JEALOUSY, or my evil dark side

When my girl so much as smiles pleasantly to another guy, I become murderous, like, there's my blood chilling and my brain just makes up stuff all by itself and I start making evil plans and everything. I'm very lucky that I am so bad at them that I seriously never go through with them, because I can't seem to think of one that would have no consequences whatsoever for me. I hope it's a rationalization for me not actually wanting to do them deep inside, but I'm not too sure. I did act on them when I was too young to be any better, and they blew up in my face completely, like, Epic Fail. So now, I just keep the hate inside. I had a discussion with my current girl about this: she can read me like an open book. I told hem she shouldn't stop being pleasant to other people because of me, that it was my problem, not hers, and that I'd be damned if I'd let such irrational bullshit get in the way of us being happy, or make her feel stifled or controlled. She still managed to take it the wrong way, but I feel like it was more of a default reaction because she really didn't know what to think. Honestly, I just want to get rid of that nonsense. Here's a song. When I'm jealous, I become the diametral opposite of everything I believe in, everything I stand for. I become such an asshole, ¿Perhaps I should get therapy?

Here's another one, but I don't like it, it's too much self-victimization.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

I hear you, man. Jealousy's a bitch, and I mean the bad kind of bitch. It has become about a third of all my emotions. I mean, whether or not I have good reasons for my incredible fear of being left out or left behind, it doesn't matter; the fact is, when I'm jealous, I can easily be a clingy asshole.

There's gotta be a way to cure it. I don't think therapy would help, though. But if you wanna try it, by all means, go for it. After all, you never know.

tout est sacré pour un sacreur (Avatar by Rappu!)

To be fair, if you weren't the jealous type, that could cause problems too.

I'm assuming your joking but either way it's funny.

"Dr. Strangeloid, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Cleanlink" - thespacephantom

Don't these usually go in Yack Fest?

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

... I really intended to have a serious conversation on jealousy and the effects thereof on a healthy relationship...

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

Is a relationship healthy if your girlfriend's slightest actions inspire murderous rage? Do you have trust issues?

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

No, no, I'm enraged at the guy, not her.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

Well, next time, put yourself in the guy's shoes and see how you'd feel if someone wanted to stab you for getting smiled at?

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

I've tried that, does nothing for me. I'm the sort of guy who'd smile smugly at the enraged, enjoying how silly, pointless, helpless their rage is: if I am to take their girl, there is nothing they can do about it, and they know it... Knowing full well how difficult murder plots are to elaborate properly, and how risky they are, and how it's not worth i-

Wait.

I'm realising that

• isn't necessarily rational and intelligent enough to know this and to act accordingly.
• my rival might instead resort to much simpler bullying and harassing methods that don't warrant a CSI team looking for your hair.
• I, on the other hand, had an intent to kill which made the aforementioned actions not even worth considering.

I think I should leave my girlfriend and be celibate for a while, because there's something wrong here, and I need to find out what.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

Well, at the least, getting some distance sounds like a really good idea. I'm glad you can hold onto enough objectivity to realize you've got a problem.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic

I'm a lesswrongian rationalist. It's what we do. What is true already is so, owning up to it doesn't make it worse, lying to oneself about it doesn't make it better.

edited 30th Jul '11 4:46:46 PM by GoodGuyGreg

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

I get those feelings sometime too, and my girlfriend gets the same if a girl smiles at me.

I do the best I can to shove those feelings somewhere deep, and maybe initiate a little PDA to counteract it.

You do sound a little like a clingy jealous Yandere. Best to just let her have her own opinions and thoughts, because worrying and fretting about what your significant other so much as thinks is...ugh.

Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.

I have no power over and no certain way of knowing her thoughts and opinions and wishes. That's what drives me crazy. If we could have a Mind Link or something and whenever a guy smiles at her I can feel her thinking, I'd relax a lot. It's the uncertainty...

And yeah, I hope I never become... :D

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

You are frustrated because you cannot know what she is thinking when she looks at another guy. First, it sounds like you have trust issues you need to work out. She is not going to go running off just if she sees a passing Bi Shonen. I'd advise you to get some therapy. This much control obsession never leads anywhere but that picture you just posted.

Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.

Nah, that picture just represents the outcome that is the most enteraining to watch. Violence is a lot less common than people think.

Notice how while Ren is extremely violent towards Stimpy, it's only when he's normal. When he has insanity spells like the one above, he doesn't lay a hand on him. Anyhoo, my anger is never directed at my GF, I always think she deserves better.

edited 31st Jul '11 8:36:36 PM by GoodGuyGreg

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

IMX, most jealousy stems from feelings of inferiority - ie, you feel murderous because some part of you believes that the guy smiling at your girl is better than you, hence if he's dead she won't leave you for someone better. I don't know you well enough to say how applicable this is, but it was true for me for many years *

so it's something to consider.

I don't know if being single would actually help you. I didn't get over it until after I had been married for a few years, and it subconsciously sank in that no, my wife wasn't going to lie to me and betray me*

. Of course, I also now come in as Neutral Evil on alignment tests, which might have something to do with it too.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

Please link me to one of those tests, I'm very curious as to the results they might yield. And yes, I do think I do not deserve her. A self-fullfilling prophecy, I know.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

Alignment tests? Take this one. It's, IMO, the best one of the bunch. Got Lawful Neutral, by the way.

The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.

On the one Milos posted, I come in at True Neutral (25% good, 23% Lawful). The other one I took was an offline test, 240 questions, that actually rates you for being close to the line - I rated Neutral/Evil-leaning-neutral.

I'm betting that your feelings of inferiority are a large part of your homicidal urges. I don't know if you've tried seeing a psychologist or not, but getting some kind of help to deal with it should decrease your anger issues.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

There are offline tests that comprehensive for something as trivial as alignments? Wow.

The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.

This test is tough. I'm starting to feel like a complete asshole. Back when I was a kid, my stadards were much higher than this, but somewhere on the way it seems I grew tired and went the Yao Ming way about some things (i.e. "Screw this"). Haven't finished it yet.

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.

I like that test.

Also... I can't resist.

"This thread has gone so far south it's surrounded by nesting penguins. " — Madrugada

Hehe, turns out I'm Neutral Good after all, just as I thought. :)

The Quiet One. No OTT. No unfunny. No squick. No crusades. Harmless and clean.