FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
The buzzer (or bell or whichever sound effect they use in each episode) is controlled by Andy Zaltzman, who is the pun run guy. He's primed to point out his own puns so he probably wouldn't feel the need to buzz at someone else's. The red flag thing (I'm not even sure if it counts as a pun) was said by John Oliver, so there's no buzzer.
Long-time listeners of the show will also know that John likes to claim that he detests puns so much he'd never make one on purpose, with Andy frequently accusing him of hypocrisy when John does end up using a pun in The Daily Show (or, more recently, in his own show.)
If you haven't discovered The Bugle yet you should definitely give it a go. For me it's basically the best and funniest thing ever (well, maybe after Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle) and I think anyone who hasn't listened to The Bugle hasn't really lived the human experience the way it's meant to be lived.
edited 30th Apr '15 8:06:21 AM by BestOf
Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
If every episode is that loaded with puns I'll be sure to enjoy it. :D
And I count it as a pun because of the choice to use that particular idiom given China's vividly red flag. :P
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
There's not a pun run in every episode but they are quite frequent.
The main attraction of the show is the satire. It's brilliant. Oliver and Zatzman are both excellent satirists, and because of their history as a double act they've got great chemistry. They both come into each show with a bunch of pre-written material about the week's events - they haven't seen each other's stuff. It's great how well they riff off of each other's material and make each other laugh.
Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Here's some crude wordplay you may or may not have heard already:
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny piano. Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.
The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside. Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed "I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
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Speaking of which...
edited 3rd May '15 5:37:23 PM by AHI-3000
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
I remember hearing that joke, with pianist replaced with a bird chick on fire.
Hot chick?
Why was Huey P. Long bad at chess?
All his pieces were kings.
Two-bit blockhead
A doctor tells his patient that he has good news and bad.
"The good news is that you have 24 hours to live."
"What? If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
"I forgot to tell you yesterday."
Weird in a Can (updated M-F)
RJ Savoy
Why was six afraid of seven?
When you're dehumanised to the point of being known only by a number, paranoia comes naturally.
Stories don't tell us monsters exist; we knew that already. They show us that monsters can be trademarked and milked for years.
Just listen to me...
I got this email the other day from a friend
Ve haf yust sent you da "NORVEGIAN VIRUS". Since ve do not haf any programming experience and do not know how to actually damage your computer, dis Virus verks on da honor system.
Please forward dis Virus to eferyvone on your mailing list and den manually delete all of da files on your hard drive.
Coriander Hasp, Excrucian Deceiver at your service
@Pyrite: Wow, I just saw that.
what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
A classic military joke. It is clean I promise.
One day a company of US Army Infantry is out on forced march exercise with full kit. During the march they come to the base of a hill and suddenly a US Marine Infantryman pops up on top of the hill. Standing in a cocky devil may care pose he starts shouting how much the army sucks.
The officer of the US Army Infantry calls up two of his biggest brawlers and says to them. "Go teach that cocky Marine son of a bitch a lesson." The two soldiers shed their packs and dash up the hill after the Marine. The Marine falls backs behind the hill followed shortly after by the two soldiers. For a few short moments some shouting is heard followed by some solid thumps and cursing. The Officer starts grinning.
Suddenly the Marine is back at the top of the hill unscathed and starts shouting how much the army sucks again. The officer furious at the insults and failure of his two brawlers calls up a full squad of troopers. "Beat the shit out of that Marine bastard!". The whole squad starts whooping, hollering, and yelling as they chase the Marine over the hill. For the next 30 minutes there is the sound of an intense fight with a lot of screaming, shouting, and yelling followed by a long sudden silence.
The officer nods his head thinking the boys had done the job. Much to his dismay the Marine soon mounts the top of the hill and begins insulting the officer and other soldiers. Feeling absolutely furious the officer orders the rest of the company after the Marine. "Beat that Marine to a bloody pulp!". With a battle cry and roar the rest of the company rushes up the hill after the Marine. For the next 3 hours there are sounds of an intense battle. The screams of injured and the din of battle carrying for miles. Finally the Marine comes to the top of a hill and throws a half conscious soldier down the side and walks away. The Officer rushes to the injured soldiers side. "Damn it Son tell me what happened?". The Soldier gasps in pain. "It was a trap sir. There were two of them."
One day during WWII an American pastor invites a Swedish fighter pilot to talk to his congregation about the war against the Germans. The young man turns out to be an experienced fighter pilot and was enthusiastic about his part in the war. He starts getting animated about a particular incicent. " There was a Fokker to the left of me and Fokker to the right of me!" The congregation gasps aloud. The pastor also a volunteer air raid marshall calms the people down explaining that a Fokker was a type of aeroplane. The Swedish pilot grinning speaks up. " Ja,ja but these fokkers were Messerschmitts."
One of the well known facts of military life is the difference in lingo often how the same word is used to mean different things in each branch. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
This one is a little dirty.
A very rich old man is on his deathbed and is going to die soon, so he calls in his three sons. He gives them each a duck and tells them that the one who gets the most for his duck will be given everything the old man owns. The first son goes out, and when he comes back he says, "Father! Father! I got $10 for my duck!"
His father says, "That is very good let's see how your other brothers do."
About a day later the second brother comes home and he says, "Father! Father! I got $15 for my duck."
The old man replies, "So far you have done the best, but let's wait and see what your little brother does."
While the last brother was looking for someone to buy his duck, he happened to pass by a bar. When he got into the bar he saw the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen before, so he told her, "I'll give you this duck for a fuck."
She replied, "Ok."
When the boy got home to his father, his father was so furious that he yelled, "You get your ass back in that bar and get that duck back!"
So the boy returned to the bar and found the same girl and told her his tale. He then said, "I'll give you a fuck for that duck." She agreed and while they were fucking the duck flew out the window and got hit by a truck.
The truck driver was so sorry about what had happened that he offered to pay for the duck. The boy then replied, "$20 would do nicely."
"No problem," said the driver. When the boy got home he was beaming with pride. He shouted, "I won! I won! I got a fuck for a duck a duck for a fuck and twenty bucks for a fucked up duck."
Who watches the watchmen?
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
One of my teachers was a big breasted hot lady, about the history of buttons. I still found the class boring.
Hot as she might have been, when it comes to button she just couldn't fasten eight.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Oh, just got another one.
Christians say that God invented love.
Contrast to their claims, however, Satan did not invent hate in response.
He simply invented marriage.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
Making Unicorns Cool Again Since 2010
What did Garfield say when he met The Invisible Man?
Long time, no see.
Princess Aurora is underrated, pass it on.
Two-bit blockhead
Making Unicorns Cool Again Since 2010
This one is from one of my few good memories of Commercials I Hate:
Me: Why? Why is it that in Soviet Russia inanimate objects do things to you?
The answer I got: In Soviet Russia, point misses you! 
edited 17th May '15 4:57:25 PM by Demetrios
Princess Aurora is underrated, pass it on.
Dost thou question the power of thys pimp hand?
My entire life.
"Do you think that has anything to do with you downloading over 700 gigs of pornography on here?"
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
Why was the Norse God of Thunder limping after he was shrunk?
Because he was a little Thor.
Who watches the watchmen?
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Why don't you want to challenge his priests to a violin-making competition?
They are all Thor luthers
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Why did they bury the fireman behind the hill?
Because NANOMACHINES, SON.
The fact that only 140 characters are allowed here is honestly so disappointing to me.
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
I am afraid that one falls more then a little flat.
Who watches the watchmen?
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How is there no buzzer after "waving a red flag at a very angry bull"...?
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable