mike online. It just sounds cooler, I guess.
My main reason for being here is to make...friends. Companions, in a way. People I can share interests with, talk about stuff with. Get into new stuff with.
...that's about all I can say, really. Trouble-wise, I just need to graduate. I've got plans for the summer, trying to write a game of sorts, looking to drum for a friend's band, stuff like that.
In the backyard, buried deep underneath the tree There's a monster, takin' root in the property...
Wide Eyed Wonderman
I'm gonna step outta my comfort zone and try to give you something here Mike:
- 1. Find something you are especially interested in.
- 2. Find a group of people that share that passion, whether onliine or IRL.
- 3. If you find a good group like this, be yourself and try to hi it off as well as possible
- 4. When someone seems to join in a discussion with you enough, ask if maybe you can hang outside of the activity.
Yay, I just finished the book! All I had to do is copy it a bit and reread it. But damn, I'm still tired. I avoided eating delicious looking pasta because there's vienna sausage in it, despite being extra spicy.
Hey, except Tinola is a good dish, and I had rice with it too. With no fish sauce in it, just salt, pepper, a few slices of ginger, green papayas, spinach and malunggay. Bland tasting broth that I added some kalamansi in it, mixing the broth on the rice. Yum. Been awhile since I'm this satisfied.
@Mike: How are your studies doing, do you think you're doing fine? What are you having trouble with? And lastly, but most importantly—what are you doing about it right now?
Gah. I'm trying not to jump into conclusions, but I couldn't say anything over how vague it is...nothing but a goodluck, Mikey! I don't think you mind about this if I have nothing to say, anyway. Plus, wanted to remind you that I'm here whether you'd graduate or not. God, wtf did I say. XD
But right now I'm hoping you're doing the best you can about it, while relaxing to keep your mind sane and happy.
And the best way to be sane and happy is to get proper sleep, exercise and diet, with no processed junk, minimal caffeine and drinks. I need to send that short "Final Thoughts" to you guys if I get to it... xD -hugs-
Over your plans, I hope you could follow through with them. Do you want to talk about what your plans? I wanna hear about your videogame plan and this gig you have in a band.
Thinking of it happening and what you will do when it happened is another step of planning. Making plans is fun and addicting, overwhelming at times, but still, something to look forward to—if you do set your heart and mind to it happening!
Geez what am I saying. I hope you're getting enough rest that you need... XD
@Smydro: Hehe. It's good you went out of your comfort zone and wanted to speak for yourself, but it's not exactly what he's looking for. Listen first, instead of being too excited to jump in. I think he already found what he is looking for.
Let him speak a bit and actually listen to what he's saying—but hey, at least you still tried and posted. That's better than doing nothing at all. Give advice when they do ask for advice.
What I said for you is necessary to be less awkward and confident in your own skin. But if you don't want to focus on that, and on what you're dealing with right now, than heh.
Probably because he's getting enough attention because he genuinely and naturally likes people, pays attention to them and make them feel like a thousand bucks, which in turn attracts a lot of attention right back. It takes a lot of work, though.
How do you make people feel special?
How to make people special
- Greet them a good morning, smile at them. Try to genuinely enjoy their presence.
- Nobody wants to be with a person who's constantly depressed or doesn't like them. So do try to be happy and like everyone you meet no matter what they treat you.
- Be a good friend.
- Talk and listen to them, ask them about their day with an open heart and ear—tell them what you think and feel too. Just, exchange viewpoints. Don't let them talk most of the time, and don't talk most of the time either. Balance it.
- If they're the type who doesn't talk or is socially awkward, let them speak and get comfortable first. These things take a lot of time, and you couldn't make a person warm up to you instantly.
- Find people who you think are easy to befriend and do try to talk to them.
- Talk and listen to them, ask them about their day with an open heart and ear—tell them what you think and feel too. Just, exchange viewpoints. Don't let them talk most of the time, and don't talk most of the time either. Balance it.
- Just, as you are doing all this, you're doing this because you genuinely want to fit in and have numerous friends.
- It wouldn't make you happy as you do receive what you were looking for in the end, and realize along the way it's much more satisfying to have a few, real close friends that you could talk easier to, than a bunch of acquaintances you couldn't count on.
- You will still feel lonely, especially if there's a crowd who do like you for all the things you do for them, but not because they genuinely enjoy your presence.
- So if you're willing to do all this work to have more friends and fit in, then just do it. You'd get rejected numerous times as you're on this way because the universe or people are testing your intentions, all you had to do is keep strong and keep going. These things are just a test over what your beliefs, anyway.
- You're different and yet the same. Find what you like and dislike, and who you are as a person—and as you do know what you like, you could find the perfect person who shares the same beliefs and passions as you do.
- Just be a nice person who means well for everyone, and yet tell when they do cross the line. That's enough.
If this advice doesn't help again, please say so. I have trouble giving advice that do fit, so I tend to need feedback. Besides, I'm more patient these days, anyway, so I wouldn't get tired of you. :3
Because I want friends and I'm not that picky, anyway. XD
@Chris: If I sound rather mean, sorry. You're living with your aunt, what do you expect? You could try to be grateful that she's letting you live in her house, and it's part of the deal to how learn to cope with her being difficult and deal with the least possible stress for you. She has the right to tell you what to do because you she's providing you housing and maybe financial support too.
What more do you want? It doesn't seem that bad. Heck, I live on my maternal grandpa's sisters. If it isn't possible to move out right now, can I ask you, are there ways you could fix your relationship with your aunt? Had you tried telling her about your concerns and feelings about her, if she's making you frustrated? Maybe it's unintentional, and thought she meant well for you.
If her being controlling upsets you— do tell her about it. Tell her you do know how to make your own decisions, and you don't need her to tell you how to do things. If she still doesn't listen, learn how to ignore her when she does that since you already said how you felt. Don't blow up and say it calmly.
Tell her you don't need her to tell her what to do, and that she could focus on what she could do to herself, since she couldn't control other people...the only person she has a control of is yourself. Really, it's out of your control, so what's the point of stressing out over it?
That advice goes with you, too. You couldn't change your aunt, but you could change how you could approach her. And, it's best to focus on that, isn't it? To make living with her the sanest and easiest as possible?
If living with her is stressful, do things to slowly get away from her and cool off. There's nothing much you can do but cope—and escaping it isn't a solution. There would be other problems that would pop up that stresses you.
How about learning about stress management, too? You having trouble with that, dood? XD
Over lacking confidence and motivation, those stuff takes time and you couldn't force it. If you don't want to write and draw, then don't...or else it would turn sloppy. You need to enjoy it.
Research or read various other works, and keep trying to look for things that would evoke your reaction or inspire you. Watch and experience new various things, go out and have fun.
Do things you love. What are the things that you do enjoy?
Find your passion, and keep doing it. If sex is your passion, haven't you tried writing and drawing adult works? Really. Just do things you love and follow it.
It's good you finished a script and redrawn old chapters. I just hope you'd keep having the passion to do these things.
So...how about finding other things you might enjoy? Widen your perspective? Do more things? :3
Just do things that would make you satisfied and happy. If it doesn't, just stop. Living with your aunt doesn't make you happy? Then find ways to cope with her better and less stressful, communicate a whole lot more. These things would help you how to deal with difficult people, and if you do know how to deal with her, nobody would stress you as much as her.
And! You could always write stories about how annoying your aunt is and draw about her, and maybe write about how you'd want her to be like and develop her character. Maybe it would happen, if only you keep faith that she will change.
The good thing about having an annoying family member is that you could have an instant small-talk about how annoying she is. Another conversation fuel. The Annoying Things My Aunt Does would be interesting as heck... XD
...But meh. After everything I said, what are you willing to do to make things easier for you? It's you yourself who knows what to do, and I'm 18, living in my grandma's house, going to college for the first time in two years again on June. XD
So I have no idea what advice to give you other than try to fix the relationship with your aunt while you're with her to make it enjoyable and tolerable for you while taking care of her sister's kids and finding a job and an apartment. Maybe you're enjoying being with her kids, too.
I wish I had vellus hair on my legs and upper lip instead. Also if you want them to grow, you couldn't control your facial hair growth, keep shaving it and it'd grow thicker, hopefully. But it's been disproved already. Heh...massage your facial hair to stimulate it's growth, don't let it dry, and don't overwash it. It would cause more breakage. Rinse it in cool or luke warm water to prevent breakage due to drying the hair out. Apply coconut or olive oil to moisturize your peach fuzz. Here.
Bah... >////>
Stubbles are adorable, btw. Makes me want to rub my hands on their rough skin...it feels good on my skin, how rough it is. :D
Damn I'm crazy. ~___~
Also another topic on your peach fuzz.
Is it true that shaving unwanted body hair makes it grow back thicker and darker?
Answer
from Lawrence E. Gibson, M.D.
No — shaving hair doesn't change its thickness, color or rate of growth.
Shaving facial or body hair gives the hair a blunt tip. The tip might feel coarse or "stubbly" for a time as it grows out. During this phase, the hair might be more noticeable and perhaps appear darker or thicker — but it's not.
Consult your doctor if you notice a sudden increase in facial or body hair. This could be a medication side effect or a sign of an underlying medical condition. ~ Mayo Clinic
Oh god, Jinny what. XD
edited 19th May '13 11:08:05 PM by TheJinny
Wide Eyed Wonderman
Not HIM I'm concerned about, its others. I feel like he's S T O L E N my friends in the group.
David Bowie 1947-2016
I thought you wanted to have friends as him, too? So I told you steps so you could fit in. And he probably won them over because he's a nice person. >.>
What's he like, anyway? I'm sorry, I didn't understand quite well. .______.
edited 19th May '13 11:42:40 PM by TheJinny
Wide Eyed Wonderman
He kinda acts like a jerk TBH.
Ah forget it. Only 2 more days with the group and I'll be alone again...ahhh paradise.
Hopefully Debren will accept my invitation, which brings me to my next subject...a good time to bring up asking her on a date. We are going minigolfing tuesday and I dunno if I wanna ask her ouut at lunch or during the game.
edited 20th May '13 12:16:04 AM by SmytheOrdo
David Bowie 1947-2016
Two-bit blockhead
That advice goes with you, too. You couldn't change your aunt, but you could change how you could approach her. And, it's best to focus on that, isn't it? To make living with her the sanest and easiest as possible?
Research or read various other works, and keep trying to look for things that would evoke your reaction or inspire you. Watch and experience new various things, go out and have fun.
Find your passion, and keep doing it. If sex is your passion, haven't you tried writing and drawing adult works? Really. Just do things you love and follow it.
Meh wrong thread. XDDD
edited 21st May '13 7:33:35 PM by TheJinny
ಠ_ಠ
Hello, I'm Nerd Bird, but I answer to Nirdy, Birdy, Chocolate Thunda, Danny or Danica.
My reason for being here? Well...uh...I have this horrible habit. When I meet someone I like, I will emotionally and mentally drain them with my constant bombardment of messages, texts, calls, etc.
My literal Aspie mind tells me that if you like someone, you should show it. But social conventions suggest otherwise (i.e. "play it cool"). I'm sick of guys being bored with me after two months or so, yet I don't want to be distant either.
I'm in a tizzy here.
ಠ_ಠ
@Nerd: I'm on an ipod so i couldn't respond properly but...is the problem with you is that you constantly find the wrong men? What kind of men do you go for? That probably is the problem, because if a guy is that into you, he wont get bored of you regardless.
Or rather, do you like pursuing men? I still believe it's not you, but the guys you're into...
On my count, I tend to fall for distant/reserved/quiet guys more for reasons I'm not sure about. Probably because I liked showing how much I care or making them smile, but i realize I tire out easily. Saying this, I have two warm men I'm squish/crushing on. ~___~ i'm forcing myself not to fall for people.
I'll be back later because this post is derp. And that's an adorable/annoying problem. Went through that up to know, thoygh when i pull away they kept chasing after me. >~>
This is the thread that focuses over regaining control over your life. Had you started to think you couldn't do it, justify numerous reasons over why you just couldn't that it blinds you over wanting to do anything about it?
If yes, this is the thread for you! -puked over the stupid sounding pep talk.-
Screw this corny intro sentence. I made this thread so I could hopefully help inspire people that there is still a chance to solve problems no matter how little like breaking having a paper-cut, and that if you do have one, you could find solutions here.
But there's a bunch of rules.
Da Rules
Why are you here for?
Making things short, if you're ready for some change and want to do something about it, feel free to post. At least I'm sure I'd try to be here to entertain you guys while we're on our way together.
Goddamn I'm nervous making a new threadnote ...oh right, I have a book I'm currently reading. If anybody's interested, I could PM them the link of the PDF for personal use only. Plus someone to beta-read and proof-read this little private project I'm makingnote ... >/////>
Enjoy the song and the ride, at least I'd try to be here and respond to everyone if I have time.
Gah gah gah I'm so nervous and excited for college I'm pouring myself on books.... ;_______;
edited 17th May '13 8:27:30 PM by TheJinny