WTF Fanfiction

So uh

Let's... let's look past the whole "French-kissing Korra's nose" thing and focus on a more pressing issue:

"Wonderous" muscular mouth ostrich penis. For tongue.

I didn't need to have that image, dammit.

Is that the same author who did the Bolin/Raava thing a while back? The one with the radioactive tentacles causing sentient tumors?

It's not quite the same level of disgusting, but the writing seems a bit similar.

edited 17th Feb '14 11:51:55 AM by SapphireBlue

It's the same fic, actually.

That explains a lot.

edited 17th Feb '14 2:53:33 PM by Pykrete

Fandom: Sonic

True story, people.

As a Catholic, I found that hilarious.

I can't remember the phrase, but it involved Shaggy shooting Scrappy-Doo with a gun. Also, Fred runs people over. I wrote it, and it's better than it sounds. But, for other fanfiction, one example may be a story I read about Dr. Doom taking over the world of Pokemon. I can't remember the phrasing, but it involved the Pokedex calling one Pokemon "___ (I can't remember the name): The Annoying Pokemon."

"She squealed like a retarded gibbon giving birth to a train." Dexter's Laboratory.

Fandom: Regular Show

“Mordecai then closed his eyes and start to snuggle his beak into Rigby’s neck. While he was doing that, he then worked his hand lower down his body an grabbed his(well you know XD) gently. Then he did something else to it (which I really don’t want to explain)”

Ruined it.

Fandom: Fruits Basket

“Me being the coo coo for his being cocoa puffs I said sure with my head hanging a little bit thinking that we were gonna talk about yesterday and the day before.”

I’m sorry, I don’t speak Word Saladish. Oh, and don’t touch my Coco Pops.

Fandom: Death Note

“Light was sacred because…..HE WAS KIRA!”

I dunno why I find that so hilarious.

And now for a gem from Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre:

so we went to da consert n ed n i had innercoarse on da way. evry1 tought we wer so cute

I know it’s an obvious Troll Fic, but I felt it deserves a mention.

edited 23rd Feb '14 4:11:53 PM by IchigoPockyChama

Aww, this place is dead? Come on, I've got some more WT Fery right here!

Fandom: My Candy Love

“I push his shoulders back so I can look him in the eye. They were dancing with sadness and being the home of a waterfall.”

Is it just me, or does it read as though there are actually waterfalls in this poor chap’s eyes?

“Joe Jonas, your lyrical cock is so huge!”

It’s Chintsubu meets High School Musical!

“Mordecai sat on the log waiting for the raccoon to get done. The sound of Rigby pissing turned him on, but made him feel strange.

“Why the hell is that turning me on?” Mordecai thought to himself, noticing his own cock grow.”

Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve read about a piss fetish in a terrible fanfic.

Now for a series of quotes that are Actually Pretty Funny from this frickin’ AMAZING fanfic:

“Maybe when I’m finished playing naughty with Rigby over there, you and I can play something naughty as well.”

No context for you! XP

“It was a strange feeling being dead. Felt pretty good actually. Like a big release. The biggest orgasm you’ve ever had in your life. You’re free!”

Margaret! Those were very unladylike thoughts you just had!

“Ybgir smiled lustfully and lunge forward to tackle the raccoon to the couch. “Is it considered masturbation if I fuck myself?””

This merits an entry on the Screw Yourself page. Made of so much win.

God I love ponyfic.

I couldn't help but crack up at "Mt. Hymen".

"De-virginated" almost sounds like something you'd read on bottled water.

De-virginated bottled water fresh from the springs of Mt. Hymen.

I need to be de-virginated in a couple years' time.

Fandom: Regular Show

"She went to work and saw her friend.

She had a crush on him.

He had a crush on her.

Mutual feelings.

But she already had Ben.

'Hey Chad!'

'Hey, I wanted to ask you something…'

'Sure, what is it?'

'Eileen, will you be my girlfriend?'

'Of course, Chad!'

They kissed under the table and Mordecai came in the coffee shop.”

There's your crack pairing for the week. Eileen and Chad never even met in canon... And what exactly is Mordecai's role in this?

Fandom: Dora the Explorer

"Dora and Boots sat on the beach, leaning against some giant rocks. It was a tense setting as for the first time ever, Dora was fuming in anger. Stupidly, Boots tried to calm her… in Spanish. 'Feliz Cumpleaños a ti…' He said sadly. That’s when Dora snapped. 'SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU CAN’T SPEAK SPANISH!' She began ruthlessly beating him untill Diego came swinging in on a vine. Her anger turned on him. 'AND YOU! HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? THERE AREN’T ANY FUCKING TREES ON THIS BEACH!' And that’s when Diego tazed her. She screamed in retaliation, 'DON’T TAZE ME CUZ!'”

Fandom: Harry Potter

"Snape began sucking on Hermione’s boob like a calf sucking on a cow’s udder. He slid his hand expertly down to her pot of honey and stroked it. He moved his lips and bit small marks on her like someone eating a bag of potato chips. Hermione moaned like a ghost in a graveyard."

Th-those metaphors...

Fandom: Harry Potter

"Lay down Hermione. You will soon feel the pleasure of Snape’s snake."

Yes. Just yes.

Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica/Pacific Rim

"So like Sayaka is very emo about Keyuskiko not being able to play K-On on his violin. This is not sugoi.

So Sayaka makes A WISH!

'Kyubey Kyubey Kyubey!' (contract?) says the pokemon, Kyubey, with a creepy expressionless face.

'I wanna become a JAEGER PILOT!'”

This is made of so much awesome... now I wanna hear Kyousuke try, but fail, to play 'Fuwa Fuwa Time' on his violin.

edited 11th Mar '14 2:22:32 AM by IchigoPockyChama

This is the fic that the Sayaka one was taken from, if anyone's interested.

edited 11th Mar '14 4:39:39 PM by SapphireBlue

I'll have to read that later. I'm at school right now XP

Ohei guys, remember this quote from a few pages back?

I found the fanfic it came from while digging through other piles of crap on FFN. Yes, its Morby porn {obviously NSFW, but then again this whole thread is}; no, you may not want to eat pickles again after reading it. MAGICAL EJACULATION CANNON, RELEASE!

Now that that brain breaking shit’s out the way, we have this:

See guys, Regular Show’s got the sillies as well. Visit the fanfic archive sometime… if you dare.

That made me laugh. What the hell is wrong with me? XD

"Magical ejaculation cannon" makes me think of CANNON PEEEENIS!

edited 11th Mar '14 7:11:18 PM by Explosivo25

What the hell did I just read?

I don't think I've ever submitted to wtffanfiction this fast before. I'd submit the whole thing if I could, but I settled for the cow bit.

It's not even the only one - this author has two other fics that are in the same vein.

edited 12th Mar '14 10:17:34 AM by SapphireBlue

I love how one of the categories is "poetry".

I just... What. Oh god, that one was too funny XD

GODAMNIT FFN IS BLOCKED AT MY SCHOOL.

I did read the Sayaka fic last night though.Was it based off Meduka Meguca or something? Still hilarious either way.