How to visit our countries.

no troping on an empty stomach, Gabrael.

Chips are better. They're thicker.

I heard they sell turkey legs, too. Or was that only in Florida? Man, what I'd give for some turkey leg. I only get that here on the holidays :(

edited 26th Sep '12 4:58:16 PM by Ronskie

There are. I see those at fairs a lot along with funnel cakes, foot long sausages, though the deep fried sweets like twinkies, candy bars, and pickles are waning in popularity.

The farther south you go the more barbeque and meat stands. I even saw a jerky stand in Oklahoma with everything from buffalo to alligator to kangaroo.

I've actually seen a chip truck driving along on the highway. It was pretty amazing.

Wait, whose definition of "chips" are we using? In Britain we have chip vans which are essentially chippies on wheels, typically serving rural areas where simply walking to the nearest chippy isn't an option.

American chips = British crisps

I was refering to the potatoe chip. They only way you get British chips is if you ask for french fries, which can also be found on travelling stands.

Chip trucks sell french fries. When fries are fresh-cut and maybe a little thicker than normal, we call them chips, especially when they're served with fried fish.

"A Mr Chippie van?"

>: < "We can't travel in that shit-heap!"

: < "Buddy Holly's last words."

"What?"

: < "'We can't travel in that shit-heap.'"

O.o "Did Buddy Holly say that?"

: < "Right before he flew to meet his destiny on that storm-tossed night."

So in conclusion, Carthage must be destroyed go watch The Commitments.

Canadians. Keeping it linguistically semi-real on the North American continent since 1867.

edited 27th Sep '12 2:11:27 PM by pagad

Well, come on, you wouldn't eat McCain crinkle-cuts and call them chips, would you? English has half-synonyms for a reason! XD

hopey, that one in the last page sounds like a quote from one of my favourite programs on the BBC.

"Goodness Gracious Me!"

love that show!

Indian man 1: . For starter we shall have 6... no 12 bread rolls. For main course everybody? Indian Man 2: What's the blandest thing on the menu? James the Waiter: The scampi's our specialty sir. Indian Man 2: I'll have that.

From imdb.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0137305/quotes

Sheer class.

Rule for visiting Australia: Under no circumstances should you loiter under gum trees. There's a vicious lot of buggers called dropbears who, as the name implies, drop down from gum trees to attack their prey.

:P

If you are camping in Canada, do not do so in the north and do not camp under a cliff. Wolverines have been known to spot a foe larger than them, climb up cliffs, drop onto them, and eat them to death. I am dead fucking serious. Not for nothing is Canada occasionally referred to as Cold Australia.

Gaah. Having never really given them much thought before ("wolverines? They're like wolves crossed with badgers, right?"), there's a sequence in The Boys that managed to make me terrified of them in just a few short panels - though the realism of the scene in question is rather dubious...

What I was told about "drop bears" from my cousin who honeymooned in Australia, is that they're just Koalas who lost their grip on the tree and flail wildly for something to grab onto. If you're underneath them, that's you. Mind the long, sharp claws.

@ Tam. That's what I was getting at! :D

How to visit Alaska:

If you came on a cruise ship, we already don't like you. Take the Alaska Marine Highway System if you can, you're helping our economy that way! If you want to blend in, don't wear your camera, and don't wear a rain poncho or fanny-pack. Or carry an umbrella. All of those scream tourist. When you say "native," you are thinking "local." When we say "Native," we mean those of Native Alaskan descent (Tlingit, Haida, Tsimshian, Aleut, Athabascan, Inupiat, Yupik...) . "Local" would be the term for non-Native residents. Also, don't call people Eskimos. Only the Inupiat and Yupik branches of the Eskimo family are Eskimo, and they don't even call themselves that. Don't talk about the Palin's. Seriously. Don't. Especially in Juneau.

• List of questions you shouldn't ask, (and their answers):
• Do you live in igloos? (No. Do you live in ignorance?)
• Where can I see polar bears? (North Slope, in winter)
• Where did you get your glacier? China? (It was here before humans were. China cannot build glaciers. Speaking of the glacier, it's made of ice, not Styrofoam, and you can't drive on it!)
• How long is a day here? (24 hours)
• What's the elevation here? (If you came on a cruise ship, it's sea-level. Durrrr.)
• Do you take a dog sled to school/work/etc? (No. I drive a Volkswagen Jetta.)
• Do you take American money? (Do you even see all those American flags on the poles outsides?)
• What time do you turn on the Northern Lights? (The Northern Lights happen when charged particles or solar winds hit the Earth's atmosphere.)

In case you were wondering, we get these stupid questions mostly from our fellow Americans. Yet another reason why many Alaskans would like Canada to take over.

edited 30th Sep '12 12:18:49 PM by Sakan4k

Wait, seriously? You guys want us in charge?

The Red State image kinda suggests the opposite...

Don't be fooled by all those shows about Alaska on the Discovery Channel. While we do have our fair share of rednecks and 2.5 guns per person, there is many an Alaskan who'd rather be Canadian. It's mostly the gun issue that makes us a Red State, otherwise, Alaska as a whole is fairly moderate.

edited 30th Sep '12 1:10:54 PM by Sakan4k

We can't afford to buy Alaska; the Russians offered it to us first back in the day but America made the higher bid. Honestly, if we had the money for Alaska, we'd spend it on Turks & Cacos.

Sorry guys, nothin' personal; we've just got more than our fair share of tundra already. But hey, if you move here we'll pay you to live in NWT or Yukon. Wait, we might not be able to afford to pay you as much as the US does to live in the North; how much do you get in the way of subsidies?

Furiko: We could always just employ them in the oil, gas, or mining industries up north. The minimum yearly salary is like $200 000/year, and they get minimum two months vacation due to the nature of the industry.

The income is high because no one from the provinces wants to work up there.

@Furiko: I can't think of much for specific Federal subsidies, but every October Alaskans get their Permanent Fund Dividend (PFD) which is money we get from oil sales, royalties, etc. This year it is a meager $878, as opposed to last year's $1100 something. Some people buy TV's while others get necessities. Considering the price of fuel and food up here, the PFD is very much needed for those essentials or stocking up for winter.

If you go to Chile... well, you better have someone who speaks Spanish really well.