Digimon Whatever

Here is a synopsis for the first episode of a digimon season created by myself (if you don't know what kind of digimon I'm digimon I'm talking about look it up here)

A 11 or 12 year old young man is walking along a street, when he sees something glowing, he finds out it's a Digivice. He grabs it and then it shoots out a portal to the Digital World. Throwing caution to the wind he goes inside and finds himself in a tropical digital forest (like File Island)

Our protagonist walks a bit but trips on a root. losing the Digivice in the undergrowth, fearing that without it, he won't he able to go home, he searches for it franticly in the undergrowth

Nearby a Tapirmon while snuffling around the undergrowth looking for something edible, finds the Digivice. Our protagonist sees this and asks for it back. The Tapirmon refuses and so a tug-of-war ensues,

Our protagonist is the victor and boasts that maybe he can go home. The Tapirmon hearing this asks where is he from, our protagonist says earth, The Tapirmon says "never heard of it" and tells him that he is a Digimon (Digi as in Digital and Mon as in Monster) and he is in the Digital World

They are interrupted by screams of terror, our protagonist tells Tapirmon "we should check that out" Tapirmon replies "who we have to?" they run off to a town of Numemon that is being terrorised by a Nanimon Who is "invading" the town, While looking at the carnage Tapirmon says "let me guess, you want to stop him right?" our protagonist gives him the Death Glare Tapirmon sighs then says "alright fine"

Tapirmon defeats Nanimon in a fight and our protagonist asks him why was he invading in the first place, Nanimon replies "I'm not sure" the protagonist says "can't you think of something better to do that doesn't involve hurting people?" the crowd of Numemon says "huh?" in unison, Tapirmon then says "he means Digimon when he says that" the crowd of Numemon says "oh" in unison, Nanimon agrees then runs off to the town hardware store, goes in and comes out with large quanity of 2X4s and various tools then runs off into the distance, a Numemon wearing an apron with tools in it comes out of the hardware store and screams "Get back here you stinking thief!"

Our protagonist and his Tapirmon buddy are walking along a path with the Numemon town behind him. Our protagonist tells the Tapirmon that they make a good team, Tapirmon replies "but I did all the fighting!" The portagonist says "lets not get into details" The two then see a sterotypical Bad Guy Bar with a grand opening sign near it, Nanimon comes out and asks them to come in. He offers the two a drink, Our protagonist asks what kind of drink is in his glass, Nanimon says "either soda pop or hard liquor" Our protagonist and Tapirmon both Death Glare him, Nanimon replies "what?, The labelless bottles with mystery liquid inside them were cheaper!"

The End

Comments, Criticisms and Death Threats are welcome (Praise is not welcome, because I don't want an inflated ego)

edited 1st Jun '12 6:00:00 PM by truteal

Well, since you said no praise...

Okay. I'm not exactly an expert on Digimon, but I think I know/remember enough about it to ask you a few questions; hopefully, they'll be able to help you out.

1) One of the things that made Digimon so memorable (in my opinion) is the interaction between the characters — the lead children, their partner Mons, and more often than not, their parents. Their relationships are a massive part of the franchise, and while it would take a while for those relationships to be fully fleshed out, there were still plenty of threads to follow even in the earliest segments.

Why do I bring this up? Well, given your "first episode," I'd say you're moving toward a unique relationship between the hero and Tapirmon (which I like), but I just wanted to make sure you're writing with said relationship in mind instead of an afterthought. More importantly, how will they react/develop thanks to the presence of other characters — and by extension, will there be other teams in the story? I'm assuming you've put a fair amount of thought into it already, but if I were reading your story in earnest, that's the FIRST thing I'd start looking for.

2) Another thing that made Digimon memorable was the plot (what a surprise). Season 1 started with seven kids trapped in another world fighting against the elements. Season 2: a batch of kids, rookie and veteran, going up against a young emperor and his army. Season 3: using (perhaps even controlling) partner Digimon at their discretion to face off with wild beasties threatening the town. Season 4: children called to another world to make them reincarnated legendary warriors to fight a great evil. Granted those objectives didn't stay constant throughout, but they set themselves up rather quickly and built tension and stakes from there.

Reading your rundown makes me wonder where, exactly, you plan on taking this. Don't get me wrong, I know not every story has to go from zero to sixty by the first chapter's end (I speak from experience), but I'm having a hard time finding something to — metaphorically speaking — tune in for the next episode. There's a kid trapped in the Digital World. He finds a "partner." Okay, cool. So...what? Is he in any grave danger? Is there something he's supposed to do here? Maybe he's got Chronic Hero Syndrome, and doesn't want to go home until he's saved the world?

To be fair, a summary probably isn't the best format for convincing me to follow along; even so, what I want to see most is "conflict." What's this kid going up against? What are his odds? How dangerous a foe (internal or external) is it? I'm not really getting a feel for that right now, but I suspect you can add that with ease, given time or even a chance to show more content. If you can give your fans something to latch onto early and thoroughly, I guarantee you'll have a much stronger product.

tl;dr: There's definitely some prodigious potential here, so just keep working on it and you'll have something rivaling the canon.

By the way, if you haven't seen JesuOtaku's Digimon Retrospectives, that's a GREAT reference.

I'm not going to make this into a fanfic, I'm just going to post symposises for episodes/seasons, plus, this season should not taken too seriously. And speaking of eps, heres the second

Business is booming at Nanimon’s bar. Various Virus Attribute digimon are drinking, playing cards, talking and one is singing the Summercamp song Nowhere Near at a karaoke stage. A Musyamon has just beat an Ogremon in arm wrestling, A Vilemon with a treasure chest filled with gold and jewels tells the Musymon that his master has a job for him.

Tapirmon and our Protagonist are about to walk along a log bridge above a river when Musyamon is seen on the other side, he says he has seen sent out to destroy the two, Tapirmon battles him and almost falls off the log bridge but Musyamon saves him, saying that if he won like that, it wouldn’t be honorable. And so they continue to fight.

Tapirmon is losing, but our protagonist uses his Digivice to Digivolve him into Apemon. Our Protagonist replies “a tapir evolving into an ape, Charles Darwin would like to have a word with you” Apemon replies “Digivolution doesn’t have to make sense, one of my old buddies is an Amphibian that digivolved into the Decomposing pile of meat” Apemon clubs Musyamon off the log bridge Into the river. Afterwards, Apemon summons a cloud, and he and our Protagonist ride on it and continue their journey to get the protagonist back to earth.

Where the river ends, Musyamon gets out of the river, when he hears someone say “you okay mister?” he lifts his head and sees an 8 or 9 year old girl standing there with a Digivice around her neck, he asks her where is her partner, she says she doesn’t have one, feeling that it would be dishonorable to slay a child without having to go through her Digimon partner first, says to her that they will meet again when she has her partner and walks away, the girl then starts to follow him.

Looks like I got some "support" from another website

It is pointless and probably would be the other three things, but it would not incorporate the other stuff.

Sorry Flare_knight Agumon is old hat (and overused)

But at least he's not trying to fuck the Tapirmon, which looks like this; http://digimon.wikia.com/wiki/Tapirmon. Though I'm almost certain that's going to come up eventually.

No Digimon-Human relationships in this fic! I'm still trying to figure out if it's going to have Human-Human relationships (And no, the young girl will not be involved in such things)

I have no excuse for this

No, I'm just Doing it for the heck of it.

edited 1st Jun '12 11:31:09 PM by truteal

Heh heh, well I guess that'll teach me not to make assumptions. My mistake.

At any rate, what you've got here (much like before) is pretty good. I'll admit that my proficiency lies with prose, so you'll forgive me if I think a bit of the meaning is lost between the summary and the story as a whole. That aside, even with your summary I can still start to feel the world you're building, the up-and-coming plot threads, and of course the humor. Although there is one thing I want to ask: when Musyamon asks the girl where her partner is, that seems to imply that other Mons have had human partners as well. Was that intentional? Do you plan on having humans embedded in your episodes' mythos?

Regardless, as long as you keep working on your "Digimon Whatever", I'm sure you'll be fine.

You're taking my fic way too seriously buddy

I can't help but be serious about something that intrigues me — not to mention that I genuinely want to help you as much as I can.

Here's the horribly written 3rd chapter synopsis

A 11 or 12 year old girl is walking to a video game store to buy Pokemon Black 2 and White 2 when she sees a Digivice on the ground. She grabs it and then it shoots out a portal to the Digital World, she goes inside it. Thinking that the Digital World is the world of Pokemon and her Digivice is a strange Pokeball (she says to herself “and I thought Apricorn mechanic was stupid”) she then sees a Floramon basking in the sun, the girl then throws her Digivice at the Floramon. The Floramon reacts in pain and runs over to the girl and asks why she did that, The girl then expresses extreme joy and hugs the Floramon and says “I thought talking Pokemon only existed in the cartoon!” and then asks the Floramon if it is the region’s equivalent of Bill. The Floramon tries to explain that it is a Digimon and this is the Digital World, but the girl grabs Floramon’s hand and she drags the Floramon away before the Floramon could finish.

Meanwhile up in the sky, The protagonist and Apemon are still on Apemon’s cloud, at that moment, Apemon is starting to feel weak and devolves into Tapirmon, making the cloud disappear and causing the protagonist and Tapirmon to fall from the sky in a comical fashion, after a while of walking from where they fell, they meet The 11 or 12 year old girl and Floramon and she challenges the protagonist to a “Pokemon battle” feeling that he has no choice the protagonist accepts, The “battle” starts and the girl orders Floramon to do various Grass-type Pokemon attacks, Floramon has no idea what she’s talking about, so the girl orders Floramon to attack Tapirmon.

After fighting a bit, The girl activates her Digivice, Digivolving Floramon into Ninjamon, giving it an advantage over Tapirmon, the protagonist Digivolves Tapirmon into Apemon.

While the two Digimon are fighting, Musyamon is watching from afar, the 8 or 9 year old girl goes over to him and tells Musyamon that he should attack the 2 Digimon after the fight when they are weakened, Musyamon responds by saying that it would be dishonorable to attack an opponent when it is not at full strength, the little girl says that his honor system is dumb, Musyamon asks her if she can bother someone else.

The “Pokemon battle” is over and Ninjamon is the winner, after shaking the protagonist’s hand and saying it was a good battle, the girl leaves with Ninjamon, then the Protagonist and Tapirmon leave to continue on their adventure.

And here's Chapter 4

The Protagonist and Tapirmon are walking along, Tapirmon says it would be easier and quicker to use Apemon’s cloud, the Protagonist says he’s not going to risk it, they then see a Digitown and go inside it and see the 11 or 12 year old girl with her Floramon trying to ask a Digimon where the “Pokemon center” is and if it knows anyone called “Nurse Joy”

After a while, Musyamon appears, so the Protagonist is about to Digivolve Tapirmon when The girl interrupts him and says that she is going to Capture the “Powerful looking Pokemon” herself.

She Digivolves Floramon into Ninjamon, Musyamon and Ninjamon fight and Ninjamon is winning. The girl throws her “Pokeball” at the weakened Musyamon and nothing happens, The Protagonist then Digivolves Tapirmon into Apemon. Musyamon, weakened and out numbered, retreats.

The 2 children and the Digimon are leaving the town when the Protagonist says “We make a pretty good team don’t we?” to the girl. The Tapirmon replies like it did before "but we Digimon did all the fighting!" The protagonist says "details, details" then the Floramon says to Tapirmon "but you didn’t do any fighting I did!" and then all four characters argue about who did what.

Note

If this was a fanfic (which it's not going to be) the closest thing it would have to romance is Ship Tease between the Protagonist and the Pokemon-Obsessed girl

edited 4th Jun '12 8:50:34 PM by truteal

OH SNAP. NO YOU DIDN'T.

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. Also, I'm not too worried about there being a romance...unless of course, you inject comedy in that as you've been doing thus far. That aside, two quick questions: have you decided on names for these characters yet? And second, are you posting these anywhere else online (or are planning to)?

edited 5th Jun '12 6:54:34 PM by Voltech44

No and no

Badly written chapter 5 ahoy!

Chapter 5

Musyamon has come back to Nanimon’s bar, he sees an Ogremon talking with a Goblimon while two Goblimon nearby them are playing cards. One of these Goblimon says “got any threes?” the other card player, whose hand is nothing but threes, responds with “I hate you so much right now” Ogremon, seeing Musyamon says that if he wants a rematch, he’s going to have to wait until his arm heels. Musyamon says to the Ogremon and the Goblimon trio that he has a job for them

Musyamon and his friends ambush the guy with the Tapirmon Partner and the girl with the Floramon Partner. Tapirmon Digivolves into Apemon while strangely, Floramon Digivolves into Kiwimon. They all fight and Musyamon and his help retreats (except for one Goblimon, who was sent flying by Apemon)

Meanwhile, in another part of the Digital world, a different 11 or 12 year old young man with a Digivice around his neck is walking along, then a Goblimon crashes in front of his path. The young man says “I don’t even want to know” and steps over him and continues on his way.

And chapter 6!

It is nighttime in the Digital World, The guy with the Tapirmon Partner and the girl with the Floramon Partner are sleeping, Musyamon is sleeping too in another part of the digital world. Then the little girl, after making sure that he is asleep snuggles up to him (in a non-sexual way)

The 11 or 12 year old young man who saw the Goblimon crashing, is still trekking through the forest. He then sees a light in the distance. He runs towards it and sees that it is a Candlemon, The Candlemon starts to follow him. A Tankmon then appears and says “When I destroy you two, I can finally get those gold plated tank treads I’ve been wanting” after being chased by the Tankmon, The kid uses his Digivice to Digivolve Candlemon into Meramon who defeats Tankmon.

Notes

The guy with the Candlemon partner is the "lone wolf" teammate (Matt and Koji)

Evolution chains

Tapirmon > Apemon > Mammothmon > Skull Mammothmon

Floramon > Ninjamon/Kiwimon > Blossomon/Deramon > Gryphonmon

Otamamon > Raremon > Ex Tyrannomon > Ghoulmon

Candlemon > Meramon > Skull Meramon > Boltmon

Now for the story of the Otamamon

A long time ago in a village of Otamamon and Gekomon that was ruled by a Shogun Gekomon, an Otamamon Digivolved into a Raremon instead of a Gekomon and he was kicked out by the Shogun Gekomon. He then meet a 11 or 12 year old young man named Johnny and they became partners (in a non sexual way) They then save the Otamamon/Gekomon village from a threat of some sort.

edited 4th Jul '12 2:24:02 AM by truteal