Special Snowflake

The Special Snowflake Syndrome appears to be, at least originally, an RPG phenomenon, but it seems like it's a common criticism addressed to people who, in Real Life, go out of their way to be special, excentric, different, unique, etc., actively cultivate it, take pride in it, etc. What surprises me is that it's often said with the utmost derision. It's also a common criticism against tropers (at least those who think that their differences are interesting enough to warrant mentioning them in the now defunct Troper Tales or the fora: a selection bias might be in place).

So I'd like to sit down and have a talk with you all, America, about weirdness, weirdness for weirdness's sake, when it's okay to tolerate it, when it is not, why it can be irritating, if not downright unacceptable, damnable and bannable. So, what do you say, America?

edited 13th Nov '11 5:24:00 AM by PacificState

Wanting to be exactly like everyone else is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Of course, being different for the sake of being different is a sign of a conceited idiot, which is much worse.

This, basically. Just be yourself, and let whether that self happens to be like or unlike everyone else be a cooincidence either way.

I think that is impossible.

Indeed. Who is this stable, immutable self?

The reason why it's treated as a bad thing is because Special Snowflake Syndrome is, in my experience, often used as an excuse for why someone should be exempt from the rules or otherwise get special treatment.

It's especially annoying when talking to the people who claim they want equality, then bitch when you give them equal treatment (i.e. treat them the same way you'd treat anyone else).

I don't have a problem with weirdness (in fact, I like hanging out with quirky people; it makes life more interesting), so long as people remember you still kinda gotta exist in the real world and not everyone's going to bend over backwards to accommodate you.

My real problem is with those who do it not just for the attention, but for the right to complain about the attention. Too many Deviant Art blog comments are out there of people complaining about getting weird looks for wearing cat ears and tail around a restaurant.

When it comes to RP Gs, well, most of my RP Gs get crazy as it is so it's hard to find something that doesn't get allowed in. What I can't stand are people just trying to get the spotlight on them by making a really annoying excuse to come into the scene crying. I don't like having our characters meet at a bar, but I'd MUCH prefer that than someone else charging in causing a huge scene revolving around them.

But, anyway, yeah, back to real life, I tend to see people using it as an excuse to be "the main character." They see themselves as the only thinking mind in a herd of sheep, and do anything to stick out, giving them the "right" to be outrageous. I blame anime. The sad part is that I'm only 60% sarcastic.

The context I most often hear this in is video games, specifically World Of Warcraft. It's used to refer to people who choose to build their characters differently from everyone else despite the fact that the "accepted" builds are mathematically proven to be better. The idea being that they're intentionally crippling themselves for no reason other than to be different (and indeed, they would likely reach the same standard builds on their own if there had been no one else doing it first). It's like chopping off your hand so you can brag about being the only one-handed person in the room. You're certainly free to do what you want, but don't brag about it or insult all the two-handed people for being mindless sheep.

edited 13th Nov '11 5:55:50 PM by Clarste

My experience/observations tend toward the same thing, FWIW. Working in retail as long as I have, off and on, has provided far too many examples for my comfort.

When I was in high school, I got a thrill from how weird people found me. Better or worse than the Struggle Against Catgirl Ridicule?

In an social situation, it should be left up to the discretion of the individual. I'm certainly not going to think less of you if you come to the bar in whatever wacky attire you desire to wear that night, but I can't speak for the thuggish group who might feel like you don't belong there. So, you know, use your own judgement with those kinds of things, and realize that if you're getting weird looks it's because you decided to stand out in that situation.

In any professional environment, though, I'd expect even unique snowflakes to adhere to the basic dress code required by the situation. My friend who thinks he's a fox can't come to my wedding in his fursuit the same reason my flamboyantly gay friend can't come in bike shorts and a tube top.

Of course, all my examples deal with apperances, but I think the same general rules can apply to actions as well.

I honestly think today's society places far too much stock in the individual. All the hipsters who would go any length to be even marginally unique should just shut up and get back in line.

Unique is fine. Pseudo-anticonformism, ironically, is the same thing as regular conformism, with the added belief of superiority due to being "different, like everyone else".

edited 13th Nov '11 10:12:49 PM by tropetown

You can mathematically prove that a build is more powerful. You can't mathematically prove that it's more fun to play, and in a game, fun should be the ultimate determinant of "better."

The difference between being an individual and being a Special Snowflake is, basically, individualistic people expect to treated as individuals. Special Snowflakes expect to be treated like they are special.

People who subscribe to being unique and people who complain about this are exactly the same.

In the end, if it doesn't put you in prison, no one should really care what you do with yourself on your own time. This idea that you should either always conform or never conform is ridiculous.

I won't name anyone specifically, but there's always the occasional case where some new poster will show up (both here and on other sites) and begin emphasizing at every opportunity how he or she has some kind of unique trait/belief/standing in society compared to everyone else. And no, I'm not picking on anyone on this particular thread. Don't worry .

Honestly, it's not really all that jarring at first, but when a person's "special" status doesn't garner enough attention, they start mentioning what makes them "special" more and more—they'll repeat it constantly in their posts, they'll start threads on their "differences", they'll cover their avatars and signatures with reminders of their "uniqueness", and after a while, it gets kind of... amusing, because that one trait is now being self-flaunted as that person's sole defining aspect of his or her personality—which ultimately makes that person more one-dimensional than they were before.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is that while it's okay to be different and it's also okay to be proud having some different trait, you shouldn't be proud of a particular characteristic because it is different, and you shouldn't be ashamed of sharing "common" traits with other people. An interesting personality consists of a combination of many "common" and "different" traits combined on the same person.

Yes, and do you know what's equally annoying? People complaining about that.

Just keep that in mind the next time you get self-righteous for being un-unique.

Quit being so self-righteous. No one's complaining, not even in this thread.

The thread itself is complaining about it.

I apologize for my tone, but my point stands.

No it's not. The thread is promoting discussion, which people are doing.

Well whatever then.

Personally, I get annoyed at people trying to be different by complaining about other people trying to be different.

Well now, that's a complaint in of itself, isn't it? Oh well.

Nothing wrong with being different, and if you are, you should be proud of it; accept it, use it to your advantage, and don't be afraid to display it. Taking on superficial differences, and trying to be different because it's the cool thing to do, on the other hand, is conformism masquerading as uniqueness.

edited 13th Nov '11 10:27:48 PM by tropetown

@Blixty

I'm not complaining about people being different, or trying to be different. I'm complaining about people who are obnoxious about being different, or otherwise expect everyone to bend over backwards for them.

(Though I'll admit to being more favorable towards people who are genuinely eccentric as opposed to affectedly so.)

I've always been eccentric, but stunts like dressing as a ghost for School Spirit Day were clearly working at eccentricity. (Though all one administrator noticed was that I was wearing make-up for a change...) Anyway, I still remember that day fondly, so if it was inauthentic, at least it was fun.